“Maddie, this is crazy. Let me go.” She wiggled, losing.
“I will not.”
“Except you’re smothering me.”
“You can breathe.” The hug continued. Madison’s voice was quiet when she said, “I don’t know why you think you’re unlovable, unworthy. But you’re not.”
“I know that,” Joey said, twisting, but she heard the lack of conviction in her voice. With Madison’s arms around her like this, it was somehow harder to look away from the truth, from what she felt down deep in the well of her emotions.
“You’re incredibly lovable.”
Joey blinked at the surprise tears that sprang into her eyes. “Yeah, okay. You can let me go now.”
“Say it.”
“No.”
Madison rested her chin on the back of Joey’s shoulder. “You’re smart and wonderful and very much worthy of love.”
The tears fell onto Joey’s cheeks, hot and traitorous. She stayed very quiet, trying to stay strong and not give herself away. Maddie couldn’t see her face, and that was how she wanted to keep it.
“I need you to know that.”
Joey nodded silently, and without permission her shoulders began to shake. All of the emotion she’d been holding in for the past week, hell, the past few years began to rain down on her in a torrential storm for the ages. Maddie released her, and as Joey turned around to face her, she felt her face contort, a sob tore from her throat, and she allowed herself to fall into Madison, who was waiting there to catch her. She buried her face in the crook of her best friend’s neck and let the tears come, not that she could have stopped them anyway. Madison held her tight, and eventually, with her arms still wrapped around Joey, ushered her to the couch. Unable to regain her composure, Joey curled onto her side and laid her head in Maddie’s lap where she shook and sobbed while Maddie stroked her hair.
“Let it out,” her friend said, soothingly. “I’m right here. Nowhere to be. I’ve got you.” They must have sat there like that for an hour. Maddie reassuring her, Joey attempting to get it together and failing miserably. She felt vulnerable, exposed, and spent. Good thing it was only Madison there to see.
“I’m sorry,” Joey croaked sometime later, once she found her voice. Even to her own ears it sounded raspy and weak.
“Nothing to apologize for.” Maddie picked up a strand of Joey’s hair and let it fall gently. “Just two chicks on a couch, one of them a little sad.”
“I think you meant to say one chick and a train wreck, but I like your version better.” Joey attempted a smile that fully manifested. She pushed herself into a sitting position. “Are my eyes bloodshot?”
“Yep. And your nose is red. You’re like Santa Claus, sans the beard, after an all-night bender.”
Joey nodded. “Totally what I was going for.” She sat back against the couch with a sigh. “I’m afraid I’m more of a mess than I realized.” She turned her cheek so that it rested against the soft leather couch cushion and peered over at her friend. The stupid tears welled again, and her eyes burned. “What am I gonna do with myself?”
“Let’s talk it through.”
One of the things she loved about Madison was that she was not simply kind, but a practical problem solver. “Please.” The idea of focusing her energy and reining herself in helped her stop the tears. This was good.
“You’re going to do nothing. That’s what I think. When you’re not sure which direction you should turn, that’s exactly the moment you need to suspend any and all decision-making.”
“Okay. That actually helps. It’s a relief.”
“Give me one word to describe how you’re feeling.”
“Overwhelmed.”
Madison lifted a shoulder, like that solved it. “Then we have to streamline. What do you feel sure of right now?”
“That I need to get the vineyard on its feet and moving in the right direction.”
“Then do that. Put all of your energy into that one thing. The rest will be there waiting for you when you’re ready.”
Joey took a deep breath. Focus on Tangle Valley. She could handle that much. “What about Becca?”
Madison looked thoughtful. “I have a feeling you’re going to figure that one out over time.”
Joey wasn’t as confident. Becca and everything associated with her terrified the hell out of Joey now that she’d experienced the power Becca possessed. “Maybe. Maybe not, though. You know? What then?” She felt the panic rise in her chest.
Madison snapped her fingers. “Focus on the vineyard, weirdo.”
Joey smiled at their childhood language. “You’re the weirdo.”
“I’m not the one soaking a couch.”
“Well, when you get all specific…” She felt a small smile blossom.
Her breakdown, the counseling session, and the admission—even to herself—that she wasn’t doing as well as she’d claimed had Joey seeing the world realistically. She’d had a rough year, and she needed to take care of herself first. God, she was lucky to have Madison in her life.
When she crawled into bed that night, she was sad, yes, but she could also breathe again. That had to count for something, and when things felt bleak, it was vital to pay attention to the small victories. She wondered about Becca and softly touched the pillow next to her as her heart squeezed uncomfortably. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” played quietly on her bedside console as midnight hit and Christmas Day arrived. Focus on what’s in front of you. One thing at a time.
She closed her eyes and drifted off with a hand over her heart. As she felt it beat beneath her fingertips, she thought of her parents and what it would be like to celebrate with them tomorrow. If only. She imagined a Christmas morning where her mother greeted her with open arms and a cup of cider. Her father would get tangled up in ribbon as a joke and lead them in carols with his guitar, as the three of them—her mother, Joey, and Becca—sang along in a post-gift-giving haze.
