The Land of Dreams

by Kira Moericke

  Speaking of school…

  I grabbed my phone and went onto Facebook and saw exactly what I had been dreading. There were pictures of me in my Princess Jasmine costume taken from different angles. In the pictures, my face was bright red with embarrassment and there were tears in my eyes as people laughed at me in the background. There were captions such as “Princess Loser” and “The Royal Loser Has Arrived!” Shutting off my phone, I scrunched up my eyes and groaned. There was no way I’d be able to go to school without being the laughingstock.

  Good thing I was eighteen. Since Dad was at work–thankfully–I grabbed my phone and called the school, telling Mrs. Cookle, the school secretary, that I didn’t feel good and wouldn’t be showing up at school that day. Afterwards, I was just about to put my phone back on my nightstand when it buzzed with an incoming text. Bringing it close to my face, I saw the text from my mom. Dread crushed my chest like a giant cement brick.

  Mom: Hey, sweetie, I called u yesterday about the wedding, but got the answering machine. I suppose ur father heard the message. J.J., u’r 18, u do what u want 2 do. And if that is that u don’t want 2 b a part of the wedding, I understand. But if u do decide u want 2 b a part of it, that would make me so happy.

  Ugh! I turned off my phone and dropped it onto my nightstand. I really didn’t want to deal with the Battle of Mom and Dad.

  Maybe, just maybe, I made the right decision on staying in the Land of Dreams after all.

  * * *

  The fresh, crispy scent of autumn filled the air around me as I sat on the steps of the front porch, writing letters about why I had made my decision of staying in the Land of Dreams, without actually mentioning the Land of Dreams. I had written a letter to Mom and Dad already and was working on Alec’s. I’ve finished it, and was reading it over, making sure I had everything that I wanted covered.

  Alec,

  We’ve been friends for nearly all our lives. Remember when we first became friends when you crushed my sandcastle and I pushed you over? Things have been crazy between the two of us over the years, haven’t they? Like, remember when we toilet papered Principal Cosby’s house our Freshman year during Homecoming week? Or when we both got a detention for skipping school to go paint balling with your older brother and his friends? There’s so many memories between us that nothing could tear us apart.

  Not even that kiss.

  In fact, that kiss has made me feel… different. I know I said that I wanted you as a friend and not a boyfriend, but… maybe I was wrong. Maybe, I feel more toward you.

  I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be saying all this to you. Not with what has happened. All I want to tell you is to not worry and don’t blame yourself. It’s just with all the shit with Lindsay and the crap between my parents: It felt like I couldn’t get away from the stress they caused in my life. But now, with the decision I’ve made, I’m happy. I’m in a place where people have only dreamed about.

  A good place.

  A happy place.

  A place where all your dreams can come true.

  So don’t be upset, okay? Because I’m fine. And I want you to be okay. So forgive me for what I did and move on. Find happiness and love and peace. Find joy in all your days, and know that I’ll always be your friend, in this world and the next.

  Your forever-friend,

  J.J.

  I was so absorbed in reading and rereading Alec’s letter, making sure it was perfect, that I didn’t hear the crunching of leaves until a shadow had fallen over me. A figure obscured the warm sun from my view and a familiar voice asked, “What are you doing?”

  I snapped my head up and saw Alec standing a couple feet away from me, his mom van alone in the driveway. He had a small smile on his face as he looked down at me.

  “Uh, nothing,” I replied quickly, snapping the cap back onto the pen and folding his letter into fourths. I really didn’t need him seeing the letter I was writing to him and try to stop me. I had made my decision and I was sticking to it.

  Alec’s smile widened. “Writing a love letter?” Even though he wore a smile, his voice didn’t carry the same emotion. It sounded as if it had a hint of bitterness.

  “No!” I stood up on the step so that I was a couple of inches taller than he was, and stuffed the note in the back pocket of my denim shorts. Sucking in a breath and raking a strand of ebony hair behind my ear, I asked, “What are you doing here?”

