And less than a month before I got married to Miguel.
How could I ever go through with it? Say “I do” to a man I didn’t love now that I had actually been in love?
Wait…
I was in love.
I’d just admitted it to myself. It wasn’t a casual thought. It was the truth.
I loved Ryan.
I needed to tell him now. Even though we could never be anything. Even though we would still say goodbye. I needed to tell him this so that for once, I could know what saying those words to someone I adored really felt like.
Before it was too late.
I place my hand on his thigh, and he put his hand on top of mine. He was so kind, and shockingly, still a perfect gentleman. It baffled me that we had been hanging around each other every day for more than a week, and we still hadn’t had sex. When I’d first met him, I thought that he would try to pressure me into having sex with him, but he never had.
He’d never seduced me.
Maybe, it was my time to seduce him.
But first, I had to tell him something.
“Ry. We need to talk.”
He nodded and turned off the television. “Sure. I can’t believe we only have two more days left together.”
“Me either. But it’s not about that. I don’t want to talk about that now.” The quicksand that was my life, my duties, would swallow me whole before I knew it. But not yet. Not tonight. Tonight, I still had Ryan.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Sex.”
“Look, babe. I’m crazy about you. But I fucking refuse to teach you how to please your new husband or, as he says, “break you in.” His eyes hooded, and a scowl graced his handsome face. “Just the thought of that wimpy, sleazy motherfucker touching you makes me want to slit his throat. Maybe I should have.”
Ah. Ryan was jealous. It would almost be cute if he hadn’t just threatened Miguel’s life.
But this was all my fault. I had gotten myself into this situation. And now there were real feelings involved. How stupid was I to think that I wouldn’t fall for Ryan? I’d known the first time I kissed him that my heart was in danger.
“That’s not it. Not at all. I don’t want to please Miguel.”
I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “I want to lose my virginity to you.”
His eyes bulged. “Come again? You’re still marrying him, right?”
I nodded my head. “Yes, of course. But it doesn’t matter.”
He clenched his fist and looked away from me. “Fuck yeah, it matters. I’m not going to be your lover when you’re married. You know what I think about cheating and cheaters.”
Why wasn’t Ryan comprehending what I was saying? “Ryan, listen to me. I’m not married—yet. And Miguel isn’t a virgin. Why should I save myself for him? I want to lose my virginity to you. Tonight. Now.”
His jaw dropped, but he didn’t say a word.
Perhaps I needed to be more direct.
I rubbed his cock through his jeans. “Let me suck your cock again.”
He pushed my hand away. “What are you talking about? No, not going to happen, Princess.”
My heart ached, and my self-esteem plummeted. “Not exactly the response I was hoping for.”
He stood and ran his hands through his hair. “What the fuck do you expect me to say? You just want me to let you use me before you run off and marry some other guy? No. I refuse.”
I pointed to his face. “Use you? You yourself told me that you were a man whore. That you had slept with hundreds of women. But you won’t sleep with me?”
“Exactly. I didn’t care about any of them. I’ve never cared about anyone. But I care about you!”
Since the day I met Ryan, he had been the pillar of strength. When I was breaking down, crying, hysterical, he had been calm. But Ryan’s jaw was shaking.
Oh. my God. What had I done to him?
This strong man who had never been loved by anyone had finally fallen for someone.
Me.
And now I was going to hurt him.
My body ached like a truck just hit me.
But it didn’t matter. There was no going back. He’d known from day one what he was getting into with me. Hell, he had even admitted that he planned to seduce me and bounce.
Funny how life never worked out the way you wanted it to.
“I want you. I mean it.” I pressed my body against his. “I love you, Ryan.”
His eyes watered and his lips opened. I hoped, I prayed, that he would tell me that he loved me, too.
But he didn’t say a word.
He grabbed me by the waist and kissed me fiercely. He pinned me to the wall as rubbed my nipples.
“Now, Princess.” His voice was husky with lust. “Tell me now if you want me to stop so I can get the hell out of here. I can’t resist you anymore.”
“No, don’t stop! I love you, Ryan. Make love to me. Please.”
He didn’t speak another word. He picked me up and carried me into his bedroom.
Fear and anticipation twisted inside me. I had held on to this romantic ideal of my virginity my entire life. I had pictured candles, a bathtub, champagne, and, most importantly, my husband.
None of those things mattered.
My virginity wasn’t a prize for me to give away to my husband, a reflection of my worth.
No. Not at all.
It was an expression of my love for Ryan.
And no matter what, we would always have tonight.
Ryan pulled my tank top over my head and buried his face in my breasts.
His lips grazed my chest, the scruff on his jaw scratching my skin. When his lips finally covered mine, I was already breathless. Though he was definitely in control, he relaxed and allowed me to lead, submitting to the passionate way I wanted to kiss him. The way I wanted him to kiss me. Through those kisses, I felt he was telling me what he couldn’t say.
That he loved me, too.
My body was already so hot and wet, dying to feel him closer to me. Ever since I met him, I craved his touch, his tongue, his mouth. Everything about him.
