Baby Yours

by Kennedy Fox

  After letting my emotions out at the cemetery, I come home, unpack, and do two loads of laundry. Then I grab Hunter’s dirty clothes and do his too. While waiting for the washer to finish, I clean the kitchen, scrub the floors, clean out the fridge, then straighten up and vacuum the living room and hallway. We weren’t gone that long, but I need something to keep my mind busy because we’re supposed to talk about the Jenna situation tonight.

  Once five o’clock hits, I start dinner, and an hour later, Hunter comes through the door. My heart races, and I hate that after all this time, I’m nervous around him again. Knowing what we need to discuss tonight and my admissions have my nerves in overdrive.

  “Hey wifey,” Hunter singsongs as he walks into the kitchen. I keep my eyes locked on the stovetop as I stir the chicken and Alfredo sauce. “Something smells good.” He opens the fridge and grabs a beer. “Whoa...did you clean in here?”

  I swallow, turning to look at him with a forced smile. “Yeah, I was on a roll after I did our laundry and cleaned the apartment.”

  “Lennon.” He keeps his gaze locked on mine as he takes a sip of his beer. “You didn’t have to do that.” Hunter leans against the door, his eyes boring into me as if something is on his mind.

  “I knew you’d be busy with work and probably wanted to relax tonight.” I shrug, bringing my attention back to the pan. “It wasn’t a big deal. I folded and hung everything up too.”

  “Oh, well thank you.”

  I smile at him briefly. “No problem. Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes.”

  “Great, I’m starving.”

  Laughing, I turn the burner down. “You always are.”

  Hunter gulps his beer, then tosses it into the recycling.

  “I’m gonna change quick. Be right back.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Shamelessly, I watch as he walks out, but he looks over his shoulder and catches me. He flashes a quick wink before he makes it into the hallway and is out of sight.

  Ugh. I squeeze my eyes tight, trying to gain control of my emotions, but I feel as though they’re slipping through my fingers.

  Chapter Nine

  Hunter

  Waking up with Lennon in my arms was heaven, and I hated having to get up and leave. My only motivation was knowing I’d see her after work because even though our fake relationship is over, I still enjoy spending time with her in the evenings.

  Nothing monumental happened at the office while I was gone, and after reviewing the current progress, I left the jobsite pleased. We’ll be finished in two to three months, and we’re on target to meet our planned budget as long as nothing terrible happens. Before lunch, just as I’m sitting at my desk to turn on my computer, my phone vibrates. I unlock it and see a text from Jenna. Considering I rushed her out of the apartment on Sunday, then rejected her call, I’m surprised it took her this long.

  Jenna: Can we talk?

  The dread immediately sets in, but I know this conversation can’t be avoided—not this time and not with what she’s claiming. Her showing up at the apartment again can’t happen, and we have unfinished business to resolve. I think about what to say to her and know it’s a conversation we should have face to face. Sure, I’m an asshole at times, but this is a serious accusation. I ask her to lunch, and we decide to meet in thirty minutes a few blocks away at a small burger place.

  Her being pregnant weighs heavily on my mind as I contemplate exactly what I’m going to say. I check the time, grab my keys, then drive over. When I arrive, she’s already sitting at a booth by the window in the corner. Jenna waves, and I force out a grin and take a seat in front of her. It’s awkward as hell, and I’m grateful the waiter quickly walks up and takes our drink and food order. Moments later, he’s setting down our waters.

  “How was your trip?” She casually takes a sip of her drink.

  “Great. Weather was nice.” I’m not sure how to start the conversation, so I let her talk while I find my words.

  “Listen. I know this entire situation is awkward for you. It is for me too, but we need to discuss the options of what’s going to happen next,” she states.

  “Were you with other people when we were hanging out?” I come right out and ask. Raising my eyebrows, I watch her carefully and notice she’s more tense than I am.

  She opens her mouth, then closes it before exhaling. Jenna’s always been a bad liar, and her hesitation gives her away.

  “You were,” I say.

