Six Merry Little Murders

by Lee Strauss et al.

  “I’m sorry, Lottie.” He presses a hot kiss to my forehead. “Let me call for help.” Noah does just that. In a moment it seems as if I’ve been transported into Everett’s arms and the entire place is crawling with deputies from the sheriff’s department. Both Noah and Detective Ivy Fairbanks are at the bottom of the ravine, analyzing the scene from every angle.

  “She was pushed, Everett.” My breath comes out in long powder-like plumes. “The fence snapped right there.” I’m quick to point out the jagged pieces of wood that alone look as if they could cost someone their life. “I bet it was her soon-to-be ex-husband. They went after each other just moments before. And he threatened her. I was there. I heard everything.”

  Everett takes a breath and presses those deep blue eyes into mine. “You might be right, but I think we should keep any theories we have to ourselves for now.” He nods to the blooming crowd growing alongside us. “We don’t want to start any rumors.”

  Waffles lets out an egregiously loud meow and I startle as if waking.

  “Oh, my poor kitties,” I say, carefully extracting one from Everett’s arms. I just about forgot they were here at the tree lot with us, what with the blind terror that struck as soon as I saw poor Tamara’s body. “My mom and my sisters are here. I’ll have them take Pancake and Waffles home for me.”

  Everett’s head inches back a notch as if he were the one who were startled now.

  “Lemon, I suggest I take you all home. There’s no point in either you or me hanging around.”

  “Are you kidding? I’m a witness. I can help. I need to go find Scott and make sure he doesn’t get away—that he doesn’t get away with murder.”

  Noah and Ivy pop up next to us and Noah grimaces as if he heard every word.

  He shakes his head. “No can do, Lottie. You found the body. You’ve done plenty. The deputies are cordoning off the area.”

  Ivy smirks my way as her luscious crimson locks shimmer in the moonlight. Her features are well-chiseled and she has legs for days, but it’s her confidence and acumen as a detective that I’ve always admired about her. What I don’t admire is the fact she’s always doing her best to hoard Noah.

  Okay.

  Fine.

  She gets a pass in that respect because they’re partners.

  “We’re asking everyone to go home, Lottie.” She manufactures a tight smile that disappears as quick as it came. “And I’m asking you, personally, to stay out of this investigation. Things will move a lot smoother if we don’t have you nosying around and asking questions. In the event you weren’t aware, people get skittish when they think they’re being probed. One wrong move and the killer could run free forever.”

  “Killer?” a female shrills from behind and we turn to find Bonnie standing there with Joyce, Stacy, and Lainey a few feet behind.

  “Lainey.” I dash over to my sister and pull her into an embrace with Waffles sandwiched between us.

  Bonnie, Joyce, and Stacy all let out a morbid howl at the very same time and it sounds like a horrid aria.

  “He’s done it!” Stacy cries. “Oh my God.” She’s quick to bury her head in her hands and Lainey speeds over to help her old friend.

  I shake my head at the sight as tears come to my eyes. “It’s an open and shut case.” I look to Noah and Ivy. “Find Scott. I think you’ll have your killer.”

  A set of heavy footsteps stomps in this direction and the entire lot of us turns to find Scott barreling this way,

  “What’s happening?” he bellows. “Is it true? Is Tamara dead?” He stops just shy of the broken fence and looks down at the scene, his face contorting into a genuine look of terror. “My God. Did she jump?”

  “No!” Joyce riots in his face just as Noah jumps in and pulls her away from him. “You did this! You pushed her to her death! And now you’re going to pay.” She shoves Noah off of her as she backs away, her eyes still pinned with hatred over Scott. “I’ll make sure justice is done. You’re going away for a long time, mister. I’m hoping forever.” She takes off for the tree lot once again and Bonnie is slow to follow.

  Scott turns to the crowd of onlookers, his eyes growing wider by the moment.

  “I didn’t do this.” He raises his hands as if it were a stick-up. “I’m innocent. I don’t know how she got to the bottom of that ravine. But it wasn’t me who put her there.”

  Noah nods as he and Ivy shuffle Scott off to the side and begin their interrogation.

