Color Me Grey
Page 25
He had watched her through the open window, picking up the various trinkets in the home, gazing at them with hope in her eyes. He knew the only thing he could do was buy that house for her. He had purchased it from the owner; along with all of its furnishings. However, he had to be careful that Bridget never found out about it, or she probably would’ve figured out that he had been following her, just as she had today. Therefore, this was the only piece of property that Bridget had never been made aware of when she paid his various bills, etc. He had taken care of anything related to this house.
Bridget was absolutely speechless. And, when it seemed as though she might speak, David put his finger to her lips.
“Wait, Bridget, before you say anything, let’s go inside first; see the house.”
David was afraid of her reaction to all of this and hopeful that once she saw the inside, she might be willing to at least listen to what David had to say.
Walking in, Bridget was surprised to see the foyer had not been changed a bit, neither had the living room, nor the kitchen.
“David, it’s exactly as it was when I first saw it. I don’t understand.”
“I thought you would prefer it this way. When I saw you that day, the look on your face. I knew it had to be left as is, exactly the way you saw it, exactly the way you remembered it. In my heart, I knew one day you would get a chance to see it again.”
In truth, David had made sure that the house was left to Bridget in his will. In his greatest wishes he hoped that it could be a home they would enjoy together, but he wanted it to be hers, no matter what.
“There’s something I want you to see,” he said.
As he took Bridget by the hand, her first reaction was to flinch and draw back and it pained David to realize why.
Recognizing the hurt in his eyes, Bridget tried to gloss over her response.
“I’m sorry, David, I, I’m just thinking too much about Jade and her finding us. That’s all.”
David knew it was a lie, but it gave him hope that she cared enough to lie.
“I want you to see the upstairs. One of the upstairs rooms has been changed. It’s the only room in the house that’s been touched.”
Bridget had never even seen the upstairs rooms. She had been content to see the downstairs the last time she had been here. It had been more than enough to satisfy her longing for a better life.
“I can’t wait to see it. I don’t think I saw the upstairs rooms when I came here the first time. I’ll let you lead the way.”
David showed her each of the rooms in turn. The house was bigger than she originally thought. There were three bedrooms upstairs and a smaller room, which appeared to be an office.
“The room at the end of the hall is the one I would like you to see. If you’d like to change anything, feel free to—”
“But David, I—”
“I know, Bridget. I’ll explain everything in a minute. Okay?”
David was relatively sure about what Bridget was about to say and he would have been right. Bridget wasn’t quite ready to accept anything from David, including a house; even the house of her dreams, just yet. She didn’t want to give David false hope about the prospects of the two of them having a relationship; at least anything beyond mother and father to their son, Jacob.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t get a chance to come here and air the room out before I brought you and the twins here.”
Bridget couldn’t believe how nervous David was. It made her more than a little curious about what was behind the door.
As David opened the door, for the first time since David had shared with her all of the information about Jade, Buster and himself, she cried. So overwhelmed by what was an obvious gesture of love, not only for his son, but for her as well, Bridget finally let go of all the pain and fear she felt and just cried.
“David, it’s, it’s...so very beautiful.”
It was a brilliantly decorated nursery for the twins. In one area of the room, there was a beautiful antique-white curved top, three-in-one crib, which could be set up as a four-poster bed crib or a canopy crib, decorated with a white eyelet canopy with an eyelet double ruffle. Sitting near the crib was an adult-size rocking chair and matching stool, with spindle-style legs, a wide headrest, and a gently curved back and armrests. Bridget imagined herself rocking baby Jasmine and Jacob to sleep in that rocker or reading them a bedtime story, or even drifting off to sleep herself in it. Above the crib was a black-and-white mobile with various shapes and designs. The room was positively full of every imaginable stuffed animal and toy. In one corner, there were two teddy bears; one brown and one white, which seemed to be bigger and taller than even she was. But that wasn’t all. Somehow, whomever had decorated the room had designed it in such a way that despite being housed between four walls, it almost doubled as a second room. Another area of the room was what Bridget was sure was Jacob’s crib and living area. There were balls for every sport, a baseball glove, a red wagon and oodles and oodles of age-friendly toys. And the crib was royal blue in color with a crib bedding set complete with comforter, bumper, dust ruffle and fitted sheet, with every sport from baseball to hockey in its design. To top it all off, there was a blue adult-sized rocker with sports appliqués all over the chair.
Bridget couldn’t help but love this room, no matter what her little voice was saying. Despite some small reservations, she realized it couldn’t hurt to allow both Jasmine and Jacob a comfortable place to sleep; at least for now. They hadn’t been in their own cribs for hours now. She decided to get them comfortable and allow them an opportunity to relax. Bridget was a good mom and she knew that even though Jasmine and Jacob were only three months old, babies, too, were capable of feeling the stress of those around them; especially that of their mother.
“I think I’ll put them to bed,” Bridget said.
“Oh, of course, they must be exhausted.”
In fact, both Jasmine and Jacob had slept the entire trip to Long Beach in their car seats, with only slight stirs in their sleep once or twice.
