by Nicole Dykes
Maybe Asher is right, and we shouldn’t mess with what we have right now because it feels pretty damn perfect.
“Swearer!” I laugh as Baz runs to the door. When I open it, Sawyer is standing there wearing swim trunks and a tank top, ready to go swimming. The way he pronounces his name cracks us both up.
“Damn straight.” Sawyer laughs as he walks inside, and I close the door behind him.
“You better watch the swearing. Viv is gonna kill ya.”
“Mommy wouldn’t do that.” Baz crosses his little arms, irritated with me for fucking with his new buddy.
“Where is Mommy Dearest?”
“Don’t call her that.” I flop down on the couch, and Sawyer makes himself comfortable next to me as Baz uses us both for a jungle gym.
“Sorry, where’s Vivienne Crenshaw?”
“She went to get a new swimsuit. She should be back soon.”
“Cool.” Sawyer tickles Baz, and he giggles. “We going swimming, little man?”
“Yes!” He continues to giggle, and who the hell knew Sawyer was so damn good with kids? Certainly not me, and I’ve seen him around his own nieces and nephews. He comes from a big family and has a lot already.
“Well, let’s go then.” Sawyer looks over at me. “She’ll be cool with that, right?”
“Yeah, as long as we watch him really fu . . .” I look at Baz and fix my bad language. “Closely.”
He laughs at that. “I suppose we can do that.”
I get Baz changed into his little swim trunks and change into mine before we all go out on the patio. I hold him as we climb into the pool, and we take turns holding him while we play basketball with a floating hoop until I hear the sliding glass door open and know Viv is home.
Hopefully, she won’t be pissed that we took him swimming already, but the kid has been waiting for a good three hours.
“Mommy!” Sawyer has Baz facing the door as he waves at her, and I notice as my friend’s face morphs into something I don’t fucking like. Not at all.
I turn around and instantly want to rip Sawyer’s eyes out because now I know exactly what he was staring at. Viv walks over to the pool, a smile on her face as she looks down at her son, and I should get a fucking award for even noticing her face at the moment.
She’s not wearing a mom suit. She’s wearing a black string bikini and rocking a bod I had no idea she had. Toned legs and a narrow waist cinched in, giving her the perfect hourglass figure with a flat stomach and tits. Shit. She has perfect tits that are barely contained by the top. I thought the dress she wore for her date was bad, but that bikini is fucking torture.
I’m staring. I can’t stop staring. Look away, asshole.
“Viv. Hey.”
Nice. Asshole, why don’t you wipe away the fucking drool? It’s dripping down your chin.
Sawyer lets out a whistle, breaking the spell. I turn back to him as he leers at her. “Holy shit, Viv. You look hot.”
I look back at Vivienne as she waves him off, walking toward the pool and giving me a better view of her ass, the cheeks peeking out of the black material. She reaches the stairs and shrugs her small shoulders, bringing my attention back to her tits because I can’t stop staring at her body like the degenerate I am.
“The swimsuits were limited since it’s the end of the season. It took me forever to find this.”
She wades into the water, going toward Baz as he leaps into her arms happily, and I’m actually grateful to my nephew for covering her chest. I need to get a grip.
“It looks damn good.”
Her eyes connect with Sawyer’s. “I know he calls you ‘Swearer,’ but how about you stop teaching him fun words to say at daycare?”
Sawyer just grins at her and actually fucking winks. “Oh, come on. There are a lot more fun words I could teach him.”
Instead of lecturing him further, like she would no doubt do with me, she laughs, actually goddamn laughs. “Please don’t.”
He laughs with her, and I’m not sure I’ve ever had the urge to punch someone in the face more than I do right now, and Sawyer is one of my best friends.
Still, he’s not even hiding his ogling, and it’s pissing me off. “Well, now that Viv’s here, how about we go find something else to do?”
Sawyer barely looks in my direction. “No way, man. I’m having fun. You can go if you want.”
Not a fucking chance.
We all stay in the pool, each taking turns with Baz and swimming around on the warm day. I finally start to relax and enjoy our time together.
