Along for the Ride

by Sarah Dessen

  By the time we got to the pink room, Isby was all-out fussing, working up to one of her fits. Eli stepped inside, flicking on the light, then said, ‘Got a blanket?’

  ‘A blanket?’ He nodded. ‘In the dresser. Third drawer, maybe?’

  I watched, jiggling Isby a bit as he walked over, rummaging around for a minute before pulling out a pink one with brown dots. He glanced at it, then shut the drawer. ‘We need a bed,’ he said. ‘Something flat. Where’s your room?’

  ‘Next door,’ I said. ‘But I don’t –’

  He was already walking next door, leaving me no choice but to follow. Once there, he spread the blanket out on the bed sideways, then folded down the top corner. ‘Okay,’ he said, holding out his hands. ‘Give her here.’

  I shot him a doubtful look. ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Didn’t you hear my mom?’ he asked. ‘You’re supposed to trust me.’

  ‘She said to trust her,’ I pointed out.

  ‘You don’t trust me?’

  I looked at him, then at the blanket, then at Isby, who was all-out squawking, and had a flash of him leading me to the center of the floor at Tallyho, not even a full day ago. I handed her over.

  Isby was wailing, her face getting redder and redder as he carefully laid her down, her head just on the edge of the folded blanket. Then, as she writhed around, he put her left arm to her side and pulled the bottom tip of the blanket up and across her, then tucked the bottom corner over her shoulder. With each step, Isby wailed louder.

  ‘Eli,’ I said, raising my voice to be heard. ‘You’re making it worse.’

  He didn’t hear me, moving to the last corner, which he pulled tight across her waist and around her. Isby was allout screaming now.

  ‘Eli,’ I said again, practically yelling, as he pulled the last corner tight and started to tuck it into one of the other folds, ‘stop it. She’s not –’

  And then, suddenly, it was silent. It happened so abruptly and completely that for a moment I was sure Isby had died. But when I looked at her, and she was just lying there, all wrapped up like a tiny burrito, blinking at us.

  ‘– crying,’ I finished. Eli reached down, picking her up, and handed her back to me. ‘How did you do that?’

  ‘It’s not me,’ he said as I eased myself carefully onto the bed. Isby opened her mouth, but only yawned, then settled against me. ‘It’s the swaddle. It’s like magic. My mom swears by it.’

  ‘It’s amazing,’ I said. ‘How does she know all this?’

  ‘She was a maternity ward nurse,’ he replied. ‘Just retired last year. Plus my brother and sister have four kids between them. Add in all of us, and she’s had a lot of practice.’

  There was a light tap on the door, and then Mrs. Stock stuck her head in. ‘Heidi’s going to take a little rest,’ she said. ‘Let’s go downstairs.’

  Eli and I followed her down the hall, past Heidi’s room, where I could see a small sliver of light under the closed door. Just as I started down the steps, it went out.

  In the kitchen, Mrs. Stock went to the sink, where she washed her hands, then dried them on a paper towel. ‘All right,’ she said, turning to me with a smile. ‘Give me that baby.’

  I did, and she took her, easing down into a chair, and I watched as she brushed her fingers over Isby’s forehead. ‘This is a good swaddle,’ she said.

  ‘Eli’s a pro,’ I told her.

  ‘Just well trained,’ he said, and we both watched as she rocked Isby slowly, patting her back with her hand.

  ‘Thank you for coming,’ I said finally. ‘Heidi’s been having kind of a hard time. But when I got home and found her like that… I didn’t know what to do.’

  ‘She’s a new mom,’ Mrs. Stock said, still looking down at Isby. ‘She’s exhausted.’

  ‘My dad tried to convince her to get help. But she wouldn’t do it.’

  Mrs. Stock adjusted the blanket a bit. ‘When I had Steven, my oldest, my mother came and lived with me for a month. I couldn’t have done it without her.’

  ‘Heidi’s mom died a couple of years ago.’

  ‘She mentioned that,’ she said, and I thought of Heidi’s face, crumpled, as she curled into Mrs. Stock, there in the dark. I wondered what else she’d said. ‘The truth is, being a mom is the hardest job in the world. But she’ll be fine. She just needs some rest.’

