Jane Doe

by Lillian Duncan

  “You came prepared.”

  “I did. I know I’m not ready to do all the hard stuff, but I wanted to get started right away. I want to be able to defend myself if I need to.”

  “Still no memory?”

  Had the dream been a memory? She couldn’t say for sure. “No.”

  “Sadly, there are a lot of bad people out there. And even in our small town there’s more bad people than most folks realize.”

  Not just bad people. Monsters. A chill went down her spine. That word meant something, but what?

  “OK. The first thing you need to know about self-defense is to always leave a situation that feels wrong. Trust your instincts. If it feels wrong, leave. No matter where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing.”

  “Leave? I want to be able to defend myself.”

  “I agree, and we’ll work on that, but truly the best defense is to leave situations that don’t feel safe. It’s better to err on the side of caution. If you’re wrong, so what? But if you’re right, you’ve stayed safe.”

  “That makes sense.”

  “And the second thing is that you need to be as healthy and strong as you can be.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  “It means that before you start to learn any self-defense moves, you need to work on getting stronger. In other words, an extension of the physical therapy you’ve been doing.”

  That wasn’t what she had in mind at all. “I want to be able to take a man down if he tries to hurt me. Give him a karate chop or something.”

  He laughed. “I understand. But it’s important for you to be strong enough to get away from him if the situation calls for it.”

  They stared at each other.

  Hunter grinned. “It’s up to you. I’m sure you can find someone else to help you. But if you want me to help you, we have to do it my way.”

  “And what exactly is your way?”

  “Strength, flexibility, and endurance, first. When I feel like you’re ready we can talk about some of those karate chops.”

  “Fine. I’ll do it your way.”

  ~*~

  Raven’s whole body was shaking as she sat down on a chair on her front porch. The session with Hunter was far more strenuous than she’d expected. He’d had her walk a mile, made her use some weights, and then they’d done stretching exercises at the end. She sipped on the cola from her bag, glad she’d thought ahead on that score and hoping the sugar and caffeine would revive her.

  “Hello.” An older Amish lady stood on her side of the driveway holding a plate.

  “Hi.”

  “I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.” Her German accent was slight, making the J in “just” come out as “chust.”

  “That’s so nice. Thank you.”

  “My name is Lydia.” She crossed the drive and climbed up the steps.

  “My name is Raven. I hope you don’t mind if I have one right now. That’s why I’m sitting here. I’m a little shaky.”

  “Oh, my. Of course not.” She passed that plate of cookies to Raven. “Eat as many as you want. I have more in the house. I like a cookie every now and again, so I made two batches.”

  Raven’s hand shook as she picked up a cookie and munched on it. She took a deep breath. “That’s better, I think.”

  “Do you need a doctor?”

  “No. I just overdid it a bit. I was working out. I’ll be smarter next time.” Hunter would have to take it down a notch or two. She picked up another cookie.

  “So, how are you liking Charm so far?”

  “It’s seems perfect. I wanted a place that was quiet.”

  “It is quiet, not as quiet as living on a farm. But I do enjoy living here. I moved into town after my husband passed. There was no reason for me to stay out on the farm alone. Too much work for one person.”

  “Couldn’t your children help?”

  “Sadly, God did not bless me in that way.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

  “Not a problem. It was God’s will. And I love living in town. I can walk to the store and to the restaurant. And my friends come to visit me quite often.”

  “Was that your buggy I saw this morning?”

  “No. A friend stopped by. I don’t have a buggy any longer. No place to keep the horses. I have a three-wheeler bicycle for town, and then I hire someone if I want to go to Millersburg or Berlin.”

  “If you ever need to go somewhere, let me know. I’ll be glad to take you. I’m not working right now, so I have plenty of time.”

  “That is so very nice of you, Raven.”

  Raven held up the cookies. “This was very nice of you.”

  Lydia smiled. “It was my pleasure. I will bring you over some more.”

  Raven looked down at the plate. Almost empty. “That’s not necessary.”

  “True, but I will, chust the same.”

  17

  “So how are you? Really?” Gracie ran her fingers through her hair.

  Raven still had weekly sessions with Gracie after her physical therapy session. They were part therapy and part Bible study. She sighed. “Good and bad.”

  Gracie laughed. “OK, you can’t give me an answer like that without an explanation. More please.”

  “It’s just different. When I was here, I didn’t have to worry about my future but now…I have to figure out what to do with the rest of my life.”

  Gracie gave her a penetrating look. “I can understand that, and I’m sure you’ll figure it out. But there’s no rush. You really are still in recovery. Keep praying. God will give you answers. But I don’t really think that’s what the good and bad answer was about. Is it?”

  Raven tried to meet Gracie’s gaze but failed. “Probably not.”

  “So what’s really going on?”

  “I’m afraid.”

  “Of what?”

  “Everything.” Raven shuddered. “I feel so weak admitting that. When I’m with other people, I’m OK but when I’m alone I just get scared.”

  “Oh, sweetie. That makes sense after all you’ve been through.”