And Ryan was a dream come true. He unsnapped my bra and sucked on my nipples. I moaned, and his cock hardened beneath me.
He pulled my pants off in a flash. Within the space of a few seconds, I was completely naked.
He spread my legs wide and devoured my pussy. I ran my hands through his hair, and my back arched as he took me to bliss. As his tongue licked me, I writhed on the bed. In our previous make-out sessions, he had gone so slowly and taken his time.
But he was almost possessed. He gripped my thighs, kissing and sucking on me.
I was so close to coming, but Ryan stopped.
“No, Princess. Not like that. Not tonight. Come here.”
Fire coiled in my belly.
“Last chance, babe. Tell me now to stop.”
I shook my head. “I want you completely.” Now. Forever. But I didn’t dare say those words out loud.
He grinned, and I melted. He grabbed his wallet and pulled out a condom and then placed his wallet back in his pocket. He quickly unbuckled his belt, and his jeans dropped to the floor.
I pulled his boxer-briefs off . . . and stared at him, standing in front of me, naked.
His body fascinated me. His hard, muscular frame seemed to have been sculpted by Michelangelo himself. And his big, beautiful cock beckoned to me.
Nervousness and desire pulsed through me. My cheeks burned from embarrassment; I was so anxious. Ryan was used to sexually experienced women. How could he possibly enjoy being with me?
“Princess, come here.”
He placed his hand behind my neck and gave me a gentle, loving kiss.
I wanted to laugh; I wanted to cry. I wanted him so badly, and I knew deep in my heart that once I went through with this, I would never be the same. Physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Ryan kissed my face and stroked my hair. “I can still stop if you want me
to.”
“No. Make love to me.”
He placed a kiss on my forehead and rolled the condom onto his cock.
Then his hands interlaced with mine as he slowly entered me.
Pleasure spiked with pain shot through me, and I felt a sharp pang. But Ryan didn’t allow the pain to last long. He sucked my nipples until I moaned.
I gasped as the pressure grew between my legs. I stretched around him and breathed deeply.
“You okay?”
I nodded but didn’t speak. He kissed my neck, my face, my chest as he entered me completely.
“God, you feel so incredible,” he gasped.
Our bodies glided together in a rhythm as joy replaced the discomfort. We kissed slowly as he pressed in and out of me.
Then Ryan flipped us over, and I was on his lap as he slowly lowered me down on his cock. At first, the pressure was unbearable, but he kissed me and guided me until my body relaxed.
“You’re so beautiful.”
His hands clutched my bottom as he pulled me into him. I rubbed against him, and I felt incredible. His mouth took one of my nipples, and I threw my head back.
“That’s it, baby. Let go. I got you.”
I lost myself in the moment, in him, in us. I was so close. My breath hitched, and Ryan took over, guiding my movement, pressing me closer and closer to him until I couldn’t hold back anymore. I descended into ecstasy and rode the wave of pleasure with him until we collapsed back down to Earth.
He held me so close and kissed me on the forehead. I never wanted to be apart from him.
We withdrew from me. I looked down beside us—blood-stained sheets. Ryan seemed to notice as well. A proud smile graced his face.
He held me close and kissed me again.
What have I done?
I didn’t regret our lovemaking at all. I never would. It was all I wanted and more. But how could I leave now?
“Hey, look at me.”
I slowly forced myself to make eye contact, blinking back the tears.
“I love you, too, Princess.”
Chapter 24
Ryan
SHE LOVED ME? SHE LOVED ME?
No one had ever told me that they loved me. Ever. Not my mom. My foster parents. Anyone.
Did she mean it? I doubted it.
Fuck, I loved her, too.
But she was promised to another guy. And I had been dumb enough to tell her how I felt too. Now it would be even more painful when she left me.
I went to the bathroom and threw out the condom before quickly returning to her side.
One look at the blood-stained sheets and pride swelled in my chest.
She was mine. She had only ever been mine, no one else’s.
No one had ever been mine, just mine, and I had never been anyone’s. My mom cared more about getting her fix than taking care of me.
Why was I being such a pussy? Giselle didn’t love Miguel. She loved me.
If I let her fly back home without asking her to stay, I’d regret it for the rest of my life.
And like she said, I didn’t live my life with regrets.
She rolled out of the sheets, and I stared at her naked body. I wanted to wake up with her every day. She came back to bed a few minutes later.
I hugged her. “Babe, can we talk?”
“Of course.”
An empty feeling coiled in the pit of my stomach. “I know I don’t have much, but I don’t want you to go home. Stay here. With me. I’ll take care of you.”
She turned away from me. “Don’t, Ryan. Don’t ask me that. You know I can’t.”
I turned her back to me. “Why? Why can’t you? I can make you happy. You love me, for fuck sakes. I love you. You just lost your virginity to me. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Yes, of course, it does. It means everything to me. You mean everything to me. But I can’t move here. I have a duty to my country. To my subjects. What if I asked you to leave the SEALs?”
“That’s different. I can’t. I’m under a contract.”