When Joey opened her eyes the next morning, none of them were there.
Instead, she was alone and scared.
Chapter Seventeen
Carla leaned against the doorframe to Becca’s office. “Wow.”
Becca looked up and around, following Carla’s gaze across the perimeter of her office. “What is it?”
“Your office. You’ve either hired a team of die-hard decorators, or you’ve been hard at work and have excellent taste.”
“The latter,” Becca said with a wave of her pen before going back to her paperwork. She’d taken notes during a coaching session with her front desk manager and wanted to organize her thoughts. She’d forgotten about the office’s new design. It had just been busywork to quiet her heart and mind.
Carla pointed at the new sitting area in the corner of the room, complete with a white couch with a scalloped back. “That was literally not here forty-eight hours ago.”
Becca followed her gaze blandly. “I know. I went shopping.” In fact, she’d done more than that. She’d organized her whole house, unpacked every last remaining box, worked with Sky on some new commands, two of which he had mastered, created a five-year career plan, worked on a talent management system for her employees, started a leadership development curriculum to submit to corporate, downed a half dozen bottles of wine in the past week and half, and embarked upon about eighteen other major projects, most of which she had finished. Who knew heartbreak begot ambition? It was apparently what Becca did when she was hurting.
Carla came into the office, closed the door behind her, and sat down. “You’re not okay.”
“I’m sorry?” Becca asked warily.
“You don’t look like yourself. You’re not acting like yourself, and it’s clear you’re not sleeping.”
“You’re not wrong. It’s been a strange time.”
“You’ve been working ungodly hours that are also unnecessary because the resort is in really good shape. The opening kinks have all been worked out. But you have a friend sitting in front of you,
not your assistant GM. I’m here for you.”
Becca didn’t know what to say to that. Normally, she tried to keep her colleagues at a respectable arm’s length, but she felt very much adrift. The cowboys were on a Christmas cruise and not due back until the following week, and though Becca had been perfectly fine missing Christmas back home with her family when work called, she now missed them desperately.
“I’m nursing a broken heart,” she told Carla.
“Oh,” Carla said as her face fell. “Not you and Joey?”
Becca nodded. “We had a hiccup and it scared her off. I didn’t see it coming.”
“Does this hearken back to the jilted-on-her-wedding-day thing? I heard it was awful. Did you know there were mentions of it in the newspaper? Who puts that kind of stuff out there publicly?”
“A gossipy small town, apparently.”
Carla nodded sadly. “So she’s gun-shy and backing away. I dated someone like that once.”
“What was his deal?”
“Back then it was a her.”
“Get out of my office.”
“I can’t. I’m telling you my commiseration story. Anyway, yes, I dated a woman once, and she was wonderful but wounded, and that made things really hard.” Carla studied her manicure as if pulled back into something. “Impossible, really. She didn’t trust anyone.”
Becca deflated at the report. “I think Joey does battle that kind of thing.” While she felt awful speaking about Joey’s personal life, she needed to talk it out. “She’s had a hard year. She lost her dad, then the fire…and now us.”
“Still. I’m worried about you. You’re a good person, Becca. I’m sorry this has happened. Do you need some time off? I can step in and—”
“No, no, no.” She held her hands up over her desk full of file folders. “This is exactly what I need. Keeps my mind busy, you know?”
As if on cue, Becca’s cell thrummed in vibration on her desk. She checked the readout, saw Donovan from corporate’s name, and slid onto the call. She hadn’t seen him in person since the last leader retreat in San Juan. “Donovan, how are things in New Orleans?” As VP of Southeastern resort ops, he homebased from their resort in the Big Easy.
“Hi, Becks. Not so great. Hence my call.”
“Uh-oh. What gives?”
He sighed deeply and she imagined him propping his feet up on the desk. “Scooter walked off the job.”
Her jaw dropped. She’d never liked the guy, but to have a general manager walk off the job was pretty unheard of. “Didn’t see that coming.”
“None of us did. I can’t give you any more details than that because it’s a sensitive HR situation now, but long story short, I need cover.”
“Okay, what can I do?”
“I need your insight. Do you think Carla could handle stepping in temporarily until we hire someone? Is she ready?”
“I think she’s fully capable.” She eyed Carla. “I’ve been nothing but impressed.”
Carla squinted, probably wondering what the hell was going on. “I think she’s more than ready to cover a resort. But let’s give her this one. I’ll come to New Orleans for a while.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line. “You would do that?”
“In a heartbeat.”
“I’d be thrilled. Let me run it by Maria. If she’s good, I’m good.”
“Say the word and I’ll book travel.”
“Give me an hour to make it happen.”
She said her good-bye and clicked off the call.
“What in the world is happening?” Carla asked, looking both excited and nervous.
“I think you’re about to take this resort for a joyride, and I’m getting out of Dodge for a while.” Becca had been drowning, and now someone had thrown her a lifeline, a chance to get away, regroup, and return to Whisper Wall with her wits about her, provided she returned at all. Maybe she’d fall in love with New Orleans in the winter.
