The Circle Blueprint

by Jack Skeen

You have now completed your Circle Blueprint assessment, whether online or through self‐reflection, and should have a pretty good idea of those aspects that you have mastered and the ones that will require some attention. You should be proud of having cultivated those aspects of greatness that are robust in your Circle. They are likely to be the very attributes that are the foundation of your current success and of the positive difference you are making in the lives of those around you.

  At the same time, those traits that are underdeveloped are showing you precisely where you are limiting your greatness and where you have work to do. The exercises we provided at the end of previous chapters are only intended to be pointers toward the work you need to embrace. We know you will want more assistance and guidance.

  To that end, we have created workbooks that expand on each of the four key elements necessary to have a robust and healthy Circle. In those workbooks you will find the step‐by‐step instruction necessary to continue to expand your Circle and your impact. We encourage you to continue the journey you have started. The wise man puts to use everything he learns in life. The fool is attracted to new ideas but never does anything with them. Choose to be wise. More information about the workbooks can be found at www.thecircleblueprint.com.

  Ascending Your Throne

  Our purpose in writing this book is to inspire you to believe in your innate greatness and to learn to feed and nurture that greatness for the good of the world and for your personal satisfaction. It is easy to spend your days and years being less that your very best self. We are surrounded by a world of people who have settled for mediocrity. Many of us were raised by people who lacked the vision to see who we truly are. Many of the habits we have developed serve only to maintain the status quo; they don't push us toward our greatness.

  You cannot feed what you cannot see. Until you can see at least the smallest seeds of greatness in yourself, you cannot nurture and strengthen it.

  We conclude this book with a variety of pictures that might help you see your greatness more clearly.

  Picture 1: You Are Already Rich

  You might imagine that money will make you rich. You might wish to live in a bigger home, to own a nicer car, to be able to afford a luxurious vacation. Aren't these the signs of being rich? Doesn't everyone want more of these things?

  We have known too many people who are rich in material ways while being very poor in life.

  Our friend in Chicago was the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. He was at the pinnacle of his career. He had risen through the ranks at some of the biggest and most successful companies in the world. He had been making a lot of money his whole career. He had a beautiful home on the North Shore—an upscale area of Chicago—and a lavish second home on a golf course in a swank resort in the South. He had arrived. He had the success, money, and influence everyone wants.

  Right?

  You would think he would have been one of the happiest and most contented men in the world. Not so! Despite his success, he was terrified. He had no tolerance for bad news. When his leadership team told him anything negative he would fly into a rage. He would turn beet red, the veins on his neck would stick out, and he would foam at the mouth such that spittle would land on the person to whom he was speaking. It was quite an unpleasant experience to disappoint this wealthy man. As we got to know him, we discovered that he had no sense of security with regard to his success. He worried about losing it all: his position, his wealth, his homes, and his reputation. He operated as if it was likely that he would be living in a cardboard box on Wacker Drive sometime in the not‐too‐distant future.

  Despite the fact that we reminded him that his success was not an accident and that he was an exceptionally talented man, he was in the grip of a fear that robbed him of any sense of joy, peace, and security. His wealth had not made him rich. He was actually quite poor!

  There is certainly nothing wrong with having money. But it is also true that money is not the source of true riches. Those who are truly rich understand that true riches come from the quality of your life. Money can buy things, but things do not create quality of life. This is one of the worst seductions in life.

  So, we ask you, “What will it take for you to be rich?” If you immediately think of a long list of possessions that you must have to feel rich, you are on the wrong track. Instead, you might pause and consider all that you currently possess and realize you are already rich beyond measure.

  Do you have your health? What is that worth? Would you trade your health for any amount of money?

  Do you have people in your life who love you? Here is treasure money cannot buy.

  Do you have purpose in your life? Does your life matter to others? You are truly rich if you make a difference in the lives of others, whomever they might be.

  Do you have enough food for today, a roof over your head, clothes to wear? Then all of your needs are met. You need nothing.

  Did you have the opportunity to laugh today, to sing in the shower, to bring a smile to the face of a stranger?

  You are already rich in so many ways. As you notice your true wealth, you will free up greater capacity for your greatness to expand.

  Picture 2: You Are Truly a King or a Queen

  Who do you see when you look in the mirror? If you see someone who is needy, weak, or inadequate in any way, you aren't seeing clearly. You need to look again. Do you know who you really are? You are a great king or queen. You have the ability to envision great things and to bring those things to life. You have power to rule your kingdom with wisdom and grace such that all around you thrive and are blessed. You possess riches beyond imagination and stores in your warehouses that cannot be exhausted. You have influence to sway the course of history, to end suffering, and to expand goodness. You are powerful in your character, a person of substance, someone whom others notice. People listen when you speak. They long to be around you. They take comfort in your leadership. They see their greatness in your empowerment. You bless the poor, heal the sick, bring justice to the downtrodden, and radiate blessing wherever you go. That is who you really are.

