True North

by Kelly Collins

  His pace slows as our eyes connect. It feels like he’s looking into my soul. He utters three words before he spills himself deep inside of me. He collapses on top of me, breathless and sweaty. I stroke his back as I think of those three words, “We belong together.”

  My heart skips a beat at his words. As much as I want to say them in return, I can’t. To verbalize what’s in my heart is too risky. Will he continue to want me? And if he doesn’t, will I survive?

  After lying together for a while enjoying the quiet moment, we reluctantly leave the bed. We shower, then race around the room, trying to get ready to leave. While I brush my hair and put on a dab of makeup, he gets the little man ready for our visit.

  We swing by the diner to pick up the egg sandwiches Zane has ordered. I run in to get them, and we are on our way.

  Miraculously, we’re only ten minutes late. He unhooks the car seat while I pick up breakfast, the baby bag, and our gift to his mother.

  We make it through the lobby fast. The women part like a scattered flock before a lion as soon as we tell them we’re late.

  Today, Elaine is waiting with the door open. She smiles broadly as we approach. She reaches for me first and hugs me with her shaking body.

  Zane smiles at me. Actually, he’s grinning from ear to ear. I imagine it’s a good morning for him. Most men would love to start their morning off with sex, followed by food. But with Zane, there is also the genuine happiness to see his mom.

  “What are you grinning at?” I walk past him and into the apartment. I drop Aaron’s bag by the sofa and bring the food to the table. I look over my shoulder and see mother and son ogling the baby.

  I remember hearing someone once tell me the best way to know how a man will treat you is to watch him with his mother. The love he has for his mother is evident in everything he does. He’s a keeper.

  Elaine loves the sling. While she sits feeding the baby, Zane takes me for a walk around the complex. I think it was more for his mom than for us. Having us sit and watch her with the baby must be what it feels like to have supervised visits with your child.

  “Today is probably the best day of my life,” he says as he pushes me gently against the wall. I am trapped between the siding and his body. “It’s more than the sex. You need to understand that.” His eyes capture mine, and I see the sincerity of which he speaks. “I know this is crazy; it shouldn’t be possible, but I love you. You trusted me last night. You stayed and let me take care of you. I need that from my partner. You complete me, Alexa.” He sees everything I am, and everything I will be, and he isn’t running.

  “I do need you, and I feel you complete me, too. I didn’t realize how much I needed to be nurtured and cared for until last night. I don’t want to love you, but I do. I don’t want to need you, but I can’t help myself. I feel your love, and I never want to know what it’s like to live without it.” Those are the most honest words I’ve told anyone in a long time. It’s scary to expose your heart, but he makes it easy.

  “I’m happy to hear it. Fate brought us together for whatever reason, and I’m not going to question it.” We stare at each other in silence before he breaks the spell. “Do you think it’s time to rescue our boy?” Our boy. Wow. Loving that. His eyes travel down to my lips before he begins a sweet invasion of my mouth. I return his kiss with equal zeal. We reluctantly pull away from each other.

  “It’s probably time to rescue your mother,” I say as I pull my fingers to my lips. Every kiss with him leaves me wanting more. We walk back to her home, hand in hand.

  Friday and Saturday are busy at the bar. We fall into bed exhausted each night. By closing time Sunday, all we want is delivery pizza, the couch, and each other.

  The baby is fast asleep on my chest, and it feels so right. When I dream of a family, this is my vision.

  “Don’t forget we have a date tomorrow night.” His hand covers my knee and squeezes it gently.

  “Do you realize this is our first date? Look at us. We have a baby, and we’ve never had dinner out,” I say.

  “We’re definitely non-conventional, but I think it works.”

  “I don’t really want to leave him with anyone. Should we take him with us?”

  “Sweets, he’ll be fine. We need time away from the bar and away from the baby.”

  I know he’s right. However, I’m not willing to give up anything right now. Selfish as it may seem, I want it all, and I want it now. I’m a modern day Veruca Salt.

  “What are we going to do?” I’m curious as to what our first date is going to look like.

  “I thought we would have dinner and see a movie. Then I’m going to bring you home and make love to you all night.”

  “Ooh, that sounds wonderful. We could skip dinner and the movie and just go for option three.”

  “Wow, look at you. Wednesday you were thinking of withholding, and today your throttle is fully engaged. Why the change?”

  “Just for the record, I wasn’t considering withholding because I didn’t want to have sex; I was thinking about withholding because I wanted to be able to walk. When you unleash that thing, it delivers quite a wallop.”