  “I guess. Except I don’t really know what I’ve been through.” She shrugged. “Understanding doesn’t make it any easier.”

  “I suppose not. So have you been continuing Bible study on your own?” Gracie had a way of leading things—everything—back to God.

  “Not really.”

  “I thought not.” He fingers tapped the side of her wheelchair as she stared off into space. “Too busy?”

  “I can’t really use that as an excuse. The truth is I just didn’t think about it. But I do keep reminding myself that I’m powerful not pitiful.”

  “That’s good. I’m not reprimanding you. Your life—your choices. Buuuuut…”

  “But what?”

  “I can’t tell you what will work in your life. That’s between you and God. But I can tell you what worked—what still works every day in my life. It’s the Bible. It’s as simple as that. God’s Word is power. Power to overcome. Power to more peace and joy. Power to turn your ashes into beauty.”

  “You sound so positive about that.”

  “I am. When I skip a few days of Bible study, I start to feel sorry for myself. And it takes no time at all for that to spread to every area of my life. I start feeling anger at my situation. And then hopelessness starts. And it just keeps getting worse. As soon as I start meditating on God’s Word, it starts getting better.”

  “You think reading the Bible will help me stop being afraid?”

  “When you put your trust in God, He is always faithful. There’s a verse in Romans that talks about renewing your mind. The thing is, renewing your mind isn’t a one-time thing. It’s an ongoing process. I can’t explain how or why but there is power in God’s Word.”

  “OK, I’ll start today. As soon as I’m done with my self-defense classes. If you can call it that. Hunter keeps telling me the best defense is to run away from a bad situation. It’s more of
a workout than a self-defense class.”

  “But I can see a difference in your walking so it must be helping.”

  “I guess, but I’m sure not admitting that to Hunter. Want to go out to dinner Friday night?”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Raven stood. “See you then.” She went to the door.

  “And don’t forget, Raven,” Gracie said. “One of the most powerful things we can do is to be thankful and give praise.”

  “Count my blessings, right?”

  ~*~

  “This is not what I had in mind when I said self-defense classes.”

  Hunter smiled as he jogged past her. “I know but as I always say…”

  “The best defense is to run away. I get it. But I can’t run.”

  “That’s OK. Walk as fast as you can.”

  Making her voice louder since he was ahead of her on the track, she said, “I’m trying. I’m doing my best.”

  He turned and ran backwards. “Are you really?”

  “I said I was.”

  “Don’t believe her.” Amanda yelled as she jogged onto the track. She’d joined in the classes a few days back. “She’s never liked to run or do anything physical. There isn’t a physical challenge she hasn’t run from. Walking to the library and back is her idea of a workout.”

  “I suspected that all along. Good to know I was right.”

  Amanda ran past her.

  “I’m glad you two enjoy tormenting me.”

  “It’s what I get paid to do.” He turned around and ran past Amanda. Within a few minutes he ran past Raven for the second time and then stopped. He threw her a towel. “OK. You can stop. Time to do a little strength training and then we’ll practice the move I taught you last time.”

  She wiped the sweat off. “I’m exhausted.”

  “Nah—you just think you are. Proverbs 23:7 says you are what you think you are. So stopping thinking exhausted and start thinking you are strong and energetic.”

  Amanda ran past. “I’m doing two more laps and then I’ll be over.”

  “See Amanda’s thinking strong and energetic.”

  “She’s always been like that. I wish I were more like her,” Raven said as they walked toward the weight room. “But don’t tell her I said that.”

  “Don’t compare yourself to her, Raven. Besides you’re doing great. I know I tease you, but I’ve seen great improvement since we started.”

  “Yeah, great improvement. I can walk around the track twice.”

  “Your walking is picking up speed.”

  By the time they finished the weights, Amanda walked in just in time for the self-defense part of the class. “OK, class. First rule of self-defense is…”

  “Leave the situation.” Amanda blurted out before Raven could. Her sister smiled pleased to have beaten her.

  “And the second rule?”

  “Never let them take you to a secondary location.” Amanda blurted out again.

  “I knew those answers too.”

  “Sure you did, sis. Sure you did.” Amanda giggled.

  “I’m sure you did, Raven. Now, here’s a move that’s guaranteed to protect.”

  Good. That’s what she wanted—needed. Something that would make sure she never got kidnapped again. She waited.

  “Someone grabs you by your arms. Whatcha going to do?”

  The two sisters looked at each other, shrugged, then looked back at Hunter.

  “One choice is to kick them in the groin.”

  “That’s a great idea.” Raven said.

  Hunter shook his head. “Not a great idea.”

  “Why not? That’s where men are most vulnerable, right?”

  “I’m not going to argue that one, but there’s a better option. When you move your leg up to kick them in the groin, you’re going to lose your balance and either fall or waste valuable time trying not to fall. Plus he could grab your leg and you’d definitely fall.”

  Raven visualized just such a situation and realized he was right. “Then what should you do?”

  “Kick them in the knee. As hard as you can. It can be just as disabling to your attacker and it gives you time to…”

  “Run away.” Raven said then grinned at Amanda. “Beat you.”

