The Jameson Brothers Bundle

by M. Robinson

  He smiled, chuckling, “I know, pretty girl.” Setting me at ease.

  I genuinely smiled back for what felt like the first time since I’d woken up in the hospital. Maybe it was the light blue shade in his eyes that was so damn enticing, or his smile that lured me right in. He was extremely handsome in that rugged, hard edge kind of way.

  I took in his black suit, questioning, “Are you here for the funeral?”

  His smile abruptly faded, making my stomach drop right along with it. Thinking I had just said something wrong once again. I hated that feeling. Especially knowing I was the reason for the hasty look that pushed away his beautiful features. Replacing them with the same pained expression I seem to cause everyone anytime I open my mouth.

  He peered down at the ground, kicking the dirt around with his shoes like he was contemplating what to say next. Finally, he faintly nodded his head. Silently answering my question, but he still didn’t look me in the eyes.

  “You’re not like my brother from another mother, right? Because I guess I already have one of those,” I shyly laughed, trying to lighten the mood again. Hoping it would work.

  He grinned, glancing back up at me through the slits of his eyes with a certain gleam hiding behind them. “I look like someone who could be related to you?”

  My gaze shot to the tattoos taking over his neck, peeking out through the collar of his black button-down shirt. Continuing down to his hands, quickly realizing his body was probably covered in ink.

  Making my stomach flutter for entirely different reasons.

  I needed to change the subject, so I asked, “What’s your name?” Wanting to know who he was.

  He arched an eyebrow, wavering for a few seconds before he responded with, “Noah. But you used to call me Rebel.”

  “How do we—” The double doors to the church flew open, cutting me off. Both of us came face to face with my parents’ as they walked out of the service, followed by my family. They stopped abruptly when they saw us together. Peering from me to Noah and back to me again, as if their eyes couldn’t settle on one of us for very long.

  Except my father's, his never shifted. They stayed murderously narrowed in on Noah.

  “You little sh—”

  “Lucas!” Mom interrupted in a harsh, demanding tone, grabbing hold of him. Stopping him dead in his tracks from stepping any closer to Noah. “This is not the time, nor the place!”

  “Half-Pint—”

  “Don’t you Half-Pint me! You calm yourself down, now! Unless you want to take it up with me later!”

  My eyes widened, taken aback by my dad’s actions. Confused by the turn in events. Wondering why he wanted to go after Noah in the first place? Where did all this unexpected hostility stem from? I was more in shock by the fact that my dad reluctantly listened to my mom. Causing her to let out a sigh of relief.

  I was about to ask why he was behaving that way. Anxiously needing to know the answers to all the questions that were suddenly plaguing my mind. But the clicking sound of heels came up from behind me, pulling my attention to the same woman who was sitting on the other end of the church. She walked right up and stood beside Noah.

  At least one of my questions was finally revealed, I no longer had to wonder who she was. It was obvious she was his mother, they had the same piercing blue eyes.

  She didn’t waver. “I read in the paper that the service for the baby was being held today. I apologize if our presence has caused you anymore grief, Mr. and Mrs. Ryder,” his mom sincerely expressed in a sad tone, making me even more confused by what the hell was going on. She looked over at me with the same comforting smile her son had shown me minutes ago. “It wasn’t our intention to hurt you either, Mia. I’m sorry if we did.”

  “Not at all,” I reassuringly replied, still completely caught off guard. “I was actually enjoying Noah’s company.”

  “Sweetie, do you remember him?” my mom questioned, bringing our attention to her.

  I hesitantly shook my head no, knowing Noah was staring right at me.

  “It’s alright, Mia,” Noah chimed in. “Just means we gotta make all new memories. That’s if it’s alright with your parents’, of course.”

  Before I could give what he was saying too much thought, his mom added, “That’s why Noah chose to stay outside while I paid respects for the both of us. I wanted to at least be able to say goodbye for him. He didn’t mean any disrespect.”

