Matchmakers, no. 1

by Bernadette Marie

  His hand dropped to the afghan draped over the back of the couch. Katie had made it for her. Those were the only items he recognized. He felt his knees go weak, and he sat down. Her scent rose around him. He realized she’d come to the home they shared with only those few items. That was all Sophia Burkhalter was then. And now?

  David stood and continued on his tour of the tiny apartment. He saw the kitchen from where he stood. A window overlooked the fire escape, and there was enough room for one person to turn around and cook a meal. There wasn’t even a kitchen table.

  The wall in the living room had boxes lined up against it. Just as she’d told him, she’d never unpacked. He walked toward the bedroom and smiled when he noticed it was the most put-together room.

  The four-poster bed was dark cherry and matched the dresser that was crammed in beside it. Draped on the bed was a handmade quilt, again a memento that Katie had made her. Her television was on her dresser.

  Walking to the window, he pushed back the curtains. The Space Needle met his stare. The rain had stopped, and the sun shone through. He turned to see a chair in the corner with a book on the arm. He picked up the book, Memories of Love: A Book of Poems. He opened it and began to thumb through the pages when he noticed something fall to the floor.

  David knelt to pick up the fallen object. Again, he felt his knees go weak, and he sat down in the chair.

  His eyes fixed on the item—a picture of him and Sophia in front of their house. He stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her tightly, his chin resting on her shoulder. They smiled, and she held the keys to the house. Millie had taken the picture, he remembered.

  The phone rang, startling him. He stood to cross to it and then stopped and let the machine answer it.

  “You’ve reached Sophia. You know I’d love to chat. Leave me a message.” Her voice filled the small area. He could feel her all around him, and he smiled until he heard the voice leaving the message.

  “Dammit! Why can I not remember your cell phone number? Oh, it has to be in this mess. Sophia, Bella, you must come home. I’m lost without you.” The unmistakable voice of Pablo DiAngelo stabbed at him like a knife in the heart. “I love you. I miss you. Please, if you get my messages, call me, Bella. I need you. Ciao.”

  David felt sick. He wasn’t sure he could stay there. He barely realized the ringing in his ears was the sound of his cell phone. He reached in his pocket and pulled it out.

  “Hello.” The fatigue of the past few days made his voice flat.

  “David?”

  “Sophie.” Her name softened his voice, and he sat back on the bed.

  “Did you make it to my place?”

  “I’m here now.”

  “Horrible, isn’t it?” She laughed, but his only thought was yes.

  “Not what I expected. How long have you lived here?”

  “Ten years. My plants?”

  David stood and walked out to the other room. He noticed three plants with wilted leaves. “I think I’m too late. Oh, there’s a cactus by the window. It might be hanging on.”

  “I call that one Pablo. Prickly and dry and hard to beat down.” She laughed a full-hearted laugh, but David was silent. “David, is something wrong?”

  “Pablo left you a message a few minutes ago. He sounded”—he thought for a moment—“desperate.”

  “Is he all right? I’ve been trying to call him for days.”

  “He just wants you to call him.” He tried to swallow the lump that stuck in his throat.

  “You’ll be back in a few days?”

  “Yes. I fly to L.A. in the morning, then from there to Texas to Chicago, and end back up in Kansas City. This covering other shifts to get mine free is really crazy.” He tried to lighten the mood, but was finding it hard to do.

  “Well, Carissa and I are going to practice until our fingers bleed and then go to the mall and watch some chic flick that the ex-boyfriend wouldn’t see with her.”

  “Sophie, I love that you’re getting to know her.” Even as he said the words, he felt the warmth of tears stinging his eyes.

  “It’s going to make it harder to leave.”

  “Maybe you should think of sticking around. It’s obvious this isn’t much of a home to you.” He wasn’t going to hold his tongue about that. He was on the verge of telling her how disappointed he was in her. She’d made a beautiful home for them, so why had she neglected herself like this?

  “No, it’s not much of a home. I spend most of my time in Italy or on tour. Wherever Pablo needs me is home.”

  David bit down on his lip to keep in any further comments he could imagine from spewing from his mouth.

  “Why did you move to Seattle?”

  “It was far away from you,” she whispered.

  “Sure was.” His heart was breaking as he walked to the kitchen. “Thanks for letting me stay here.” He opened a cupboard and laughed when he saw the bag of Doritos. “How old are these chips?”

  Sophia snorted. “Don’t even bother. You should go down the block to Mr. Chan’s and get some carryout. Best Chinese ever.”

  Her voice was too brittle, as though she were crying.

  “Then I’d have to pass the inquisitor at the stoop.” He opened another cupboard to find one plate, one mug, and one bowl. He shook his head. She didn’t deserve to isolate herself like this.

  “You met Mrs. McKinley.”

  “Is that what that was?”

  “Sorry. She’s a bit nosey.”

  “I’d say.”

  “I should have warned you. She’s harmless really.”

  “I hope so because, after a quick inspection, it looks like I’ll be eating Mr. Chan’s or starving.”

  “David, I…thanks for stopping in to check on things.”

  “Thanks for the offer for the bed and free television.”

  “My pleasure. Goodbye, David.”

