Scalding Hot Chocolate

by Jaliza A. Burwell

  I groaned. “Did you have to remind me? I’ve been doing so well not thinking about it.”

  “This is serious, Madison.” I winced at my full name. He meant business. “You’ll want to be prepared. Nothing will be resolved on Wednesday. It’ll be a meeting as a weak attempt at resolving this peacefully and since I know you won’t give the twins up, it’s going to go to court. This is going to get messy. Too many big players for this to be handled simply.”

  “Okay. Okay. I’ll be prepared. I’ll turn my heart to steel and perfect my resting bitch face. I’ll be ready.”

  Koen’s tone softened as he said, “We got this, Maddie. I don’t see anything that will make you questionable as a guardian. You are doing everything right, and we can prove that. You won’t lose them.”

  Sighing, I revealed a piece of my deep dark fears. “But like you said, there are too many big players in this. That means it isn’t always that simple. And my dad knows a lot of people in high positions.”

  “Lucky for you, I’m good at fighting back against that kind of corruption. I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow at one.”

  “And don’t be late,” I added on.

  He chuckled. “I didn’t say that.”

  “But it was there in your tone. I felt like it needed to be added on.”

  “I know enough about you to know you won’t be late. You’re a responsible person.”

  We hung up, and I couldn’t stop wondering what tomorrow was going to bring.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life and someone is determined to make sure the only food I can find is in a dumpster. I’m going to live in rags.” I poured my fears out to Dr. Adam, and he took it with the grace of an older gentleman used to random stuff flying out of my mouth in a whirlwind of anxiety.

  “Okay,” he said slowly. “Let’s break that down into more details, yes? Let’s start with the first one. What makes you think you’re going to be alone for the rest of your life?”

  I sighed and leaned back in my little spot on his couch.

  “I have a crush on a teacher,” I said. “My twins’ teacher to be specific. It’s doomed before it even starts.”

  Dr. Adam tilted his head to the side. “Didn’t you break up with Felix last week?”

  “I did.”

  “Are you already over him?”

  “Sure.”

  “Maddie.”

  I sighed and shrugged. “I most likely haven’t dealt with those emotions. I don’t even know how. He was the first real relationship I’d ever been in and we dated for three years. I know I should hurt. I just don’t. Not right now. Do I miss having someone next to me in bed? Yes. Do I miss sex? Yes. Even before the break-up, we hadn’t had sex because of the twins. We spent more time arguing when we were together rather than locking lips.”

  Dr. Adam raised an eyebrow as his lip twitched. I smoothed out my dress before continuing.

  “We both know I went into that relationship expecting it to end at any moment. And it did.”

  “Three years later it did. That’s a long-term relationship. Did you guys talk about marriage at some point?”

  I shook my head. “And I think that’s why it was easier. We were serious, I guess, but it felt casual at the same time. We never talked about the hard stuff. We just had fun. I miss him, but he gave me an ultimatum. The twins or him. I’ll choose the twins every single time.”

  “Okay.” He wrote down some notes in that fancy pad of his, and I leaned forward enough to see the messy sprawl but not make out any individual words. I was still ninety percent sure that one word was denial. I snorted. I was good at denial.

  “Stop trying to read my notes,” he said, humor lacing his voice.

  “Stop saying I’m in denial,” I volleyed back.

  “I didn’t.”

  “Liar.”

  He sighed, turning the notepad so I could see the words. “Denial isn’t mentioned in there at all.”

  I scanned the words. He was right. All he did was write down notes on what I had said, no observations included. The moment I walked out the door, he would probably go back through in add it in.

  I leaned back and crossed my arms. “Okay, you’re right. But it doesn’t mean you won’t add it in later.”

  “Why do you think I’m going to put denial down in my notes?”

  “Because you think I haven’t dealt with my emotions concerning Felix.”

  “Have you?”

  “Back to the teacher,” I said. “I’m crushing on him hard.”