  “It’s okay, Mrs. Jameson. Noah has a right to be here. You both do,” my mom interjected, pausing to let her words sink in. “You are welcome to come to the burial service, too. We will be heading over to the Oakdale Cemetery over on North Fifteenth Street in a few minutes.” She stepped forward, standing directly in front of Noah. Her face frowned, taking him in for a few seconds before she softly said, “I’m so sorry, Noah. I know you’re hurting. The baby was just as much a part of you as she was of Mia. It wouldn’t be right to keep you from finding your peace as well.”

  I jerked back, my eyes widening. Finding it hard to breathe, feeling as though my chest was caving in on me. “Oh my God…”

  Noah and I locked eyes as if we were the only two people standing there. Everyone else just faded into the background. Out of sight. Out of mind.

  Uncovering the one answer I wanted to know the most all this time.

  It all made sense now. The expression on my family’s faces when they saw us together. The look that was still in my father’s eyes, glaring at him. The way his mom provided me immediate comfort when we were inside of the church.

  Especially, the instant connection I felt with him. The second we laid eyes on each other.

  Every last look.

  Every last feeling.

  Every last emotion he pulled out of me.

  “It’s you…” I finally breathed out, breaking the silence between us. Never realizing I was standing with…

  The father of my baby this entire time.

  NINETEEN

  *Creed*

  “Missing Oak Island native, Mia Ryder, who was found two weeks ago will be laying her newborn baby to rest this Saturday at the Oakdale Cemetery at noon…”

  Now the day had come to lay Madison to rest. At the exact same cemetery where Autumn’s memorial was located. The irony was not fucking lost on me. I hadn’t slept all night, staring at the obituary I held tightly in my goddamn grasp. Spending the entire evening at the clubhouse in the darkness of my room, drowning my fucking regrets in a bottle of Jack. I knew they’d eventually say their final goodbyes to baby girl, but what bothered me the most about that obituary, was that no one knew she had a name.

  Not even her mother.

  I spent all morning telling myself I’d pay my respects to Maddie after the funeral, when everyone was gone. When it was just her and I, but the heart wants what it fucking wants. For hours I battled my own worst enemy inside, wanting to be there for Mia. Needing to be there for Mia, even if she didn’t remember what I meant to her.

  I remembered.

  “Who are you?”

  “Pippin, what do you mean who am I?” I questioned, thinking this couldn’t be fucking happening.

  She weakly shoved her hands onto my chest, trying to push me away. Shaking her head to break free from my hands that were still placed on the sides of her face. “Pippin? Who’s Pippin?”

  Before I knew what I was doing, I found myself pulling up to the cemetery just after one with a new set of fucking demons strapped firmly on my back. Failing miserably at keeping my shit together. I parked my bike as close as possible to where the burial was being held, still trying to stay out of sight, though. The last thing I wanted was to fuck up any more of Mia’s life, but I needed to see her at least.

  It had been too fucking long since I last laid eyes on my girl in her hospital bed, two weeks ago. Picturing nothing but her face as I backed away from her without even putting up a fight. McGraw had kicked me the fuck out of her room, having one of the officer’s escort me out of the hospital, threat
ening me to stay the fuck away from her.

  Or else.

  I jumped on my bike and left, even though it took everything in me not to haul ass back into her room and make her remember who I was.

  It took McGraw less than a day to call the MC into the police station for questioning, after Mia woke up. I walked in with the club’s lawyer, refusing to answer one goddamn question. That’s what I was paying Leo a fuck load of money for. He was Martinez’s bitch when he was alive, and if he could get him acquitted for all his bullshit, our case should be a breeze. Leo could lie to them all he wanted, but I refused to do it anymore.

  Trust me, McGraw wasn’t fucking thrilled about it, but he was aware I knew the law as much as he did. I had every right to let my lawyer speak for me. Especially, since none of us were under arrest or detained for anything. We were just there as law abiding citizens, doing our part to solve the case in Mia’s disappearance.

  Much to McGraw’s fucking disapproval.