“I’ll leave you to get comfortable. I’ll be downstairs. There are baby monitors throughout the house, so if you need anything, just let me know and I’ll hear you.”
Looking around the room, Bridget realized David had thought of everything. Nothing had been left out. There was a breast pump, two dressers full of every item any baby could need. He had even bought nursing bras of various sizes (probably because he wasn’t sure what size she wore). There were pacifiers, baby grooming kits...everything, including the monitors he had installed throughout the house.
“Who did all of this for you?” she asked.
“No one. I did it.”
“Yeah, right,” Bridget joked.
Bridget suddenly remembered the easy-going relationship they had shared when they worked together and enjoyed each other’s company. The late nights working and gorging themselves on Chinese dumplings and lo mein. She missed that more than she cared to admit. Right now, at this very moment, all of the drama that had secretly filled their lives was forgotten.
“No, really. I picked out every single item with my own little hands. In fact, it was kind of fun.”
“David, would you mind staying to help me with the babies?”
David was elated. Finally there was a chink in her armor, a glimmer of hope for the future. He would be sure not to get his hopes up. But, it was something.
Bridget was amazed at the ease with which David handled Jacob. He actually changed his diaper! Watching him with his son, Bridget felt brighter about the future as well, yet she, too, realized now was not the time to build up false hope, either for herself or for David. She would have to take a wait-and-see approach; a little bit at a time.
When he was done rocking Jacob to sleep in the sports rocker, he laid him peacefully in his crib. Jasmine was a little cranky and despite getting her diaper changed and Bridget breastfeeding her, she wouldn’t calm down.
“You mind if I try?” David asked.
“O-kay, I guess,” Bridget stammered.
She handed Jasmine over to David with only a slight bit of trepidation, yet as soon as he saw her beautiful daughter lying contentedly in David’s arms, all of her uncertainties melted away. He was really good with her. He sat in front of the window, rocking in the white rocking chair and talking to her. For the first time since she had known David, she felt stirrings she had never felt before. For the first time, she saw him as someone other than a really good friend and employer. Something about the ease with which they settled into this temporary domesticity warmed her in ways she could never have anticipated. She felt a physical attraction to David right now unlike anything she ever felt for any man.
“Are you hungry?” Bridget asked.
David was so engulfed in his banter with Jasmine, he hadn’t even heard her.
“I’m Uncle David and I think you and I are going to be really good friends,” he said in his baby voice. “If there’s one thing you’ve gotta know about Uncle David is I am a die-hard Mets fan. And, I’m not one of those fair-weather Mets fans either. I’m a fan, no matter what, and that’s exactly the kind of friend I am. So when you and your brother are big enough, I’ll teach you both how to throw the knuckleball that made me the envy of all the Little Leaguers at the Horace Hanover School. Speaking of which, Horace Hanover is a really great school, no pressure or anything.”
“David, she’s only three months old!” Bridget laughed.
David had been enjoying his talk with Jasmine so much he had almost forgotten Bridget was still in the room.
“Now that I have your attention...Uncle David...are you hungry?”
“Yeah, come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve had anything to eat all day. Yeah. I bought some groceries, or we could order some Chinese. I’m sure there’s a Chinese restaurant around here somewhere.”
Jasmine had finally fallen off to sleep in David’s arms. He tucked her into her crib and followed Bridget downstairs to the dining room. Bridget found a menu for a local Chinese restaurant in one of the drawers in the kitchen.
“Wanna give Peking Duck House a shot?” she asked, waving the menu at David.
“Kung Pao shrimp,” they both said on cue, laughing.
The Chinese food arrived quickly and Bridget made a place on the coffee table and sprawled out on the floor with David. The revelations of the day had left Bridget exhausted and she didn’t think she could muster the energy to sit at the dining table. The pair sat on the floor eating Kung Pao shrimp, egg rolls and lo mein—eager for the events of the day to melt away. For the most part, they had. Anyone from the outside looking in would have been hard pressed to see them as anything other than a couple relaxing in their home after having eaten dinner. The ease with which they had just shared dinner together brought back to Bridget the feelings she experienced earlier in the nursery and she couldn’t help but notice the way David looked at her; especially when he thought she wasn’t looking.
All that time Brianna had been right. David McDonnell loved her. He had loved her all these years and she had been too blind to see it. That was when it occurred to Bridget that she might actually love him, too. She hadn’t planned on loving him or expected the possibility of loving him, but maybe that was the reason she had been so short-sighted. Bridget had spent her entire life feeling unworthy of love. So, of course, when rich, handsome, accomplished David McDonnell came along, she couldn’t see the forest for the trees. But, if that were the case, why was she able to see the possibility of Stephen loving her? Bridget understood that as well. Stephen had come to McDonnell & Simpson inexperienced and needing guidance. Bridget felt that was something she could give him. She had been his champion. Bridget had always thought of herself as a victim who constantly needed saving, but in reality, she was the strong one always willing to stand up for the underdog: Jade, Stephen, even David, had all leaned on Bridget in one way or another.
“David?”
“Yes, Bridget?”