  “Well, you weren’t in school,” he replied with a shrug. He let his black backpack slide from his shoulder and drop to the ground with a soft thud. “So I figured I’d bring you your homework.”

  I forced a smile onto my face, because I knew that after tonight, I wouldn’t need to do homework. “Thanks.”

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” The smile slid off of Alec’s face. He eyed me.

  “Nothing.” I doubled blinked.

  “Liar.”

  “I’m not lying,” I pressed, brushing aside my side-bangs. I doubled blinked again.

  “Well, if you’re not going to tell me freely, I think I’m going to have to tickle the truth out of you.” Suddenly, he lunged at me, fingers prepared to tickle.

  “Alec! No!” I jumped from the porch step and ran toward the side yard with Alec at my heels. My feet crunched over crispy gold and brown leaves as I ran around the small maple tree, ducking under a few low, outstretched branches, and made a dash back toward the house, but before I could even come close to the house, I felt Alec’s arms wrap around my waist. I struggled to turn around as his fingers tickled my side, making me scream with laughter. I squirmed in his arm until we both fell to the ground. I couldn’t help but let out a laugh until I realized the position Alec and I were in: Him lying on the ground with me lying on top of him. When our eyes locked, all the laughter drained from us, and I could suddenly feel my heartrate speed up a notch. Then my gaze flashed to his lips, and for a second, I wondered just how they would taste.

  When I looked back at his eyes, I saw him staring at my own lips. He raised his hand to cup the side of my face with his palm as he raised his head up toward mine, and like a magnet, my face bent down to his until our lips brushed together softly.

  I could feel the butterflies stir in my stomach as the small, almost-kiss turned into a real kiss. Alec shifted underneath me until I was the one underneath and he was the one on top. The kiss grew, becoming more passionate, and unlike the time he had kissed me during the fiasco at the Homecoming dance, I didn’t recoil. Instead, I nearly melted on the crunchy grass and leaves beneath me.

  After a moment, Alec lifted his face away from mine so we could both catch our breaths. His green eyes sparkled as he looked down on me.

  “Jaqueline, you’re not mad… are you?” he asked tentatively.

  I shook my head, tangling leaves into my dark hair. “No, I’m not… mad.” But I was nearly breathless. I could feel my heart racing inside my chest.

  Alec’s emerald eyes widened. “So what does this mean?”

  I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck, and pulled his head back down to me. “It means I like you, Alec Griswald.” And as soon as I said it, I realized just how true that statement was. I didn’t even double blink!

  Above me, Alec beamed before he pressed his lips against mine again.

  I tightened my arms around him, knowing this might be the last time I would ever see him again.

  Chapter 21

  Once Alec left after our little make-out session on the lawn, I walked to the bus station and went to Kayla’s house to tell Dharma the decision I had made about staying in the Land of Dreams.

  “What? Jaqueline, no!” Dharma exclaimed once I told her what I planned on doing. “Don’t make the same mistake I did.”

  “But, Dharma, you don’t understand,” I said, getting up from her lavender-colored bed. I started to pace around the small room in frustration. “I can’t deal with all the stuff with Lindsay and my parents. It’s just too much for one person to handle.” I spun around to look at her. “And Reve pr
omised me that he wasn’t a crazy demon who steals soulless bodies.” I started to pace again.

  Dharma pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes with doubt. “And you honestly believe him?”

  I stopped pacing again and turned back to look at her. “Honestly? I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t handle this anymore. I’ve been dealing with Lindsay since eighth grade and the feud with my parents since seventh. I don’t think I can continue to deal with them.”

  Dharma looked at me, sadness filling Kayla’s clear hazel eyes. “I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  “That’s because you don’t understand what I’m going through!” I didn’t mean for my voice to rise. It was just frustrating to not have her understand how it was to live my life. “And besides, I’m not some naïve little girl who’s going to give up her life just because someone tells her that he loves her. I actually have a real reason to stay there.”

