Mine to Hold

by Shona Husk

  “Yeah. I have no idea how long for.” The light for the lab was still a healthy green color, and unless the lab had been damaged, it would stay that way. Although with all the animals in here she had no idea how long the air would last. They would have to break out an oxygen candle before the carbon dioxide level got too high.

  Vance nodded. “Did you want to take a breather and leave the barn?”

  “No.” At the moment she had no idea what the rest of the ship was like. Smart people would be in their rooms, or the closest module, and they wouldn’t risk opening it if the warning light said the hallway had no air. While she could travel quite far on thirty minutes of air, if there was nowhere to go, there wasn’t any point. “Until they tell us more I think we wait it out.”

  They were silent for a little while, but the silence made the time pass even slower. “What do you think happened?”

  Vance shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m more worried about how extensively the ship is damaged.”

  She was trying not to think about that. “I don’t think we’ve dropped out of the jump.” Which meant that the engines were still working. That was a plus. As she spoke, the ship shuddered and she lost her balance and fell over two goats.

  “You were saying?” Vance looked at her, trying not to laugh.

  The goats nudged at her clothes, no doubt smelling their feed pellets on her, making it impossible to get up.

  “Fuck.” She pushed a couple away, but they were nimble and determined. If they were dead in space they were well and truly fucked.

  The comm pinged to indicate that a general announcement was about to be made. “Be advised we have shut down the engines as a precaution as we assess the damage done to the fleet. Remain where you are. Repair teams are being assigned.” It pinged again, then went quiet.

  She wished the alarm would go quiet, then changed her mind. If she could hear it, that meant that there was still air in the barn. Those poor guinea pigs. Would they survive?

  They were going to get eaten anyway. It wasn’t as though they were destined for a long life, but this didn’t seem fair. Could they still be eaten after this? Probably.

  Vance offered her a hand and she took it, glad to get out from under the goats. He hauled her up easily and she ended up standing extremely close to him. One more step and they’d be chest to chest. Unlike Leo, who was taller, Vance was about her height.

  “So we’re stuck here,” he said.

  “Yeah.” He was still holding her hand and she was still standing too close. Ever since their first and only kiss they had been very careful to respect each other’s personal space. Don’t get too close, don’t hold eye contact for too long … but there was no pretending that the attraction didn’t exist.

  There was no hiding it now, either.

  “We could die in here.” The words bubbled from her lips.

  If there were too many holes or the ship lost too much air, what then? What if the water manufacturing plant was damaged, or the air scrubbers, or they were leaking fuel?

  Were the other two ships okay, or were they all now drifting and doing damage assessment, too far from anywhere to call for help? While no one had ever come across an alien ship, or any sign of intelligent life, yet, she was beginning to hope that they were out there and that they would come and help. The idea that they were truly on their own was terrifying.

  Was this how the first explorers had felt as they’d crossed the oceans of Earth?

  Or had they reveled in the adventure and the danger?

  Plenty of those explorers must have died, swallowed up by the sea or killed on arrival, but no one had recorded their adventures. Those who had survived had written the history books, and lived as legends. If they made it to Solitaire, is that how people would view them in a hundred years? As intrepid explorers who’d looked fate in the eye and laughed when she’d tried to stop them?

  Silke shivered and Vance pulled her close.

  His body was warm and strong, but his touch was hesitant. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

  “I know … I think we must have been hit by micrometeoroids.” That was the only answer.

  “But they have long-range scanners on the ships to avoid asteroids and comets.”

  She lifted her head and looked at him. That was true, but comets had tails that could stretch for a very long way, and micrometeoroids were tiny. They might have thought they were clear. “What else could have caused such widespread damage?”

  “The ship itself is failing?”

  Silke shook her head. “No, Leo has done this trip twice before. They haven’t set this mission up to fail.” The governments of the world wouldn’t have sent them to their death. She wouldn’t believe that. On an overcrowded planet the loss of fifteen thousand people wasn’t much. It wouldn’t be worth the effort.

  But if Siren was riddled with holes and leaking like a sieve, they were in big trouble. Hiding in the lab module would buy them time, but time for what? To write goodbye notes that would never be found?

  There were no last meals to be had in the lab. Unless they feasted on guinea pig. No, she couldn’t bring herself to kill one of them.

  She looked at Vance. If they were going to die, there was only one thing she wanted. Him. She kissed him before she could re-think. His lips moved beneath hers, his mouth opening as he pulled her closer so her body was pressed to his. Her hips against his. She felt him harden as the kiss deepened, her tongue seeking him out.

  This time the kiss wasn’t delicate. Vance kissed as though he was hungry and might never eat again. She knew that feeling. And while she knew she should feel guilty, she didn’t. Leo wasn’t here, and if she was going to die she wanted some pleasure first. She’d wanted Vance for such a long time. They’d been best friends since their first few weeks of working together. She couldn’t have had a better partner.

  Choosing between the two men hadn’t seemed fair. And Vance knew that—that was why he’d stepped away, so she didn’t have to choose.

  His hands slipped lower to cup her butt. “I have wanted you for so long.”