“It was never my plan to get anything from you. I wanted an honest job and, if I had known that Jade railroaded you into giving me one, I would’ve never taken it. I didn’t find out how I got this job until after I’d worked with you for quite some time. And, as usual, Jade tried to justify it and I went along with it. What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that we never got a chance to meet each other the way normal people do. Maybe we could’ve bumped into one another at a museum or something, and you could’ve asked for my phone number and I would’ve sat at home, waiting for the phone to ring, hoping you would call me.
“I don’t want you to ever think that I’ve spent all this time trying to take advantage of you. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Sometimes, I even think I quit working for you partly because you had become such a little shit,” she joked. “But, mostly because I felt guilty every single day when I realized what Jade was trying to do and what part I played in it. I never meant to hurt you. Really, I didn’t.”
“Bridget, shouldn’t I be telling you that? You have no reason at all to apologize to me. If it were up to me, I would spend my entire life trying to make it up to you for all the pain I’ve caused you.”
“No, David—”
“Let me finish, Bridget. I did a horrible, horrible thing to you, something I never even thought myself capable of. For the longest time, I blamed my raping you on Jade, on you, on alcohol, but when it really comes down to it, I am the only person to blame. Alcohol didn’t make me rape you, Jade didn’t make me rape you and you certainly didn’t ask for it. I made that decision, a conscious decision that I’ll regret for the rest of my life. For that I’m more ashamed than I’ll ever be able to put into words. For the longest time, I made myself believe that I was nothing at all like my father; a man who had no respect for women and treated them terribly, including my own mother. The truth is that I’m no different than he was. I may actually be worse. Despite my father’s various shortcomings, I don’t believe he ever raped anyone.”
“David, you’ve been there for me in so many ways, I probably should hate you, but I don’t. I had all these preconceived notions about who you were and I’m guessing that you did, too, about me. When it comes down to it, we’re both just people; fallible human beings with our strengths and our weaknesses. I saw something good in you, or I wouldn’t have enjoyed working with you so much, and I wouldn’t have enjoyed the time we spent together as friends. We were friends once?” she questioned.
“Of course we were, sweetheart. The problem was the whole time we were friends, I kept wishing we were so much more. That’s what got me into trouble. You’re precious, Bridget; a rare and beautiful jewel, to have survived all that you survived. And, I guess I wanted more than anything to be a part of that; a part of you.”
David wanted to stroke Bridget’s face, to kiss her lips and to let her know that everything was going to be alright, but he’d made that mistake before. His longing for her was so intense that he didn’t trust himself to stop. Luckily, for him, he didn’t have to labor long over his thoughts; Bridget made that decision for him. Before he could say another word, Bridget held his face in her hands, stroked his hair and kissed him with such intensity, David was sure the world, as they knew it, had rotated on its axis in the mere seconds it took for her to press her lips to his. Bridget left no doubt in either of their minds that her kiss had little to do with friendship and everything to do with raw, unbridled passion that had been smoldering for David for several years now, unbeknownst, even to her.
David was hungry for her, yet careful not to frighten her away. So often he had thought of a night much like this, he was afraid of how so many years of unrequited love would demonstrate itself, if he made love to her now. As if reading his thoughts, Bridg
et spoke to him, with such love, it took his breath away.
“David, don’t hold back. I want all of you. Show me what you’ve been thinking. I want to feel everything you’ve been feeling. David, I want you to love me.”
Although he had already seen Bridget’s naked body, it was as though he were seeing her for the very first time.
“I want to look at you,” he said.
David undressed Bridget, very slowly and methodically, anxious to savor the moment, unsure of what tomorrow would bring. He removed her clothing, piece by piece, first her skirt, then her tank top, then her bra and panties. He was content to merely gaze at her. There was a part of him that was afraid that if he touched her, she would disappear. That’s how convinced he was that it had to be a dream, but it wasn’t.
“David, I want you as much as you want me. Take me. I’m here. I’m here.”
“You’re so beautiful,” he said. “So very beautiful.”
Gone was the savage passion of the first time he had penetrated her. This time David made love to Bridget, kissing every inch of her, inhaling the sweet scent of her signature Mont Blanc cologne, which he had bought her for the very first Christmas they worked together. He remembered how thankful she was when he’d bought it for her, and since that time she had never worn anything else. The combination of cologne intermingled with the scent of baby powder, just made him want her even more. This woman he had craved since the first time he had ever laid eyes on her was the mother of his child, his best friend, and soon to be his lover. His mouth hungered for her lips, her breasts. He wanted to nibble at the base of her spine and taste places on her and inside of her that he had never had the luxury of experiencing. He suckled at her breasts, and experienced a hunger unlike any he had ever felt. The taste of mother’s milk and Bridget’s moans was enough to drive him completely insane. If ever there were a soul mate, a woman that was his one true destiny, she was his. Bridget’s eyes were closed, so enraptured with the feel of his mouth on her, but he wanted to gaze into those ochre-colored eyes of hers, and he wanted her to look into his as they made love; he wanted to know that this was what they both wanted—more than anything else in the world.