When Sawyer has Baz, Viv swims over to me, treading water, and I try my best not to stare at her chest when she starts a conversation. “Your mom sent a text when I was shopping.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. She wants us to come to dinner Wednesday night. I told her that Baz and I will be there. You think you’ll go this time?”
It’s hard for me to be around my mother. Most people see Nora as a saint. And don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, but we have a complicated relationship. She grieved hard when Colt died, as any mother would. But I got the feeling she wanted me to magically turn into him. I was the only one left, and he was her golden child.
“I don’t know.”
“She misses you.” Viv leans her head back, making my eyes widen and my dick twitch as she wets her hair and pushes her full tits upward. I’m sure it’s an innocent move on her part, totally unaware of leering eyes, but holy fuck. She wrings her hair out when she rights herself, and I struggle to concentrate.
“I miss her too, but I have a test this week and need to study.”
She quirks an eyebrow like she doesn’t believe me, and I can’t blame her. “You have a test already?”
“Yup. Fucking algebra.”
Her arms tread the water, and Baz calls for her, gaining her attention right away. “Okay. Well, think about it. Hopefully, you can work it into your schedule.”
She swims over to get Baz, and I climb out of the pool, not able to be that close to her wearing that bikini any longer. Sawyer follows soon after, joining me in the lounge chair to my left. “Holy shit.” Viv is swimming with Baz on the opposite side of the pool as Sawyer shakes his head at me, appreciating Viv way too much. “Who the hell knew she was hiding that body under there?”
“Suddenly feeling nice toward Viv, huh?” Prick.
He laughs and leans back in his chair. “How the fuck could I not? Holy shit. I mean, I always thought she was pretty, but dayum.”
“Stop looking at her like that before I remove your fucking eyes.”
He’s totally unbothered by my threat, his eyes still glued to Viv. “She’s loosened up a bit since high school.”
“Did you ever even talk to her in high school?”
“Once.” He laughs, tucking an arm under his head. People assume Sawyer and I are exactly alike. It’s why we’ve always gotten along. Both rich, spoiled pretty boys used to getting what we want. Fucking around, never taking life seriously. And on paper, that is us. But unlike Sawyer, shit tends to eat at me. This motherfucker, nothing bothers him. Like nothing. “At that party she got knocked up at.”
I sit up in my chair and face him. “What?”
He laughs, either not registering my tone or not giving a fuck, but I’m on edge. “Yeah. It was that fucking bigass party at Taylor’s house like a month before prom. You were there too, asshole.”
“No, I fucking wasn’t. How do you know that’s the one? We went to a lot of parties.”
“We did. They didn’t.” He shrugs. “When you told me about everything, I didn’t think anything of it, but then I put it all together. I remember seeing Vivienne talking to Colt. I thought it was you at first, but then I saw it was Colt. You fuckers all looked alike.”
I shake my head. “I wasn’t fucking there. If I saw Colt at a party, I would have remembered it.” And I would have told him to go the fuck home. I knew Colt was struggling before he died. Our father is a whole new level of asshole,
always messing with Colt’s head, but I still never saw all the self-destruction coming. If I would have seen him at a party without his girl, drinking and about to make a huge mistake, surely I would have said something.
Colt never went to parties. I went to a lot. It would have stuck out to me, and I’ve racked my brain trying to remember him or Viv at any of them and came up blank.
“You were pretty fucked-up that night, and I don’t think he was there that long. I was pretty fucked-up myself that night, but I’m almost positive. Anyway, when Viv first got there, I couldn’t believe the Ice Queen was making an appearance at an actual party and said it out loud to her.”
“Guessing that didn’t go over well.”
I glance over at Viv briefly and see her letting Baz swim on his stomach as she holds him and look back at Sawyer as he laughs. “Nope. She wanted nothing to do with me.”
“Is that why you give her such a hard time now?”
He shakes his head, his grin irritating me. “I don’t give her a hard time. You know me, I’m just not a fan of uptight prisses, which is what I thought she was.”
