Two Steps Forward

by Luana Ehrlich

  That scenario was the stuff of future nightmares.

  I admit I was a little paranoid about this.

  But I completely understood why Nikki wanted photographs of us with my relatives.

  A few months ago, when Nikki and I had flown up to Flint for Thanksgiving, they’d adopted her as one of their own, especially my sister, Carla, who’d insisted on helping Nikki plan the wedding down to the last detail, including the mints for the wedding reception.

  Yesterday, when I’d asked Carla why we were serving mints at the reception when all our guests could eat wedding cake, she’d given me the same look my mother had given me when I was sixteen, and I’d asked her why I was required to hold the door open for her.

  I’d never forgotten that look, and after seeing that same look on Carla’s face yesterday, I’d stopped asking questions about the wedding.

  Instead, I’d made up my mind to concentrate on the assignment Pastor Moore had given me—namely, to be dressed and at the church by one o’clock.

  Assuming I was able to accomplish that assignment, I’d have to figure out how to complete the assignment Carlton had given me—to find a place where we could meet in private during the reception so he could brief me on the Arab Summit.

  In between those assignments, I planned to marry Nikki Saxon.

  Chapter 3

  Saturday, May 11

  When I pulled my Range Rover into the parking lot of Bethel Church at twelve fifty-two, I spotted Danny Jarrar just getting out of his Ford pickup.

  A few months ago, I’d asked Danny, a former CIA operative, to be my best man. The two of us had worked together on several different missions until he’d decided to leave the Agency and go to work for the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation (OSBI) as their counterterrorism director.

  His wife, Michelle, was from Oklahoma, and when they were about to have their first child, she’d asked him to choose a different career, or at least one that wouldn’t take him out of the country all the time, so he’d gone to work for OSBI.

  Although Danny and I had lost touch with each other after he’d left the Agency, we’d renewed our acquaintance last year when the Agency had asked him to find me a safe house in Norman.

  Since then, Nikki and Michelle had become good friends, and when Eleanor had come to live with us back in December, it hadn’t been long before Danny’s eight-year-old daughter, Bella, had started having sleepovers with Eleanor.

  After we’d announced our honeymoon plans, Danny and Michelle had offered to keep Eleanor for us while we were gone. At that time, we’d declined their offer because we thought Eleanor would be living with her grandmother by the time our wedding day arrived.

  But then, a few weeks ago, when we realized Eleanor wasn’t going to be reunited with her grandmother before we left for our honeymoon, we’d accepted their offer.

  Eleanor had been more than a little excited when we’d told her she could have a two-week sleepover with Bella. However, it wasn’t long before I realized our plans to have her stay with Danny and Michelle had caused her anxiety issues to flare up again.

  When I’d picked her up from school one day last week, she’d barely gotten her seatbelt on before she said, “We should talk about Stormy.”

  “What about Stormy?”

  “He’s going to be very sad when you go away for two weeks.”

  When I saw the serious look on her face, I tried not to smile.

  “I’m sure that’s true, but when Nikki and I have to go out of town, Stormy loves to stay with Nikki’s captain. I bet you didn’t know he lives on a farm and has two dogs of his own.”

  “Yes, I knew that, but I still think Stormy would be happier if he stayed with me at Bella’s house.”

  “What makes you think that?”

  “Because Stormy feels safe when he’s with me. He likes for me to hold him and tell him everything’s going to be okay when he gets scared.”

  I was afraid she might hear the catch in my voice, so I didn’t say anything for a moment.

  Once I’d composed myself, I said, “You know, Eleanor, I’ve noticed that too, and I think you’re right. Stormy should definitely stay with you at Bella’s house while we’re gone. I’m sure he’d feel a lot safer with you around.”

  I called Danny that same afternoon and asked if he’d mind if Stormy stayed with Eleanor at his house while we were gone.

  After Danny joked with me about not being able to feed Stormy on his salary and claiming his Pomeranian might be too much for Stormy to handle, he’d agreed to keep both Eleanor and Stormy at his house.

  Later, I had a long talk with Stormy about the difference between a Pomeranian and a squirrel.

  I wasn’t sure he heard me.

  * * * *

  Danny was talking on his cell phone when he got out of his truck, but he still managed to give me a wave, while grabbing his tuxedo jacket and using his key fob to lock his door.

  After much discussion between Nikki and Carla about what type of wedding tuxedo the guys should wear, Nikki had surprised me by choosing a simple black suit with no vest and no bowtie.

  However, the tuxedo ensemble for me and my three groomsmen—my nephew, Brian, my brother-in-law, Eddie, and my best man, Danny—consisted of a mandatory black cummerbund, a pleated white shirt, and a mint-green tie.

  When I’d questioned Nikki about the mint-green tie, she’d informed me mint-green was her favorite color, and it was also the color of her bridesmaids’ dresses.

  Once I heard that, I knew the discussion was over.

  Nikki had chosen her college roommate as her maid of honor, and her bridesmaids were two of her friends she’d known since grade school.

  She’d decided to ask my Uncle Harold to walk her down the aisle, which made me a little nervous since he was already exhibiting signs of dementia, but she’d insisted she could handle his forgetfulness.

