Color Me Grey

by Michelle Janine Robinson

  Bridget couldn’t help but feel responsible for all the events leading up to this blessed day. After all, it had been her association with Jade that had brought about the chain of events.

  One look at Bridget’s face and the usually jovial Brianna was suddenly reflective.

  “How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t have to feel any guilt for any of this? Jade’s mother was right. Jade was evil. And, she had no one to blame for that but herself. You hear stories all the time of people who have gone through horrific circumstances and come out on the other end of hell as people deserving of respect and honor. Jade had a tough life, but so do so many other people, including you. She chose her adult circumstances. You, nor her mother, nor Mannersville Group Home had anything to do with the choices she made in life. So, don’t waste a moment of guilt thinking about Jade, or the part she played in her own death or my broken arm. You had nothing to do with any of those things. You have a good and kind heart. You just happened to believe in the wrong person and she took advantage of that at every turn. Even until the bitter end, Bridget, you still maintained that compassion. It was Jade who remained true to the evil inside of her and she paid for that choice with her life. Now, it’s time for you to move on. You have found love, honey, despite every pitfall that was placed in both you and David’s path; the two of you found one another above all else. Let that be the force that guides you, not guilt. Guilt will only hold you back. Besides, you’ve got those two beautiful little babies to think about and they deserve to have a mother who is free of unwarranted guilt. Don’t you agree?”

  Bridget nodded her head in agreement.

  “Brianna, if I tell you something, will you promise not to laugh at me or think I’m a damn fool?”

  “I’ll try. But, I’m not making any promises.”

  “This is one of the happiest days of my life, but there’s a part of me, even with all that happened, that thinks, somehow...”

  “That Jade should be here,” Brianna finished her thoughts.

  “Yeah, does that make me an utter and complete glutton for punishment, or what?”

  “No, it doesn’t. It makes you human. It makes you a kind, loving person who doesn’t stop loving a person just because they’re a psycho maniac. And, I’m sorry to dog your girl like that but she was. She was a serious psycho. But, no, I don’t think you’re a fool. We’ve all been fools for love at one time or another. It’s usually for a man. But who says it can’t be for a friend?”

  In some ways Brianna reminded Bridget of Jade, but in so many countless other ways, she did not. Despite her often coarse exterior, Brianna had a heart of gold. She had proven herself to be a loyal friend who was willing to lay down her life for her, if need be.

  “So, you ready to get married or what? Because, that man is about to wear a hole in that ugly green carpet if you don’t leave this room right this second.”

  “Yes, I’m ready. And what do you mean ugly? This is my dream house, down to the very last knick-knack. Someone who loved me very much bought me this house before I even loved myself.”

  Bridget had never mentioned how the house had come to be and all the events leading up to it. She never told anyone. The story behind it was something special that only she and David shared, and she wanted to keep it that way. However, Brianna could easily guess who had bought the house.

  Making her descent down the stairs of her Long Beach home; the home that had been hers for years yet she hadn’t even been aware of, she couldn’t help wonder what the future held for her and her new family. Stephen had come to terms with the circumstances of Jasmine’s birth and he, Bridget and David had sat down and come up with a reasonable way for all of them to share custody of Jasmine. She doubted that she and Stephen would ever be great friends, but she did know that they both would try their damnedest to be great parents and that was enough. She didn’t know what she would tell Jasmine and Jacob of the events surrounding their birth, but she had plenty of time to figure that out. When she did, she was confident that everything would work itself out. Although she, David and Stephen had made their fair share of mistakes, they were essentially good people—each of them—and that was the most important thing.

  Bridget and David both decided together that the traditional wedding song just wouldn’t do. Instead, they had chosen the only song that seemed fit for the occasion. Brianna gave the cue for someone to start the music. They had not shared with anyone what the song would be. All everyone knew was that it was the first song on the blank CD that was already in the player.

  At last, my love has come along,

  My lonely days are over,

  And life is like a song,

  Ohhh at last

  The stars above are blue

  My heart was wrapped up in clover,

  The night I looked at you

  I found a dream that I could speak to,

  A dream that I, can call my own,

  I found a thrill, to press my cheek to,

  A thrill that I, have never known,

  Ohhh you smile, you smile

  And then the spell was cast

  And here we are in heaven,

  For you are mine, at last!

  Standing at the foot of the stairs, Bridget stopped and took in her surroundings. Her wedding to Stephen had been grandiose with hundreds of guests and opulence beyond her belief. Yet she had not felt whole. Her marriage to Stephen had been a lie because she was living a lie. Standing there about to marry David, she felt as if she were living life for the very first time. She had been granted an opportunity others seldom get. She had been given a second chance at life. David knew exactly who she was, “warts and all,” and she wouldn’t have it any other way. For the first time in her life she could just be; no lies, no hiding, no pretense. She could experience the joy of being Bridget.