  “I know, and if this is it …”

  “And if it isn’t?” He kissed her again.

  He was right, what if the holes got fixed, the lights went back to green, and the alarms stopped? Did she have to choose between Leo and Vance? They were so different, and the life she could have with them would be so different. Vance had twenty years to go, and while he could marry, if given permission, it was a long time to live under that cloud of uncertainty. Leo would be a valued free settler.

  An echo of something he’d said resurfaced. Not enough women for every man who wanted a wife to have one … Did she have to choose? Could she have both?

  She had no idea how that would work, and she was sure that someone would disapprove. But right now she didn’t care.

  “Then we deal with it then … you like Leo.” She knew that Vance hadn’t been entirely joking when he’d said that he’d sleep with Leo and marry him.

  “He doesn’t like me that way. And I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who likes to share.”

  Silke drew in a breath. “Are you?”

  Vance held her gaze for a moment. “I don’t know … I think I could.”

  * * *

  He’d thought about it many times alone in his cell. While he’d never actually had a threesome, the idea had appeal and he hoped that Grady would come around to the idea in time. If not, Vance would step aside. He wouldn’t tie her to a con for the next twenty years. He didn’t want to be responsible for wrecking her second chance on Solitaire.

  The alarms were still going and they were pitched perfectly to make coherent thought hard work. No doubt this was so when orders came through, people obeyed without question. Anything to make them shut up.

  Right now he had stolen time with Silke. Whatever happened now could be written off as being because they’d thought they were going to die. They could pretend it had never happened if they had to. He nudged a g
oat away from his leg. He didn’t need extra holes in his pants.

  However, he’d always know what had happened, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to look Grady in the eye again. He considered Grady a friend, and Vance had precious few of them. Could he do this?

  Lust was burning in his blood, his dick was achingly hard, and Silke was in his arms … and they could all be dead soon. If not in minutes then in hours, or days.

  He’d rather it be a fast than a slow death.

  Vance had imagined himself growing old on Solitaire. He’d imagined him still working side by side with Silke when he eventually got the magna-cuffs off and was a free man. Somehow he’d let himself dream, instead of just making it through each day. And Silke had always been part of that dream.

  He was going to live that dream, just once. To hell with the consequences.

  If they all died in the next few days it wouldn’t really matter. And if they didn’t? Well, right now he didn’t care. He had to live each day and enjoy it as best he could.

  He kissed Silke and lifted her onto the counter. She gasped, her hands landing on his shoulders, but she didn’t stop him or say no. Instead, her legs wrapped around his hips and drew him closer. It had been a very long time since he’d been with a woman, but that didn’t mean he’d forgotten anything … not that a sixteen-year-old had much to forget.

  She unbuttoned his white shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. He pulled his arms free and then placed his shirt on the bench. If he dropped it on the floor, Satan would have it in less than a heartbeat. Silke smiled as her fingers traced over his chest, only the thin fabric of his singlet between her skin and his. He was aware as her fingers skimmed over the number that had been stamped in large writing. Then her hands were sliding over his shoulders and his arms.

  The heat of her touch flooded him. He hadn’t had a lover for nearly a year. He missed the intimacy and the companionship that came from being close to someone.

  Her hands cupped his jaw. “I like that you don’t shave every day.”

  Like most prisoners, Vance felt that shaving was generally unnecessary and a waste of the limited water rations for bathing. So half the time he sported a rough beard … although “beard” might be generous. He never left it for too long though, as it did look pretty bad. He just wasn’t the kind of guy who could grow an impressive beard, not like some of the cons. He’d shaved on his day off so at the moment it was little more than stubble.

  Her thumb brushed across his lip and he kissed it before drawing it into his mouth. His hand smoothed over her thighs, the fabric of her pants bunching beneath his palms. He wanted her naked, but the metal counters of the lab and the milling goats probably weren’t conducive to nudity. However, that didn’t stop him from unbuttoning her shirt.

  She wasn’t wearing an undershirt, just a plain beige bra. Her nipples were pressing against the thin cloth. Unable to resist, he leaned down and gently raked his teeth over the peak. She arched her back and he sucked, his tongue rasping over the fabric before releasing her hard nipple.

  Her hands had slid under his singlet, then glided over his belly, and lower. His breath caught as she undid the button of his fly. She watched him, waiting for a reaction as she took hold of the zipper and then dragged it down. Her knuckles grazed the length of his shaft. He was sure it was deliberate. He wanted to feel her hand wrapped around his length.

  No, he wanted to bury his shaft deep in her core and feel her come around him.

  Before rescue came, or the ship broke apart and they died.

  As her hand eased into his briefs and she grasped him, all thoughts flatlined.

  “Get my pants off,” she whispered.

  He wasn’t sure he could while she stroked his length with gentle, sure caresses that seemed designed to torture. His heart was beating too hard and too fast and every touch made him want more.

  But he obeyed. His fingers fumbled at the opening of her pants. Once they were undone, she lifted one hip and then the other so he could drag them down. Her legs eased from around his hips. He tugged off her boots and then her pants, dumping the clothing on the counter next to her. Then she was naked from the waist down.

