Out of Alignment (Hearts & Horsepower #5)

by A. K. Evans

  I turned around to see Knox standing there. His eyes drifted toward the new face in the trailer, and a look of surprise came over him.

  I squeezed Parker’s hand and noted, “There’s one more guy for you to meet. Parker, this is Knox. He’s our fabricator. Knox, this is Parker.”

  He offered her a chin lift. “Nice to meet you.”

  “You too.”

  Parker barely got out the words before Avery was standing beside us.

  “You can leave Parker here with us while you go and help Knox,” she started. “We’ll bring her up to speed on everything she needs to know about you.”

  I cocked an eyebrow and asked, “Should I be worried?”

  “Of course not,” she answered, though there was a bit of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

  My eyes dropped to Parker. “Are you cool?” I asked.

  Nodding, she confirmed, “Yes. Go do what you need to do.”

  I stared at her a moment longer, confirmed there wasn’t any apprehension lingering, and noted, “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

  “I’ll be fine,” she insisted.

  With that, I turned and walked out to help Knox while I left Parker with the women. I hoped that she’d easily fit in with them, and it would only help make what I was building with her that much stronger.

  These people were my closest friends. I wanted them all to like her.

  I watched as Nash walked away before turning my head to the side to look at the woman standing beside me, Avery.

  “Did I hear them correctly?” I asked.

  “What do you mean?” she wondered.

  “Did they just say they were going to work on your car?” I clarified.

  She beamed a beautiful smile at me.

  “Yep,” Kendall answered as she walked up to us. “Avery’s the badass of the group. She’s not only the LT Motorsports business manager; she’s also a race car driver.”

  My eyes widened. “Really?”

  Avery nodded.

  “Come in and sit down,” Kendall urged.

  I didn’t know what it was, but I’d just met these women and already liked them. They could have very easily had their own little clique and only tolerated me, but they welcomed me in with open arms. I so appreciated it.

  Once they had pulled up a chair for me, I sat down and joined the group.

  “We’re so excited you’re here,” Elise declared.

  “Yes, this is the best thing that’s going to happen all day,” Scarlet said. “I mean, I think it might top Avery or Logan running a personal best. No offense, Avery.”

  “None taken,” Avery assured her. “I completely agree with you.”

  “Um…” I trailed off. “I’m sorry, but I’m a little confused.”

  Elise, who was sitting just off to my left, said, “We’ve been waiting for Nash to find his girl.”

  “It feels like it’s been forever,” Avery added.

  “Well, you can thank me for it,” Kendall declared.

  My brows pulled together. “What?”

  “I’m the reason Nash came to your office a few weeks ago when he got injured,” Kendall started. “I was with Logan when he got the call from Kieran about Nash hurting his back. Kieran was going to take him to the hospital, but I recommended he bring him to see you.”

  “I appreciate that,” I told her. “And forgive me because I’m usually pretty good with remembering my patients, but I don’t remember you. Have you been in to see me before?”

  Kendall shook her head. “No. But I’m a labor and delivery nurse at Rising Sun Medical, and you’ve been a lifesaver for so many of the women I’ve talked to over the years.”

  That made sense. I had a decent number of pregnant women who’d come in over the years, hoping to find some relief as their pregnancies progressed.

  I nodded my understanding. “And now would I be right to assume you’re all dating one of the guys out there?” I asked.

  “Yep,” Avery answered. “Knox and I are engaged. Kendall and Logan are engaged. Scarlet and Ryker are actually getting married in June. And Elise and Kieran have been dating for the last few months.”

  “And we’re hoping you’re going to be the last piece of the puzzle,” Scarlet sighed dreamily.

  Wow.

  As wonderful as all of that sounded, they were clearly much further along in their relationships than I was with Nash. In fact, I wasn’t quite sure what to call us right now. It wasn’t as though he’d introduced me to anyone as his girlfriend. And we’d technically only been on one date.

  “We’ve only been on one date,” I told them, not sure they had a basis for assuming I was going to be the next member of the group in the way they had hoped.

  “Logan and I got together before we even went on a date,” Kendall shared.

  “I felt a connection with Kieran before we even knew each other’s names,” Elise offered. “I even told him I just wanted a no-strings-attached affair. He wasn’t interested in having anything to do with that.”

  “Knox and I basically hated each other, and that didn’t stop him from kissing me,” Avery added.

  When my eyes drifted to Scarlet, she shrugged and said, “I met Ryker when we were sixteen. We were really too young to take big steps like that before an actual date. That said, the day he met me, he invited me to the movie theater, where he worked his summer job and brought me a cupcake to celebrate our birthday.”

  I kind of wanted to tell her that I was an adult who wanted to take steps like that, but that the man I wanted to take that step with didn’t seem to want the same thing. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to share with people I’d just met, not even when they were openly sharing things with me.

  “Well, this all sounds very promising,” I started. “I have to admit that I think he’s a really great guy.”

  “He’s not at all like the rest of them,” Elise announced.