I stare at him, cold and unwavering, “Keep thinking that.”
I don’t like his use of present tense. Viv does not need to be on his radar. “I don’t know, man. I like this version of Vivienne Crenshaw.”
I lay back in my chair and try a breathing technique so I don’t strangle my friend. “She’s off-limits.”
“Come on . . .”
I turn to look at him, cutting him off. “She’s off-limits.” He rolls his eyes and tips his head up toward the sun, and I do the same, closing my eyes. “You saw Colt that night?”
“Briefly, man. He didn’t look like himself, and then I went upstairs with Monica. It seemed so insignificant at the time, but it all kind of clicked.”
“Why are you just now telling me?”
His shoulders shrug. “What does it matter? It happened. His awesome kid is here because of that night. He’s not. I didn’t think it mattered.”
I guess it doesn’t. At least it shouldn’t. He’s right. It’s not like anything can be done now, not that I would want Baz not to be here. I can’t imagine life without that kid, but that night definitely sent us all down a very different path.
I was at the party where Colt cheated on Penelope with Viv, where they made Baz. And I had no fucking idea something so lifechanging was happening because I was so lost in my own world.
“Oh, I’m so happy you guys came to dinner.” Nora gives me a big hug after I finish buckling Baz into his car seat. I can tell he’s half asleep already.
She gives him a kiss, and I close the door as we walk to the driver’s side. “Thank you for inviting us. I love your cooking.”
She smiles. “You know, I didn’t want to mention it in front of Sebastian, and you can definitely say no.” I smile back at her, encouraging her to continue. “I was wondering if maybe Sebastian could stay the night with me some weekend? You can say no, it won’t hurt my feelings.”
I instinctively look into the backseat and back at Nora. “I’ve never done that before.”
She nods. “And I know you may not be ready, and that’s perfectly fine. I just thought I’d offer.”
“Thank you so much. I’ll think about it if that’s okay?”
“Of course. Just anytime. My schedule is pretty open these days. I thought maybe you would like a night off with some wine and a book. Maybe even a date with a nice young man.”
I told her what a disaster my date was, but she’s convinced the right guy will come calling soon. Her words, not mine. “That is tempting.”
“And if Sebastian wants you at any time, I’ll bring him right to you. That I promise.”
There’s really no one on this planet I trust more than Nora. I play with my car keys and tuck my hair behind my ear. “You know, it sounds nice. I’ll probably take you up on that.”
She smiles and gives me another hug. “Drive safe.”
“Thank you again for dinner.”
“Anytime.”
We say our good-byes, and I make the trip back to Lawrence, pulling into the garage, noticing a car parked out on the street that I don’t recognize. It’s not Sawyer’s black BMW. I walk to the back door, opening and pulling my sleeping Sebastian into my arms.
He stirs and lifts his head from my shoulder as I shut the door. “Hi, Mommy.”
He giggles, and I shake my head. Oh no. He’s not going back to sleep for a bit and waking him up in the morning is going to be a bitch. “Hi, sweetheart. Let’s get you to bed.”
I open up the door from the garage that goes into the kitchen and walk inside carrying Baz, making our way to the living room.
“Mommy! She’s naked!”
Oh my God. The girl my son is talking about isn’t exactly naked, but she’s straddling Asher’s lap and does have her shirt off. Thank God she’s still wearing her bra as she sticks her tongue down Ash’s throat. He pulls away from her, and I cover Baz’s eyes as he lifts her off his lap. “Viv. Baz. You guys are home early.”
The girl turns around, showing off her lacy red bra and is all attitude while she stares me down. “What the hell? You have a kid?”
Asher shakes his head and tosses her shirt to her. “No. He’s my nephew. Get dressed.”
I roll my eyes and carry Sebastian toward the stairs, fury flowing through my body as I try not to kill him and keep Baz’s face tucked against my shoulder.
I hear the girl’s whine as we head up the stairs. “Are you kidding? You’re kicking me out? We just got started.”
“Ugh.” I slam Sebastian’s door behind us as I carry him into his room and straight to his bed.