  I shudder as I lean against Everett. “Boy, that was ugly.”

  “I’d have to agree with you. Hopefully, this will get straightened out quickly.”

  “Straightened out?” I balk up at him. “Everett, I don’t care how much he protests. The man is clearly guilty.”

  Everett pulls his lips back, no smile. “Lemon, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years in law, it’s that no one is guilty until proven so.”

  I don’t need proof. But I don’t dare say that out loud either.

  Before we know it, an entire legion of deputies shuffles us all out of the woods as they block the area off with bright yellow caution tape.

  The crowds at the tree lot scamper in every direction at record pace, and yet somehow in the melee I spot Mom and her best friend, Chrissy Nash.

  “Mother!” I speed over, dragging poor Everett along with me. “Mom, I need you to do a huge favor. Please take Pancake and Waffles home for me.” I hand her Pancake and she pulls him close to her.

  “Lottie? What’s happening?” She cranes her neck past me. “Hello, Judge Baxter.” She gives a playful wink. My mother, Miranda Lemon, is a bona fide tease and a flirt. She’s also an all-around joyously wonderful person. Both she and Chrissy share the same shoulder-length blonde waves, the same porcelain complexion, and open features.

  “Ladies.” Everett nods to my mother and Chrissy. “I’m afraid there’s been a homicide.”

  They both let out a yelp at once.

  “Oh my goodness.” My mother pulls me in by the collar of my parka. “Please tell me you did not find the body.”

  I wince because, let’s face it, we both know I did.

  At this point, it’s sort of my thing.

  “Oh, Lottie!” She stomps her foot into the snow as if disappointed in me.

  Chrissy leans in, her bright red lips forming a perfect O. “Who was it? Was it someone we know? My God, it wasn’t Harry, was it?”

  Harry—as in Mayor Harry Nash is Chrissy’s ex-husband. They finally divorced after years of poor Chrissy tolerating his philandering ways. But they have three grown children about my age, and I’m sure she wouldn’t wish anything so grisly upon him.

  I think.

  I’m just about to answer when a spark of light erupts from behind them, and sure as Christmas snow, that supernatural pooch makes his ghostly reprisal for the evening.

  “Noel!” I hiss so loud half the panicked masses turn my way.

  “Noel?” Mom parrots as she and Chrissy exchange a confused look. “I’m afraid I don’t know her.”

  “It was a her,” I say quickly, losing the pretty little poltergeist amongst the crowd. “It was Tamara Gray. Someone pushed her off the overlook. We’re pretty sure it was her soon-to-be ex-husband.”

  Chrissy gasps. “Scott?”

  Mom tosses a hand up and nearly drops Pancake. “Say it isn’t so! What is this world coming to? And all of this at Christmas, of all times.”

  “I know.” I glance to Everett a moment. “So, Mom, I need to be here in case they need me for questioning.” I take Waffles from Everett and hand him to Chrissy. “Please take the cats back to my place. Mom, you have the key. If you could leave the lights on for the cats, I’m sure I’ll be home soon.”

  “Will do.” Mom pulls me in for a quick embrace and the scent of lilacs permeates my senses. “Oh, and before I forget, Chrissy and I are hosting a speed dating event at the B&B weekend after next. Would you mind catering the event for us?”

  “Please, Lottie.” Chrissy leans
in. “The chocolate fudge they served here is amazing. You must give me the recipe.”

  “I sure will. And I will certainly cater the desserts for the event. But speed dating? Are you sure about that?”

  Mom is quick to wave off my trepidation. “It’ll be fine, Lottie. And who knows? We might just walk away with a beau apiece.” She shakes her shoulders suggestively—a move she’s more than perfected. “We’ll see you both later. Oh, and Judge Baxter? We would be delighted to have you attend the event yourself.”

  “Mother.” I make a face at her as the two of them scuttle off for the parking lot.

  “Don’t worry, Lemon.” Everett wraps an arm around my waist. “I’ll go as your assistant.”

  “Thank you.” I reach up and give the scruff on his cheek a quick scratch. Everett’s dark hair and blue-eyed combination has had the ability to melt me right from the start.