  “Sophie,” he called out to stop her from hanging up. “Give some thought to moving back. You can commute from Kansas City to Italy or L.A. when Pablo needs you just as well as you can from Seattle.” He leaned against the counter and tried to force his stomach to settle. “Not for me, maybe not even for you, but for Katie and Millie. Think about it.”

  “I’ll talk to Pablo,” she said after a long silence.

  “Good enough.” David balled his fist and shoved it into his pocket.

  He’d rather use his fist on Pablo.

  Sophia stood outside the study and closed her cell phone. There was some comfort in knowing where David was, and that alone was reason to agonize over her mixed feelings. Did she only miss him, or was it deeper? Did she still love him?

  Either way, she could never be the most important thing in his life again. There was Carissa.

  And, for the first time, she wasn’t jealous of Carissa. Carissa was a wonderful girl, and Sophia owed it to her to give her that consideration. David had done a wonderful job with her. He’d taken a scared little girl and given her stability and love, just as Sophia’s grandparents had done for her after she lost her parents.

  Again, her heart began to pound in her chest with the very thought of him. There was no reason David would ask her to move back to Kansas City if he didn’t intend to feel out his own emotions. She had to know what her future held for her. She had to call Pablo.

  “You look lost in thought,” Carissa said. “Is everything all right?”

  “Yes. I was just talking to your father.” She felt the tug in her cheeks and realized she was grinning

  “Are you two working things out between you?”

  “Well, we’re getting along just fine, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  Carissa shifted her weight and hooked her thumbs into the back pockets of her jeans.

  “Well, what if I was asking if the two of you were back together?”

  Sophia felt her stomach knot. “Which side do you support?”

  Carissa walked closer to Sophia. Before Sophia knew what was going on, Carissa wrapped her arm
s around her neck and hugged her.

  “Sophia, you make him happy. He loves you, and I think you’re still in love with him. ”

  “What makes you think that?”

  “I don’t think you ever fell out of love with him.” Carissa stepped back and moved to the stairs and sat down. She patted the step next to her. Sophia took the cue and sat by her. “I pushed you away. I know that. I meant to. I meant to do it again, but I fell in love with you, too.” She laughed. “Well, you know what I mean.”

  “Carissa, you don’t know me.”

  “Yes, I do.” She reached for Sophia’s hand and held it. “Before I found Dad, I knew what a bad person you were.”

  “Oh.”

  “That was according to Mandy,” she said, considering. “You took the man she loved and stole him away. I know that’s not true.”

  “I see.”

  “Then what my dad said was different. Yes, he was angry with you for a long time. And then he was sad and scared because he couldn’t find you. And trust me, he tried.” That confirmed what he’d said about it being hard to find people when they disappear, thought Sophia

  Mandy continued, “Finally, he had to refocus. He had to take care of me. He had to put me in school, find me doctors and friends, and include me in his family. He had to take care of Mandy so I would be safe and happy. But he never forgot you. He kept in close touch with Katie, and they worried about you together. I’m sure once you called Katie, his mind eased a bit, but he’s always missed you. That’s why I hated you for so long. I wanted him to myself, and I got that when you and Mandy left.”

  “You don’t call her Mom?”

  “She doesn’t deserve the title.”

  Sophia nodded and looked down at their clasped hands. It was comfortable. Carissa laid her head on Sophia’s shoulder.

  “A mother loves and respects her daughter. She confides in her, and they bond. Mandy never did that. She tossed me around from friend to friend. Whoever would take us in. She lied to me about my father. She told me once that he died. Then she said he left. When I was seven, I found out who he was and where he lived. Then she couldn’t stop me from finding him.” She blew out a breath.

  “But that image of the perfect family was still in my head, and I wanted that. I always thought Dad would marry someone, and I would get that. But he only ever loved you, so I only got him. I’ve always been happy with just him.” Carissa sniffed back tears. “I love my father so much. I respect him for all he’s done and given up to give me a perfect life. I want him to have a perfect life, too. I know that that perfect life includes you.”

  Carissa watched her hopefully. “How much longer will you be here?”

  “Just until Sunday morning after the party.”

  “Will you, for my sake if nothing else, see if there’s anything left between the two of you?”

  “Carissa, I can’t promise you anything.” She batted away the tears that stung her eyes. She wasn’t sure what her feelings for David were. Each emotion was pulling her in a different direction. His betrayal was pushing her back to Pablo. His sincerity was making her consider staying. His daughter was winning her over. What if, in the end, she was a disappointment to Carissa? That would forever affect any relationship she would have with David.

  “I just want you to be open to it and know that I’m very okay with it. In fact, I want this more than anything.” Carissa tugged Sophia’s hand. “Let’s go for a drive.”

  “I thought we were going to practice.”

  “It can wait. C’mon.”

  Though Sophia knew Carissa had been driving for at least a year, there was a knot in her belly when she thought about being her passenger. But then again, there was already a knot in her belly.

  “Where are we going?”

  Carissa pulled out of the driveway. “I just want to show you something.”

  Sophia watched as familiar landmarks passed by them, but her uneasiness flooded back when Carissa turned down Cherry Street and pulled up in front of the house she’d walked away from ten years earlier.

