Warren the 13th and the Thirteen-Year Curse

by Tania del Rio

  “Twee, twee, twee!” Sketchy chirped.

  “BRRRRREEE?” the Great Eight replied, slowly lifting Warren and Sketchy so they were level with its face.

  “Great Eight,” Warren said, “I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with so many people mistreating you. But all this destruction won’t do anything but continue the cycle of hate.”

  Sketchy translated for Warren, using a series of chirps, whistles, and tweets.

  The Great Eight grumbled in response, narrowing its eyes. It didn’t seem convinced.

  “And I’m sorry that Sketchy was stolen from you years ago. That must have been really hard. But now you’ve separated Bonny from her grandfather, and that’s not right, either. I know they’re not perfect, and they’ve made some mistakes, but they’re family, and family should be together.”

  Sketchy translated again, and the Great Eight sighed heavily as it absorbed Warren’s words.

  Slowly, it opened its enormous mouth and reached a tentacle down its throat. Seconds later, it pulled out a very soggy and very smelly Jacques Rustyboots.

  “Gramps!” Bonny cried.

  The Great Eight dumped the pirate unceremoniously onto the deck and grumbled noisily.

  Bonny and her grandfather embraced. “Gramps, I was so scared.”

  “Me, too, Bonny,” Rustyboots said. “All that time down there got me thinking…maybe it’s time to retire. There’s no treasure in the world worth sitting in a pile of fish guts for. Or being separated from my only granddaughter.”

  “You mean, you’re coming back to Calm Waves?” Bonny asked hopefully.

  “That’s right,” Rustyboots said, smiling. “Once and for all.”

  The elderly pirates cheered from the lobby. Warren was sad to think of his childhood idol abandoning adventure and settling down into a quiet life of retirement, but given what Jacques Rustyboots had been up to lately, he knew it was for the best. Besides, he’d always have the books to read and enjoy.

  “Thank you, Sketchy,” Warren said. “And thank you, Great Eight. We’ll leave you in peace now.”

  He took one of Sketchy’s arms. “Come on, Sketchy. Let’s go home.”

  But Sketchy pulled its tentacle away. “Tweeeee…”

  “What’s wrong?” Warren asked, looking at his friend in confusion.

  Sketchy shook its bulbous head. “Tweeee.”

  Warren may not have spoken Sketchy’s language, but it was all too clear what it was trying to say. “You—you mean, you want to stay here? With the Great Eight?”

  Sketchy chirped sadly, but nodded its head.

  “Of course,” Warren said, finally understanding. “This is your parent, after all. This is your true home.” He felt as though his heart were breaking into a million pieces, but he couldn’t let Sketchy know how much it hurt.

  Petula appeared beside them, having popped through a portal, and she flung her arms around Sketchy.

  “Oh, I’m going to miss you so much!”

  Sketchy hugged her tight and whistled sadly.

  Warren blinked back tears. “Well, I guess this is goodbye.”

  Suddenly, Sketchy grabbed Petula’s and Warren’s hands with its tentacles and began chirping loudly. “Twee! Twee! Twee!”

  “You want us to come with you?” Warren asked. “I’m sorry Sketchy. We can’t live underwater.”

  But it continued to tug on their hands.

  “Warren,” Petula said, “I think it wants to show us something.”

  ketchy chirped something at the Great Eight, and it nodded its giant head in response. Then Sketchy jumped off its parent’s tentacle and splashed into the water below. The Great Eight followed, wrapping Warren and Petula securely in its tentacle as it submerged itself under the sea.

  “No, no!” Warren cried. “We can’t breathe underwater! Stop!”

  “Hold your breath!” Petula shouted seconds before they splashed beneath the surface.

  Warren did so, puffing out his cheeks as cold water engulfed him. The Great Eight released its grip and they clung together, kicking their legs.

  “BRRRRREEEEEEEEEE,” the Great Eight bellowed, its voice amplified underwater. An enormous bubble emerged from its mouth and surrounded Warren and Petula, encasing them in air.

  “Good, because I was almost out of air!” Warren gasped.

  “Tweeeee!” Sketchy warbled from nearby, and beckoned them with its tentacle.