  By the time I made it to the funeral that afternoon, the parking lot was empty. Most of the guests had already left. Only a few remained scattered around, more than likely trying to give Mia some privacy while still trying to be there for her family. Knowing they’d probably need their support. After about five minutes I saw the last guest say their goodbyes. I didn’t see Mason or Bo anywhere, not even her cousins, just her uncles and her Aunt Lily. The paper had mentioned there would be a luncheon at the Ryder home after the funeral. I assumed it was where everyone headed, needing to get shit ready for the guests. Knowing it would only make Mia even more unsettled.

  It was blatantly obvious she was hanging on by a very thin fucking thread. Standing out in the rain, staring at the small casket in the ground. She looked so confused and helpless, so overwhelmed and exhausted. So fucking tiny and frail. As if she hadn’t slept since the last time she was in my arms. Laying in my bed at the safe house. Giving me hope that maybe in the back of her mind, in the dark place where she had imprisoned my existence, she might have missed me, too.

  The nights had been the fucking hardest for me. Lying in bed wide awake with nothing but darkness all around me. Yearning to have her in my arms, pressed up against me. Mostly, missing the way I could kiss her whenever I wanted, smelling her addicting fucking scent of vanilla mixed with plain ol’ Mia.

  As much as I tried to stay busy, too consumed with revenge, she was never far from my thoughts. Neither were her words from the night she fucking finished me off.

  “Baby—”

  “Don’t call me that... Who are you? You’re scaring me… Where am I?”

  “Jesus Christ, babe—”

  “Let go of me… I don’t even know you… Get out of here… Now!”

  Those were the last words I heard come out of Mia’s mouth before her mom and McGraw walked back into the hospital room. She calmed down as soon as she saw them, evidently knowing who they were. I stood there in a state of shock, realizing it was just me she didn’t recognize.

  I shook off the memory as I sat on my bike in the rain at the cemetery, watching from afar. Wanting to remember everything about this moment. The way her hair blew in the wind, the way her small frame tried to keep it together. Except, I could physically feel the way she was breaking apart inside. She was no longer the girl with the big, bright smile or the contagious fucking laugh. She was as empty as I was, alone and lost. For the first time since we met, we were now one and the same. Making me hate myself even more for that. Maddie may have been the one they were putting to ground that day, but Mia was already ten feet under.

  Both because of me.

  All I had left was my memory of the girl who used to fucking love me.

  I got off my bike, removed my gun and cut and threw them on the seat, not giving a fuck it was raining. I lit up a cigarette, needing to stop my mind from going fucking stir crazy. Maybe that was why I didn’t see it, when I should have known. I should have felt it or expected it. I could have been better prepared. I could have handled things differently.

  Now I’ll never fucking know.

  I inhaled a long, hard drag from my cig before gazing back up at Mia. Never imagining what I would see. I never thought it would come to this, or maybe I had and just chose to fucking ignore it.

  Pretend like it wasn’t there.

  My core sank, my chest heaved, and I felt my face suddenly pale. “The fuck?” I whispered to myself, knowing that this would be the moment where I would no longer be able to pretend.

  Watching it unfold right in front of me.

  Noah come up behind Mia, murmuring something in her ear, causing her body to lay lax against his. Sending my mind spiraling down a road to nowhere that I knew would end here.

  “This is from me to you. So you can always remember me. I’ll always remember you. Okay? That’s my courage patch.”

  Noah didn’t waver, turning her to face him. Grabbing onto the sides of her face, he started to brush away her tears with his thumbs. Mia softly smiled at him like she used to smile at me, instantly melting into his touch.

  Did she remember him but not me?

  “How many tattoos do you have?”

  “Too many to count.”

  She softly smiled. “I can count them. I mean… if you wanted to know how many you had, I could count them for you.”

  Noah smiled back at her, holding her pretty face tighter in his grasp. He leaned in and kissed her forehead, causing Mia’s breath to hitch and her lips to part.

  Did she always feel this way for him and me?

  “I wanted to see you, okay? That’s all. I saw you from the window inside. I haven’t seen you in a really long time, over a year actually. I missed you.”

