“Yeah, they’re in front. And you are too skinnier than me. I can lift you and throw you. So, tiny in that department,” she answered.
“You’re ridiculous,” I laughed.
“Na, you like it when I do that. It’s usually when you’re being too sexy and I can’t stand it so I have to have you right then,” she teased.
“Stop!” I whined. It made me blush too much when she talked about playing with me. The whole reason I started to have feelings was because she started to mess around and touch me so much: pinching my sides, touching my shoulders, holding my hands. Every little touch sort of escalated things. I loved it so much that when she didn’t do it I thought I did something wrong or maybe she wasn’t as into me as I thought. It was almost maddening. When she’d flirt or tease other people I wanted to die.
“Why? Too tempting? Should I talk about how amazing you taste or how ready for you I am right now just thinking about it?” She wondered.
I breathed deeply. “You’re really mean,” I said. She always teased me when she knew we couldn’t do anything. The last thing I needed right now was to be thinking about her sex.
“Oh, sorry,” she said.
“No you’re not,” I reminded. “How am I supposed to not touch you on the plane?”
She shrugged. “There are two lavatories in the plane. Who says you have to?” She asked.
She turned her body between my legs so she was facing me and bent her head to kiss my neck, sucking on my skin but not enough to leave a mark.
Either way, I felt what she did in every part of me. Even my nipples tightened and rubbed on her chest. “Airplane bathrooms are gross,” I lamented. When she sucked I already wanted her. It made everything tough.
“Yeah, well, needs must…” She said and kept torturing me with kisses and gentle hands playing with my sides.
“Must?” I dazed, hanging on the edge of her sentence. My mouth watered and I kept feeling little explosions behind my eyes. I was so starved that even just kissing her set my body alight. The quick spread of a wildfire. Every small touch created a large ripple until it was like she’d been touching me everywhere, teasing my nakedness and stroking my insides. Her finger-beds pressed and dragged across my heart, creating a roaring fire in the inner caverns of my chest.
“Dictate,” she whispered, finishing the sentence.
My urges got the better of me. Her lips, so close. I slipped my tongue inside her and stole her away. My hunger had become this insatiable thing. No amount of time with her was enough and I was done pretending I didn’t feel this way.
She reacted to me, pushing my back into the wall and getting intense. Her hands slipped under my shirt on both sides, fingers trailing up my sides and down to my hips. She squeezed, digging her nails into my skin.
My tongue pulsed inside her and strong shocks of pleasure reverberated throughout my body. It was so much to take that I audibly moaned.
“Fuck,” I groaned, so lost on her that my lust could probably be read by some alien way up in the dead space of the stratosphere “I will not survive this, honey.”
Her taste was so sweet and her moves were so precise that I knew I was dead.
“Nope, you can’t die now. I need you,” she whispered.
Her hand slipped down to cup my sex and she started to rub over my pants.
“Fuck,” I whined, lost.
My hand slipped down over hers and I stopped us. “Not here,” I whispered, eyes shut. We were in public and her parents could walk up on us and see. I didn't want that, even if I did love every little thing that was happening. It always surprised and excited me when Charli was bad. “I’m gonna freak out,” I laughed, relieved to have stopped us.
“Noooo,” she groaned.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” I clicked my tongue and ran my hand through my hair to try and calm myself down.
“Now, I’m gonna die,” she whined.
Her hands returned to a safe place, atop my thighs and she rested her face on my shoulder.
I slid my fingers into her hair and held her head to keep her close. “This is probably going to be the longest flight of our lives,” I admitted truthfully.
“When we get there we’re going straight to the hotel though. I’ll just think about that,” she said.
She straightened and looked at me, using her hands to brush my hair back and cup my cheeks.
“Did I ever tell you that I thought I was probably asexual or something sometimes? I know that’s not true now. I want you all the time,” she said.
“Yeah?” I asked, heart alight with that rolling fire. “I didn’t know that,” I breathed. I loved when she shared things with me.
"I'd see Lindsey and Abby together and I never felt anything. My brain was like… aren't you supposed to feel like that about someone too? I just never got it until the first time we kissed," she explained.
“Yeah?”
She always surprised me. I never would’ve thought that about her.
“Well, you drive me nuts,” I reminded. “And it’s nothing to joke about. I practically crawl out of my skin sometimes because I want you so much.”
"Awww, I feel like I should apologize,” she said.
“You probably should,” I laughed. “Before we got together you were driving me nuts. I couldn't figure you out. You’d be all over me and then you’d flirt with some girl in front of me. It was terrible. I wanted to die.”
"Oh my god, really? When did I flirt? I don't remember flirting, except maybe one time. I just thought you weren't into me that way the whole time," she replied.
“You always flirted,” I squeaked. “Girls were always hitting on you in front of me. It was a nightmare. Of course I wanted you. You’re the only person I’d even talk to and we slept together every night. Why would I sleep with you if I didn’t want you?”
"I just thought you liked to cuddle or something. I wondered but I didn't let myself believe it. I thought I was too boring or dorky. You're just so… cool and hot. I'm just a nerd that can kick a ball," she said.
