The Black Rider

by J B Trepagnier

  “You expect me to ask the soldiers here to fend off Rage Heads carrying live chickens? Seriously, Leif? Do you know how mean chickens are? They are like velociraptors who are pissed off they got the short end of evolution. We try to run with a squawking mini dinosaur, and they will peck us until we bleed and draw every zombie in the area to us!” Aeron growled.

  “You might not have to find chickens. Go to the lab and see where they are on supplies. You might not even have to go scouting. They are supposed to be making the antibiotics for the vaccine too, but they need supplies for that too. Find out what they need. You might not have to go out. You’re talking out your ass if you’re trying to say you wouldn’t love the challenge of fighting off Rage Heads holding chickens.”

  “Chickens are straight-up evil,” Aeron grumbled.

  So, the big, bad Horseman of Death had this thing with chickens. Interesting. I was dying to know what a chicken had ever done to Aeron because he seemed to really enjoy driving that fucking horse straight into danger. What could a cute little chicken do to him; he stood there and yelled free meal to a horde of Rage Heads, but he didn’t want to touch a chicken?

  Aeron just shrugged and put his mop away.

  “Want to come to the lab with me, Ariel?”

  He hadn’t asked me to go anywhere with him this entire time. If he was asking now, then he probably needed it. Maybe he wanted me to protect him from the chickens. Perhaps one of the previous Antichrists did something horrible with chickens, and I just didn’t know. Either way, I had his back against the chickens of the world.

  “Leif, are you good here?”

  “Yeah, I will be working on how to synthesize both serums, but I think we should all celebrate when you get back. Dinner and a movie again?”

  “It’s a date,” I said, taking Aeron’s arm. “So, tell me about your thing with chickens.”

  Chapter 29

  C

  an I say how much I enjoyed giving the Horseman of Death a hard time? It was payback for some stunts he pulled on the way to Mexico, and I was dying to know what went down between him and one or several chickens.

  “I’m not scared of chickens. I just don’t like them.”

  “But why? They are kind of cute.”

  “They are vicious monsters who would eat us all alive if they could. Be thankful the Rage Mutation didn’t affect animals because if chickens caught it, we’d all be dead.”

  “You went through my thongs, so you owe me a chicken story.”

  Aeron actually blushed. “I don’t want you to know. It involved another woman.”

  “I’m not judging. I thought you all had girlfriends before me or had been married before. Leif explained things to me. I know you took human lovers before, but I wouldn’t have gotten upset if you had been married before either.”

  “You aren’t going to drop this, are you?”

  “Call it professional curiosity.”

  Aeron sighed as we strolled through San Quintin, holding hands to make our way to the other lab.

  “Fine. It was a long time ago. This is probably how all those stories started that you don’t want to fuck with the farmer’s daughter. It was a long time ago. It may have been the Black Plague that time. I met her in the market, buying things for Leif. She was hitting on me pretty hard. I invited her back to our flat, but she told me it turned her on to have sex in barns and to meet her at her farm.

  “It was going great. I was naked, and she was naked, screaming my name. Well, her screams woke her father. He comes barging in the barn with a pitchfork and a chicken. I jumped up, and I’m not about to kill a man for getting offended I had sex with his daughter.

  “I tried to talk him down, but he threw the chicken at my junk. He was pissed, the chicken was pissed, and my poor testicles got mauled. I grabbed my trousers and hauled ass out of there before he could grab more chickens. You don’t have balls, so you don’t know how much it hurts when they get hit, but getting attacked there by a chicken is way worse than taking a boot to the nuts. I swear, every chicken I’ve met since then stares at my junk like they want to peck my balls apart.”

  “Aren’t chickens really stupid?”

  “That’s just what they want you to think.”

  “I’ll protect your balls from the evil chickens, Aeron. I’m quite fond of them.”

  Aeron perked right up and forgot all about chickens attacking his testicles.

  “We can celebrate what Leif did in the lab with more than just dinner and movies.”

  I just winked at him.

  “I was planning on it. How many labs are in San Quintin, anyway?”

  “Leif has his private lab, and then there’s a big medical facility Leif funded that develops new vaccines and groundbreaking research. Not all diseases are the Antichrist, so Leif isn’t called to come up with a cure. He set up a bigger lab to help humans when he can’t. He’s got the best scientists from all over the world there. They’ve come up with new antibiotics and vaccines for all kinds of new diseases that cropped up. They were the ones that developed the vaccine for that virus that nearly shut the world down, and all the conspiracy theory nuts came out to play.”

  “No, shit?”

  “Yeah. They are pretty self-sustaining. They’ve got an entire farm attached. They have been working on finding a cure for the Rage Mutation too, but they’ve also been sharing excess from their farm with the people. I’m hoping that means we don’t have to go find chickens.”

  “The fact that everyone kept all this up and running with everything going on is pretty amazing. It doesn’t look like bombs hit San Quintin at all.”

  “You can thank Dice and his toys for that. He sent a lot of the bombs that were dropped off course, so they didn’t kill people. It saved a lot of lives. I think your father knew that it would happen. He knew people would survive, even if countries tried to bomb each other to oblivion. That’s why he had you in that secret lab.”