  There was a time when you knew this about yourself, at least to some extent. When you were a child and dreamed of what you would be it was someone of importance, someone of value. Perhaps you would grow up to be the president, or a doctor, or an astronaut, or a professional athlete. You believed there was something special about you that would one day come to light.

  Perhaps you lost sight of your greatness through your journey in life. Without a mentor you made mistakes and wandered away from your path of greatness. Perhaps you settled for less than who you are. It happens to many of us. You acquired responsibilities and then settled into a job that would pay the bills even if it may have been unfulfilling. You got yourself bogged down in a relationship that was conflicted but the price seemed too high to unwind it. Or perhaps you just stopped dreaming. Your life became a drudgery of getting by.

  That is not who you are. Until you can see at least the spark of your greatness, you will have difficulty expanding it. Your greatness is meant to be your compass heading, your lighthouse, and your guide. You are meant to follow its path so that your greatness expands and overtakes all that is ordinary in your life.

  We want to share some stories about seemingly ordinary people we know who are, nevertheless, rulers over their individual kingdoms. These are people of greatness, dignity, and substance. We share their stories as an illustration because we hope you see your reflection in their faces. Any of these could be your story. Certainly, your story could be added to theirs.

  Linda Linda works in the office of a nearby church. She doesn't care much about titles, material possessions, or being seen as special by others. Yet, there is an innocence to her that is otherworldly. Most people have armor, protection that has built up in reaction to the pain and difficulty of life. She has none. She radiates openness, honesty, and a genuine love for others. It is her greatness. Other people see it as well. They talk about how loving and h
elpful she is with everyone, every day. This is her gift to bring to the world. This is her kingdom over which she rules with goodness and grace.

  John We met John many years ago. He put everything he had at risk in an experiment to create campus environments for retirees. It was his belief that senior citizens need an affordable retirement option that allows them to stay active, be involved, and socialize. His projects became the model for retirement communities across the country. He became wealthy. But, that wasn't how he was a great king. When he walked through the community, he knew everyone's name and they knew his. He cared for each person and for their welfare. He knew everything about his communities—down to how many dishes should be stacked on each shelf and the best temperature for the pools. He had created Camelot for elderly people. They were blessed by his vision and his care. In this way, he was a great king.

  Diana Diana led a sales team for a major company. She was a focused, extremely hard‐working, and demanding leader. She produced results. Her team hit its numbers year after year. She was very good at her job. But her greatness shined through when she had to lay people off for the first time. As she announced the layoff to her team she began to cry. It was obvious to everyone that this was one of the most difficult things she had ever done because she loved every one of her people. It was her love for her people that was her greatness. She watched over them, protected them, and encouraged them. Her people thrived under her leadership.

  We could go on and on. These stories are endless. And they aren't about people who are typically glorified in books or in the media. They are stories about people like you and us: seemingly ordinary people who can be extraordinarily great.

  Can you see the greatness in yourself? Can you see that you have a story similar to theirs? It is so important that you clearly see your greatness. It may appear in some little thing that truly matters to you. You may be moved to stand up for someone who is being bullied. You might find yourself giving a dollar to someone who is homeless. You might notice how tenderly you love your child. You might be working an extra job because you want your family to have some stability. Wherever you see the depth of your love or your nobility, you will find the seeds of your greatness. Greatness comes from the intersection of the spiritual world with the material one. Wherever you are the conduit for goodness and grace in the world, you become great.

  Picture 3: Don't Worry, Be Happy!

  You know you are leaning into your greatness when your days are filled with joy and fun. Happiness is the emotional indicator of being on the right path. Similarly, frustration, irritation, resentment, and unhappiness are all signs of being off the path of your greatness. Perhaps one of the greatest seductions and deceits in life is the willingness to endure unhappiness in the hope of a better situation in the future. You simply don't properly estimate the damage done to your being by living in negativity. It is toxic soil for your soul. Unhappiness is the warning bell that tells you of the need for a change. It is not worth working in a job you dislike because it pays well. It is not worth staying in a contentious relationship because you are afraid of being alone. It is not wise to deprive yourself now to save all you can to secure your future.

  A dear friend of ours traveled to Ethiopia to spend time with his daughter who was serving a year as a missionary. Ethiopia is as poor a country as he had found. Riding through the capital city, he passed a lot filled with animal bones and vultures tearing at whatever scraps the butchers had missed. The smell was awful. Packs of children surrounded him everywhere begging for whatever he might give. Meat, covered with flies, was sold from open stalls. The people lived in small huts with a simple fire in the middle.

  Yet, despite their abject poverty, he had not found a people with greater joy. These people who had nothing radiated a goodness and grace that was infectious. Despite having almost nothing, everyone welcomed him and his daughter into their homes and shared the very best portion of whatever they were serving. How could it be that people who had so little material wealth possessed such a peace and joy?

  Happiness is crucial to greatness. Happiness is evidence that you are living the life that belongs to you. It is the sign that you are honoring your balance. Happiness is a richness that can be shared endlessly without depleting you in the least.