“Stop it. You’re so sexy Charli.” It upset me that she couldn’t see. I didn’t know the next thing about soccer but I knew what she did to me and it wasn’t like anything I’d ever felt before. It was intense.
"As long as you feel that way, it's all good. I just can't see myself that way. You make me feel wanted though and hot when you touch me like you do "
“Good,” I answered. I moved to stand, despite my better judgement. “We’re gonna miss the flight if we don’t get back there.”
My coffee was probably cold. I looked down at it and frowned.
"You're right," Charli said.
She took her phone out and frowned. Mom called me a few times. They must be close to starting."
"Come on," I asked, giving her my hand. "They probably already think I'm a bad influence."
"No they don't. They think you've made me happy," she replied.
“We’ll see,” I teased. Her parents were too nice to ever slip up and let me see something mean. If they even had that in them I was certain I’d never witness it. But making them all miss their flight would definitely be a huge fuck up on my part so I wasn’t about to let the time slip by.
Sure enough, her parents were waiting nervously with all our luggage at the gate. A lot of people were still in line to get onboard. Perhaps they were nervous flyers and they liked to sit early.
"Sorry we got distracted," Charli explained.
"We're just glad you made it," Dad said.
He handed us our tickets and started to walk toward the line.
"Maybe you should keep your phone ringer on when we get to the layover in New York," her mom said.
I felt guilty.
"Sorry, I'll make sure it's on," Charli answered.
I slipped my hands onto her sides from behind and held her close. “Come on you,” I whispered. I picked my bag up and used my body to bully Charli into getting in line. “Last chance to escape,” I teased. “If you don’t say
something right now I’m going to follow you all around the world and drive you insane.”
"Same to you. Last chance to avoid being trapped with me forever."
"Are you kidding? That sounds like a dream."
The lady scanned our tickets and stared at us intensely.
"Sheesh," I said, shaking that off as we sped down the hall to the plane.
"What was that?" Charli wondered.
"I dunno but I'm not a fan."
"I'm convinced that woman is a dementor," Charli joked.
"Yeah, that explains it," I sighed.
The people in front of us were walking like turtles.
When we finally got through to the door the crowd dispersed and our seats were real close.
Charli scooted into the seat by the window and put her backpack down under the seat in front of her.
"Finally," she muttered.
"Yeah? Was all that with me just torture then?" I teased.
I stood over her and waited for a response.
I knew we'd be sitting for a while so I stretched my arms up onto the overhead ledge and clung onto it.
"No, I just want you close and…" she trailed off, staring at me openly. "Speaking of torture," she said.
I bit my bottom lip and smiled. It was way too easy to get to her. "You want me over there?" I teased, taking a second to drag out the stare she was giving me.
"Yeeeees," she drawled.
I groaned a little and slunk over into her chair to cuddle her. "Did you bring a blanket?" I pouted.
"No but the flight attendant can get us one and some pillows," she said.
She pulled me in to hug me.
"As soon as we take off I'll ask," she finished.
"Okay," I said, resting. "Mmm… I forgot I should be tired." Her Charli smell was addicting. I was so glad she hadn't showered. I felt weird like I shouldn't tell her that.
Her neck was so close. I couldn't help but lick it and taste it. Just a little bit. But then I started and that led to not being able to stop. "You taste so good," I whispered, turned on by her form. The places where our bodies touched, everything was so right.
"You're gonna kill me," she whispered.
"But you taste so good," I repeated, licking her slower. "I can't stop."
I moved her hand to my breast and forced her to squeeze it. My mouth fell open and I breathed against the wetness on her neck.
"Okay, are you getting me back for earlier. If so, good job cause I'm this close to tearing all your clothes off," she whispered.
"I am so obsessed with you," I whispered tenderly.
"Girls, wait till after take off. The flight attendant is staring at you," Charli's mom teased.
"Oh, uh, um," I cleared my throat and pushed off Charli's seat to go and sit in my own chair.
This was impossible.
I buckled my seatbelt and tried to act cool.
I hated having to ignore how I felt for her so that other people could be comfortable. And I know it was an irrational feeling and I shouldn't be so on edge but I really missed and wanted her and it was starting to actually stress me out to not have the space to indulge.
Charli buckled her seat belt and settled into her seat. Her face was flushed red. She reached over and took my hand.
"The lavatory is looking better by the second," she whispered.
I smirked at her sadly. "Sorry," I said. I knew my cheeks were flushed too since they burned. "I feel like a crazy person."
"Baby, do not apologize. I'm just as crazy as you. When you start looking at me and doing stuff, I don't care where we are, I get crazy," she assured me.
"Does it bother you," I wondered. "That I want you so much?"
Charli was so good at being patient and trying to read me. I wasn't that good with her.
"No, it's reassuring to be honest and very attractive. I've never thought anyone would feel that way about me," she replied.
"I dunno," I said, stressed. Vic always said I was crazy. The way I lost myself in sex.
I pulled a little notebook out of my bag and started to scribble in it. Anything to distract my hands.