  When a worried look washed over me, Avery chimed in, “That sounded bad, but it’s not. I’ve been working with all of them for a year now, and they’ve all got their own unique things about them. But working in a performance automotive shop, it’s almost expected that everyone will have that one thing that gets them all worked up. Not Nash. It doesn’t matter what’s going on. The man just goes with the flow.”

  “Yep,” Scarlet agreed. “He’s so laid-back and doesn’t let the little things bother him.”

  “I agree,” I told them. “We went on a date earlier this week, and I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun before in my life.”

  “Where did he take you?” Kendall asked.

  “After dinner, we went ax throwing,” I shared.

  Their eyes widened. “Really?” Elise returned. “That’s different.”

  “Tell me about it,” I replied. “On my own, ax throwing never would have been on my bucket list. But with Nash, it was one of the most incredible nights of my life.”

  “This makes me so happy,” Scarlet sang.

  “Me too,” Kendall bubbled. “After Logan and I got together and worked through our differences, all I wanted was to see the rest of the guys get the same thing. It’s been so much fun seeing everyone find it.”

  “And Nash being who he is makes it that much better,” Avery added.

  “I told Kieran I couldn’t wait to see Nash get his happy ending,” Elise shared. “He really deserves it. And considering you’ve only gone on one date and he’s already brought you here to the track to meet his friends, I’m guessing he’s well on his way to finding it.”

  Hearing these women talk about Nash made me feel good. I liked knowing that they were genuinely excited about him finding someone who made him happy. Knowing he had these wonderful people around him who talked about him the way they did made me feel like I’d made a good choice.

  And considering how closed off I’d kept myself for so long, there was no better realization I could have had.

  It wasn’t working.

 
I was a fool to believe that I could convince myself that this was what I wanted.

  But I had been desperate to take control of the situation and was doing anything I could to feel like I had it.

  It was early Sunday evening, and after having put in a full day of work doing chores, I was finally taking some time to think about the whole frustrating situation with Nash. Not only had I found myself doing things so far out of the norm for me, but the fact that I couldn’t seem to come to grips with what was happening between us, nor could I fix them, was all sending me over the edge toward insanity.

  This was becoming uncomfortable. The discomfort I felt was not how comfortable I felt doing those new things with Nash but rather his unwillingness to do what he had said he would.

  …make sure I give you what we both want.

  He hadn’t given me what I wanted. That didn’t mean he hadn’t given me anything. Of course, he had.

  Every time we were together outside of my office, except for our initial meeting weeks ago, Nash had made me laugh. His carefree attitude was infectious and had me forgetting about all the things I’d normally be filling my mind with.

  Unfortunately, I’d been by myself all day long. And now that I’d changed my bedsheets, done my laundry, gone grocery shopping, and done the vacuuming, all I had left were thoughts of him.

  That was the other thing.

  Everything else that would have normally been plaguing my brain seemed nonexistent. It made no sense to me.

  It was the whole reason I’d come up with my plan yesterday to pretend that the mostly nonexistent physical relationship between us was all my idea. I thought if I could convince myself that it was what I wanted, everything would be fine again.

  I’d been doing great with it, too.

  We had a great day at the track. I was actually surprised at how much I enjoyed being there with him. Even better, he didn’t need to be around me every minute, and I still enjoyed it because I got to meet some new friends. How serious those relationships would ultimately be was still yet to be seen, but I had some hope.

  After saying goodbye to everyone, Nash drove us the forty-five minutes back to my place. I was still doing great. The drive back was wonderful, too. We’d talked a lot about the day, and I shared how much I really like all of his friends.

  But when we got back to my place, and he saw me safely inside, everything I’d worked so hard to do all day started crumbling. Because as seemed to be the thing for Nash, he couldn’t walk away from me without kissing me senseless. And that was the problem. I was completely, totally senseless.

  Once again, with his lips against mine and his tongue in my mouth, I seemed to lose all sense of what I knew was best for me. I should have been pushing him away. I should have told him he couldn’t continue to do this to me. But it was too good to stop it. Plus, Nash’s hands began roaming a bit more than they ever had before that point. I started to believe that maybe this was going to be it.

  I mean, what else was I supposed to think when his groans matched each of my moans? Should I have thought differently when one of his hands drifted up the side of my body and fully cupped my breast? Wasn’t the feel of his hard cock pressing against me, making me throb and desire him even more than I already was, enough of a sign that we shouldn’t deny ourselves?

  Just when I thought I would explode from not seeing it through, Nash tore his mouth away and pressed his forehead against mine.

  His voice was deep and husky when he said, “It’s been a long day, and I’ve got to get up early tomorrow.”

  I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout. I wanted to tell him I’d had enough.

  Instead, feeling so dejected, I had nothing left in me, so I murmured, “Okay.”

  Something passed over him, something I couldn’t read, and it made me wonder if he was having second thoughts. For a brief second, I thought he was going to say something, but he never did.

  And after he left, I tried to ignore the aching in my chest and between my legs.