  “I kind of want to meet Dice, but I’m still not fucking him in the Oval Office.”

  Aeron just laughed.

  “You might change your mind. I think Dice is your kind of crazy.”

  “No way. I swore off dating crazy after some guy showed up after one date with a poorly tattooed portrait of me on his ass and swore we were soulmates.”

  “Be honest. You dumped him because he got a shitty tattoo.”

  “It looked like he had a six-year-old draw me in permanent marker on his ass. I offered to cover it up when I kicked him out of my apartment.”

  “Dice doesn’t have enough free space on his body to tattoo even your name anywhere. He has more tattoos than Leif and I combined. Asher is the only one of us without tattoos. I will bet you a full body massage you give him his first tattoo.”

  “I’m not taking that bet because I won’t try to win it. If Asher doesn’t have tattoos, it’s because he doesn’t want any. I won’t force him to get something permanent on his body just to win a bet. I didn’t always tattoo everyone who came into my shop. I talked many people out of them, too, even if it lost me money.”

  “The lab is just up there. I’ll vouch for you.”

  This wasn’t just any lab. Armed guards were swarming the place. I could see a massive greenhouse in the back and an entire variety of farm animals in pens. And yes, there were a lot of chickens. It looked like they were pasture-raised chickens, but they had shelter.

  The soldiers recognized Aeron, but they pointed their guns at me. Half my hair was still pink, so I kind of stood out in San Quintin. Aeron held up his hand.

  “She’s with me. She was helping Leif. Leif had success, and now we just need to make sure we need not find supplies for mass production.”

  “We’re pretty well stocked. We haven’t had to go on a supply run in a few weeks. Valentina is in her lab, but she’s in a foul mood. Her last batch of trying to eradicate the Rage Mutation was a disaster. She’ll be a lot nicer if you bring her pleasant news. Don’t forget your suits, or she’ll shoot you.” />
  Aeron led me through the front doors.

  “He’s not kidding about the suits. Valentina takes germs in her lab very seriously. She might not shoot you, but she punched me in the face once.”

  He said that so casually like he didn’t mind Valentina breaking his face, but he was paranoid about chickens. Angels were so weird. Then again, so was I. That’s probably why we were dating.

  I was reminded of my fear of compact spaces when I pulled that suit on and put that helmet on. I started hyperventilating. Aeron grabbed me and squeezed me.

  “Just breathe and make it to the lab. I’ll take it from there.”

  I gripped his hand through the material of the suit and walked next to him on shaky legs. Valentina’s lab was different from Leif’s. There were fewer computers and surveillance equipment. Valentina herself was short and curvy. Aeron towered over her, and even I was a lot taller than her. Still, based on the look on her face, I didn’t want to piss her off because she was just the right height to sucker punch me in the vagina.

  “What is it, Aeron?” she snapped.

  “I have good news, and I need a favor.”

  “I owe you shit. I still haven’t forgotten you came in here without a mask and sneezed on my samples.”

  Well, no wonder she punched him.

  “Leif has a vaccine and a serum that will kill all the Rage Heads. He’s synthesizing it now so he can get you the formula. My friend here was instrumental in all of that, and she has horrible claustrophobia. Would it be okay if she removed her mask?”

  Valentina narrowed her eyes at me.

  “Only because I’ve incinerated my samples for today, and there’s nothing to contaminate. Very well.”

  I collapsed on the nearest stool and yanked my helmet off. The air felt cool on my face, and it smelled like disinfectant in here. It took a few minutes, but I could finally breathe again.

  “This delicate flower managed to figure out how to end this?”

  “I just helped. Leif is the one you want to thank. He wants to know how stocked up you are on eggs and antibiotics that aren’t penicillin. Is it enough for a vaccine for the entire world?”

  Valentina just grinned.

  “We don’t have to. We have satellite labs all over the world. They destroyed some of them, but a lot of them are still up and running. They just need the formula. How close is he?”

  “We just figured out the vaccine and kill serum earlier this morning, and I swear to god, if you lady scientist me, I’ll punch you in the face.”

  Valentina cocked an eyebrow at me.

  “I’m a lady scientist. What the fuck are you talking about.”

  “One man at the border said I didn’t look like a lady scientist. I’m not a scientist. My blood is important to end this. Leif will get you the formula when he has it figured out.”

  Valentina looked amused.

  “What is a lady scientist supposed to look like?”

  I threw up my hands.

  “Exactly!”

  Valentina winked at me. She lifted her shirt and showed me where her belly button was pierced, and a butterfly was peeking out the waistband of her scrubs.

  “Fuck him,” she said. “Get your ass back to the lab and help him. I need that formula.”

  No pressure. I was only there to provide blood, moral support, and to read through emails. Aeron grabbed my hand.

  “Thanks, Valentina. Leif will send it over when he has it.”

  Aeron pulled me out of the lab, and I felt so much better when I was out of that confining suit. We strolled back through town, holding hands. I’d been spending all my time in the lab, I hadn’t really noticed how beautiful it was here—especially seeing children running and playing in the street. Some of them were on bikes, and some were playing street games, but it was nice to see them alive and playing.