  A series of quick barks disrupt the moment as an adorable, yet long since passed on to the other side French bulldog scampers this way.

  I take up Everett’s hand in case Noel feels the need to speak. A while back I discovered that if I’m touching someone, they, too, can hear the dead speak. I guess you could say I act like a natural conduit.

  “Noel!” I reach down and give his head a quick scratch, and he feels every bit as solid and real as my two cats. It never fails to amaze me at how real the dead can feel when they want to. “Hello. My goodness, you are beautiful.” I stroke his back with my open palm. “My name is Lottie Lemon, and I’m so sorry about Tamara.”

  He whimpers as his head writhes. “She was my mother.” Another sad whine comes from him, and it breaks my heart. “We need to find the killer, and we need to do so quickly. I plan on spending Tamara’s first holiday in paradise right alongside her.”

  My heart wrenches with both grief and a spike of joy at the thought that holidays might be celebrated in paradise. My father is there and I’d like to think he’s having the best time, even if we aren’t with him just yet.

  The rustling sound of a small crowd heading this way garners my attention, and I look back to see Noah and Ivy shuttling Scott along.

  Everett helps me rise and we watch as they head toward the parking lot.

  Stacy comes running from behind. “You didn’t have to do this, Scott! We could have had everything.” She breaks down sobbing, and Lainey is right there to comfort her with a hearty embrace.

  I blow out a hard breath as I look to the worried little poltergeist next to me. “It looks as if you’ll be back to paradise sooner than you think, Noel. I think they just arrested the killer.”

  Noel looks up and shakes his head as if he were disputing the idea.

  His ears pique. “Then why am I still here?”

  I look to Everett as a shiver runs up my spine.

  Why is he still here, indeed?

  4

  The Cutie Pie Bakery and Cakery is warm and toasty inside compared to the frigid arctic blast just outside its doors.

  I glance out the window and watch as the snow swirls through the air like powdered sugar shaken from the sky. Evergreen boughs of garland are strung all up and down Main Street, and every few feet they’re dotted with cherry red bows. A wreath hangs on every door as far as the eye can see, and, at night, the entire street is lit up with twinkle lights that cascade from one shop to the next.

  “’Tis pretty,” Noel muses with half his ghostly body protruding out of the window and half his adorably pudgy body inside the bakery.

  “It is. There’s no place like Honey Hollow in December.”

  “Lottie?” Lily Swanson, my faithful employee, calls from the register. “Who are you talking to?”

  “Myself.”

  Noel floats back into the shop, and I offer him a quick wink.

  I head back behind the counter and begin stocking the shelves up front with a fresh batch of oatmeal cranberry walnut cookies that just cooled from the oven.

  Lily is a stunning brunette that has spent most of her formidable years loathing me by proxy. You see, her best friend, Naomi Turner, is my best friend, Keelie Turner’s, twin sister. Way back in high school, I dated a boy by the name of Bear Fisher, and Naomi tried her best to snatch him away. But as fate and Bear’s happy hormones would have it, he cheated on me with just about every girl but Naomi. And for some unforeseen reason, Naomi has never forgiven me for it. To be honest, I think she’s never liked the fact that Keelie enjoyed spending more time with me than she did with her.

  “Lottie Lemon!” a cheery voice booms from the side, and I look over to see my perky best friend heading my way right this minute. “You found a body without me?”

  Keelie wraps me in a quick embrace and her sugary perfume trails after her. Keelie is a beauty inside and out with her long blonde waves and bright blue eyes. We’ve been inseparable ever since the day we met in preschool. And now, thanks to the fact our places of employment are somewhat conjoined via a giant walkthrough between our shared wall, we’re still spending our days together.

  Keelie is the manager next door at the Honey Pot Diner. The Honey Pot and the Cutie Pie Bakery and Cakery just so happened to be owned by the same fabulous woman, Nell Sawyer, who had the vision to connect the two businesses and expand each of our customer bases. Nell is Keelie’s grandmother, and since I’ve spent as much of my childhood with Keelie’s family as I did my own, she feels like my grandmother, too.

  “Unfortunately, I did find a body.” I grimace at my bestie. “Tamara Gray.”

