Smokey

by Sam Crescent

  “It’s a little cold, like last time.”

  Gel was squirted on her stomach, and then the doctor had some kind of probe. Anticipation ate away at him as the tip of the probe was placed on her stomach. He wanted to know if his baby was okay, but more importantly, mommy too.

  “Ah, there we go. Let me get a few little measurements.”

  Smokey tuned him out as he looked at the screen. He couldn’t make much out, but then the doctor turned the volume up, and sure enough, he could hear his son or daughter’s heartbeat.

  “Oh, my,” Ava said. “That’s the most precious sound in the world.”

  “Isn’t it?” The doctor did some more dates and numbers. “You’re about three months along, Ava. So, we’re looking at a New Year baby, give or take. We’ll know more details as the months go along. I couldn’t determine sex yet, but these things take time.”

  Smokey listened as the doctor gave her a list of instructions. She had to rest, eat healthy, avoid certain foods. The list was endless.

  “Intercourse is allowed,” the doctor said.

  “That’s not necessary. We’re not together.”

  The doctor looked at him, and his face stayed blank, not giving anything away. “Well, in case you both change your mind. You’re allowed to have sex. It’s one of the most asked questions couples with their first pregnancy ask me.”

  “Is that all?” Ava asked.

  “Yes. I’ve given you the leaflets, and I think everything is all set. You can collect your images from reception and book your next appointment. As always, Ms. Sinclaire, it’s a pleasure to see you.”

  Smokey shook the doctor’s hand and turned to leave.

  At the reception desk, Ava was given the pictures and she booked another appointment.

  Smokey took the picture from her and flicked it open to see their baby. Their child. He had no idea what it was. There wasn’t even a clear picture. It was so small.

  Hearing the heartbeat, now that had been precious.

  They exited the hospital together, and he took her hand, leading her to the car. “Have lunch with me?”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “We’ve both just heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time. Don’t you want to enjoy that?”

  Ava nibbled on her lip.

  “I promise to be on my best behavior. It’s nearly lunchtime. Come on, Ava, let me take care of you.”

  “I can eat,” she said. “Meet you at the diner?”

  “I’ll follow you.”

  He wasn’t letting her out of his sight. One bad move and she’d run. Ava smiled at him and climbed into her car. He rushed to his own, pulling out of the parking lot and following her.

  His cell phone rang and he saw it was the clubhouse.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “I wanted to see how your first baby daddy experience was going?” Hunter asked.

  “All good so far.” Ava was driving slowly, and he stayed close behind her. “I’m heading into town to get some lunch.”

  “Er, Smokey, we got a tip. Creed’s been spotted in town with a couple of boys.”

  “Shit, fuck, shit.” He clenched his hands around the steering wheel. There was nothing he could do about it now. “I can’t do this. I wanted to take Ava out to lunch. Gather a few of the boys up and come into town. A show of force.”

  “Okay, will do. Also, we’ve got a few problems at the shack.”

  “Where it rains it pours. What could be the fucking problem at the shack?” he asked. He didn’t see why there had to be a problem. A bunch of people fucked for the camera. Not a whole lot of drama or death.

  “It would appear someone has given the actors bad food. Vomit and shit are all over the place. We’ve had to close the place down. I’ve got a cleaning crew working on it. Billy the cameraman doesn’t understand it as they don’t have any food on set. They don’t even celebrate a good clean wrap. His words, not mine.”

  “You think someone poisoned them?” Smokey asked.

  “It would make sense. We hit out at Creed, he’s going to hit out at us.”

  They earned a good living off those porn films alone. The dirtier the men and women were willing to go, the higher the paycheck.

  “I want everyone tested. I want to know why they were sick. Then I want to know what they were sick with.”

  “Already on it. Until we know what went on, it’s shut down. Also, Santigo called, he’s got another run.”

  “We did one for him less than a month ago.”