  Eleanor was our flower girl, and as far as I could tell, the only concession Nikki had made in the wedding attire was to allow Eleanor to change the mint-green ribbon in her hair for a pink one, which happened to be Eleanor’s favorite color.

  “Hey, you’re looking good,” Danny said, slipping his phone in his pocket. “Did you get any sleep last night?”

  “Slept like a baby. No problem.”

  “Did I ever tell you about the night before my wedding? Man was I nervous. I couldn’t get to sleep, so I went out to Lake—”

  “Yeah, you mentioned that,” I said, as we entered the church lobby. “I was expecting a call from Douglas last night, otherwise I would have been in bed a lot earlier.”

  “Did you learn anything new about Lisa Redding?”

  “Douglas got in touch with a colleague in Shin Bet who found an address for her. He said he might have more information for me today.”

  “Is Douglas coming to the wedding?”

  I looked down at my watch. “His plane should be landing about now.”

  Danny glanced around the lobby. “Do you know where we’re going?”

  “We’re supposed to meet Pastor Moore in Room 101.” I pointed off to my right. “It’s down this hallway across from the auditorium.”

  As we headed in that direction, he asked, “What do you think Pastor Moore will say about us being thirty minutes late?”

  “We’re not thirty minutes late, Danny. We’re right on time.”

  “He said we should be here at twelve-thirty.”

  “Twelve-thirty? Don’t tell me that. I thought he said one o’clock.”

  Danny grinned. “I was just kidding. He did say one o’clock.”

  “What kind of best man are you? For a second, I thought I’d totally blown it.”

  He laughed and slapped me on the back. “Yeah, the expression on your face reminded me of how you looked when we were late to that courier appointment in Beirut—absolutely terrified.”

  “You’re wrong. I wasn’t terrified then, and I’m not terrified now.”

  “Admit it, Titus. You’re nervous
. I bet you’re as nervous as I was when I was about to get married.”

  I stopped in the hallway outside Room 101. “Okay, I admit it. I’m feeling a little apprehensive, but it’s only because I want this day to be perfect for Nikki.”

  “Are you kidding? Where’s the fun in that?”

  * * * *

  When it was all over, I couldn’t remember very much about the first half of the wedding ceremony. Although I had some images in my head, they were all blurry, like I was seeing everything through a pair of broken field glasses.

  I could vaguely recall following Pastor Moore into the church sanctuary while the church organist was playing a slow song. Trailing behind me were Danny, Brian, and Eddie, and all of us managed to ascend the steps to the stage without making a fool of ourselves.

  However, when we turned and faced the crowd, I wondered if the mint-green ties around our necks made us all look ridiculous.

  Then, I changed my mind when I saw the bridesmaids in their flowing mint-green gowns begin making their way down the center aisle of the church carrying cream-colored flower bouquets.

  All the ladies looked stunning as they ascended the stage, and once they positioned themselves opposite the groomsmen, forming a semi-circle around the minister, I realized the wedding party must have looked quite beautiful to the members of the audience.

  I felt sure it looked exactly the way Nikki had envisioned it.

  As we all waited for the bride to make her entrance, I scanned the faces of the wedding guests seated in the pews.

  It was hard to miss my sister’s beaming face, or my niece Kayla, who was next to her taking a video of the wedding party with her cell phone. When I spotted my Aunt Dorothy, Uncle Harold’s wife, she timidly lifted her hand and gave me a small wave.

  I winked at her.

  Michelle and Bella were seated across the aisle from them, surrounded by members of the Norman Police Department, some of whom were wearing their uniforms, while others had on civilian clothes. Nikki’s captain was there along with his wife.

  I assumed the rest of the guests filling up the pews were Nikki’s friends from the Faith Community Church or from her college days. I didn’t know any of them.

  Except for one.

  Seated next to the aisle in the very middle of the auditorium was Douglas Carlton. For a moment, I was startled to see him, even though I knew he was coming.

  Our eyes met.

  He gave me a slight nod.

  I nodded back.

  As if the acknowledgement of Carlton’s presence was her cue, the organist suddenly hit a loud chord, and within seconds, Eleanor appeared out of nowhere carrying a white wicker basket full of roses, gracefully dropping the petals on either side of her as she proceeded down the aisle.

  Eleanor was so intent on her task, she never looked at me until she reached the bottom of the stairs. At that point, she raised her head and gave me a big smile.

  As discreetly as possible, I gave her a thumbs up.

  * * * *

  During the rehearsal the day before, Eleanor hadn’t shown any enthusiasm about participating in the wedding, and just before the rehearsal started, she’d announced she didn’t want to be a flower girl.

  Since I knew Nikki was counting on her, I’d immediately taken her out to the foyer so the two of us could have a private talk.

  “What’s the problem?” I asked.

  “I don’t like doing silly stuff.”

  “Okay, I’m with you there. Could you expand on that; maybe give me a little more information?”

  “I feel silly throwing flowers out of a basket. What’s the point?”

  “The point is Nikki wanted a beautiful young lady to walk down the aisle in front of her and drop flowers along the way so she’d feel special on her wedding day. The point is she chose you to be that beautiful young lady. The point is she’s given you an honor she hasn’t given to anyone else. Personally, I don’t think that’s silly.”