  Speaking of which, I was told I could get a birth control implant here because a factory survived. If I would continue getting laid by angels, I should probably get that done. I couldn’t bash my father’s brains in with a baby in my belly. And who knew what kind of baby I would have if I were a little more angel than the average Nephilim and Aeron and Leif were full angel? I pictured that scene in the last Twilight book, but with a little baby angel’s wings bursting out my stomach like those face-huggers in those Alien movies.

  Yeah, before we went all yay, we can kill zombies, I needed to get some birth control.

  Chapter 30

  L

  eif was right where I left him—huddled over a microscope and muttering to his samples. At least I always knew where to find Leif. Aeron was still going off and killing things. Would be offended if I stuck a GPS tracker on him? It’s not like I could put some stalker app on a cell phone since those didn’t exist anymore. I’d seen a lot of satellite phones, but no one had offered me one, and apparently, angels had some built-in cellular connection where they could talk over distances with their minds. It was a little unfair I got stuck foretelling doom and gloom and didn’t even get the angel pockets.

  Leif didn’t hear us come in. He jumped and nearly ruined his desk when I walked up behind him to wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his neck.

  “Your stealth skills are lacking, Pestilence. What if I came here to kill you?”

  “You would have been shot before you even got close, and I would have been alerted the combination on the keypad was entered wrong if you managed to get past all the armed guards.”

  “Leif doesn’t enjoy killing things. He prefers other people do that for him while he nerds out over bacteria,” Aeron said.

  I swatted at Aeron.

  “Be nice. Leif, how do I get that birth control you were telling me about?”

  Leif broke into this enormous grin.

  “Big plans for our celebration?”

  “I have ideas that will probably end up killing me.”

  Aeron perked right the fuck up.

  “Kinky. I’m down.”

  “I have some of them here. I don’t just do research down here. As I said, there’s a lot of superstition around this lab. Now that I’m here, some people come to see me for minor scrapes and the common cold. Some women think it’s lucky to have me be the one address their birth control concerns. I’ve delivered a few babies too.”

  “Well, let’s get that implant in my arm, so some angel baby doesn’t burst its way out my stomach.”

  Aeron and Leif found that hilarious. Leif hopped off his stool and led me to a part of his lab I hadn’t been in before. There was an entire exam room back here I’d never seen before.

  “You’re left-handed, so lie on the table with your right arm on the slab.”

  I did exactly what he asked. I could remember doing this before, way before I was kidnapped. I had a new one put in right before I would disappear to Mexico because I anticipated a lot of passionate sex with my new online boyfriends.

  “I might still have one in my arm. I had one put in before I was taken.”

  Leif started poking my arm.

  “It’s definitely not there now. Doctor X might have had it removed, so you had nothing in your blood since he was trying to tamper with it. No worries. I’ve got you.”

  Leif was quick and gentle. He numbed my arm and had the implant in as painlessly as possible. He wrapped my arm and helped me off the table.

  “When was your last period?”

  “I have no idea. I haven’t gotten it since I woke up from that coma.”

  “Then you need to wait seven days for it to be effective. I’m sure your period will come back once you’ve gained weight.”

  “Fuck that. Not dealing with that shit in the middle of all this is a bonus.”

  “Well, I’ve got condoms so we won’t make any Nephilim babies. I told you angels are created, Ariel. Nothing will burst out your stomach,” Leif said.

  “I still don’t want to squirt a Nephilim out my vagina with the way things are in the world right now.”

  “Come on. No one needs to
be talking about babies until it’s safe to make them. I believe we are celebrating a victory. Let’s get out of this lab,” Aeron said.

  “How are we going to celebrate?” I asked.

  “I pulled some strings,” Leif said.

  “Care to elaborate?”

  “And spoil the surprise? No way. Let’s get out of here.”

  We left the lab and started walking through the streets. I could hear music up the road, and that seemed to be where we were headed. Music was such a beautiful thing. I took it for granted before. I always assumed I’d have my pick of songs to make the perfect playlist for my mood.

  How wrong I was. This mutation didn’t discriminate by skill. You only avoided it if you shared my blood type, didn’t drink the water, or didn’t get bitten. A lot of honorable people died or turned into Rage Heads for this plot. I honestly didn’t think I’d get the chance to hear live music again, and I could remember going to concerts all the time with Pokey.

  I gravitated towards the music. I didn’t know if the music was the strings Leif pulled, but I desperately needed to get closer to it and experience it. Leif and Aeron were glued to my side like even if this weren’t planned, they would follow me no matter what.

  The closer I got to the music, the more people I saw on the streets. I finally realized I was walking into a massive street party. There were booths set up with people bartering food and a live band on the road.

  Leif kissed my hand.

  “No one knows how to throw a party better than Mexico. Maria spread the word we had success in the lab, and a vaccine was coming. She told everyone we were getting close to ending this. So, everyone threw a street party. We don’t get to celebrate much anymore. We haven’t had a party in San Quintin since the first Rage Mutation reports started hitting the news. It’s high time we had something to celebrate,” Leif said.