* * *
The new year, which was supposed to feel like a blank slate, felt anything but awesome. That late morning, Joey walked quietly from the Big House to the tasting room and beat Loretta to work. She moved around the space, gearing up for what would likely be a slow day now that the holidays were over. Everyone had gone back to work and school, and they wouldn’t see a big influx of tourists until March. She looked over the tweaks to the new label, which gave more of a pop to the maroon font and a few more tangles in the vines. More swoops.
The business phone rang midperusal, and Joey snatched it up.
“Tangle Valley Vineyard. This is Joey.”
“Well, hello there, Head Honcho of the Tangles.” Joey laughed, knowing exactly who she was speaking to. “It’s Bruno at The Jewel.”
“Oh, I know. No one else speaks to me with such personality. It’s depressing when it’s not you on the line.” Bruno, the sommelier at The Crown Jewel, The Jade’s in-house restaurant, was always such a gregarious and fun presence. “What can I do for you?”
“Was doing the inventory on our marketing materials and our concierge could use more brochures and discount coupons for tastings. I hand them out with each glass ordered.”
“We love that you do. I’ll drive some over this afternoon.”
“You’re a doll.”
“So are you.”
“Smooches.”
She hung up the phone and let the smile drop. The Jade meant one thing to Joey: Becca. She saw those hazel eyes in her mind and felt every part of her react. She shrugged out of the shiver and resumed her study of the graphic proofs. No dice. She was thoroughly off balance and distracted now.
Joey had not seen Becca since the day she had cut things off between them, yet every part of her wanted to. She stood by her decision but also wondered whether she was selling Becca short. Her cry fest with Madison had knocked a few things loose, and she could admit that so much of this was likely her own hang-ups. But she stuck with the plan and concentrated on what she could control, her job.
“Hi, I’m looking for Bruno,” Joey told the attendant at The Crown Jewel.
“My love!” Bruno said, coming from the back of the restaurant, which was closed for service between lunch and dinner. They’d only met twice, but he liked to pretend they were long lost wine soul mates, and maybe they were. “I went through six bottles of your pinot at lunch today.”
She beamed. “How does that compare with your Fable Brook sales?”
He winced and leaned close to her ear. “Don’t tell them, but the feedback on your wine blows theirs away. People have a glass of theirs and switch to something new. The reorder rate?” He shook his head. “Not what it should be.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” All the while they were chatting, Joey kept an eye on the lobby to her left, wondering if Becca would walk through at any moment. She listened for the click of her heels, hoped for them, secretly. “Oh, these are for you,” Joey said, producing a stack of vouchers and brochures.
“My angel, thank you.”
“You guys seem busy for January.” She glanced behind her at the always bustling lobby.
“The spa and the heated pools keep people showing up. Plus, there’s a luxurious fireplace in nearly every room.”
Joey pointed at him and winked. “Well, it keeps you all on your toes. Send some of them to visit me.”
“You have my word.”
She waved over her shoulder. “Tell Becca I said hello. Carla, too.” The sentence alone made her uneasy, but she had to find a way to exist around Becca Crawford. They were neighbors, after all, and Becca was a good person. There was no reason they couldn’t find a way to be friends. The word made her sad and sick to her stomach. Just focus on what you can control.
“Carla’s in charge these days. Didn’t you hear?” Bruno asked.
She turned back. “No. Hear what?”
Bruno winced. “Becca left to head up a resort in New Orleans.”
“No. She did?” Joey quirked her head. Her heart thudded.
“Since when?”
“She’s been gone nearly a week now.” He frowned. “We’re not sure when she’ll be back, if at all, but Carla, the little engine that could, has truly stepped up. She’s a force.”
Joey was mystified. What was she supposed to do with that information? “Well, I hope it works out, and all is well. For her and this place.” Nothing felt right. The room, the sound of her voice, or the way her fingertips had gone numb.
“Me, too.”
She said good-bye to Bruno and started for home, only making it as far as the sitting area near the exit of The Jade before dropping hard into one of the fancy expensive armchairs. She blinked at the lobby around her feeling helpless, sad, and worried for Becca.
“Joey?”
She turned and saw Carla studying her from one of the VIP check-in counters. Joey lifted a hand in half-hearted greeting, embarrassed now. Carla made her way over.
“I thought that was you. How are things at my favorite vineyard?” She looked sharp in her suit and fully capable. She just wasn’t Becca.
“We’re good. Brought some coupons by for Bruno. He said something happened and Becca headed to New Orleans?”
Carla nodded. “They needed some help in a pinch, and I think she…needed some time away.”
“Yeah.” She paused. “Do you know how long she’ll be gone?”
“A month, maybe more. If she likes it there, there’s always the chance they’ll offer the transfer permanently. She’s a hot commodity at Elite.”
“Oh no.” Joey squeezed her hands together as the information settled. Her heart ached unjustly, because who was she to get a say? She sat there helpless in a lobby hundreds of miles away from Becca. Her own doing. Her instinct was to reach out, call, text, hop a plane, but she had a feeling she was the last person Becca would want to hear from. She turned to Carla. “We broke up,” she said blankly.
Entangled Page 26