  The Great Eight followed, moving far more gracefully underwater than it did above the surface. Warren and Petula followed, too, encased in their protective bubble. Deeper and deeper they went as they followed Sketchy and the Great Eight toward the mouth of a glistening underwater cavern. Their home.

  Inside, the enormous cave sparkled with minerals and phosphorescent coral. There was no gold. No treasure. The legend of the Great Eight’s horde was just a fairy tale, Warren realized.

  But the walls were completely covered in drawings, elegant pictographs drawn with bioluminescent charcoal.

  “Looks like Sketchy’s parent is a bit of an artiste, too!” Warren said, taking it all in.

  “Twee! Twee!” Sketchy chirped, pointing to one wall.

  “Warren, I think the pictures tell a story,” Petula said.

  Warren scanned the drawings, but as lovely as they were, he had trouble deciphering them.

  “Don’t worry,” Petula assured him. “Thanks to my mom, I’m fluent in pictographs. Here, I’ll translate for you…”

  “BRRRRRREEEE,” the Great Eight rumbled, wrapping a tentacle around Sketchy.

  “That’s so sad,” Warren said. “Even after my grandfather rescued you from Jacques Rustyboots, you still weren’t where you belonged. You must have been so scared.”

  Sketchy chirped and nodded sadly. It picked up a piece of glowing chalk and began scribbling furiously on the walls, drawing its own pictographs. Warren turned, trying to decipher them.

  “Petula?” he asked.

  “One second,” she said. “I think I understand…”

  Petula finished telling the story, and Warren nodded, tears in his eyes. “I’m glad I found you, too, Sketchy. You’re the first friend I ever had. I’ll always be grateful for that.”

  “Tweeee!” Sketchy trilled happily.

  “Twee! Twee! Twee!” A chorus of whistles surrounded them as dozens of little Sketchies came out of hiding. They emerged from behind rocks and plants and little hidey-holes in the sand. They circled around Sketchy, chirping happily.

  “Your siblings!” Warren said, grinning. “They’re welcoming you home!”

  “BRRREEEEEEEEE!” rumbled the Great Eight, encircling all of its children, along with Warren and Petula, in a loving embrace.

  Warren put his hand against the surface of the bubble. “I’m going to miss you,” he said to Sketchy. “But I’m happy you’re home. This is where you belong.”

  Sketchy let out a sad warble as it wrapped its tentacles around Warren and Petula’s bubble.

  “It’s time for us to go,” Warren said, choking back tears. “Take care of yourself, Sketchy.”

  Warren and Petula sniffled as they floated upward. Sketchy and all its siblings waved their tentacles goodbye, chirping like a tree full of birds. The Great Eight added its musical baritone to the mix.

  They eventually broke the surface of the water and saw the hotel bobbing nearby. Warren could see the smiling faces of Mr. Friggs, Chef Bunion, Beatrice, Mr. Vanderbelly, and even Uncle Rupert from where they stood on the porch. They all held out their arms, pulling Petula and Warren onboard.

  “We were startin’ to get worried!” Chef cried, encompassing Warren in a big bear hug. “We thought you might want to stay down there forever!”

  “And leave my family?” Warren said, smiling back. “No way!”

  It wasn’t until they had set a course for
the retirement island and sailed away that Warren realized he had completely forgotten to ask the Great Eight to remove his family’s curse.

  Well, he reasoned, just as the Great Eight didn’t really guard a horde of treasure, it wasn’t likely to have magical curse-breaking abilities either.

  Some legends were just that—stories to ignite the imagination and inspire action.

  hanks for showing us that we still have some adventure left in our old bones!” Sharky said to Warren.

  “Aye, aye!” cheered the rest of the elderly pirates.

  The hotel was anchored just outside the Calm Waves Retirement Home for the Formerly Sea-Faring and Adventurous, and Warren was helping his guests check out. He shook each wrinkled hand as the pirates departed.

  “I couldn’t have saved Sketchy without your help,” Warren said. “You all worked so hard, and now you deserve a break.”

  CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! Jacques Rustyboots was banging a pot with a spoon from where he stood on the beach. He wore a frilly apron, and flour dusted his nose.