  Dr. Adam blinked for a moment before nodding. “Want to tell me more?”

  “Isn’t that why I mentioned it?” I said and then continued. “He’s the twins’ teacher. He’s hot, smart, and he cares. He’s crazy observant too. He knew something was up the moment he saw me last week and I had no choice but to tell him I needed a lawyer. I never even said anything, he even turned me around so I could hide how upset I was. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure there is no gentleman like that left on earth.”

  “Can we pause for a moment,” he said.

  I nodded and snapped my mouth closed.

  “Lawyer?”

  “Oh, right. The parentals are trying to steal the twins. But I now have a kickass lawyer with the best lawyer name in Mass, and he’s going to kick that other douchenozzle’s butt. That’s part of why I’ll most likely end up fighting street cats for dumpster cuisine. Can I continue now?” I asked.

  “Fine, but we will come back to that.” He wrote down more words, most likely mentioning that I was showing signs of being neurotic. Once finished, he focused on me and sighed. “Which word now?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said and pretended to look out the window.

  “Which word do you think I wrote down?”

  “Neurotic,” I admitted. “Can I finish my story now?”

  “Of course.”

  “Good. So, the teacher. Did you know he didn’t blink an eye about my outfit? I’ve been on a couple of blind dates before Felix, and the normal reaction when they see me is usually to balk. Some of them were even embarrassed to be seen with me.” I snorted. “I didn’t lie on my online profile. I like tulle skirts. I like bright colors. I even posted pictures, and yet still, they were surprised. But not Dayton.” I grinned big. “He thinks I’m cute. He is so interested in me.” My grin slipped into a frown. “Or he’s broken.”

  I went on for the rest of the session, filling it up with talk about the three men I mentioned. Yeah, I went there. I talked about all three of them. I couldn’t help it. Once I started, I couldn’t stop, and didn’t want to. Dr. Adam took it like a champ, listening intently, taking notes, writing down words like promiscuous and erratic, even if he wouldn’t admit to writing them down. He seemed surprised when I talked about Bryce, though I hadn’t had a lot of interaction with him yet. I expected judgment to ooze from Dr. Adam, but I knew I liked him for a reason. He was a vault, keeping all his judgments to himself. If he even had them. Not much fazed Dr. Adam.

  Things got serious when I filled him in on everything that had happened since our last session, the lawyers, the hacker, losing clients, all of it. It was getting harder to talk to him about it because it meant voicing my fears. Once a fear was voiced, it was reality. And I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to think about a day without the twins, about Olivia rubbing her victory in my face. It’d be so easy to push it all away and forget that it was even a problem.

  But I couldn’t do that. After this, I had to go meet with Olivia and her lawyer. We had to talk and pretend to try to find an agreement. The longer I talked to Dr. Adam about the fears, the harder it became to control my emotions. Time was ticking away, and soon, I’d be at the battlefront.

  “Thanks,” I said once our session was over.

  Dr. Adam frowned. “I’m sorry that you’re going through this, but it sounds like you’re handling it very well. Remember, if you need an emergency sess
ion, I’m always available. Just call and we’ll fit you in. You aren’t alone in this, Maddie.”

  I swallowed around the lump in my throat as he opened his office door for me. “Thank you,” I said. Well, it came out more like a croak.

  He rested his hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze, before going back into his office.

  “Maddie? Is everything okay?”

  I jumped at Bryce’s voice and turned to see him staring at me with concern.

  I nodded. His frown deepened.

  “Maddie?”

  I nodded harder again.

  He came closer and reached for me.

  The moment he touched my arm, I blurted, “Everything is falling apart right now.” It came out almost like a sob. I cleared my throat and tried talking again. “Just a lot going on.”

  Bryce looked around, noting the emptiness of the office with the exception of the secretary. “There’s a little coffee shop down the road, come on.”

  “No, I need to get going.”

  “Do you have a meeting coming up? How long do you have?”

