Restrictions

by Nicole Dykes

  I feel the fire coming from Ash, and I step away, not wanting to get wrapped up in this testosterone challenge. Sawyer isn’t interested in me. He hit on me once at the party I went to that changed my life, but he was already pretty wasted, and I could have been anyone for him to do that. He’s messing with Asher. Why? I have no idea.

  After the party, Sawyer, Baz, and Asher drag me all over our side of town, using Baz’s cuteness to collect more candy than I’ll ever allow him to eat. By the time we end up back at the house, Baz is completely and utterly exhausted.

  After I tuck him in, I go downstairs to find Asher closing the front door. “Sawyer already left?”

  Asher nods, having already taken off the tin hat but still in the rest of his costume. “Yeah, there’s a party near campus.”

  “You didn’t want to go?”

  He studies me, walking to where I’m standing and placing his hands on my hips. “I have a date with Dorothy.”

  I smile, but his eyes darken, and he clears his throat as he releases me and steps back. “Should we go to my room?”

  “Did the word ‘date’ freak you out?”

  He huffs, running his fingers through his thick hair. “Don’t give me shit tonight, Viv.”

  “Isn’t that what we do?”

  He cocks his head to the left, clearly not in the best mood, heading toward the stairs. “Maybe we should call it a night.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I place my hand on my hip, not running after him but wanting him to stay, to turn around and look at me.

  I’m relieved when he does, but then I see the brutal conflict on his face. “No. I’m not. We aren’t fucking dating.”

  “Wow.”

  “Wow? That’s it?”

  I’m sick of the hot and cold. “You know what, Asher, I have a toddler, I don’t need another one.” I turn away from him and start toward the stairs, but that got his attention as he passes me to stand in front of me.

  “I’m not a fucking toddler. I think you know by now I’m a man.”

  I point down the stairs. “In your bed, yes. Everywhere else, no.” I push past him, and he grabs my wrist. I pull a frustrated breath through my lungs as I look him in the eyes. “What?”

  “I never said I wasn’t a dick.”

  “No. You didn’t.” I pull out of his loose grip and lean into him, reaching his ear, trying to ignore how good he smells and barely noticing the silver paint on his face and red on his lips. “If you want to be in my bed, you can’t treat me like shit whenever you want.” I nip his lobe with my teeth. “You want to be a broody, angry asshole and take out your frustration and pain on me, do it in the bedroom only.”

  My eyes meet his as his hands grip my ass, pulling my body flush to his as he looks deep into my eyes, and I swear they want to tell me whatever it is he’s holding back. The pain and torture I see there threatens to break me.

  I know he misses Colt. I know he felt forgotten when he died, and I think part of him feels responsible for his death, but he doesn’t say it.

  Not outright.

  “You don’t deserve to be punished.”

  “We’re all sinners.”

  “To me, you’re a saint.”

  I remove his right hand from my hip and take it, leading him toward the downstairs.

  “You think I’m so pure, . . .” I toss a took over my shoulder, “corrupt me.”

  I swear he actually gulps as I smile and lead him downstairs to his room.

  Whatever he won’t say haunts him.

  And something inside me is screaming that I have to soothe his restless spirit.

  I fucking hate Sawyer right now. He’s been in my fucking head all night, telling me that offering to get Viv a jacket was a boyfriend gesture.

  Fuck him.

  Actually . . . fuck her. That’s what you’re supposed to be doing, dipshit.

  Her fingers grasp my hair as I kiss her plump lips, pressing her against the wall of my bedroom, my cock pressed between her legs in this fucking ridiculous costume.

  She looks insanely hot in hers. I know she doesn’t think she does, but holy shit. I guess I do have a Dorothy fantasy. I can’t get enough of her, but I also can’t seem to get out of my fucking head.

  I’m gonna nut-punch Sawyer next time I see him.

  Viv grips my face in her hands, pulling out of our kiss and looking into my eyes. “Be here with me. Nothing else matters.”

  Corrupt me.