  “I know, but it’s up to you to handle that business,” Hunter said.

  “Fuck, fine. I’ll deal with it. Make sure you send a check to the hospital for Ava’s medical bills. I don’t want her to worry about anything.”

  “The woman’s loaded.”

  “I’m taking care of it.” He wanted to contribute more to this than his sperm. He honestly didn’t know what kind of dad he was going to be.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Your baby’s a cutie,” Harlow said.

  Ava laughed. “You can’t tell all of that from a picture.”

  “I can’t tell, but you know I’m blessed with being able to read people.” Harlow took the ultrasound photo and touched it. “Yep, he’s going to be a cutie, and all the girls are going to swoon.”

  Ava took the photo back. “Not that I disagree, because I don’t, but I really hope you’re right. Not that it matters if he’s not a cutie. I just want him to be happy and healthy.” Ava touched her stomach. It was starting to show a more roundness. The sickness was still part of her daily life as well. The mornings sucked big time, and each time she stared down at the toilet bowl with no one to rub her back as she vomited, it only served to remind her she was all alone.

  “Hey, where did you go?” Harlow asked, shaking her hand back and forth in front of her face.

  “I didn’t go anywhere.” She snorted. “Don’t worry. I’m still very much here.”

  “What made you sad?”

  Ava shrugged. “A lot of things.”

  “Does this have to do with the baby daddy?” Harlow asked.

  “A little.”

  “What is the deal with you guys? Don’t get me wrong, I heard all the gossip. How the town believed you’d been blacklisted and all that fun stuff, but you’re still here. Anyone blacklisted by the Bastards don’t tend to stick around for long, and it doesn’t look to me like there’s much of a problem with him.”

  Ava waited. Harlow had a tendency to keep on talking. She just ran on and on and on. She didn’t mind it. Harlow filled in the silence that only enforced the truth of how lonely and isolated she felt. There were times she could pretend her life wasn’t empty, but this wasn’t one of those times.

  “Have you even seen the way Smokey acts around you?”

  Ava heard the oven beeping in the background and shook her head before answering. “No, I don’t.”

  Harlow moved to the doorway. They didn’t have any customers yet.

  Going to the oven, she checked over the cookies and was somewhat impressed. Harlow had asked her to attempt a vegan cookie recipe. She had tried it, and now she was surprised. The next true test would be in the tasting.

  “It’s okay. I keep an eye on everything for the two of us. Smokey can’t take his eyes off you. He’s like a lost little puppy. I’m not joking about this. If you watched him, you’d know he’s obsessed with you.”

  Ava snorted. “I know for a fact that’s not true.”

  “Why?”

  She thought about the bruises, the beating. The aches she still got in her hand. The doctor had said that was all normal, but she couldn’t help but feel something was missing from her life. Even though Harlow had a brother in the Hell’s Bastards MC, she couldn’t bring herself to talk to her about it. It didn’t feel right. What happened between her and Smokey, along with the club, was secret. She wasn’t going to abuse Smokey’s trust even though he’d completely obliterated hers.

  “D
oes this have to do with all the bruises you got? Is Smokey beating you?”

  “Of course not.”

  “No, I just follow her around like a lost little puppy,” Smokey said, making them both jump as he suddenly appeared behind Harlow, who had turned deathly white.

  “Did you read the sign?” Harlow asked, her voice rising.

  Ava tried not to laugh, but the look on her new friend’s face was just priceless.

  “I figured I could come and see Ava. I wanted to know if you’d like to go out to lunch?” Smokey asked.

  “I can’t leave the shop.”

  “Why not?” Both Smokey and Harlow asked.

  She smiled. “Because this is still my shop and I still have to be here for the lunch rush.”

  “You saw me handle it just fine yesterday. I can do this, Ava. Please, let me show you.”

  Harlow was a hard worker. No doubt about it. She served beautifully. Her customers adored her.

  “If you’re sure. I just figured you’d want more … practice.”

