Jude the Obscure

by Thomas Hardy

  When Arabella, Jude, and Donn had disappeared on their matrimonialerrand the assembled guests yawned themselves wider awake, anddiscussed the situation with great interest. Tinker Taylor, beingthe most sober, reasoned the most lucidly.

  "I don't wish to speak against friends," he said. "But it do seem arare curiosity for a couple to marry over again! If they couldn'tget on the first time when their minds were limp, they won't thesecond, by my reckoning."

  "Do you think he'll do it?"

  "He's been put upon his honour by the woman, so he med."

  "He'd hardly do it straight off like this. He's got no licence noranything."

  "She's got that, bless you. Didn't you hear her say so to herfather?"

  "Well," said Tinker Taylor, relighting his pipe at the gas-jet."Take her all together, limb by limb, she's not such a bad-lookingpiece--particular by candlelight. To be sure, halfpence that havebeen in circulation can't be expected to look like new ones fromthe mint. But for a woman that's been knocking about the fourhemispheres for some time, she's passable enough. A little bit thickin the flitch perhaps: but I like a woman that a puff o' wind won'tblow down."

  Their eyes followed the movements of the little girl as she spreadthe breakfast-cloth on the table they had been using, without wipingup the slops of the liquor. The curtains were undrawn, and theexpression of the house made to look like morning. Some of theguests, however, fell asleep in their chairs. One or two went to thedoor, and gazed along the street more than once. Tinker Taylor wasthe chief of these, and after a time he came in with a leer on hisface.

  "By Gad, they are coming! I think the deed's done!"

  "No," said Uncle Joe, following him in. "Take my word, he turnedrusty at the last minute. They are walking in a very unusual way;and that's the meaning of it!"

  They waited in silence till the wedding-party could be heard enteringthe house. First into the room came Arabella boisterously; and herface was enough to show that her strategy had succeeded.

  "Mrs. Fawley, I presume?" said Tinker Taylor with mock courtesy.

  "Certainly. Mrs. Fawley again," replied Arabella blandly, pullingoff her glove and holding out her left hand. "There's the padlock,see... Well, he was a very nice, gentlemanly man indeed. I meanthe clergyman. He said to me as gentle as a babe when all was done:'Mrs. Fawley, I congratulate you heartily,' he says. 'For havingheard your history, and that of your husband, I think you have bothdone the right and proper thing. And for your past errors as a wife,and his as a husband, I think you ought now to be forgiven by theworld, as you have forgiven each other,' says he. Yes; he was a verynice, gentlemanly man. 'The Church don't recognize divorce in herdogma, strictly speaking,' he says: 'and bear in mind the words ofthe service in your goings out and your comings in: What God hathjoined together let no man put asunder.' Yes; he was a very nice,gentlemanly man... But, Jude, my dear, you were enough to make a catlaugh! You walked that straight, and held yourself that steady, thatone would have thought you were going 'prentice to a judge; though Iknew you were seeing double all the time, from the way you fumbledwith my finger."

  "I said I'd do anything to--save a woman's honour," muttered Jude."And I've done it!"

  "Well now, old deary, come along and have some breakfast."

  "I want--some--more whisky," said Jude stolidly.

  "Nonsense, dear. Not now! There's no more left. The tea will takethe muddle out of our heads, and we shall be as fresh as larks."

  "All right. I've--married you. She said I ought to marry you again,and I have straightway. It is true religion! Ha--ha--ha!"