  A look of hurt flitted across Dharma’s face, but it was there for only a moment before it was gone.

  “You know what?” I said after a moment. I shook my head, knocking my bangs into my eyes. I shoved them angrily away. “It was a mistake to come here.”

  “Jaqueline…” Dharma started, rising from her computer chair.

  I took a step toward her bedroom door then turned at the waist to look at her. “I guess I’ll see you on the other side.”

  “Jaqueline, wait. Let’s just talk–” She started toward me.

  Spinning around, I hurried out of the room, leaving Dharma alone, and more than ever determined to stay in the Land of Dreams.

  Chapter 22

  “Tonight’s the night,” Reve stated that night when the sky was black and decorated with clusters of glittering stars and an almost full moon. He had a faint shimmer to him–the same as me. He stretched out his hand for me to take. “Are you ready?”

  I forced a smile onto my face, not trusting myself to speak as I hesitantly took his hand. I knew I had been determined to go through with this earlier today, but now that the time was here, I was nervous. Was I making the right decision? What if Reve was lying? What if Dharma was right about all this? What would happen when Mom and Dad found out and read my letters? What would happen to Alec? So many questions drifted inside my head, making me hesitant on my decision.

  Reve must have sensed my hesitation because he looked at me and asked, “Are you okay? You’re not changing your mind, are you?”

  “N–no.” I shook my head and let Reve guide me to the shimmering portal in my doorway.

  He turned to look at me with a small smile on his face. “You sure?”

  I nodded, fearing if I spoke, I’d either double blink or my voice would crack.

  He raised a light blond eyebrow at me in doubt.

  “Really!” I insisted.

  “Okay. If you’re sure.” Then we stepped through the portal and were suddenly in the fun house with cheerful fair music playing from somewhere outside.

  “So, where do you want to do it?” Reve asked, as we made our way out of the fun house. “Some people imagine themselves up on an airplane and jump, others imagine themselves driving into a tree. But it’s up to you. You can do whatever you dream of.”

  Suddenly I remembered what Dharma had said about her death and how she imagined a high cliff with dark, choppy water and sharp rocks below her. It seemed like something from a Jane Austen novel. Instead, I closed my eyes and imagined the sparkly lights of New York City, and imagined myself on a high building, overlooking the breathtaking city at night.

  “Jaqueline!”

  That sounded like Alec, but it couldn’t be. He didn’t even know that the Land of Dreams existed. But what if a Shadow Creature had come and brought him? Before I could open my eyes and check, though, I felt a familiar sensation take over my body, telling me that I was teleporting to somewhere else.

  I felt the cool breeze against my skin before I even opened my eyes. When I opened them, my mouth dropped and my heart picked up a pace. The scene before me was beautiful. Breathtaking. It was picturesque.

  “Wow,” Reve said, dropping my hand. He walked forward to the edge of the building to look down at the streets below. After a moment, he looked back at me, but it was so dark up here that I couldn’t see his face. “I’ve never had anyone do this before.”

  “Well, I’m not like anyone else,” I stated, even though I was becoming jittery. This was it. Once I did this, there was no going back.

  “Are you ready?” Reve asked.

  Swallowing a lump that was starting to build up in my throat, I gave a once-nod. “Y-yes.”

  “Then come.” He held out his hand for me to take.

  With my heart racing, I started forward, one step at a time. I could feel my palms start to sweat and the sudden urge to turn away overcome me. But I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. I had to go through with this. I didn’t think I could be able to go back to the World of Reality where trouble awaited me.

  When I reached the edge where Reve was waiting for me, I looked down and saw the ground far, far beneath me. My head started getting dizzy from the sight of it. I was really, really far up.