  “Oh, my God,” was all she could say as she stepped out of the car.

  “It’s for sale.” Carissa walked around the car and stood next to her. They looked at the house that had once been home to both of them.

  “I can’t do this.” Sophia opened the car door, desperate to climb back in.

  “Warrior!” Carissa’s word stopped her. “Don’t run away again. I know it’s in you to hide, but no more running.”

  Anger started to boil in her stomach, and the knot pulled tighter. How could she make the girl understand that she couldn’t go back? She didn’t know how to go back. She was afraid to go back and be happy again.

  Then, like a gust of wind in her face, she realized she’d forgotten how to be happy. She’d been happy until her parents had been killed, and then with David, she was truly happy again. But when she’d seen his eyes when he looked at Carissa all those years ago, she knew he was gone. At least she’d assumed as much.

  Tears burned her eyes. She squeezed them shut and took a deep breath. Her eyes shot open when she heard Carissa’s voice.

  “Hi, are you the real estate agent for this house?” she asked the woman who had just locked the front door and put the key back in the lock box on the doorknob.

  “Yes, Sally Foster.”

  Sally walked down the three small steps and toward them.

  “Carissa Kendal,” she introduced herself and held her hand out to meet Sally’s. “This is Sophia Burkhalter.”

  “Sophia Burkhalter, the cellist?” Sally’s eyes opened wide when Sophia nodded and extended her hand. “It’s an honor to meet you. My husband is from Italy, and Pablo DiAngelo is one of his favorite hometown people.”

  “He’d be honored.”

  “Were you looking at the house?”

  “We’d love to see it.” Carissa’s enthusiastic reply had Sophia opening her mouth to contradict. “Can we make an appointment with you?”

  “Actually my other clients who are interested in the house just left, but I could take you in if you’d like. It’s vacant and available immediately.”

  Sophia clenched her teeth, but Carissa smiled and laced her arm through Sophia’s.

  “We’d really appreciate that.” Carissa drew Sophia along as Sally started back up the walk.

  The exterior was just as Sophia had remembered it. Each house, though similar to the others on the street, had its own personality. It might have been a tree or a plant, but in Sophia’s eyes, they’d always looked different. The brick porch still held its character, and the large oak door was the same.

  Sophia held her breath as Sally unlocked the door and stepped inside.

  “You can do this,” Carissa said as she pulled her through the door.

  Standing in the entryway, Sophia felt at home for the first time in ten years. The tears that had been burning her eyes earlier were finally falling, and she silently cursed the Warrior in her for not wearing her scarf to wipe them before someone saw them.

  Carissa noticed the tears. “Are you okay?” she whispered.

  Sophia could only nod.

  The hardwood floor was still in good shape. She smiled when she thought of the hours of sanding and staining that she’d put into that floor. It was a blessing to see it looking so nice.

  “The carpets need to be replaced in the bedrooms, but that’s something most people want to do anyway.” Sally started through the house.

  The mantel and the fireplace looked the same, but the window coverings were different. Sophia thought she actually liked them better than the ones she had chosen so many years earlier.

  “The kitchen cabinets have been updated as well as the appliances.” Sally opened the back door, and the three of them stood on the small cement porch. “The previous owners added a retractable awning, which is wonderful for outdoor entertaining. They also ran the gas to the outside for a grill hookup.”

  Back in the house, Sophia poked her head into
the guest bathroom and smiled when she saw her small rosebud wallpaper still hanging. It had been the last thing she’d changed in the house before she’d left.

  “Why don’t we take a look around the upstairs,” Sally said as she started up the staircase that Sophia already knew would lead to the three bedrooms above them.

  She swallowed hard. She wasn’t sure she wanted to see where she and David had made love so many times and where they’d planned their life.

  Taking a deep breath of courage, she walked up the stairs behind Carissa.

  “Oh, isn’t that sweet?” Carissa placed her hand on her chest as she walked into the bedroom at the top of the stairs.

  Sophia followed and then wished she hadn’t. It was a nursery for a baby girl. The walls were pink with painted murals of fairy tales. The tears were falling again.

  “Please excuse me.” Sophia backed into the hallway and to the bathroom across the hall. She shut the door and stood looking into the mirror. She’d looked into that mirror so many times before, only that face had been younger and full of hope. The face she wore now was full of worry and self-pity.

  When she emerged, she could hear Carissa and Sally downstairs again. “Take your time,” Sally called up.

  Disgusted with herself for acting so childishly, Sophia took a deep breath and walked down the hall to the master bedroom where she’d slept and woke in David’s arms. This room, too, was the same as it was ten years earlier. Relief washed over her.

  “What do you think?” Carissa was in the doorway.

  “This was quite a shock to the system. It wasn’t what I had in mind for today.”

  “If you and dad worked things out, you’d need a place to live.”

  “I have a place to live. I live in Seattle,” she reminded her.

  Carissa turned her lips up into a crooked grin that Sophia had seen many times on her father’s face. “And does Seattle feel like home?”

  Again, her stomach tightened. Nowhere had felt like home—until she’d crossed the threshold of the house with Carissa.