  We all considered this as Isby, way ahead of us all, closed her eyes. Mrs. Stock looked at Eli. ‘You,’ she said, ‘would be well advised to go to bed as well. Don’t you work in the morning?’

  ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘But –’

  ‘Then get on home,’ she replied. ‘Leave me your keys. You can pick up the truck tomorrow.’

  ‘So I’m walking?’ he asked.

  She gave him a flat look. ‘Eli Joseph. It’s four blocks. You’ll survive.’

  Eli grumbled, but he was smiling as he dropped his keys onto the table. ‘Thanks, Mom,’ he said. She offered him her cheek, and he kissed it, then turned toward the door. I followed him out onto the porch.

  ‘So,’ I said, glancing back into the kitchen, where Mrs. Stock was still rocking Isby, ‘guess it’s an early night.’

  ‘Guess so,’ he said. ‘Mom doesn’t exactly know about my nocturnal habits.’

  ‘She wouldn’t approve?’

  He shook his head. ‘Nope. In her mind, no good can come after midnight.’

  I looked up at him, then smiled. ‘Well, I have to say, your mom’s amazing. But I don’t agree with that.’

  ‘She is amazing,’ he said. ‘And I don’t either.’ Then he leaned down, kissing me, and I slid my arms around his neck, pulling him a little closer. I could have stood there all night, good or no good, but then he was pulling back, glancing over my head at the kitchen. ‘I better go.’

  I nodded. ‘See you tomorrow.’

  He smiled, then stepped off the porch and started down the front walk. I waved one last time, then watched him until he disappeared into the dark just past the streetlight’s glow. Up in my room, I leaned out my window and looked down the road in the direction he’d gone. It was a long, flat road, and as it got later there were only a few lights visible, here and there. I picked one that I figured was about four blocks down. Then I watched it like a star, burning bright, all the way until morning.

  Chapter

  ELEVEN

  It was a week later, and my brother was scheduled to arrive around five P.M. At four thirty, my phone rang.

  ‘I’m only calling,’ my mother said, ‘to warn you.’

  She and I had not spoken since her own visit to Colby had ended so disastrously, a fact that seemed to now be behind us, if this contact was any indication. Still, I was cautious as I said, ‘Warn me about what?’

  There was a pause as she took a sip of what I assumed was her early glass of wine. Then she said, ‘The Laura.’

  The qualifier pretty much said it all, but I bit anyway. ‘What? You don’t like her?’

  ‘Auden,’ she said. I could almost hear her shudder. ‘She’s horrible. Horrible. I don’t know what your brother got into over there, but clearly, it’s given him brain damage. This girl, she’s… she’s…’

  Rarely had my mother ever been at a loss for words. I was actually starting to get a little worried.

  ‘… a scientist,’ she finished. ‘One of those cold, methodical types, all about hypotheses and control groups. And her ego in assuming that everyone else is interested in it as well? Unparalleled. Last night she bored us for an entire dinner talking about myelinated cells.’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘Exactly,’ she said. ‘There’s no heart to this girl, no soul. She’s only a few years older than your brother but acts like a Puritan schoolmarm. I have no doubt she’ll take everything unique about Hollis and suck it out of him. It’s horrifying.’

  I looked out my open door, down the hall, where I could see Heidi sweeping out my father’s office, which had been converted into a second guest room. Thisbe was pa
rked in her bouncy seat, watching her.

  Since that bad night, things had been a little better. In the end, Mrs. Stock had stayed over, tending to Isby, and when I came down late the following morning, she had just left. I found Heidi in the kitchen, with the swaddled baby in her arms, looking more rested than she had in weeks.

  ‘That woman,’ she said in lieu of a hello, ‘is a miracle worker.’

  ‘Yeah?’

  She nodded. ‘She was here for three hours this morning, and I already know about a hundred percent more than I did yesterday. Did you realize that swaddling helps a baby feel secure and fuss less?’

  ‘I did not,’ I said. ‘But it appears to be true.’

  ‘And she helped me raise the baby’s mattress, which will reduce her gas, and said I should buy a swing to help her sleep. Plus, she knew exactly what to do about my nipples being so sore!’