  I’m not like Linc and Penelope. I don’t have any deep dark secrets I’m hiding like they did. I fucking hate that Colt died and I did nothing about it, but that’s pretty much out there. I know without a doubt, I shouldn’t be fucking Vivienne when she’s the mother of Colt’s kid, but she knows that too. I watched my mother deconstruct, and I tried to be like Colt for her. Viv knows everything about me, but she doesn’t know me.

  She thinks there’s good inside me.

  She doesn’t realize how numb I am, how fucking frustrated I am by my own existence.

  I unzip her dress slowly, my eyes staying on hers the entire time as she shrugs out of the capped sleeves and the dress slides to her stomach.

  That I don’t even know myself, so there’s no way in hell anyone else can.

  I push the dress down over her slightly flared hips and let it fall to the floor as I find the hooks on her bra and undo them with ease, still looking into her eyes.

  That I don’t want to fucking talk about anything because the thought of getting close to anyone terrifies me to my core.

  As I remove her bra, her hand grabs mine, her gaze never faltering. “No.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “What? I’ve seen you naked. Now’s not the time to be shy.”

  She drops my hands and pulls the bra off, then pushes her panties down, leaving her in only blue socks and red glittery shoes. “Do not zone out. Don’t just go through the motions.”

  My heart thunders in my chest at her words, not liking that she’s calling me out. Her hand shoves my chest and moves me backward, and she does it again, pushing me toward the bed as she follows. Her fingers sliding the zipper of the silver jumpsuit down as she slides it over my shoulders, taking control. Which I’m not used to.

  I’m always the one in control.

  “I see you, Asher.” She slides the jumpsuit down, her hardened nipples scraping my chest and down my front as she moves down, waiting for me to kick my shoes off and step out of the jumpsuit entirely.

  She stays kneeled before me, her lips in a pout as she looks up at me.

  “You don’t want to talk? Fine.”

  Her fingers find the hem of my briefs, pulling them down over my ass first and then tugging the front to allow my cock to spring free. Then she pulls them down over my calves so I can step out of them too.

  I watch her in a daze as her hand grips the base of my cock. “You’re afraid of too much intimacy? I get it.”

  Holy. Shit.

  Her tongue darts out and she licks just the tip, causing my hips to jerk forward, my dick begging for more.

  She peers up, showing me the less wholesome and the more carnal side of her as she takes me in her mouth. My dick presses against the back of her throat before she pulls back a bit, letting her tongue slide along the shaft as she removes her mouth again, making me groan.

  “Don’t treat me like I’m breakable or like I can’t handle you. I can.”

  I nod as her hand strokes me up and down and her mouth meets the tip again. Her tongue finds the tip, teasing me as her hand wraps around my cock.

  Her warm mouth feels incredible, mixed with the pressure and stroke of her grip and as badly as I want to come, I want control more.

  I grab under her arms and pull her off my dick and up to me, her eyes locking on mine, fury behind them, her breathing rapid.

  “You can’t handle me.”

  Her fingernails scrape against my chest as she pulls them down from pec to my abs, not drawing blood, but leaving marks. “Try. Me.”

  I grasp he
r hips spinning us so I’m now facing the bed as my lips find the crook of her neck, sucking with just enough pressure to elicit a moan from deep within her throat. “You don’t see me. No one does.”

  Her nails dig into my biceps as she leans her head back, granting my hungry mouth better access. “I. Do.”

  I don’t want that to be true.

  My teeth nip at her skin and down over her chest, popping a hardened nipple into my mouth as I vigorously suck and bite, pulling a quick yelp from her, but she doesn’t push me away.

  “Take it out on me, Asher.” Her nails continue their penetrating hold in my arms as I move back to her lips, punishing them with an unyielding kiss. Her hands slide to my back, clawing me as they go, and her kiss is just as brutal.

  I’ve never wanted anyone so fucking bad.

  I guide her body down onto my bed, her head finding the pillow as I slide between her legs. I grab her hands, my fingers lacing with hers. I press her much smaller hands to the bed and my lips find her neck again.