  He brought her closer to the edge of the counter, then bent to taste her.

  She gasped as his lips touched her labia, her nails pressed into his shoulders as he parted her lips and his tongue flicked over her clit. He had forgotten what a woman tasted like. The musk of sex and the slipperiness of her desire. She spread her legs wider as his tongue delved deeper, and this time he was rewarded with a moan and an increase in the pressure of her nails.

  If this was his last meal, it was as good as it got.

  Better than he could’ve hoped for.

  His fingers slid up her thigh then dipped into her core. She shuddered and sighed, her fingers kneading his shoulders.

  “I want to feel you in me.” Her words were breathy.

  He lifted his head so he could look her in the eye, then slowly thrust two fingers into her core.

  She reached down and grasped his cock. “That’s what I want.”

  Her fingers circled the head before sliding down his shaft. Her touch sent a jolt of lust to his balls that then spread through his blood. It had been a while since he’d wanted anyone so much.

  But he didn’t want this to be over too fast. His thumb touched her clit and caressed. She squirmed, her hips rocking and her eyelids half lowered. Then she wrapped her legs around his hips again and drew him closer. She leaned back a little, making it all too easy for him to slide in. He couldn’t resist.

  Vance gave in. He gripped her hips and brought her a little closer, the head of his shaft nudging at the slick folds of her sex. He hesitated a moment, enjoying the tease, knowing that he may never get this chance again. He wanted Silke to remember this, but he knew he had no control over that. All he could do was try and make it good.

  What the hell did he know about good sex? Enough, he hoped.

  Inch by inch, he eased into her, the short, incomplete thrusts teasing him as much as they were teasing her. She was tight and wet and hot around him. It was a sensation he’d never forget. Nor could he forget the way she was looking at him, with raw heat and desire in her gaze. It had been a while since anyone had looked at him like that.

  Her legs tightened around him and he sank into her fully. He paused for a heartbeat to enjoy her before moving, making each thrust count. Her wet heat encased him. The slippery tightness was something he had missed. The curves of a woman’s body. His hand slid over her breast, cupped her cheek. Her skin was smooth in the way a man’s could never be. When he kissed her, her lips were soft, but demanding. She was as hungry as him. Her desire fed his.

  It didn’t matter where they were, for the moment it was just them.

  Silke’s eyes closed and her head tilted back. As her breathing became rough against his lips, Vance felt his control slipping as desire overtook. His balls were tight and aching and his blood was hot.

  He touched her clit and circled, wanting to see her come. Hoping he wouldn’t fail her. Silke bit her lower lip, her hips moving in time with his, then she gasped, and her core clenched around him as she came. He groaned and let any pretense of control slide away. He thrust into her hard, gripping her hips as his climax rushed through him. He leaned forward and kissed her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. And for a moment they clung together, her breath hot and fast on his skin and her heartbeat racing with his.

  Words formed on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed them down.

  Now wasn’t the time to say he loved her.

  But if now wasn’t the time, would there ever be one?

  Chapter Ten

  Leo had known the moment the alarms sounded what had happened. Something had gone wrong. From the sound of the alarms he knew it was a hull breach. He had immediately gone to his station and pulled on his close-fitting suit, hoping some clear instructions would follow. At first the comms were filled with people panicking. He pulle
d up the schematic of the ship to look at which alarms had been triggered. Several other flight crew looked over his shoulder.

  There was more than one red light and plenty of orange.

  How had that happened so fast? The starboard side was lit up like the Christmas trees he’d seen in the fancy shops in the tower, the ones his mother had never been able to afford.

  Leo couldn’t wait for a direct order. He started assigning crew to the areas with orange lights. They needed to stabilize the ship as fast as possible and stop any more air from venting. Those compartments that were already red would have to wait. The bulkheads would stop any more leaks.

  His gaze lingered on the barn.

  He heard Silke’s voice on the comms and the reply from the comms operator. Before he could get to the barn he’d have to go through several other orange zones that would need patches first.

  He wanted to race straight to Silke, but she was alive and in the lab. She was safe. She wouldn’t be safe if the areas around her continued to leak. He loaded up his satchel with repair kits. They weren’t designed to be permanent, but he knew from his previous trip that they could last for several months, giving the repair crew the time to go around and fix every leak properly during the scheduled maintenance periods when the ship dropped out of jump.

  Looking at the damage, he figured he’d be kept busy for the rest of the flight just doing repairs.

  Using the comms, he coordinated the teams, and kept the bridge informed. No one counteracted his orders—because there was no one or because telling him to fix the civvie quarters first would look bad? For the moment it was safest if everyone stayed where they were … unless they were in a venting area and trapped.

  But rescue teams had already been dispatched to those areas, and that wasn’t his problem.

  The breathers had thirty minutes of air. He had six of them, as he didn’t intend on going back to the recharge station. Hopefully he didn’t run out of patches. The thin adhesive pieces of metal could be cut smaller to limit wastage. He’d told everyone to trim to minimum size.