  David’s breath literally caught in his throat as he watched Bridget stop before making her way toward him. He wasn’t sure if it was his realization of just how beautiful she was or fear that she might be having reservations about their nuptials. One thing he was sure of was how grateful he was that some power greater than both of them had brought the two of them together, despite countless adversities. And, that is when he thought of her—

  Marie. This time, however, his thoughts were different. So often, through the years, his thoughts had been that of longing and regret. Now, however, he thought of her with thanks. David didn’t consider himself a religious man. Yet, he couldn’t help but believe that Marie had somehow brought him and Bridget together. Waiting for the love of his life to agree to be his wife, he silently whispered, thank you.

  “You are going to give that man a heart attack,” Brianna whispered in Bridget’s ear from her place behind her.

  Bridget smiled and looked at David with loving eyes that told him everything was alright. She continued her way over to the man who had loved her long before she even knew she was loved.

  Before the minister could start the ceremony, David took Bridget in his arms, eager to hold her, not wanting to let her go.

  “Hey,” the minister interjected. “You’ll both have plenty of time for that—after.”

  The small gathering of well-wishers, which included a handful of David’s relatives, Stephen, Trevor and, surprisingly—Big Rob, all chuckled. Rob, as he now liked to be called, since forming a reputable business with David, was no longer a drug dealer and had chosen to try life straight for a change. He had been very helpful to David and Michael when they were first trying to sort out the history behind Chantal, Jade and Bridget. And, while discussing the circumstances surrounding Jade’s death, David was surprised to learn that among other things, Rob was quite a savvy businessman.

  “Dearly Beloved,” the minister began. “We are gathered together here in the sight of God—and in the face of this company—to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore—is not by any—to be entered into unadvisedly or l
ightly—but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together—let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

  “Marriage is the union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind. It is intended for their mutual joy—and for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity. But more importantly—it is a means through which a stable and loving environment may be attained.

  “Through marriage, David and Bridget make a commitment together to face their disappointments—embrace their dreams—realize their hopes—and accept each other’s failures. David and Bridget will promise one another to aspire to these ideals throughout their lives together—through mutual understanding—openness—and sensitivity to each other.

  “We are here today—before God—because marriage is one of His most sacred wishes—to witness the joining in marriage of David and Bridget. This occasion marks the celebration of love and commitment with which this man and this woman begin their life together. And now—through me—He joins you together in one of the holiest bonds.

  “Who gives this woman in marriage to this man?”

  Big Rob stood and spoke.

  “Her family and friends gathered here today do.”

  “This is a beginning and a continuation of their growth as individuals,” the minister continued. “With mutual care, respect, responsibility and knowledge comes the affirmation of each one’s own life happiness, growth and freedom. With respect for individual boundaries comes the freedom to love unconditionally. Within the emotional safety of a loving relationship—the knowledge self- offered one another becomes the fertile soil for continued growth. With care and responsibility toward self and one another comes the potential for full and happy lives.

  “By gathering together all the wishes of happiness and our fondest hopes for David and Bridget from all present here, we assure them that our hearts are in tune with theirs. These moments are so meaningful to all of us, for what greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined together—to strengthen each other in all labor—to minister to each other in all sorrow—to share with each other in all gladness.

  “This relationship stands for love, loyalty, honesty and trust but, most of all, for friendship. Before they knew love, they were friends, and it was from this seed of friendship that their destiny flourished. Do not think that you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, shall direct you.

  “Marriage is an act of faith and a personal commitment, as well as a moral and physical union between two people. Marriage has been described as the best and most important relationship that can exist between them. It is the construction of their love and trust into a single growing energy of spiritual life. It is a moral commitment that requires and deserves daily attention. Marriage should be a lifelong consecration of the ideal of loving kindness; backed with the will to make it last.”

  The minister directed his attention toward David, who was more than a little anxious to continue.

  “Do you, David D. McDonnell, take Bridget Grey to be your wife, to live together after God’s ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keeping yourself only unto her for so long as you both shall live?”

  “I will.”

  Then it was Bridget’s turn to take her vows.

  “Do you, Bridget Grey, take David D. McDonnell to be your husband, to live together after God’s ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for

  better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon him your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all

  others, keeping yourself only unto him for so long as you both shall live?”

  “I will.”

  By the time Bridget and David got to the exchange of the wedding rings, Bridget was on the brink of completely ruining Brianna’s very carefully applied makeup job.