  Her hands try to pull away, but my hold is firm as my lips move back to hers.

  “We aren’t a couple.”

  She parts her thighs looking up at me. “Do you need me to say that again before you fuck me?”

  I swallow hard as I look into her defiant gaze. “It’s fucking confusing. Talking about feelings and shit. Real things. Taking care of Baz. I don’t want to confuse things.”

  “I’m not confused.” She looks confident and sure.

  “Things can get complicated real fast.”

  “Not with us.” Her hips move forward just enough to brush my cock over the wetness between her thighs. I groan, my body revolting as my mouth won’t shut the fuck up.

  “I won’t get lost in you.”

  Her fingers grip mine tighter as her hands stay beneath mine. “I think you’re already hooked.”

  Please don’t let that be true.

  I thrust into her, her head tipping back as my face sinks into the crook of her neck. I pull back, my hips thrusting forward again, punishing her for implying I’m already too far gone.

  I hold her hands hostage, my lips finding hers, swallowing her cries of pleasure as I move inside of her with vigor while she allows me to have the control I need.

  Every time I slam into her, I’m met with her hips, rolling with acceptance, taking my fury. Taking my pain. Taking every inch of my anguish.

  Her teeth bite my bottom lip as she kisses me, giving the abuse back to me, only making me hotter as I move inside her.

  “Fuck, Viv.”

  “Asher,” she gasps my name as her teeth find my shoulder and sink into it. My grip intensifies on her hands, pressing them into my mattress.

  “Come on my cock.”

  Her legs wrap around my ass, forcing my cock even deeper inside as she takes every bit of me inside her, squeezing around my dick with her tight pussy. I dip to her perky tits, my teeth clenching around her nipple and sending her over the edge. Her legs wrap tightly around me, and her core grips me like a vice, milking hot spurts of cum from me.

  Her body moves with mine as we ride wave after wave of our powerful orgasms. When I release her hands and move to pull out of her, her fingers dig into my ass as she holds me there, refusing to let go.

  “Viv.”

  “You’re not in love with me. We aren’t a couple. I get it. I don’t need to hear it over and over and over again. What do you want me to do to make you believe that?”

  “I’m terrified you’re going to get it all confused. It’s natural, but I’m not the guy you want or need in your life.”

  “You’re Asher. I do need you in my life but not in that way.”

  My lips dip down to hers but don’t kiss them. “Tell me you’re not in love with me.”

  “What?” Her lips part in surprise as she whispers the question against my mouth.

  “You said I’m not in love with you.” I brace my weight with one hand and move the other between her breasts and over her heart. “Tell me that you’re not in love with me.”

  I watch her swallow and feel her take a deep breath. “I’m not in love with you.”

  Do I believe her?

  “Do not try to figure me out. I’ve told you everything. There isn’t anything deeper.”

  “Then why won’t you talk to me about Colt?”

  I roll over, pulling out of her and settling her into straddling my lap, liking the view of her perfect tits as she rests her hands on my shoulders. “Because I don’t talk about him.”

  “You should. You should talk to someone.”

  “This is exactly what I’m talking about, I’m not discussing it. Or my mom. Or anything. You and me? We can talk about school or Sebastian. That’s fine.”

  “Setting more rules?”

  She quirks an eyebrow, looking down at me in challenge, and I look up at her with the same defiance. “Yeah. Necessary rules.”

  “Because of Sawyer?”

  “Because he’s right. This is a terrible idea, but you’re also right.” She looks confused, and I clarify. “I am hooked.”

  My hand slides down her stomach and between her legs, finding her clit and making her head fall back.

  “This pussy fucking owns me.”

  Her hips move forward as I slide from her clit and into her, the wetness there a mixture of her arousal and my cum. I move back to her clit, pinching it between my thumb and finger.

  “It’s yours for now.”

  I smile when she says “for now.” Not because I don’t want it forever, but because she’s acknowledging this isn’t permanent.

  That it can’t be.

  “I’ll ruin you.”