“No, it’s not different—it’s the same thing. The exact same thing. You have responsibilities to your country, and so do I.”
I knew she was right, but I couldn’t help but think there was a way we could make this work.
“Well, what if you just don’t marry Miguel? Things could change. I don’t always have to be a SEAL.” Once I said that I realized how far gone I was with this girl to even consider giving up my career for her…
Being a SEAL was all I ever had, all I ever wanted to be. If I took that away, I had nothing.
“Ryan, I will marry Miguel. The date is set. We have sent the invitations. The palace has spent so much money on the wedding. I have to marry him.”
My helplessness turned to rage. “Then why did you tell me you love me? And sleep with me?”
She placed her arms around me, and I rested my head on her chest. “Because I do love you. And I am happy that you are the first man I have ever slept with. It was everything I imagined and more. You will always be in my heart, Ryan. It doesn’t matter how much I want to be with you . . . I can’t.”
She was right. We were star-crossed lovers. But no matter how much my head understood, I couldn’t explain it to my heart.
Chapter 25
Giselle
WE SPENT OUR FINAL DAY together making love and taking long walks on the beach. I never wanted to leave.
But today was the day I would say goodbye to Ryan. Forever. I felt that we had lived a lifetime in the past two weeks.
But it was time for my fairy tale to end. I had to go home.
Ryan drove me to the airport. We hadn’t talked much about our future since the night I’d lost my virginity. We had both silently accepted the inevitable.
Ryan parked the car and walked me over to the check-in.
He brushed his hair out of his face. “So, this is goodbye.”
“Yes. This is goodbye.” I didn’t know what else to say. Didn’t want to make this harder than it already was. “Ryan, I want you to know something. You’re a great man. You have become successful against all odds. You are kind, honorable, and sweet. You took your time with me and were always a gentleman. You taught me so much. I’ll never forget you.”
He cupped my face one last time. One last kiss. Our lips met, and I savored every second of his touch.
He finally pulled away, a somber look on his face. “You were right.”
“About what?”
“I’ll never be a prince. Goodbye, Giselle.”
And with that, he turned around and walked out of the terminal.
Leaving me alone with my broken heart.
And I knew I would regret saying goodbye to him forever.
Chapter 26
Ryan
I GOT INTO MY CAR, BLASTED THE stereo, and headed straight to the beach.
How could I have let her go?
I was a fucking Navy SEAL. I could’ve fought harder for her. I was a better man than Miguel. Why did he get to marry her instead of me?
Wait—did I want to marry her?
The idea of marrying some woman I hadn’t even known for a month seemed insane, though some of my buddies married their wives very fast. As a SEAL, we never had time to make strong relationships, which was also why our divorce rate was so high. It was hard to build a lasting relationship when we were constantly deployed.
I had told Giselle over and over that I never wanted to get married. Ever. And that I didn’t want to have any kids.
But was that still true? I loved playing with my buddies’ kids. Maybe it was because I never knew my father. How could I be a good father or husband when I had never had an example of one?
And who had arranged her marriage? Her father? King Rémy? Did he really want his daughter to live a life of misery? Did he know what kind of sleazebag Miguel was?
I doubted it.
I picked up my phone. Erik answered on the first ring.
“What’s up, bro? Di
d she leave?”
“Yup.”
“You okay?”
“Nope.”
“I’m sorry, dude. I remember when Aria left me. I was a mess.”
Understatement of the year. I had to drag Erik out of bed to get him to work on time. And he was my officer.
“I remember. But she showed up in your BUD/S class.”
“Yup. Fate has a way of working things out.”
“Yeah, well, I doubt Giselle is going to leave her life of luxury to become a Navy SEAL. Or to become a Navy SEAL’s wife.”
“But you love her man; I’ve never seen you like this. Did you try to get her to stay?”
“Yeah, that ship has sailed. I begged her to; she said no. She’s a princess. It’s not that easy.”
“Nothing worth doing ever is.”
I paused. No. Love definitely wasn’t easy.
But nothing worth having ever was. I had worked so hard to become a SEAL. BUD/S was legit hell. There were so many nights that I had wanted to quit, but I pushed through, knowing the end result would be worth all the pain and misery to get there.
Giselle was mine. I wasn’t going to let her go.
But I had made a mistake by asking her, offering no solution to her problems.
I needed to talk to her father. The king.
Until she walked down the aisle, I still had a chance.
“Hey, can I get some more leave?”
“No, you just got back from Europe.”
Fuck. Erik was my commanding officer. “Please? I’ll take your duty for a month.”
“When?”
“Now. I have to go stop her wedding.”
“Then definitely not. I don’t want you to get arrested on foreign soil. I can read it now. ‘Navy SEAL gets arrested breaking up the royal wedding.’ No. Didn’t you learn anything from me? Remember when I was in the paper with Aria? I was wearing that fucking mermaid tail.”
“Yeah, dude. That was fucking hilarious.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“Then come with me.”
“You serious?”
“Deadly.”
“Dammit, Ryan.” He paused. I never asked Erik for favors. I was the best fucking SEAL in the platoon. I needed this favor.
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