  “In two hours.”

  “Then there’s time,” he said and guided me out the door. The weather was nice, the sun finally shining like the badass star that it was. It heated my skin as we walked down the sidewalk.

  Bryce didn’t say anything, even as we went inside and got into the short line.

  He got a plain coffee, yuck. And I ordered a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. I deserved it, darn it. Before I could even attempt to pay, Bryce had the bill covered, ignoring my small glare.

  Once we got our drinks, he led me over to a set of sofa chairs with a small table between them. He motioned to the one by the window and took the one next to me.

  Still, he didn’t say anything. He sipped on his drink and went between staring out the window and staring at me.

  I wasn’t in a rush to say anything either, a rare occurrence, and stared out the window too. My thoughts were consumed with the meeting that was getting closer and closer.

  “Maddie, you don’t need to tell me anything. You never have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I only want you to understand that I’m here for you, even if it’s just to get a cup of coffee.”

  “Thank you.” I sipped my hot chocolate. It wasn’t as good as Flour’s, but it was still pretty darn tasty. I couldn’t stop thinking about the twins and the fear that came with it. “I was there when they were born,” I said.

  “The twins?”

  I nodded. “They weren’t even two pounds, born at twenty-five weeks. It was not an easy delivery for Mandy. Long, stressful labor, babies in distress. I stayed by her side the whole time. I got to hold Lawson first, Mandy held Lee.” I lifted my hands, staring down at them, remembering how Lawson had fit in my hands. He was so small. “They couldn’t even swallow properly, they were so little. I stayed with them the entire time they were in the hospital, and after with Mandy those first few weeks to help her.” The reflection of the window told me all I needed to know. My expression was of someone pleading for something, anything, a small break from this rollercoaster. “I haven’t left their sides since. And now suddenly, I have these two people trying to take them away from me. They don’t understand those twins, they don’t know what they need. They won’t know that Lawson likes his sandwiches cut diagonally, and Lee likes it in four squares. They won’t know that Lee loves being read to, but he also loves climbing around on everything he can find. They won’t understand why Lawson prefers to put the bubbles in himself for baths or that he only likes the temperature of his bath water lukewarm.”

  My heart felt like it was skipping beats. Breaths became impossible to draw in. My lungs didn’t want to work right. The idea of going to that meeting and facing my stepmother was sending me into a tailspin.

  Bryce was kneeling in front of me, the worry and concern he felt for me practically oozing out of him. His hand engulfed mine. “Maddie, they are very much your children. No court, no person, no lawyer can tell you otherwise. The law works. It does. They’ll take one look at you, another look at that woman, and they’ll know right away who the true mother is. And they’ll never be able to take that away from you.”

  I squeezed his hand and nodded furiously, desperately trying to hold on to his words and make them true. I was the mother here. Not that frigid stepmonster.

  “When you walk into that meeting today, don’t falter. Face her head on, tell her how it is. Don’t give in to her.”

  “Never! She doesn’t get to touch them.”

  He nodded as he moved back to his seat. “Then tell her that. She wasn’t much of a mother from the sound of it, and from what I’m able to piece together, not much of a grandmother either.”

  Snorting, I said, “She never held them. Not once. Mandy reached out to them, but they brushed her off. That woman wanted nothing to do with them, and my father was always one to just go along with whatever she wanted and said. Spineless mother-trucker.”

  I grumbled some more before taking a drink and falling back into silence. Time passed like that. Bryce didn’t make me feel like I needed to fill the air with chatter. He let me get lost in my thoughts. I liked that. Sometimes, listening to myself talk could be exhausting. Even my mouth needed a break, and after my session with Dr. Adam and then baring part of my heart to Bryce, I was okay with remaining silent.

  The alarm on my phone went off, warning me that I needed to get moving. “I need to go,” I said in a low voice.

  “You’ll do great and Koen is great at his job. He’s by your side too.”