  Her voice reaches a higher pitch as I play with her clit, her hips thrusting forward, making her tits bounce in my view, making my dick hard all over again. “I’m already wrecked.”

  I guide my cock inside her as she rides me, and we continue the vicious cycle.

  A cycle I have no idea how I’m going to break, but I know one thing—when I do, it will be irreparable.

  “I’m an airplane!” I laugh as I hold Baz above my head and fly him around the living room. Viv walks in, toys in hand probably from other areas of the house, and she tosses them into the cloth basket where she stores toys in here.

  “You know it’s bedtime?”

  Baz pouts and shakes his head, still in my arms. “No. I airplane.”

  Viv sighs, tilting her head with a smile, looking at me for support. I lower Baz to the ground, letting his little feet plant on the carpet. “Come on, airplane. Time to go get washed up.”

  He grabs my hand. “You do it.”

  I look over to Viv, asking for silent permission, and she nods. I take him upstairs and give him a bath before changing him into pajamas and tucking him in.

  Viv comes upstairs, and we both put him to bed. I try like hell not to obsess about how much it feels like we’re a couple.

  I feel everything getting hazy. Being an uncle to Baz, a friend to Viv, a casual fuck for Viv, a grieving brother who wants to be here for the family he left behind. It’s all getting blurred, and lines are being crossed.

  And still . . . I don’t tell Viv I want to stop.

  Because I don’t want to.

  We sneak downstairs and sit on the sofa in the living room, her legs over my lap, completely comfortable with one another. “I have to talk to you.”

  Shit. Fuck.

  Is this the part where she wants to be a real couple? That she has feelings for me? Is this where I break her?

  I lean over and nibble on her neck, trying to hide my fear. “I thought we said no more talking.”

  She pushes me back, her hand staying on my chest. “Relax. We need to talk about Thanksgiving.”

  Relief washes over me, and I settle back into the couch, propping my feet up on the coffee table. “Football and turkey? Okay.”

  She laughs, and it’s beautiful. “Your mom called me this morning. She isn’t hosting this year.”

&nb
sp; That’s weird. My mom loves the holidays. At least that was always the show she put on. “She isn’t?”

  I turn to look at Viv, who shakes her head slowly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “No. Penelope and Lincoln are.”

  Bile rises, and I feel like I’m going to be sick, but I stay still, looking at Viv’s pretty face. “Why?”

  “I don’t know really.” Clearly, I’m not doing a good job appearing to be calm because she pulls her legs off of my lap and pulls them to her chest, looking at me. “She didn’t say. Just said they were having it at their house in California.”

  “I’m not going.”

  “Asher . . .”

  I stand up and start toward the stairs, not wanting to talk about it, begging her not to follow me. But she’s a pain in the ass, so, of course, she does, stopping me before I even reach the first step, grabbing my arm and turning me toward her. “Talk to me.”

  My jaw ticks and my heart races. “I’m not going all the way to California to watch Linc and Penelope act like the fucking perfect couple.”

  “I don’t think that’s what they’re trying to do.”

  “No? Thanksgiving? Really?”

  “Why are you so angry?” I know she doesn’t understand. She can’t.

  “I’m going to bed. I’m not going, though.”

  I can see her getting frustrated, and I don’t blame her. She’s right, if I want to be inside her, I should respect her enough not to be a dick. But I’m a fucking dick by nature, so it isn’t easy. “Sebastian and I are going. Nora and Tony are going. Lola will be there. Your whole family will be there.”

  “Not everyone.”

  Her eyes show understanding, and I flee because I don’t want to do this. I fly down the stairs, angry and pissed-off at the thought of Penelope and Linc playing house in their perfect little world.

  Everyone sitting around the table saying what they’re grateful for. All pretending like Colt never existed. No.

  I reach my room, stripping out of my shirt and jeans and finding my black shorts, pulling them on just as Vivienne stands in my doorway. Her arms are folded as she leans against the doorframe. “I’m sorry.”

  What? I stare at her, dumbfounded. “Why are you sorry?”