“Mommy, I saw her boobs,” he giggles.
Oh that’s just great, Asher. “Not exactly. She was partially covered.”
I pull his shirt off and tug his little jeans down, searching his dresser drawer for his pajamas as he lays on his back and giggles, “I saw her boobies.”
I’m going to kill Asher. “Stop laughing, silly.” I grab his Paw Patrol pajamas and pull them on him as he struggles with impressive strength, giving me hell, as usual. The kid does not like bedtime.
“Who is she, Mommy?”
I finally get him dressed and tucked into his bed and kneel on the floor next to him. “I don’t know. Uncle Asher’s friend.”
“Why was she on him?”
Good question. Not one a three-year-old should have to ask. “I guess she just really likes him.”
He giggles again, “I had fun today.”
I smile and kiss his head. “I did too. Will you please do Mommy a favor and go to sleep easily tonight?”
“I easy.” He looks offended, and I laugh.
“I know, honey.”
He giggles, “I not honey.”
Yeah, he’s wound up. I grab a book and read it to him and then another until he finally passes out, and I quietly sneak out of his room.
I barely make it to my room when I see Asher coming up the stairs. “Oh no.” I hold up a finger, directing him away from me and keeping my voice low.”
“Viv, let me explain.”
I shake my head and shush him, pointing to Sebastian’s room as I whisper angrily at him, “Don’t bother. Baz is asleep. I’m going to bed.”
I turn away from him and go into my room, surprised when he follows me and closes the door behind him.
“Excuse me, what the hell are you doing?”
“We’re going to talk about this. We live together, Viv. I’m not letting you walk around here pissed-off at me for days until you finally let me explain.”
I roll my eyes and kick off my shoes as I sit on my bed, crossing my legs at the ankles and gesture in front of my body for him to go on. “Please, explain.” Before he speaks, my anger gets the best of me and I climb off the bed and walk closer to him. “Explain to me why a half-naked girl was on your lap in the living room and not in your bedroom?”
“Please, if anything she was only
a quarter-naked.”
“You think you’re funny?” I fold my arms, pissed-off beyond belief. “I have what, two rules? That’s it. And you can’t follow that one?’
“It wasn’t what it looked like.”
“Jesus, Asher I haven’t had sex for a long time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what it looks like, and that’s exactly where you were headed.”
His eyes darken, and his jawline hardens as he takes a step closer to me, his head dipping down so I have to look him in the eyes. “Is that why you’re so fucking mad, Viv? Huh?”
I drop my arms to my sides and tip my chin up, not looking away. “What are you talking about?”
His pouty lips are way too close to mine, his cologne invading my senses as he studies me intensely. “I think you’re pissed that some random girl was on my lap tonight because you wanted it to be you.”
I scoff, but the heat rising to my cheeks is inevitable. “You have some balls.”
“I do.” His gaze does wild things to my body, and I don’t like it. I can feel my nipples pebbling under my bra, standing at full attention. “Admit it. You’re just pissed-off because I won’t fuck you.”
He’s changed in the mere weeks we’ve lived together. I can’t place it. I don’t know how to describe it really, but that dark edge Nora told me about is creeping its way to the surface. “I’m pissed, because I had two rules, Asher. Two. No parties and no girls out in the open where my son can get an eyeful. I never wanted to know about the first time my son saw his first pair of unrelated breasts, but I certainly didn’t think he would only be three.”
“She had her fucking bra on. Relax.”
“No.”
He laughs, but it’s not his normal laugh, it’s angry and cold. “Of course. I forgot who I was talking to.”
“What the hell is your problem?”
He walks past me, and the asshole actually takes a seat on my bed. I watch him as he smooths his hand over the stubble on his cheek and chin, then drops his hand. “I’m sorry, okay. I didn’t bring her here to sleep with her.”
I roll my eyes and fold my arms over my chest again, annoyed by my own body for being weak and attracted to him, hoping he doesn’t notice my nipples through my sheer, light pink blouse. “Right. I suppose you were just studying.”