  “Soon it will all be over,” Reve said, his voice carrying a smile that sent an unnatural chill to rush down my spine. “And you’ll be able to stay here forever. Just think about it; no more parents, no more Lindsay Fischer, no more mixed feelings with that Alec guy…”

  I wanted to open my mouth and tell Reve that I had settled my feelings for Alec, but instead, I held back. He was right about the parents and Lindsay thing, though. If I did this, I’d never have to worry about them again.

  Sucking in a deep breath to try to calm my racing nerves, I closed my eyes, and lifted a foot, ready to jump.

  Chapter 23

  “J.J. nooo!”

  Alec? This time, I knew I wasn’t imaging it. Hedging away from the edge of the building, I turned around and saw Alec hidden in shadows, several feet away from me.

  “Jaqueline, don’t turn back now,” Reve said at the same time I called out, “Alec?”

  “Jaqueline, don’t do it,” Alec said, coming forward with Dharma–back in her albino form of white hair, pasty pale skin, and fading blue eyes. “You don’t have to do it.”

  “Of course you do,” Reve coaxed in his soft telepathic voice, stepping beside me. “If you don’t, you’re just going to go back to the World of Reality and deal with the feud between your parents and deal with that Lindsay Fischer.”

  A small frown formed on my face. Reve was right. If I didn’t do this, I’d have to face all my problems, and honestly, I didn’t think I could do that.

  I back-stepped a little closer to the edge.

  “Jaqueline, please don’t do it,” Alec begged, his voice pleading. He took another few steps toward me.

  “Don’t listen to him,” Reve said to me. “He doesn’t understand what you’re going through.”

  He’s right again. Focusing back on Alec, I opened my mouth and said in a not-to-confident-voice, “You don’t understand, Alec. I can’t handle Lindsay or my parents anymore. It’s too much for one person to bear.”

  “You don’t have to bear it alone,” Alec said, stepping into the light. I could see that he was wearing the clothes he had worn earlier today; a light gray T-shirt and a pair of faded jeans. He must have fallen asleep in them. “I’m here. I will always be here.”

  “Jaqueline, you know he won’t be enough. He will never truly be able to understand how you feel or what you’re going through,” Reve reminded me.

  Reve was right once again.

  “Alec…” I shook my head. I could feel my body start to tremble, but I didn’t know whether it was from the fear of being up so high, sadness from what I was about to do, or relief that no mattered what happened in my life, Alec was always there for me.

  “No.” Alec came forward and grabbed my hands in his. He pulled me a few feet away from the edge of the building where it was safer. His eyes bored into mine when he said, “I
know you feel that there is no way out of the messes in your life but to jump, but there is. Lindsay will only be around for a couple more months before you never have to see her again. And with the thing with your parents; no matter what you choose to do, they will always love you. You’re their daughter. You can’t just stop loving someone, and believe me, I would know.” He glanced down at our interlocked hands.

  I had a sudden urge to throw my arms around Alec and kiss him. He was right. This was my senior year. After graduation, I’d never have to deal with Lindsay and her wrath again. And with my parents, they will always love me. And if one of them gets all pissy about the decision I had yet to make, I could always stay with the other, even though that might be having to deal with Harold (inwardly shudder).

  And through all this, I had Alec.

  I squeezed his hands, making him look at me.

  “Thank you,” I said softly.

  “Jaqueline, come on,” Reve urged from behind me, his voice tinting with frustration.

  “J.J., please don’t do this,” Alec pleaded. He rubbed his thumbs along my knuckles.

  Taking a deep breath, I realized what I needed to do.

  Using one hand to hang onto Alec’s, I turned to face Reve, who was still standing by the edge of the building, his amethyst eyes glowing slightly in the dark.

  “Reve?” I took a step forward, still holding onto Alec’s hand for support. “I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to stay here.”

  “What?” His form flickered as if he were a lightbulb with a bad circuit. He narrowed his eyes at me into a frown.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologized, “but I decided that there is always more than one solution to a problem, and there is always someone willing to stand beside you through those problems.” I glanced up at Alec and smiled hopefully.