  “We never agreed to be exclusive, Hunter,” she finally tells me.

  I shake my head. “I didn’t expect you to be. But you can’t be sure I’m the father of your baby if you were with someone else. A few days ago, you were determined that I was, but how can you be, considering?”

  “Based on my expected due date, I figured out when I would’ve ovulated, and you’re the only person I was with during that time,” she tells me confidently.

  “Jenna…” Lowering my voice, I look her straight in her eyes, hoping she’ll see I’m not playing her games. I’m not sure how to word my next sentence because I don’t want it to come out harsh. She’s trying to trap me, and it pisses me off beyond belief.

  “I know you’re the father, Hunter. You have to be.” I can tell she’s getting upset, and it’s the last thing I need right now.

  “I’m certain I’m not. We used protection every single time. I’m encouraging you to tell whoever else you were with that he could possibly be a father because it’s not fair for him not to know.” There’s more to the story on why I’m so confident I’m not, but it’s honestly none of her business. Only Hayden knows.

  Our food arrives, pulling us both away from the discussion. Though it’s the middle of the lunch rush and the restaurant is full, I know this conversation has to happen right here, right now.

  Tears begin rolling down her cheeks. I’m not sure if she’s crying because I refuse to accept this or because deep down she knows someone else could be the father.

  “This is all going to work out,” I say, trying to comfort her but knowing I can’t.

  She shakes her head. “No, it’s really not going to be okay. One drunken night, in a moment of weakness, I hooked up with Craig.”

  Jenna covers her face in embarrassment, and I actually feel for her since that’s her ex who cheated on her before we got together. I understand why she’d be so upset with him being the father. It all makes perfect sense now.

  “He deserves to know, Jenna,” I tell her, then pick up my burger and take a bite. She eats too, and we stay silent while we eat.

  “You could still be the father, Hunter. I haven’t been on birth control since I broke up with Craig months before, and while I know you and I used protection, it’s not foolproof. You can’t know for sure.”

  I grow more frustrated with her, but I try to push it away. Her ex was a piece of shit, and knowing I’m not the dad means he’s back in her life again. It’s not a healthy situation for her or the baby.

  “I do know for sure,” I tell her confidently.

  “So what do you want me to do? Just forget about us? Forget we ever happened? Take your word for it because you don’t want to be the father of my baby?” She snarls, her voice rising and drawing attention to us. I was actually wondering how long it would be until she had a meltdown.

  “That’s exactly what I want you to do. Look, it tears me to fucking shreds to know I hurt you and that you wanted more out of the relationship than I could ever offer. I told you time and time again that I couldn’t give you anything more. Now you’re pulling this and—”

  “It’s because of her, isn’t it?” She searches my face, and I swallow down the food that feels like it’s lodged in my throat.

  I can’t even find it inside me to argue, so I don’t say anything at all.

  “You can deny it all you want, but I could tell by the way you two looked at each other when I showed up. The way you’ve always looked at her. I knew the moment I met her that you had a thing for her. It�
�s more than obvious.” Jenna lets out an annoyed huff, wiping away her tears before they fall.

  My blood pumps faster, and I can feel my pulse pounding in my neck. For years, I believed everyone was fooled by the way I treated Lennon, but apparently, I’ve been transparent, even to Jenna. “What do you want me to say? What do you want from me?”

  Jenna glares at me, and if looks could kill, I’d be dead. She’s hurting, that much I can see, but I can’t be the man to fix it for her. She digs in her purse and pulls out a twenty dollar bill and tosses it on the table. “We’re done here.”

  “Wait,” I say, and she stops for a second. “You have to tell Craig. You need to tell him today so he can be a part of the pregnancy,” I nearly beg, knowing how much she’ll need someone during this time. But it can’t be me.

  “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer, Hunter,” she hisses my name like it’s poison.

  “Looking forward to it.” Picking up my burger, I take a bite and continue eating without a worry in the world.

  She groans, then storms out of the restaurant. Though I know this isn’t over, I let out a relieved breath and finish my fries.