  My nod was jerky as I got to my feet and collected everything. “Bye,” I said and slipped out the door, glancing back briefly to see him staring after me. He flashed a supportive smile that almost succeeded in comforting me.

  Almost.

  Because anything dealing with the twins needed more than a smile. A hug might work. If whoever cared enough to give me a hug squeezed real tight, that would definitely work.

  A kiss too.

  But I didn’t have anyone in my life to give me that kind of support.

  My heart ached for a million different reasons as I headed to the meeting of doom. The whole drive there, I had to remind myself to function, to explain to my ribs why they needed to expand so my lungs could breathe, to remind my eyes to blink. To make sure I was safely on the road, even though it felt like I was driving toward a cliff.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Denise’s smile was strained when I walked into Koen’s law office. I wasn’t surprised. It was the same smile I saw a million times from a million different people, all for one reason. They’d had the unfortunate experience of meeting Olivia. The stepmonster always left a bad taste in anyone’s mouth.

  “Maddie, a pleasure seeing you again.”

  I smiled at the receptionist. “I wish it were really under pleasant circumstances.”

  “Well.” She waved her hand and tried to dismiss the strain that I felt through the small office.

  Chuckling, I gave her a tense smile. “Don’t worry, I understand. You don’t need to sugar coat anything. I imagine the moment that woman stepped into the office, she’s been nothing but a fire breathing dragon.”

  “I would never say anything like that,” she said, but the agreement in her expression told me everything I needed to know. “Dear, they’re waiting for you. Let me show you to the room.”

  “Oh no, point me in the right direction and I’m sure I can find it.”

  Her expression hardened. “I’d rather show you.” The bitterness surprised me. She blinked, and the intense emotions were gone just as quickly as they appeared. She cleared her throat. “I apologize. That woman has put me on edge.” She shook her head. “I don’t need to go poking around to know what is going on.”

  She stood up, grabbed some waters from a mini fridge hidden under her desk, then came around. She was taller than I expected, with a soft thin frame.

  Her short heels clacked against the wood flooring a
s she led the way down a short hallway. There was a row of rooms, but she stopped at the first on our right, opening the door.

  “Miss Daniels is here,” she said, disappearing inside.

  I took in a deep breath, released it slowly, and entered the room. With the exception of the secretary, there were four others. Koen sat on one side of the table with a free spot next to him. I beelined for the empty chair, claiming it as my own.

  Directly across from me was Olivia. I went from seeing her maybe once a year, to twice within a week. Next to her was the man who screamed fancy lawyer, all the way down to the buttons on his cuffs. So he was what a William Taylor looked like. Brown hair styled short, clean-shaven face, watchful dark eyes. At the end of the table sat another man who seemed like he was used to having authority. I didn’t know what to make of him.

  “Madison, so glad you could finally join us,” Olivia said in a cold voice.

  The secretary gave her and her lawyer the small bottles of water. When she placed one in front of me, she flashed me a kind smile that eased my anxiety. She barely knew me, and she still supported me over the stepmonster. That meant a lot.

  Her smile gave me enough confidence to reply back to Olivia instead of pretending to ignore her remark. “I’m early, so you don’t need to pretend I’m an embarrassment for being late.”

  Olivia’s expression grew hard. I expected some kind of rebuke to come out of her viper mouth. Instead, she pressed her red lips together and narrowed her eyes. She always had a way of making me feel small and insignificant. She did that now.

  “Miss Daniels, my name is John Tyson,” the man at the end said, breaking some of the tension. “I’ll be overseeing this meeting as a neutral party. You have already talked with Mr. William Taylor.” He motioned to the very lawyery lawyer. “He is Mrs. Hansen’s lawyer. I want to make sure you are aware of the reason why we are here.”

  “Yes, I’m aware. She wishes to kidnap the twins. I won’t let her.”

  “Stop being dramatic, Madison. I simply want to provide them with a stable home. I’m their grandmother, it is well within my right to do so.”