  I winced. ‘Heidi. Please.’

  ‘Sorry, sorry.’ She waved her free hand at me. ‘But really. I’m so grateful to you for bringing her here. I mean, she’s even offered to come by again, if I need help, but I don’t know. Last night was just so strange. I don’t know what happened. I was just so tired…’

  ‘It’s fine,’ I said, as always wanting to avoid a big emotional moment. ‘I’m just glad you feel better.’

  ‘I do,’ she said, looking down at Isby again. ‘I really do.’

  Since then, she had seemed to be in better spirits, and Isby was sleeping a bit more, which was good for everyone. Still, Mrs. Stock had dropped by a couple more times, although I always seemed to miss her. When she’d visited, though, I could always tell. Heidi just seemed happier.

  Unlike my mother, who was still going on about Laura and how she was sucking out my brother’s joie de vivre, one myelinated cell at a time. ‘I don’t know,’ I said to her now. ‘He seems to really like her.’

  ‘Your brother likes everyone!

  That’s always been his fatal flaw.’ Another dark sigh. ‘You’ll see when you meet her, Auden. She’s just…’

  I glanced back out my window, just in time to see a silver Honda pulling into the driveway. ‘Here,’ I finished for her. ‘I better go.’

  ‘God help you,’ she muttered. ‘Call me later.’

  I told her I would, then closed my phone and walked out into the hallway just as my dad was yelling up to Heidi that Hollis had arrived.

  ‘Ready to go meet your brother?’ she said to Thisbe, bending down to unbuckle her from her seat. Together, we walked to the top of the stairs just as my dad opened the front door.

  I could see Hollis getting out of the car, and even though it had been more than two years that he’d been gone, he looked pretty much the same. A little skinnier, his hair somewhat shaggier. When Laura stepped out of the passenger side, she, too, looked awfully familiar, although at first I couldn’t figure out why. Then Heidi gasped.

  ‘Oh, my God,’ she said. ‘Laura looks just like your mother!’

  She was right. Same long dark hair, same dark clothes, same pale, pale skin. Laura was a little shorter and curvier, but still, the resemblance was striking. The closer they got, the more it freaked me out.

  ‘There he is!’ my dad said, pulling Hollis in for a hug as he stepped over the threshold. ‘The world traveler returns!’

  ‘Look at you, proud papa!

  Where’s that baby girl?’ Hollis said, grinning.

  ‘Right here,’ Heidi said, starting down the stairs. I made myself follow her, even as Laura came in the door, taking off her sunglasses and folding them. Her eyes were dark, too. ‘This is Thisbe.’

  Hollis immediately reached for the baby, lifting her up high over his head. She looked down at him, as if trying to make up her mind whether to start crying or not. ‘Oh, boy,’ he said. ‘You’re gonna be trouble. I can just tell!’

  My dad and Heidi laughed, but I kept my eyes on Laura, who was standing just off to the side, still holding her sunglasses, watching this scene with a somewhat clinical expression. After a moment of Hollis making googly faces at the baby, she very quietly – but pointedly – cleared her throat.

  ‘Oh, babe, sorry!’ Hollis handed Thisbe off to my dad, then reached an arm over Laura’s shoulders, pulling her in closer to everyone else. ‘Everyone, this is my fiancée, Laura.’

  ‘Fiancée?’ my dad said. ‘You didn’t mention that in your phone call. When did you…’

  Laura smiled, showing no teeth. ‘We didn’t,’ she said. ‘Hollis is just…’

  ‘Confident,’ my brother finished for her. ‘And ready. Even if she isn’t.’

  ‘I keep telling Hollis that marriage is serious,’ Laura said. Her voice was very even and clear, like she was used to having the room’s attention. ‘You can’t just jump into it like an airplane.’

  Dad and Heidi and I just stood there, not sure what to make of this, but Hollis just laughed. ‘That’s my girl! She’ll break my impulsive streak yet.’

  ‘Oh, don’t do that,’ my dad said to Laura, clapping Hollis on the shoulder again. ‘We love that about this guy.’

  ‘Impulsiveness can be charming,’ she agreed. ‘But deliberation can have an appeal, as well.’