  “You need a to-go box for that?” The waiter looks at the plate of food she barely touched, then hands me the bill.

  “Nah, man. She ain’t coming back,” I tell him, and he shrugs as if he can’t be bothered by it either. I pay, then head back to work.

  When I arrive back to my office, I go straight to my computer to answer emails. Being gone even a few days has put me behind, but I don’t complain. I reply to people for hours, then update my status reports and send it out to the other project managers who helped cover my job.

  When I finally break away from the screen, I realize it’s time to go. As I’m packing my laptop in my bag, my boss stops and actually gives me a compliment on the project. Considering he says positive things to his employees as if he might get struck by lightning, it makes me feel good as hell. I walk out to my truck with a smile on my face because even though lunch was a disaster, it’s been a good day otherwise. I’m almost convinced it started on the right foot because I woke up with Lennon in my arms this morning.

  Yesterday, I told myself that what we shared in Utah had to stay there. We accomplished what we wanted and convinced her parents, which meant my job of playing husband was done except for the Instagram photos. When we walked into the apartment, I’d accepted it was over until she texted me to lay with her. Thinking about how she instantly falls asleep when I’m close has me grinning like an idiot. I wanted it as much as she did. My bed is too damn sad and empty. The thought of her consumes me the rest of the drive home.

  I walk into the apartment that’s squeaky fucking clean and find Lennon in the kitchen making dinner. Grabbing a beer, I watch her and notice her trying to avoid eye contact. She mentions dinner will be ready, and I excuse myself to compose my thoughts. When I walk away, I look over my shoulder at her and catch her staring, then shoot a wink her way. Blush meets her cheeks, and I hold back a chuckle. Lennon is as transparent as me, apparently.

  I change into some workout shorts and a T-shirt, then walk back into the kitchen where Lennon is scooping chicken fettuccine Alfredo onto some plates. I grab forks and napkins, and she follows me to the kitchen table. As we eat, I can tell something’s on her mind.

  “What is it?” I ask, shooting her a smirk.

  She shakes her head and continues to focus on her pasta.

  “Come on. I know something’s up. I know you, Lennon. Plus, I haven’t seen the apartment this clean in years,” I tell her and watch her face soften.

  “Fine,” she huffs. “I’ve been thinking about the Jenna situation all day. Let me first say that I trust you. I do. I trust you as much as I trust my sisters, so it’s not that. I just have this guilt about you helping me with the baby when Jenna is all alone, doing it on her own, and the father of her baby is alive and well. As much as I really don’t like her, it’s not right.” Her eyes don’t meet mine. She goes back to her pasta, studying it like it’s a Picasso painting.

  “I get it. I hear you. But it’s one hundred percent not mine,” I say, recalling the conversation I had earlier with Jenna.

  “How do you know? I have to know how you know.” Lennon finally looks at me, and all I want to do is swim in the depths of her baby blues.

  I suck in a deep breath and release it. Regardless of how hard it is to admit, I know I have to tell her. The silence draws on, but she gives me the time I need to find my words.

  “Okay.” I nod. This is embarrassing as hell, which is why I didn’t tell Jenna. She’s the last person who needs to know my personal business. “When I was in college, I was short on money and decided to donate my...sperm. After some initial testing, they noticed my counts were low,” I explain, watching her.

  “You’re sterile?” she asks, searching my face.

  “No, but my sperm count is abnormal. Hold on,” I say, getting up and leaving her shocked at the table. I walk to my bedroom and search through the top drawer of my desk and find the envelope. After I find a pinch of courage, I go back and hand it over, but I don’t sit down as I watch her take it with a shaky hand. She pulls the papers out and reads them.

  “I got a second opinion shortly after and got the same results. It’s been my reality ever since I found out,” I tell her, resting both hands on my hips. “Not exactly a conversation starter, though.”

  The sadness on her face cuts straight to the bone.

  “I’m sorry. I’m—” She chokes up.

  “It’s okay.” I see a few tears escape, and it practically destroys me that she’s crying for me.

  “You may never have a family,” she says, covering her mouth.