  Keelie sucks in a quick breath. “Oh no, that’s terrible.”

  Noel scampers between us and lets out a riotous bark. “It is absolutely terrible.”

  I nod quickly his way, mostly because I feel bad that he can’t really be included in the conversation. Keelie might be my closest friend on the planet, but she has no idea about my supersensual abilities. I’m not sure why I’ve never told Keelie, but I’m pretty sure it’s because I never wanted our friendship to change in any way. I love her that much.

  Keelie shudders before warming her arms with her hands. “So what’s next? Are there suspects to grill? Oh please, let one lead to an all-male strip club.”

  Both Lily and I can’t help but roll our eyes. It’s true, though. Keelie and I have spent our fair share of time in seedy joints such as the aforementioned all-male review clubs in an effort to apprehend a killer or two.

  I wrinkle my nose over at her. “I’m afraid not this time.”

  Noel scoffs. “Thankfully so.”

  Lily leans in. “I heard they arrested Scott Gray for the murder.”

  I shake my head. “They took him in last night for questioning. I don’t think formal charges have been filed. Noah texted this morning and said Scott was sticking strong to his story. He says he’s innocent.” I can’t believe the words as they stream out of my own mouth.

  I don’t believe he’s innocent.

  Do I?

  Keelie swipes an oatmeal cranberry walnut cookie off the tray and moans as she takes a bite.

  “Oh wow, Lottie, you really outdid yourself with this one. Have you made these before?”

  “No, they’re new. I just couldn’t sleep last night. All I could think about was Tamara lying at the bottom of the ravine. So I came in early and started experimenting with ingredients. I can’t believe I haven’t thought of these before.”

  Lily swipes one up and moans through a bite herself. “Wow, they’re perfect.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that,” a friendly female voice calls from the other end of the counter and we look over to find Lainey holding out her hand in anticipation of a tasty treat and I quickly give her two.

  The bell chimes and in walks my mother, dusting the snow off her shoulders as she strides on over.

  “Oh, Lottie, people are talking. Could you please abstain from stumbling upon any more corpses?” She twitches her nose as if she found the idea repulsive, and she’s certainly right about that. “I hope you don’t mind, but my book club had to reassign
venues at the last minute. I’m having the carpets cleaned at the B&B for the big speed dating event coming up. You girls must be there. I can’t believe how many people have already RSVP’d.” She turns toward the café. “Oh, and Lottie, please whip up a few platters of your yummiest desserts for the ladies of the club. And throw in some of that delicious fudge, too! Rumor has it, Tamara Gray was holding a bag when they found her. Do you know what that means?”

  Lily raises a hand as if dying to answer for me. “I’ve already amped up production. Send the tourists our way any time you want, Miranda.”

  I can’t help but avert my eyes a moment. I’m still not sure how I feel about these so-called tours.

  My mother just so happens to host paid tours of her haunted B&B at eighty bucks a pop. And after her bevy of ghosts are done giving her customers the appropriate amount of thrills and chills, she puts them right back on the bus they rode in on and sends them to my bakery for what she’s dubbed as The Last Thing They Ate Tour.

  And, sadly, we sell out of each baked good that was associated with the latest, heinous crime. I’m not proud to say each homicide that’s taken place in Honey Hollow has had some morbid connection to my desserts. And this time, it just so happens to be my Christmas fudge.

  Mom fans herself with relief. “Thank goodness, Lily. At least you’re thinking. Oh, and throw in a tray of those naughty gingerbread boys. The girls in the book club will just love to eat those up.”

  Lainey nods to our mother. “Leave it to Miranda Lemon to make eating a gingerbread cookie sound like an X-rated event. What book did you lascivious ladies read this month?”

  Mom lifts a finger. “Well, as you know, we tend to lean toward historical fiction. But, seeing that it’s the holidays and it’s just so cold out, we opted for something with a Christmas theme that was a touch spicier than we’re used to.”

  Keelie sucks in a breath, a laugh quivering in her chest. “What exactly was my mother reading?”

  Keelie’s mother and my own are very good friends as well. We’ve been one big happy family for as long as I can remember—with the exception of Naomi, of course. Naomi is rarely ever happy about anything.