  We challenge you to live today with happiness as your guide. Ask yourself if you are happy right now. What is making you happy? What is limiting your happiness? What can you change to make yourself happier? Are you willing to make the change? If not, what is more important than your happiness? Why? Experiment with making small changes and notice the impact on your life.

  Picture 4: Fill Your Life with Meaning and Purpose

  Viktor Frankl (Frankl 1959) was a Jewish psychiatrist imprisoned in the Nazi concentration camps. He noticed that some prisoners seemed to endure their suffering and deprivation much better than did others. It was perplexing because it wasn't necessarily the physically strong who were able to sustain themselves under such wretched conditions. He found the true key to survival was maintaining a sense of meaning and purpose. Those who lost track of meaning and purpose deteriorated quickly, lost hope, and succumbed. Those who found ways to preserve and feed meaning and purpose were able to endure their suffering without it breaking their spirit.

  So profound was this insight, Frankl used it as the basis of a new approach to psychotherapy that he called “Logo therapy.” He was convinced that meaning and purpose are just as significant for thriving in ordinary life as they were in the prison camp. Regular people, like you and me, need to have a sense of purpose to make sense of our lives. He writes, “Man's search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life. . . . This meaning is unique and specific in that it must and can be fulfilled by him alone; only then does it achieve a significance that can satisfy his own will to meaning.”

  Could meaning be so important in your life? How is it that the poor can be so rich and the rich can be so poor?

  It might be easy to attribute the difference to background, opportunity, economics, or circumstance, but there are simply too many rags to riches stories of people who emerged from the worst of circumstances to live amazing lives to not seek some deeper and more fundamental factor.

  Could it be true that those who expand their Circles have found the pathway of true life meaning?

  NFL star Jason Brown quit playing football professionally and now spends his days as a farmer who harvests free food for the hungry.

  Jason Brown was drafted by the Baltimore Ravens in the fourth round of the 2005 National Football League draft and played college football at North Carolina. On February 28, 2009, Brown signed a five‐year deal with the St. Louis Rams that was worth $37.5 million and included a $20 million guarantee. At the time, the deal made Brown the highest paid center in the NFL. On March 12, 2012, he was released by the Rams and decided to take his life in a new direction.

  After he left football, Brown purchased a 1,030‐acre farm near Louisburg, North Carolina, where he harvests food for the hungry.

  Last weekend, Brown gave away 46,000 pounds of sweet potatoes, in addition to the 10,000 pounds of cucumbers that he has already given away.

  “You look over a sweet potato field and you don't see a crop, the vines are kind of wilting. There is nothing there to pick. You've got to have faith. I went out to plow up the potatoes last week and looked behind the tractor. I don't know if I've ever seen anything quite as beautiful as those big brown potatoes lying everywhere,” Brown told a local journalist.

  Brown made a choice. He had become great in the world's eyes by becoming the highest paid center in the NFL. He certainly didn't need money. He could have easily milked his sports career for many years and then gone on the speaker's circuit to tell football war stories throughout the country.

  Instead, he bought a farm. Perhaps he liked a rural life and looked forward to kicking back on a wide porch, sipping a drink, and watching the sun set. No, he is on a tractor cultivating, sowing, and reaping. Not for t
he money. Not because he needs the food but to give it away. He chose greatness. He dramatically expanded the impact of his life beyond that of his football career. He is creating ripples of goodness in the world that will go on for a very long time and may expand exponentially.

  Who knows who his food will feed? Perhaps one of those people will go on to cure cancer or solve global warming. Or, perhaps one of the mouths he feeds will remember his gift and will pass it on by sharing with those who have less. Jason is changing the world. He is a truly rich man.

  Your life, too, has meaning, even if you don't always recognize it. Things matter to you. You get out of bed every day for a reason. You may not have given much thought to those things that deeply matter to you, but you should. The more clearly you understand that which gives your life meaning, the more fully you can align yourself with it. Your greatness shows up in the things that deeply matter to you (Hartman 2014).

  Chapter 16

  Conclusion

  At the start of our journey together through this book, we asked one simple question: Are you as happy as you would like to be? We believe it is your right to shine, to thrive, to live a life of purpose and meaning that makes you truly and deeply satisfied. Our goal has been both to provide you with insights into how to achieve the thriving level of happiness you so richly deserve as well as to inspire you to seek your greatness—we have done so by highlighting how to grow and balance your Circle. We hope we have done both and prompted you to think some new thoughts and to feel your heart and soul expand. Our bigger hope is that you will have taken a deliberate step to grow in your greatness.

  As we reach the end of our journey through this book, we hope our journey together continues. We hope the Circle provides a tool for you to continually assess yourself and take steps toward thriving. Remember, the great people we admire—those who truly seem to be thriving—are only ordinary people who drew a big Circle for their lives. That Circle required them to become the thriving person they became. How did they do it, we might ask?