  “Chow time!” he announced. “It’s pancakes for dinner!”

  “I’m gonna mish all that fanshy hotel food,” the toothless pirate grumbled as he shambled off with the others.

  “Quit complainin’!” Bonny said.

  “Looks like Rustyboots is adjusting rather quickly to being retired,” Petula noted.

  “Arrgh, give him time,” Captain Grayishwhitishbeard grumbled. “He’ll get bored and be off on some other venture before you know it.”

  “As long as it doesn’t involve kidnapping,” Warren said.

  “So, is this farewell, Captain?” Petula said. “You don’t want your pancakes to get cold.”

  “Arrgh, if it’s all the same to you, I’d much rather join yer crew. Rustyboots and I don’t get along, and I’m too hale and hearty to be retired!”

  “Of course!” Warren said gratefully. “I’d love to have another hand at the controls.”

  Captain Grayishwhitishbeard saluted them and turned to go inside. “Yarr, I’ll fire her up and get ’er ready to go!”

  “Ahem,” Bonny said, approaching Warren. She scowled and kicked the sand. “I just wanted to say, um, thanks. And sorry for all the trouble I caused. I just wanted to impress my gramps and help him find the Great Eight. It’s all I’ve ever heard him talk about. But I was unfair to you, even though you were so nice to me.”

  Warren understood. “It’s O.K. I know I’d feel the same way if I was related to the famous Jacques Rustyboots. By the way—do you think he would sign my novels before we go?”

  “I already took care of it,” Bonny said with a wink. “Check your bookcase later!”

  “Thanks, Bonny!”

  “Well, I guess this is goodbye,” she replied, blushing. Before Warren could respond, she turned and ran toward the Calm Waves building. Seconds later, she turned around and yelled, “And good luck with your curse!”

  “Oh, really!” Petula sighed. “Some things never change.”

  “Well, even if I was cursed, I think it’s broken now,” Warren said. “And I didn’t even need the Great Eight to do it for me.”

  “How’s that?”

  “Well, I was thinking…if it’s a thirteen-year curse, that could mean the curse lasts for thirteen years, rather than being a curse that starts when you’re thirteen years old,” he explained. “I’ve had an unlucky life so far, but now that I’m thirteen, things are looking up. I’ve got friends and family that I love, and a hotel that can walk, swim, and fly. It doesn’t get much better than that!”

  “That’s true,” Petula said. “So where should we go next?”

  “Let’s find out!” Warren said.

  And he and Petula raced back into the Warren Hotel, laughing all the way.

  THE WORLD-FAMOUS WARREN HOTEL

  n any given day, look up. You might see a strange shape in the sky, blotted against the sun. Do not be alarmed, for it is just the Marvelous World-Famous Warren Hotel making its rounds across the globe. See it soar through the clouds like a bird and watch it swoop over the pointed treetops of the Malwoods, emerging over the resort known as the Sap Caldera, where sapsquatches frolic and play.

  On other days you might spot it marching across Fauntleroy, pausing at the crater that used to be its home. Remnants of an old hedge maze still remain there, as well as a statue of Warren the 1st—the originator of this mighty hotel—gone but never forgotten.

  And on yet another day, you might spot the hotel sailing across the seas, flying its flag proudly as its inhabitants wave merrily to dozens of tentacled creatures who have gathered round to say hello (chief among them a special little creature by the name of Sketchy, who whistles a happy tune when greeting its dear friend, Warren the 13th).

  True, this odd hotel may carry an equally strange crew consisting of a circus chef, a former adventurer turned historian, a perfumier, and an importer-exporter, among others. But when you stay at the hotel as a guest, be assured that you will be warmly welcomed and treated with world-class hospitality.

  For as the young Warren the 13th likes to say, when you stay at the Warren, you’re family.

  Thank you to everyone who has been on this amazing ride with the entire “Warren family” for these past three volumes.

  Somehow, I magically forget each and every time how much work every volume of Warren is. The art alone takes months and months to complete, and there are times where I find my eyes crossing from staring at black and white lines, and it’s difficult to push through. It’s during these times (often weekends) that I remind myself how lucky I am to tell Warren’s story. And when that doesn’t work…I think about the tens of thousands of students that we have spoken to at various schools over the years, and the wonderful drawings and cards that they’ve sent us. A big thank-you to all the fans who have kept us going.