  “You can kick anyway you can but if you can with the sole of your foot that would be the best. Let’s practice but don’t actually kick each other.”

  They took turns with each other and with Hunter.

  “I suppose that move could help but not if he had a gun. Maybe I should just get a gun. Learn how to shoot.”

  “That’s a horrible idea.” Amanda said. “Maybe you should just move in with us if you’re that afraid. We have plenty of room. And the girls would be thrilled to have their aunt living with them.”

  “I agree with Amanda. A gun is a terrible idea, but if you want, I can come over to your house and help make it safer. And maybe find a security company to install some safety features.”

  “Any security company would be too far away from Charm to help.”

  “I can at least come over and take a look at your house. See how we can make it safer.”

  “I don’t want to impose.”

  “You’re not. I volunteered, remember? I’ll call you later to set that up,” Hunter said. “OK, one slow lap around the track to cool down.”

  They all headed back out to the track.

  As they were leaving, Amanda looped her arm through Raven’s. She leaned in and whispered, “He’s so cute and he’s got a thing for you.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” Raven giggled. “But he is cute.”

  “I’ll say. That curly brown hair, and those smoldering brown eyes. If I weren’t married, I’d go after him.”

  “I’m not going after anyone.”

  “That’s OK. He’s going after you. And that’s even better.”

  “He’s doing no such thing.”

  Amanda lowered her voice imitating Hunter. “I’ll come over to your house and check it out.” Then in her normal voice, “The only thing he’s checking out is you.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” But Raven laughed. She couldn’t help but be a little pleased.

  ~*~

  The two sisters left arm in arm. They were whispering and giggling. It was nice to see Raven that way. When she first came to Hunter for lessons, she was so serious, so quiet. But she was changing. Not just physically but in other ways. She seemed to be healing even though she still felt weak and powerless and afraid. Dear Heavenly Father, Bless her. Give her back her peace and joy. Then he added as an afterthought, Bless Amanda, too.

  As he drove to the sheriff’s department for his shift, he still had Raven on his mind. What was that about? But he couldn’t pretend he didn’t know the answer. She was beautiful and sweet. But she was in no condition for a relationship. Not that he was looking for one anyway. He hadn’t been involved with anyone since his fiancé had broken their engagement.

  After the last woman he dated told him he had trust issues, he’d decided she was right. If a person couldn’t trust, there was no point in dating. One broken heart in a lifetime was enough for him. Raven might be beautiful, but he wasn’t looking for a relationship.

  18

  Raven’s fingers shook as she typed the words, The End. Her eyes filled with tears. She’d done it. She’d written a book, which she’d titled Overcoming. She didn’t know what would happen now but just finishing it was a victory.

  Even when she’d been a reporter, she’d always known someday she’d try her hand at writing a book. She’d assumed it would be fiction, but she’d been wrong. She stared at the words once again.

  What an awesome feeling!

  A few days later, Raven drove to Cleveland to meet with an agent. When she’d made the appointment, she hadn’t told the secretary about the manuscript. Instead, she’d told her she was a reporter for the Marietta Times—which technically she still was—and she’d like to talk about what it was like to be an agent.


  Raven walked into the agent’s office without a cane. Another victory. She’d had many since leaving the nursing home. Physically and spiritually. After taking Gracie’s advice about studying specific Bible verses about peace and joy, she thought she was finally overcoming the all-consuming fear.

  A woman looked up from the computer screen. “Can I help you?”

  “I have an appointment with Julie Dunn. I’m Raven Marks.”

  “Go on in.”

  Raven walked into another office.

  The woman stood up and shook her hand. “I’m Julie Dunn.”

  After introducing herself, Raven pulled out her manuscript, printed and bound. “I know I told your secretary I was looking for information about being an agent. And that’s true, I’m planning on writing an article about your profession. But it wasn’t completely true. I have a story.”

  Julie’s eyes widened. “That’s not how it’s done. First, you send a query, and if I’m interested, then a proposal.”

  “I know that, and I’m sorry for blindsiding you. I’m hoping you’ll at least read a few pages now. And if you’re not interested, I won’t waste your time. I’ll ask you a few questions and then write an amazing article about you. I promise.”

  Julie sighed. “You’re here, so I might as well. Please sit down.”

  Raven sat. She’d chosen this agency in Cleveland not just because it was close to Charm but because it was a Christian agency with a wonderful reputation.

  Julie turned the first page and then more. Fifteen minutes later, she looked up. “This is a true story?”

  “I wish it wasn’t, but yes, it is.”

  “It’s an incredible story and you know how to tell it. You’re writing is not only captivating but clear and concise.”

  “I really am a reporter. Or at least I was before all that happened to me.”

  “It shows in your writing. If you can verify the story, I think this would be something I’d definitely be interested in representing.”

  “Not a problem. I included a list of people at the back who can verify specific events. My doctors. The rehab center. The sheriff’s department that found me. I included a photocopy of the missing persons report. Things like that. There’s just one condition I have.”