Smokey
Page 21
“What?” she asked.
“It looks amazing. I wish you’d let me do this for you. I don’t like the thought of you decorating anything without me here.”
She went to him, touching his arm. “It’s fine. I don’t mind doing some painting. It gave me something to do.” She’d been thinking about him, wondering what he was doing, imagining all the women who wanted him.
There were plenty of women at the club who would love to be with him.
“What don’t you like about it?” she asked.
If he really didn’t like it, she’d change it for him. They were both having a baby after all. They weren’t together, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t compromise.
She knew how to do it all.
“It just hit me. We’re going to have a baby.”
Ava frowned. “It has only just hit you?”
“You know what I mean. Sure, I saw the ultrasound image and everything, but this is real. There is no backing out of this. We’ve made a baby, and one day soon, we’re going to be able to hold it.”
He put his hand on her stomach and she covered his with hers. “I know what you mean. Some days, I find it all a little surreal, but I love it. I really do. I want this baby so much.”
Smokey cupped her cheek and brought her in close. Her heart started to race and heat flooded her pussy. Need consumed her. She glanced down at his lips.
Would it hurt to have one little kiss?
Ava watched him.
Kiss him.
Sucking the corner of her lip into her mouth, she resisted the temptation.
Each second that passed, she convinced herself to step back and create some distance. She did neither.
She took a step close to him. Her body flush against his.
“Ava?”
She covered his mouth with the tips of her fingers. “Don’t.”
Gripping the back of his neck, she pulled him close, pressing her lips against his. Smokey let go of her stomach and he sank his fingers into her hair. With the other hand, he grasped her back, drawing her close.
The evidence of his arousal pressed against her swollen stomach.
In the back of her mind, she kept screaming at herself to stop. It wasn’t fair.
What wasn’t fair was the loneliness. The pain. Wishing he was close but hating him all at the same time. She hated how they’d turned out.
Each day, she grew bigger with their child, and she felt this distance between them. Smokey had hurt her once, and it wouldn’t take him long to hurt her again. He’d done so last time so easily.
Forgive him.
She couldn’t just forgive him.
He hadn’t trusted her.
He’d pushed her aside.
Ava screamed in her mind for it to shut up. She didn’t care that he’d hurt her. All she cared about were the feelings he inspired at that moment. The way he touched her.
She pushed him back until he was against the wall.
Tugging at his shirt, she eased it up and over his head, throwing it to the side.
Smokey did the same, tearing her shirt open so the buttons flew all over the place. She’d pick them up later.
For now, she wanted his hands all over her.
He cupped her tits, pressing them together, and she moaned. He flicked the catch of her bra, and it fell open. She helped him take it off her. Ava threw it to the floor, and Smokey held beneath her breasts, lifting them up.
She watched him as he leaned in close and slid his tongue across one of her nipples. She cried out.
“No, don’t close your eyes. Look at me. Know it’s me doing this to you.”
Ava couldn’t look away as his tongue danced across her nipples. He held them so close together for each touch. They were so sensitive, she cried out for more.
“Please, Smokey.”
“Tell me what you need. Just say the words and it’s yours.”
She shouldn’t say it. All it made her was a weak woman. She didn’t want to be a doormat, but his tongue. The very essence of him, she couldn’t deny him.
“You, Smokey, please, I need you. Fuck me.”
He released a growl but didn’t take his time removing her clothes. They all fell in a heap on the floor. His hands were everywhere. Touching her face, down her body, cupping her pussy.
When his fingers delved between her slit, she couldn’t take that kind of pleasure. His name was a mantra on her lips.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about you. How I’ve craved for this very moment.”
She had a rough idea because she’d been feeling it too. Even when she hated herself for yearning for him. This man hadn’t trusted her. He’d been the cause of her pain, and yet, as he took her to the floor, she couldn’t think of a single word to say to tell him to stop.
He slammed his lips down on hers, and she cupped his face, never wanting him to let go.
Smokey broke the kiss. His lips created a path of intense pleasure as he glided down to her neck. He had some stubble, and the roughness of it made her melt. The slight pain mixed with the pleasure was almost too much for her.
Down he went, lavishing her tits with equal attention. Sucking on them deeply before he let them go with a plop. He captured her hands, keeping them locked at her side. His lips trailed down her stomach, and he took his time, kissing her rounded bump.
Her pussy was already soaked, so when he got between her thighs, she spread herself open to him. All sense left her as his lips finally touched her, and she knew what heaven was like once again.
****
This wasn’t their beginning.
Smokey knew that.
Even as he knew she would hate herself in a few short hours, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Ava wanted this. She’d begged for this, and he’d be the biggest asshole in denying her.
Watching her regret this would cause him pain, but he’d live with it. What Ava wanted, he’d give her.
Staring at her pretty, swollen cunt, his mouth watered. He slid his tongue between her slit and touched her clit, caressing down toward her hole and circling her entrance. Ever so slightly, he pressed against her, nearly penetrating, but he held himself back, going to her clit.