  “Gonna be fuckin’ gorgeous one day, that’s for damn sure. Slayin’ hearts. Boys linin’ up out the door for you. Your old man knows it, too. It’s why he keeps you under lock and key. Doesn’t want to end up behind bars for beatin’ ass. Don’t blame him either. You’ll meet a cocky little shit who’ll promise you the world. You ain’t even gonna remember me.”

  Her breathing hitched and her lips parted. “I’ll always remember you.”

  Noah pulled away, putting some distance between them. Without giving it a second thought, Mia threw her arms around him as if all she needed was him.

  Did she ever need me?

  “Can I write you?”

  “Write me?”

  “You know, with a pen and paper. Like pen pals. I’ll write you. You write me back. So you know you have a friend waiting for you when you come back home.”

  “We’ll see, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  I stood and she threw her arms around my waist, like she never wanted to let me go.

  Mia tucked her head into his chest, and Noah wrapped his arms securely around her, holding her tighter against him. Shielding her face from the rain. He kissed the top of her head like she had been his all along. Picking up her off the ground, making their bodies becoming one.

  Did I ever fucking exist for her?

  “Wha—” I threw her over my shoulder, walking toward the lake.

  “Wait! What are you doing? This isn’t fair! You’re bigger than me! NO! I don’t want to go in there, Creed! I’m wearing a pretty dress! Please!”

  “Beggin’ won’t work in this situation, Pippin. Shoulda’ thought of that before you decided you wanted to go to war with a soldier. I don’t lose.”

  “I’m sorry! I was just playing! Put me down! Please!”

  “Alright, only cuz you asked so nicely.” I threw her into the lake.

  They finally pulled away from each other with tears streaming down their faces. Staring intently into each other’s eyes like they’ve always loved each other. Like she was yearning for him to kiss her.

  Did she ever really love me?

  “All I wanted was for him to kiss me! To experience what every other girl has already done! You took that away from me, you asshole! You had no right! You ruined my fairy-tale ending!”

  We star
ed intently in each other’s eyes before I kissed her, murmuring against my lips, “Gave you your first kiss, now stop fuckin’ bitchin’.”

  I leaned forward, placing my hands against my bike, needing the support to hold me up. Bowing my head, about to lose my shit. I shut my eyes trying to reel in my fury, feeling like I just took several goddamn bullets to my fucking heart.

  “I love you, Creed. I’ve always loved you.”

  I felt a solitary tear slide down my face as I let my mind and body go to the dark place inside of me, where I’d lived all my fucking life. I don’t know how long I stood there with my heart pounding, my ears ringing. Bleeding the fuck out. Not saying a word, not moving a muscle. Frozen in fucking place. Fighting back the compelling need to hit something.

  Or more like someone.

  Out of nowhere, moving on pure instinct, emotion, and feeling, I looked back up. Locking eyes with Mia from across the lawn as if she felt me, too. Noah’s back was still turned. He no longer owned her undivided attention.

  I did.

  He turned around, following her stare. Instantly jerking back when he saw me, hunched over on my bike, fucking waiting. Mia didn’t hesitate making her way over to me. Each step more determined than the last. One by one bringing her closer, never once breaking our connection. As much as I wanted to run to her, I couldn’t. Her eyes always showed me the truth. She still didn’t know who I was, but it didn’t mean her heart wouldn’t remember.

  I owned it.

  It belonged to me.

  Proving it with her intense stare, answering all my questions and doubt with each step that brought her in front of me.

  “You…” she whispered loud enough for me to hear. “You were in my hospital room. How do you… who are you?”

  I resisted the urge to pull her into my arms, tell her I loved her, show her how much she meant to me. How much I meant to her. Yearning to just fucking hold her, feel her, fucking love her.

  So I simply spoke the truth, “Whoever you want me to be, Pippin, as long as you remember the man.”

  Her eyes glazed over, it was quick but I saw it. I was still inside her, still a part of her. Mia’s mind may not remember me, but her soul did. Deep down she knew who I was, and right then and there I vowed to fucking figure out how to make her come back to me. There was no living without Mia, there never had been for me.