  Luckily, I woke up today prepared and focused on getting all my chores done. So, I was distracted for the better part of the day and focused on what I needed to get done.

  Now that I was done, I couldn’t do anything but think about Nash.

  Suddenly, I was wondering if this was all in my head. Maybe I had been out of the game for so long that I didn’t know how things were done these days.

  No.

  No, that couldn’t be it.

  After speaking with Kendall, Avery, Scarlet, and Elise yesterday, I knew that I wasn’t wrong. I felt what I felt between us, and Nash had some other agenda.

  That said, although I was frustrated, I also couldn’t say that I was struggling when I was around him. Being happy came naturally when I was with Nash. The only problem I had was convincing myself that I was okay with that being all there was between us.

  I spent so much time figuring out how I felt about everything that before I realized it, it was just past dinnertime. I made my way to the kitchen and pulled out ingredients to make a salad to go with my salmon and baked potato. After getting the oven on and up to temp, I put the salmon in and popped my potato into the microwave.

  Just as I was about to chop up the vegetables, my phone rang. I put down my knife, walked over to the phone, and saw Nash’s name on display.

  Confused, I answered, “Hello?”

  “Hey, sunshine,” he returned. “Are you done with your chores?”

  “What?”

  “You said you were going to be doing a bunch of housework and grocery shopping today,” he clarified. “I was just wondering if you were finished.”

  Nash must have been finished at the event and driving home. He probably just wanted to pass the time a little quicker.

  “Yeah, I finished everything,” I told him.

  “Do you want some company?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “I’m going to be home in less than five minutes,” he started. “I was going to run in and take a quick shower. Then I was going to come over to see you if you weren’t busy.”

  He wanted to come over?

  “Oh, well, I mean, I just put dinner in the oven,” I told him. “I didn’t know you were planning to stop by, so I—”

  “I’m wasn’t coming because I expected you to feed me, Parker,” he cut me off. “I can pick something up on the way. It’s not a big deal. I just wanted to see you. That’s all.”

  He just wanted to see me.

  While I sat here for the last hour thinking about how he might not have really liked me, Nash was calling me after a long weekend to check if he could stop by just to see me.

  What was wrong with me?

  “Sure,” I said. “That would be nice.”

  “Good. I’m less than a minute from my house,” he shared. “I’ll be inside for a few minutes, and then I’m on my way.”

  “Nash?” I called.

  “Yes, sunshine?”

  I loved hearing him call me that.

  “I can thaw a piece of salmon quickly,” I remarked. “If you want to just come over and are cool with waiting maybe an extra ten minutes, I can cook for both of us.”

  “That works for me. I’m sure we can find something to do with those extra ten minutes,” he teased.

  I didn’t respond because I knew what he was thinking about doing to pass the time. And I knew it was going to drive me wild.

  “Okay, I just pulled up at my place,” he noted. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”

  After we disconnected, I immediately pulled my salmon out of the oven and turned off the microwave. Neither the salmon nor the potato had been in for more than three or four minutes, so I was going to wait until I had Nash’s piece of salmon thawed before I put them both back inside the oven.

  Ten minutes later, I managed to get the salmon thawed by running it under some cool water. I popped it into the oven with mine, set a timer, and got the potatoes cooking again. Then I went back to work on the salad.

 
; No sooner had I finished preparing the salad when my doorbell rang.

  Nash hadn’t been kidding. He had taken a quick shower.

  Opening the door, I greeted him with a smile and said, “That was fast.”

  He stepped inside, slid an arm around my waist, and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips. “I missed you,” he replied.

  Just like that, he kissed me and said he missed me.

  Like it was the same as telling me what he ate for lunch today.

  I had to admit that I liked the way it felt to hear him say that to me.

  “I hope you’re okay with salmon, baked potato, and salad,” I started as I closed the door behind him. “It’s almost ready.”

  “I’m not picky about food,” he shared.

  “Are you picky about anything?” I questioned him as we walked toward the kitchen.

  Nash grinned. “Maybe one or two things,” he revealed.

  “So, this was completely unexpected,” I began. “I thought you’d still be at the track right now.”

  “Yeah, well, sometimes you have good days at the track, and sometimes you have bad days,” he said. “From a records and winning standpoint, it wasn’t a good weekend for us. But we did collect a lot of data. That’s just the way it goes. Luckily, it’s still early enough in the season that we’ve got plenty of time to get everything working and running well.”

  I nodded my understanding and lamented, “I’m sorry that it wasn’t a successful weekend, but I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me too,” he replied. “How was your day?”

  “Oh man, you missed out on so much fun,” I teased him. “I did my laundry—which I know you love helping with—before I went out to get groceries. Then I came back, put those away, and vacuumed. After all that, I cleaned my bathrooms before I sat down for a few minutes. I started thinking, time got away from me, and now I’m making dinner.”

  Nash moved toward me, slid his arm around my waist again, and tugged me close. “What were you thinking about?” he questioned me.

  “Stuff,” I replied. There was no way I was going to tell him I’d spent all that time trying to figure out why he didn’t want to have sex with me.