Smokey sucked her into his mouth, and he groaned, hearing her gasp. Glancing up her body, he found her arching.
He still had a hold of her hands, keeping them locked at her side. She wasn’t fighting him, and he loved having her at his mercy. He let her clit go and went back to her opening. Around and around he circled, tantalizing her. Giving a promise of what was to come.
“Please.” Her moan echoed around the walls.
Her desperation was clear to him.
Pushing his tongue slowly inside her, he made her wait, letting her feel him fill her. What he was going to do with his tongue, and she’d be hungry for more.
He let go of her hands and cupped her ass, lifting her up against his mouth. Smokey got her into a position so her ass was on his open palm and his other hand was free to explore her pussy.
Sliding a finger into her cunt, he dipped in and out, getting himself nice and slick before moving back down to tease across her anus.
She was already so soaking wet that some of her pre-cum had leaked down the crack.
He bit down on her clit and took her hard into his mouth at the same time he pressed against her back entrance.
“Yes, please, yes,” she said.
Ava took his thumb as he rode her higher toward her orgasm. She thrust against his face, danced on his thumb, and when she came, he swallowed her release, loving every second as she spasmed on his thumb.
He allowed her to ride that wave of pleasure, her body finally letting go, and she rested on the floor. Removing his hands, he crawled up her body, licking his lips.
“Tell me you want this,” he said.
It was one thing to give her an orgasm, but quite another thing to take more.
“Yes, Smokey. I want you.”
“Say it,” he said.
H
e wasn’t going to go any further until she told him exactly what she wanted.
She licked her lips. Her body was flush and glowing from the pregnancy and post-orgasm.
“Fuck me. I want to feel you inside me.”
Ava had already removed his clothes when he’d taken off hers. There was no need for a condom seeing as she was already pregnant.
Smokey gripped his cock. He was rock-hard, pre-cum leaking out of the tip as he placed it against her pussy.
At first, he slid between her creamy slit, getting himself nice and wet before he went to her entrance.
He stared into her eyes, not wanting to look anywhere else but at the woman he loved. The woman he’d fucking hurt. The same woman he was intent on winning back. He wasn’t a quitter. There was no way he was going to let her go.
She belonged to him.
Heart and soul.
Her body as well.
Smokey knew he wouldn’t be sated until she finally gave every single part of herself to him, and he’d die making it up to her. He’d never stop trying to be the man she deserved.
Inch by inch, he sank inside her tight, hot pussy. She was so wet, and with each thrust forward, it felt like he was coming home. He’d never experienced this before in his life.
Closing his eyes, he loved every second of it until he was balls deep within her walls. She pulsed around him as she still had aftershocks of her orgasm.
He pressed his face against her neck, allowing him a few seconds to bask in the tight feel of her. She was all he wanted.
At that moment, Smokey hated himself more for what he did. He’d really fucked up when it came to Ava. There was a chance they would never be together, and he couldn’t even stand the thought of being close to her without having her.
Opening his eyes, he stared into hers. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”
Ava reached for his ass and held him to her. “I want this, Smokey.”
Locking their fingers together, he pressed them on either side of her head, keeping her in place as he slowly began to rock back and forth inside her. He started slowly, not going too deep but riding her pussy the way it needed to be, heightening her pleasure.
He shoved her hands above her head and gripped one knee, moving it to just the right angle over his hip so he could get as deep as possible. He did the same with the other.
His thrusts sped up, becoming pounds as he fucked her, going to the hilt within her, owning her. Working her pussy until she cried his name and he felt her come. Little ripples of pleasure rushed through him as her heat surrounded him, tightening, contracting, making him ache.
Smokey didn’t want it to stop, but he knew there was no way he was going to make this last.
Slamming his lips down on hers, he took the kiss he’d been wanting, and she moaned his name, arching up toward his touch. He growled as his release filled her.
He wanted to get as deep within her as possible, but nothing seemed good enough. The pleasure was next level, and as he filled her, she came apart beneath him. Her moans filled the room as he held her.
This was what he’d been missing so much. Being close to her.
Wrapping his arms around her, he pressed his face against her neck, breathing her in, remembering the delicious scent of her.
He couldn’t get enough. As with all things, time wasn’t on his side.
Ava’s hands ran along his back, and he just sensed the ticking of time.
He lifted himself up and stared down into her eyes, smiling at her. She gave him such a sweet smile that he’d cherish always.
“Please, don’t hate this,” he said.
“I don’t. I know I wanted it.”
“But you’re having second thoughts?”
Tears filled her eyes, and she shook her head. Her lips pressed firmly together almost as if she couldn’t stand the thought of talking.
“Tell me, Ava.”
“Why did you do it, Smokey? Why did you put me through that?”
The break in her voice undid him.
“I’ve only known betrayal.”
“From everyone else. Not from me. I was good to you. I loved you.”
He heard the past tense, but he refused to believe it. Even as her words broke apart his entire world, he stared into her eyes, refusing to allow himself to back down.
“I can make you love me again.”