  My dad raised his eyebrows. ‘Actually,’ he said, his tone a bit sharper than before, ‘I –’

  ‘You must be exhausted from your trip!’ Heidi said, reaching to take Thisbe from my father. ‘Let’s go and have a cold drink. We’ve got lemonade, beer, wine…’

  She turned, starting for the kitchen, and Hollis and my dad immediately fell in behind her, leaving me with Laura. I watched as she examined her sunglasses, then took a corner of her black shirt, slowly rubbing a spot on one lens clean before again folding them shut. Then she looked up at me, as if surprised to find me still standing there.

  ‘It’s really nice to meet you,’ I said, for lack of anything better. ‘Hollis seems… he’s very happy.’

  She nodded. ‘He’s a very happy person,’ she said, although from her tone, I couldn’t tell if she thought this was an asset or not.

  ‘Babe!’ my brother yelled. ‘Get in here! You gotta see this view!’

  Laura gave me another tight smile, then walked into the living room. I waited a beat or two, then followed her, stopping in the kitchen, where my dad and Heidi were huddled together by the sink, pouring lemonade into glasses.

  ‘… her first time meeting us,’ Heidi was saying. ‘She’s probably just nervous.’

  ‘Nervous? You call that nervous?’ my dad replied.

  Heidi said something else, but I didn’t hear her, having turned my attention to my brother and Laura. They were standing in front of the open glass doors, the ocean a wide, clear blue in front of them. Hollis had his arm around her shoulders, gesturing with one hand as he said something about the horizon, but even from the back I could tell Laura was not particularly impressed. It was something about the posture, the way her head was slightly tilted to the side. Sure, she was a stranger. But I’d seen it before.

  ‘So you don’t like her.’

  I looked over at Eli. ‘I didn’t say that.’

  ‘You didn’t have to.’

  He pulled a container of milk off the shelf, sticking it in the cart. It was one thirty A.M., and we were at Park Mart, doing a little shopping. As it was a Monday night, we had the place pretty much to ourselves, and the quiet was just what I’d needed, having earlier endured a two-hour family dinner that had basically devolved into an argument between my dad and Laura about capital punishment. This followed their spirited discussion about university funding (liberal arts versus sciences) over cocktails, which had come after a protracted debate about environmental policy during lunch. For me, it was like watching an adaptation of the last couple of years of my parents’ marriage, just with someone else playing the role of My Mom.

  ‘It’s just,’ I said to Eli, pushing the cart forward to follow him out of the grocery section and into sporting goods, ‘she’s really different from all the other girls Hollis has dated.’
<
br />   ‘And what were they like?’

  A blur of gorgeous, friendly faces appeared in my mind. ‘Nice,’ I finally said. ‘Sweet. More like Hollis.’

  Eli stopped to check out a camping stove, then moved on. ‘He didn’t want to marry any of the others, though. Right?’

  I considered this as we passed a collection of catcher’s mitts. ‘Not for more than a few minutes.’

  ‘But this girl he says is the one.’ We were coming up on the bike section now, several lined up in a row, from kids’ sizes to adult. He pulled a midsize bike off the rack, bouncing it on its front tire. ‘So it seems to me, it doesn’t matter what you or your mom or dad think. Relationships don’t always make sense. Especially from the outside.’

  ‘But this is Hollis,’ I pointed out. ‘He’s never been serious about anything.’

  He climbed onto the bike, then rose up on the pedals, moving slowly forward. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘maybe he just found the right person. People change.’

  He was riding around me and the cart, and as I watched him I thought of my mother, saying these same two words with a don’t between them, with equal conviction. ‘You know,’ I said finally, ‘everyone thinks you never ride anymore.’

  ‘I don’t.’

  I rolled my eyes, since he was passing me again as he said this. ‘Then how come I’m watching you do it right now?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘What do you think?’

  The truth was, I wasn’t sure. But I wanted to keep believing people could change, and it was certainly easier to do so when you were in the midst of it. The way I imagined I was as I stood there, aware of a slight breeze each time he passed, like a wave, the feeling of motion.

  I’d been at Clementine’s for over an hour, catching up on paperwork, when I got the distinct feeling someone was watching me. And that someone was Maggie.