  “What token of your love do you offer? Would you place the rings in my hand?”

  David turned to Michael, who fumbled for the rings in his pants pocket.

  “Don’t worry. Don’t worry, man. Worst comes to worst, we’ll use some beer tabs until we locate the rings.”

  Noting the look of exasperation on David’s face, Michael figured this wasn’t the best time to joke.

  “Damn, man, can’t you take a joke? Here they are. I’ve got the rings right here.”

  Michael then handed the rings to the minister, while David rolled his eyes in mock annoyance.

  “May these rings be blessed as the symbol of this affectionate unity. These two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle. Wherever they go, may they always return to one another. May these two find in each other the love for which all men and women bear. May they grow in understanding and in compassion. May the home that they establish together be such a place that many will find there a friend. May these rings on their fingers symbolize the touch of the spirit of love in their hearts.”

  The minister handed one of the rings to David.

  “David, in placing this ring on Bridget’s finger, repeat after me: Bridget, you are now consecrated to me as my wife, from this day forward. I give you this ring as the pledge of my love and as the symbol of our unity. With this ring, I thee wed.”

  David gazed into Bridget’s eyes. He had waited so long for this day and it was hard for him to believe that he wasn’t dreaming. He couldn’t remember ever being this happy.

  “Bridget, you are now consecrated to me as my wife, from this day forward. I give you this ring as the pledge of my love and as the symbol of our unity. With this ring, I thee wed.”

  The minister then handed the other ring to Bridget.

  “Bridget, in placing this ring on David’s finger, repeat after me: David, you are now consecrated to me as my husband, from this day forward. I give you this ring as the pledge of my love and as the symbol of our unity. With this ring, I thee wed.”

  Bridget thought of the words the minister had spoken, grasping the meaning. Suddenly, for the first time in her life, she was part of someone and someone was a part of her. She had her very own family.

  “David, you are now consecrated to me as my husband, from this day forward. I give you this ring as the pledge of my love and as the symbol of our unity. With this ring, I thee wed.”

  “May you always share with each other the gifts of love, be one in heart and in mind, and may you always create a home together that puts love, generosity, and kindness in your hearts.”

  “In as much as David and Bridget have consented together in marriage before this company of friends and family, and have pledged their faith, and declared their unity by giving and receiving a ring, they are now joined.”

  “You’ve pronounced yourselves husband and wife but remember to always be each other’s best friend.”

  “What therefore...God has joined together...let no man put asunder.”

  “And so, by the power vested in me, by the State of New York and Almighty God, I now pronounce you man and wife. May your days be good and long upon the earth.”

  “You may now kiss the bride!”

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Michelle Janine Robinson’s short story “Mi Destino” was included in Zane’s New York Times bestseller Caramel Flava

  and her short story contribution “The Quiet Room” was the first featured story in the Times bestseller Succulent: Chocolate Flava II. Michelle has contributed to other anthologies, such

  as Purple Panties, with the story she wrote titled “Hailey’s Orgasmic Splendor” and Honey Flava with the story “The Flow of Qi.” Michelle is also a contributor to the o
ral sex-themed anthology, Tasting Him, with her story “A Tongue Is Just

  A Tongue,” edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. Michelle is a native New Yorker and the mother of identical twin boys.

  She is currently working on her next novel, Serial Typical.

  You can find Michelle at www.myspace.com/justef,

  www.facebook.com/michelle.j.robinson or follow her

  at www.twitter.com/MJanineRobinson.

  IF YOU ENJOYED “C OLOR ME GREY,” CHECK OUT THIS SNEAK PEEK AT MICHELLE JANINE ROBINSON’S

  NEXT NOVEL,

  More Than

  Meets the Eye

  COMING JANUARY 2011 FROM STREBOR BOOKS

  PROLOGUE

  The crushing weight of him was strong enough to rob her of her breath. She struggled beneath him, sensing his next move, inhaling his scent. She could feel him, could just barely reach out her hands to touch him; yet, as if she were suddenly blind, she could not see him; darkness enveloped every corner of her world. Her long, slender finger, grasped at the sheets beneath her, reaching for anything, hoping to find the strength to scream. She reasoned with herself, assuring her conscious mind that she was not crazy, only asleep.

  “Yes,” she spoke to herself, amidst her haze. “This is little more than an extremely vivid dream; the end result of normal, everyday stress and eating that spicy-ass Indian food she had for dinner, way too close to bedtime. That had to be it.”

  She prayed that was it. Because, if it were not, then it meant that she was dealing with something far beyond her own comprehension, or anyone else’s for that matter. Or, even worse, maybe she was going completely insane.