She laughed. “Smokey, you hurt me.”
“I know. You think I don’t hate myself for what I did to you? You think I don’t wake up wondering where the hell you are, wishing you were in my bed, and knowing I did this? I can’t stand the thought of being away from you, Ava.”
“We’re a mess, Smokey. We’re supposed to be having a baby, and now we’ve had sex.” She pressed a hand to her forehead.
“Don’t overthink it. This means we’ve still got something between us. This means we have hope.”
“But I don’t want to have hope.” The tears fell from her eyes. She looked utterly heartbroken. “I want to have a life filled with love and devotion. I don’t want to be second best. I just got out of a marriage where I wasn’t even that. I was used for everything he could get and tossed aside like I was a piece of trash, and it was all my fault. I can’t do that again. I won’t.”
“I won’t do that to you.”
“Smokey, you’ve always said the club comes first. It will always come first. I’m not going to compete with that. We’ll share this baby and maybe friendship with time, but I don’t think we should even consider having anything else between us. It would hurt way too much.”
He wanted to deny it. To tell her she was making a big mistake, but she wasn’t.
He’d done this.
Slowly, he eased out of her, but he didn’t run off. Smokey picked her up in his arms and carried her toward the bathroom. From there, he ran a bath. He had no intention of joining her. All he wanted to do was give her some pleasure and to show her what she meant to him.
With Ava, he was going to have to prove he’d be there always. Ugly Beast was able to prove it with Abriana. He didn’t see why he couldn’t have the same thing with Ava. Time. It was all he needed.
Helping her into the bath, he grabbed soap and a sponge, lathering it up.
“Smokey, you don’t need to do this.”
He put the sponge to her body and began to wash her. “I do. It’s what I want to do.” He ran the sponge all over her body, taking care of her the best way he knew how. After her body was clean, he took care of her hair, rubbing the shampoo in, washing it all out, then the conditioner.
This was why Ava was different. He wanted to do this with her. To take care of her. To love her. He’d never taken the time to truly care for any other woman, but Ava was different. She would always be so to him.
One day, he hoped she realized how much.
Chapter Eighteen
“Man, this storm is freaky,” Harlow said.
Ava agreed, walking from behind the counter to see about eight inches of snow already on the ground, and it was getting thicker fast. “I didn’t even know a storm was forecast.”
“Yep.” Harlow folded her arms. “I’m not going to lie to you, but I really want to go and build a snowman.”
She chuckled. “When you get home?”
“Totally.” She sighed. “My brothers all say I’m a big kid at heart. It’s true. I don’t see the reason to completely grow up just yet.”
“Of course not. Growing up is for losers.” Ava offered her friend a smile. Over the past several weeks, she’d gotten close to Harlow. The other woman was such a sweetheart. She’d even had a couple of sleepovers with Harlow. The woman could talk, and it was nice to have the company. Of course, Smokey still stayed outside for as long as he could. The nights were getting colder, and she wasn’t a bitch. The need to make him suffer lessened when he was in real danger, liking dying of the intense cold.
She had no choice but to open her door and let him in. She’d given him extra blankets and a pillow.
>
Ava never stuck around to hear him making up the bed downstairs. Ever since their … one sexual encounter, they hadn’t spoken about it, nor had there been a repeat. The furniture for the baby had arrived and was waiting to be assembled. Smokey had been too busy with club stuff to have the time to do it.
She’d taken out the instructions, but even she’d struggled to make sense of them. All of that would be saved for Smokey.
“Not that I think you’re a loser.”
Ava laughed. “I know I’m a loser, but I’m proud of it.”
“See, nothing wrong with being proud of your loserness.” Harlow groaned. “One of my brothers is going to turn up. Mom will moan incessantly until they do what she wants.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“I don’t want you to see me as a little girl having to be escorted home by her brother. It will probably be Big Dick. Asshole that he is.”
Ava walked away from the window. The snow was starting to cause her some concern. “You adore your brothers. Each unbearable one.”
“Now that is completely true,” Harlow said. “I wouldn’t want anything to happen to them. I don’t know if they like me.”
“You’re family. Of course they do.”
“You never talk about your family,” Harlow said. “Do you have a close relative nearby?”
“My parents died some time ago, actually. No other relatives. I know they wanted more kids, but it never happened.”
“Oh, crap, I’m so sorry.”
Ava smiled at the woman, knowing deep in her heart Harlow would never hurt her, at least not intentionally.
“I know. That’s life. It’s hard to get used to. There are times I wish they were still alive.” She put a hand on her ever-increasing bump. “Like with this one. I wish Mom could give me advice. I have no idea what I’m doing, and I’m terrified I’m going to raise a serial killer.”
“I wouldn’t worry about that. You’re going to be an incredible mom. If he turns out to be a serial killer, blame his dad.”
Rather than be offended, Ava found herself laughing. “That’s a good one.”
“It’s what I’m here for.” Harlow looked out of the window and made a yuck sound. “What did I tell you. Big Dick. I don’t even know why she bothers to phone him.”