  I suck in a deep breath. “I have you, Lennon. You’re all I need.” My stance softens as I watch her emotions bleed for me.

  She folds the documentation and places it back in the envelope, then pushes it away like it’s poison. “Wait. Is this why you’ve been so willing to be here for me and the baby? I’ve been asking myself why after all this time you’d do this and...” Lennon trails off.

  I know she doesn’t mean it the way it came out or maybe she does. I tense up, not sure how to respond, but I’m offended. Her words make it seem as if I’m using her or something to have a baby, which is so fucking far from the truth. I already feel like less of a man because I can’t give anyone a family, but for her to think I’ve only been nice to her to have one is absurd.

  “Are you serious? How could you think that?” My questions come out harsher than I intend, but my emotions and adrenaline are high.

  Lennon pulls her bottom lip into her mouth. “Hunter, no. I don’t think that.” She pulls her chair back, then stands in front of me. “I’ve just been trying to figure out why you’d do all this for me, considering our past and how much you hated me. I know we’ve grown close, and we’re friends now, but why come up with the fake marriage, say you’re the father, and all of it? Why would you pretend for me unless you had an ulterior motive?”

  I didn’t expect to have this conversation today, but fuck it. I’m tired of holding it all in. She doesn’t realize the avalanche she started.

  “Pretend?” I ask, my tone harsh and growing louder. “The time we spent in Utah was more real to me than anything, Lennon. If you haven’t figured it out by now, the way I feel about you, the way I’ve always felt about you has been real since the moment I met you. Sorry to disappoint you, but I wasn’t faking shit.”

  “Wait, what?” She steps back as if I’d just slapped her. She’s confused as hell, but after all this time, how can she not see it? “What do you mean?”

  My heart is pounding, and I’m no longer calm. Waving my hand in frustration, I continue, “Why do you think everyone made so many comments about how in love we looked? About how they could see the love between us? It’s because I don’t have to act when I’m with you. It was all real for me. Maybe you were going along with the script, but I wasn’t pretending, Lennon.
” I need to settle my nerves and slow my breaths, but now that I’ve opened my emotional baggage, there’s no stopping. “And I know it’s fucked up. I know it is. But I’m selfish, especially when it comes to you.”

  “You weren’t pretending...?” She says the words slowly as if she’s repeating them for herself. “What do you mean since the moment you met me?” She blinks, then looks up at me, her expression hardening. “What the hell does that even mean?” Lennon’s voice raises until she’s nearly yelling.

  I don’t think, I just speak, waving my hand in the air as I make my points. “You didn’t notice I took every opportunity to kiss you, be near you, hold you? Even when no one was around, I couldn’t help it. I told myself we were pretending for your family, but that wasn’t the truth. I couldn’t stop kissing you even though I knew better. I fucking knew I was crossing a line, but you were too. You kissed me like you’d been waiting for it, like you couldn’t hold back either. You can lie to yourself all you want, Lennon, but I know you reacted to every single touch. It wasn’t just me.”

  She opens her mouth to say something but then clamps it shut. She looks like she wants to slap the truths right off my face. Whether or not she wants to admit I’m right, I know I am. She could’ve pushed me away or told me to stop anytime we were alone. If she was uncomfortable with the situation, she never made it known. She moaned against me, arched her body, and even held on tighter each time we were close. I know it’s not one-sided, but until she admits it, I’m not going to keep acting like it was no big deal. It was a big fucking deal to me.

  This is not how I expected her to react or how I wanted shit to go down, but I deserve it because of how wrong this situation is. She directs her attention to the table, nostrils flaring, and grabs her half-eaten plate of pasta and takes it to the kitchen, setting it in the sink.

  “You need to eat, Lennon,” I say, following her and not allowing her to escape this discussion.

  She turns and looks at me, then within a few steps, she points her finger into my chest. “You need to stop telling me what to do.” Her breasts rise and fall as I look into her eyes. “And I’m still waiting for a goddamn explanation as to why you treated me like shit for two years.”