  First off, thanks to everyone at Quirk Books. I can’t imagine Warren living elsewhere. As always, a special thanks to Jason Rekulak, who brought Warren into Quirk initially and believed in us from the very start.

  On a personal note, thank you to my partner, Hanh. You have been entirely supportive of the Warren books and my various creative endeavors. You are truly amazing.

  Thanks to my small, but wonderful family; Mom, Dad, Ira, and Eli. And to all of the Staehles, Baxters, Loan, and the rest of Hanh’s family for their years of supporting Warren.

  Thanks to Atom, Rich, Roberto, Fearn, Steve, Rob, Jacob, Rex, Philip, Alex, Evan, Matteo, Jake, Aaron, Eric, Christine, Mike, Raina, Trevor, Susan, Lauren, Corey, Doogie, Laura, Cricket, James, Amber, Kazu, Jim, Ed, and Fred & Jeanne for all of their support.

  Thanks to all of my friends and supporters over the years from Harper, and JibJab, and Epic.

  Last but certainly not least, a huge hotel-sized thanks to Tania del Rio for undertaking this project with me, and for dedicating so much of her time and effort to it.

  It’s been such a challenging but fun job to work on this trilogy, and to spend so much time with Warren, Petula, Sketchy, Beatrice, Friggs, Chef Bunion, Mr. Vanderbelly, Uncle Rupert, and the rest of the crew. We hope you enjoy the books as as much as we enjoyed making them.

  Until next time!

  First and foremost, I’d like to thank Will Staehle for bringing me along on this fantastic journey – I hope we’ll have a chance to collaborate again in the future! Thanks to our original editor Jason Rekulak, who was so influential to the series. I hope we’ve done you proud. I’m grateful to Rebecca Gyllenhaal for taking over the reins, as well as Brett Cohen, Jhanteigh Kupihea, Nicole De Jackmo, Katherine McGuire, Rick Chillot, Kelsey Hoffman, Christina Schillaci, Megan DiPasquale, Mary Ellen Wilson, Ivy Noelle Weir, and the rest of the awesome Quirk team. I’m thankful for the team at Gotham for all you’ve done for Warren behind the scenes. I’m so grateful to Paul Crichton for organizing an a
wesome school tour, and for all the teachers, librarians, and students who welcomed us and made us feel like superstars! To all the fans who have emailed me or sent me letters, thank you so much!

  To my fellow authors and writers who have welcomed me into the fold and have shown me special kindness, a very special thanks to Paul Krueger, Jane Espenson, Gene Ha, Sherri L. Smith, Brad T. Gottfred, Livia Blackburne, Ashley Poston, C.B Lee, and Maritere Bellas.

  Thank you Maria Stout, Uriel Walker, and John “Dandan” Phillips for your cheerleading, and for being awesome friends, both online and off.

  Liz and Terry Adams, Krishna Devine, Zach Baker, and Chris Straeter, I truly appreciate your friendship and support. Huge thanks to my coworkers and dear friends Brian Randolph, Ashley Thayer, and Ray Anthony Barrett III for letting me vent about writing, publishing, and everything in-between. Thank you to Mark Grotjahn and Ana Vejzovic Sharp for your support and giving me the time to go on my book tour.

  I have so much gratitude for my family. To my mom and dad, Rita and Israel del Rio, thank for your love, optimism, and support. Thanks to my brothers Derek and Alex del Rio (especially for the help with that pesky puzzle!) Thanks to my aunts Jerry, Sylvia, and Louise Sabo for your support and for spreading the word about the Warren books!

  I’m grateful to my in-laws; Lakshmi, Jerry, and Will Hackett, and Prudence and Greg Daniels – I’m so lucky to have you in my corner!

  And, last but not least, thank you to my husband, Sebastian Hackett, who has been my number one fan and a voice of reason and encouragement when I’m suffering from writers’ block or imposter syndrome. I hope I can support your dreams as much as you’ve supported mine.

  Goddess, I’m grateful for the gift of this experience. Thank you, thank you, thank you!