  “No, I’ve got this. People love your food. Go and have some yourself. Hopefully, it will make you smile, unlike some people around here.”

  Ava glanced at Smokey. She didn’t want to make a scene. “Would you like me to bring you anything back?”

  “Sure. I’d like that. You know what I don’t eat,” Harlow said, winking at her. She stepped further into the room, putting herself away from Smokey. “Can I try one of these?” She pointed at the new chocolate chips.

  “Sure.”

  Harlow took one, and Ava waited, watching the woman take a bite.

  “Oh, fuck me, that’s so good.”

  Ava burst out laughing. “Really?”

  “Yeah, you have got to sell these. Wow. Can I take another?”

  “Yes. Put them in a basket as a taster, please,” she said.

  “Why?”

  “I want to see what other people think of them before I offer them up for sale.”

  “You don’t need to do that. They’re that good, but I will do as you ask, boss.”

  Ava nodded. She turned to grab her bag, but Smokey stopped her.

  “I’m paying. You don’t need to worry about anything.”

  She’d hoped to stall. For some imaginary problem to light up and cause some issues. Nothing.

  She followed behind Smokey, leaving the sanctity of the bakery behind her.

  He only had his bike and the idea of riding that thing would give her the perfect excuse to cut this lunch short.

  Smokey didn’t go to the bike. He turned down the street and they headed toward the diner.

  It was just before lunchtime, so as they arrived, there were plenty of seats to take. He waited for her to take a seat before he sat down.

  She glanced around the diner. There were a few customers, but not many. She had no doubt it wouldn’t be long before it completely filled up and people were struggling to get seats.

  “How have you been?” Smokey asked.

  “Good. You?”

  “Good.”

  She reached out for the menu and started to glance over each item when she noticed Smokey was just watching her. “You’re not going to look?”

  “I know what I want to order.”

  “Oh, I haven’t been here that often. I tend to cook for myself. Do you know what’s good here?”

  “I do. Do you want me to order for you?”

  “Yes, please.” She’d scanned part of the menu, and it was like her mind had decided to not understand anything in front of her. The words were all clear. No problem there, it was everything else.

  The waitress approached, carrying her notepad and pen, along with a big smile.

  “Smokey, so good to see you here.”

  “Hi, Olive. You okay?”

  “I can’t complain. You know how it is. Busy man, busy life. What can I get you two?” Olive asked.

  “We’ll take your burger house special with plenty of fries. Make sure to do one of your veggie burgers to go for Harlow. You know what she’s like.”

  Olive wrote it down. “Coming right up. Harlow’s will be ready if you give me a five-minute warning of when you’re leaving.”

  “Great,” Smokey said.

  “I’ll be back.”

  “Burger house specials?”

  “They’re really good.”

  Ava nodded. This was so awkward. She’d never felt this way when they’d been dating. She had no idea what the problem was.

  “Please, don’t be nervous around me.”

  Smokey’s hands were on the table. The tips of his fingers relaxed together.

  “I’m fine. I’m a little surprised about your visit, but I’m fine.”

  “Do you think if you keep saying that you might believe it?”

  Ava chuckled. “Look, this is hard, and I’m trying.”

  “I know.”

  She put her hand on her stomach. “Harlow thinks our baby is going to be a cutie. She also thinks it might be a he.”

  “Boy or girl, our baby is going to be a looker.”

  “You think?”

  “If they’re anything like their mother, then yes.”

  “Smokey, don’t. I know I’m not a looker or anything. Please, don’t insult me like that.”

  He reached out, taking her hand. She hated how nice that felt. His touch surrounding her, making her feel so many different emotions. None of them had anything to do with hate or shame.

  She … missed him.

  Damn it. She missed him so much.

  Ava pulled her hand away.

  “I know that asshole ex of yours did a number on you. What I said that … day. I lied. Everything I said about you was a lie.”