  Eleanor looked up at me with her big blue eyes and said, “You’re right, that’s not silly. I really want Nikki to feel special tomorrow.”

  “Give me an idea of how you plan to make that happen.”

  She smiled. “I’ll carry a silly basket and drop flowers on the floor.”

  I gave her a hug. “And I know you’ll do a fantastic job.”

  “I’ll tell you a secret if you won’t tell Nikki I told you.”

  “You have my word.”

  “When Nikki showed me her wedding dress, she told me she’d chosen it because she wanted you to feel special when you saw her walking down the aisle tomorrow. Don’t tell her I told you.”

  “Believe me, I can keep a secret.”

  * * * *

  Now, as Eleanor climbed the steps and took her place beside the bridesmaids, Pastor Moore motioned for the audience to stand.

  Within seconds, everyone’s attention shifted from the center of the stage to a set of double doors at the back of the auditorium.

  Up to this point, the ceremony had moved at a rapid pace.

  Now, it seemed to take forever before the doors swung open.

  When they finally did, and I saw Nikki standing there holding onto Uncle Harold’s arm, I desperately wanted time to stand still.

  I wanted to savor the moment forever.

  I wanted it seared in my brain for eternity.

  It would have been an understatement to say I felt special at that moment. However, it wasn’t the way Nikki looked in her wedding dress that made me feel special—although she looked absolutely gorgeous—it was the way she smiled at me as she made her way down the aisle.

  At that point in the ceremony, I had a kind of revelation, an epiphany of sorts. I realized marrying Nikki was God’s plan for me all along.

  He had brought us together. Our love for each other was a gift from him. It was his way of showing us how much he loved us.

  I had no doubt about it.

  * * * *

  A few months ago, I couldn’t have imagined myself formulating such a concept, much less acknowledging the validity of it.

  Now, however, as I watched Nikki walking down the aisle toward me, I knew it was true, because a year ago, when I was living in a safe house in Tehran, an Iranian Christian named Javad had shown me passages from the Bible that spelled out God’s love for me.

  Later, those passages had led me to make a commitment of faith to follow Christ and his teachings. Since then, I’d gradually come to understand more about his incredible love for me, and all the different ways he demonstrates it every day.

  The fact that Nikki had fallen love with me and wanted to be my wife was a perfect example of his love.

  After Nikki ascended the stairs to the stage and took her place beside me in front of the minister, I reached over and took her hand.

  As we repeated our vows to each other, I prayed I’d be able to make her happy.

  A few minutes later, I realized a big part of making Nikki happy was including her in my decisions.

  Chapter 4

  As the wedding party was exiting the auditorium, the minister stepped to the pulpit and invited the guests to stay for the reception being held in the church’s fellowship hall.

  He informed them the wedding party would join them in a few minutes after a short photography session with family members.

  When Nikki and I came back in the auditorium a few minutes later, I saw no sign of Carlton, and I figured he’d joined the rest of the guests in the reception area and was eating mints and partaking of wedding punch while waiting for the bride and groom to make their appearance.

  In the meantime, I was smiling for the photographer and trying to figure out how I was going to slip away from the reception so I could have a secret meeting with my boss.

  In the midst of working out the details of my rendezvous, it suddenly dawned on me that keeping secrets from Nikki was probably not the best way to begin our marriage.

  While the photographer was busy taking pictures of the groom
smen with the bridesmaids, I leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Would you run away with me, Mrs. Ray?”

  She laughed. “In a heartbeat.”

  “Do you think Carla would forgive us if we didn’t show up for the reception?”

  She smiled. “Not a chance. And I think Eleanor would be pretty upset if we weren’t there to cut the wedding cake.”

  “I guess that means we’ll have to stick around a little longer.”

  “What about Douglas? Don’t you want to tell him thank you for coming all this way just to see you get married?”

  “It’s always a good idea to keep Douglas happy.”

  “Did you know he was coming today?”

  I nodded. “I talked to him last night. He said he might have an update about Lisa Redding today. To be truthful, I was hoping I could slip away for a little chat with him while the reception was going on.”

  She shook her head. “It’s usually customary for the bride and groom to show up at the wedding reception together. The guests might find it a little strange if the groom decided to skip out on it.”

  “Everyone will be looking at you. They won’t even notice if I’m out of the room.”

  “I hardly think that’s the case.”

  I leaned over and kissed her. “I wish I had words to tell you how beautiful you look. When you walked through those doors, it took my breath away. All I could think about was how God has blessed me.”

  “I hope I’ll never forget the expression on your face,” she said, giving me a smile. “Of course, Uncle Harold took one look at you and said you were about to pass out.”

  “Not a chance. I was totally in the moment, enjoying every second of the ceremony, and acutely aware of everything going on.”

  “Are you sure you weren’t just trying to figure out how you could slip away from me so you could go talk to Douglas?”

  “No, that’s what I was doing a few minutes ago.”

  She squeezed my hand. “I’m happy to hear you admit that. I’m also happy to know you decided to let me in on your plans.”