Soft hands. Tan eyes. Pink lips.
I wrote the words slowly and cleared my throat to try to calm down.
The way her hair slips down beside my face when she kisses me.
I shut my eyes and sucked on my top lip.
"I don't think it's crazy. Was it that way with Logan?" She asked.
"What way?" I wondered.
Smile lines. The sexy voice.
I kept writing small things.
"All passionate. I know it wasn't the same as how we are but I was just curious," she said.
"No," I said, finding her eyes and shaking my head. We didn't really talk about it. The important things. "But… Maybe I have a problem," I said.
"What kind of problem?" She asked.
"Normal girls don't get pregnant in high school."
"Girls get pregnant in high school all the time, normal girls. Teenagers have been having sex since the beginning of time," Charli reasoned.
"I dunno," I said. Everything with Charli was so much more intense for me. "You don't think I have an addiction?"
"I don't think it's abnormal. We're intense. I like that. I think I would be worried if you weren't addicted. I'd know I was the only one," she said.
The flight attendant was doing the safety talk and the plane was getting ready to leave the gate but we were wrapped up in our talk.
"You're not like… lying to me, right? Like… to make me feel better?"
"I'm a shitty liar. You'd know," she replied, shaking her head.
"Okay," I said, watching her. There was a lot of stuff I still hadn't figured out.
I shut my book and took her hand.
Once we take off we can lay close again. I felt like a jerk for not being able to talk to her right or chill out.
I swallowed and breathed deeply.
"You're doing that thing where your brain gets all busy and I get intrigued, wondering what's going on in there," she said.
I swallowed again and leaned my head back on the seat. "Being away from you was really hard," I said, biting my lip. My eyes glossed over and I knew I'd probably cry again like last night, which sucked. Charli probably thought I was crazy. We were having sex then and I couldn't stop crying.
I didn't want to talk about it but I needed to. I needed to tell her things. Not hide them.
"You got scared about things, like if I still wanted to be with you," she recalled.
"That's part of it," I said. "Dealing with my thoughts has been hard."
"What are the other parts? Missing me?" She asked.
"Living with you… it was stable," I said. "Healthy… Loving… and then to have to change… Go back…"
She pulled my hand into her lap and pet my arm while she held it.
"Ask them to let you stay with us when we come back. You shouldn't have to go there," Charli said.
"Ug. I'm sorry," I whined, tears spilling out of me. "I know you're like so happy and so excited about the trip but I'm just messed up right now and scared about what happens when it's over."
"That's okay, really. We should talk about it. I don't want to be away from you. It's not good," she said.
"I'm sorry," I said again. I needed to settle.
"You don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong, baby," she said.
She kept stroking my arm and looking at me.
I didn't know what else to say.
We taxied down the runway and took to the air. The sounds of the airplane and the people around us filled the silence until we were at cruising altitude and Charli asked the flight attendant for the blanket.
She brought us two pillows and two blankets and left to attend to someone else.
"Come over here," Charli said.
She moved over in her seat to make room for me.
I got up and moved over, embarrassed that I said so much. One of the things I kept thinking about wh
ile we were apart was how little I told her. It made me want to try more, be better.
I cuddled into her on her chair and rest my face on her chest.
"Better," she said.
She covered us with the blankets and offered me a pillow. We settled in and got as comfortable as possible.
"Sometimes I worry that I haven't told you how much you mean to me in the right way. I don't want to hurt you and not know it," she said.
I breathed out slowly. "I love you so much."
All of this from me was just pressure on her and that's why I always held back in the first place.
"I love you too," she replied.
She rested her head on the pillow and watched me.
"Are you still worried?" She asked.
"I don't want you to feel pressured to stay with me," I realized. "And I'll always worry. To me you're perfect. Like a dream."
"I don't feel pressured. I feel lucky that you want me to stay," she replied.
"I wanna stay with you," I reminded. "And I will. I'll ask my parents. It's just scary trying to talk to them."
"I get it. They're just hard and bizarre. Your mom scares me a little," Charli frowned.
"Yeah," I said. I kept wanting to apologize.
"I'm sorry they don't love you right," Charli said.
"Me too," I whispered. "Thanks for being so sweet to me."
She nodded and moved her head closer to mine. I could feel her breath on my skin. The drug of her being was definitely stronger than my sadness and confusion. I touched a hand to her neck and kissed her cheek, happy to have her so near. It wasn’t her fault I didn’t know or understand myself and I didn’t want her thinking I wasn’t happy to be here, that really was so far from the truth. I'd been counting down the seconds to get to her, so much so, my heart ached every bit of the day until I found her again.
Chapter 37
Our second plane took us across the Atlantic to London. We were all tired when we landed but exhilaration kept me from showing it much.
I was too excited to see everything and do things with Laura. She had never been taken care of and I hoped we could start a new life where she was always appreciated by the people that mattered.
The talk on the first flight stuck with me. There was a deep sadness in her put there by people that shouldn't ever give anything but safety and happiness to a child.
Love Like Crazy Page 47