  “We don’t have to do this.”

  “We do. We’re going to have a baby together, and fuck me, Ava, I’m going to need all the help I can get. You think I don’t know how messed up I am? What I did? What I caused?”

  Ava felt her tears well.

  “I took a lifetime of betrayal and I assumed you were exactly the same. That’s on me. I fucked up big time.”

  “I really don’t want to talk about this.” Being out in the open, talking to him about that kind of pain, she wouldn’t be able to contain her emotions for too long.

  He sighed.

  Olive saved them from more pain as she brought out their food. She’d never been more grateful for an interruption.

  The moment the plates were in front of her, she understood why it was the house special. Food was everywhere. Burgers with two, or did she count three burgers? Lots of lettuce, tomato, cheese, and sauce leaked out of the sides. It looked like a precarious leaning tower. That wasn’t all. Macaroni and cheese was also on the plate, with a large order of fries.

  Smokey didn’t reach for his food though. He took her hand, running his thumb across her knuckles. “I know sorry isn’t going to cut it but one day soon, we’re going to have to have that talk.”

  Ava forced herself to look at him. “I know, but I don’t want to have that talk in a diner with people present.”

  He agreed. “Enjoy.”

  With their conversation, her appetite had waned. The amount of food was too much to send back.

  Picking up her fork, she scooped up some macaroni and took a bite. It was so good. Completely unhealthy food, but it was so good, and strangely enough, exactly what she craved. She didn’t know how it happened, but she had finished her food in record time. The fries, macaroni, and burgers were all gone, while Smokey still had some food on his plate.

  “I didn’t realize I was so hungry.”

  Smokey chuckled. “I love a woman with an appetite.”

  “That was so good.” She rubbed at her lips with a napkin, not that there were any leftovers to wipe away. She leaned back and put a hand to her stomach.

  “Good?”

  “Really, really good.” She smiled as he finished off his food.

  “Do you want dessert?”

  “No. Absolutely not. I do
n’t even know how I’m going to be able to move when I head back to the shop.”

  Smokey chuckled. “It feels good to feed you.”

  Ava didn’t say anything.

  Olive came back to fill his coffee. The scent wasn’t making her queasy, but she settled on some iced tea to help her. The fruitier the better.

  “So how is everything going with Harlow?” he asked.

  Ava was slightly surprised by the change in conversation, but she welcomed it. They would have the real talk soon, but until then, she was happy to play it safe.

  “She’s doing really good. I adore her.”

  “Big Dick says she does nothing but talk and can be an irritating bitch.” Smokey winced.

  Ava shrugged. “I love that about her. I don’t have to fill in the blanks. I’m not a very talkative person anymore.”

  “That’s my fault,” he said.

  “Look, Smokey, I’m just … my head is full with a lot of things going on. It’s not always about you. I hope you understand that.” She tried to smile. It was always about him, but she didn’t want to talk about it.

  There was no way he wanted or needed to hear how she stayed up all night thinking about the women he was screwing. He didn’t need to know how she hoped one day she could forget all about what happened. Nor did he need to know how she wished he loved her. He said he did, but she didn’t believe it.

  “How is the club?” she asked.

  “We’re doing good.” He sat up and leaned forward. “Actually, I wanted to let you know I won’t be around much next week. I’ve got to take care of some club business in the city. I was wondering when I came back if you’d be interested in doing some baby shopping.”

  “Baby shopping?” she asked.

  “You know, a stroller, crib, breastfeeding stuff.”

  Her cheeks heated. “You’ve been thinking about this?”

  “I … figured it would be nice to know what we want to do. Breastfeeding is good for the baby, or so I’ve read.”

  She laughed. “I was going to breastfeed.”

  “Good. Good.”

  Ava glanced down at the time and saw how late it was getting. “I really need to be getting back.”

  “Right, of course.” He signaled the waitress for them to start finishing Harlow’s order.