  The roar of his laughter sends me into hysterics. Poor Aaron is awakened from a sound sleep. His little arms flail about until he calms himself and falls back to sleep on my chest.

  “Why don’t you put him down for the night, and I’ll meet you in our bed.” He gives me a wink and a seductive smile as he walks into our room. It’s funny to think of it as ours. One of the things I love about Zane is he is very giving. He’s opened his life and home to me. He’s given me full access to his child and his heart.

  “I can’t believe how easily he falls back to sleep,” I say to Zane as I enter the bedroom. He lies naked on the bed. His chest is exposed, but a white sheet drapes over his lower body like a beautifully wrapped package.

  “Come to bed, and hurry. Who knows when he’ll wake up? This baby thing puts a damper on romance.”

  “Yes, it does, but it increases your ability to be spontaneous. I also think it makes us think about sex more often. Don’t you find yourself thinking about his next nap?” I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with him. It’s a wonderful feeling to know I’m free to be me.

  People who say they spend hours making love are obviously childless. You can push all the buttons in less time and still enjoy the act. When you know you’re going to be up with a baby in a few hours, sleep takes on a much more significant role. At this point, I’m going with the adage that quality is better than quantity.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I’m beginning to love Mondays. They are usually the bane of existence for the average person, but for Zane and me they are the one day we have freedom from responsibility. Sure we have a baby, but the bar is closed and we don’t have anywhere to be.

  I crawl out of the big bed in search of the man who rocked my world last night. I pull his big T-shirt over my head and let it fall to my knees. I find him in the kitchen with a baby in one hand and a phone in the other. His back is turned to me.

  “Yes, that’s right. It’s important justice is served. I’m going to try to be there. Things are complicated.”

  I reach around him and place a kiss on his back. I sneak around the front and smile at Aaron. Taking him from his dad’s arms, I lift him over my head and make faces at him. He breaks into a smile. It’s the first one I’ve ever squeezed out of him. I’m overjoyed he recognizes me, or at least thinks I have a funny face.

  With the baby in my arms, I set about making coffee. I hear Zane finishing up his conversation. He comes up behind me and presses his body against mine.

  “Did you sleep well?” His lips tickle my skin from the base of my ear all the way to my shoulder. His shirt has fallen off one of my shoulders giving him unfettered access.

  “Mmm hmm,” I murmur as I lean back into his body. “Do you want some coffee?”

  “Yes, I do, and then I was thinking about a run, since you have distracted me f
rom my fitness regimen all week.”

  “I haven’t distracted you; I’ve just changed it up. It’s important to get a full-body workout. I hear variety will keep you committed to your plan. You know, they say that it only takes three months to make a habit of something.”

  “You’re already a habit I can’t give up. Do you want to join us? I’ll buy you breakfast.”

  “No, I have some shopping to do. I have a hot date tonight, and I want to look extra pretty.”

  “Is that right? Well, you could show up in sweats and a T-shirt and your date will be impressed with your beauty, but if you’re dating me, I will have to question your good sense.”

  “Hmm, is there something I should know about you that you haven’t shared?”

  “Nope, I’m pretty much an open book. A few of my pages are ripped and torn, some are stained, but the content is all there.”

  “I’m looking forward to turning your pages, Mr. Abbamonte. You never know what you’re going to find when you flip to the middle. Ooh, and then there’s the end. Will it be a satisfying read?”

  “You’ll never get to the end of my story, sweets. I’m a work in progress; I’m regularly getting edited and re-released.”

  “I’m a series. Just when you think the last chapter has been written, another book is released. You know…you’re my favorite character so far.”

  “I’m your only character,” he tells me. He pulls the baby from my arms and gives me a kiss. Within thirty minutes, my favorite men are gone and I’m left on my own.

  I sip my coffee and look around the house. I remember the first time I saw it. I thought it was warm and masculine. Now as I look through the clouded eyes of a girl in love, it’s a perfect place for an imperfect man. The only difference now is that I know his imperfections are small compared to his assets.

  My day is spent shopping for the ideal dress. I think a sundress would work for anything he has in mind tonight. I’m sure we’re staying local so we remain close to the baby.

  Sugar Glen is a small, but quaint town. It reminds me of something out of a television show. It’s a mix between Mayberry RFD and Leave It to Beaver, with a bit of Gossip Girl thrown in.

  I decide to spend my afternoon on Main Street. If I don’t find what I need here, I’ll visit my beloved superstore at the edge of town. Daisy’s is the first place I visit. It’s a boutique that sits in the center of town. The window display is what catches my eye. Mannequins in cute summer dresses and shorts are displayed amidst beach balls and sun umbrellas. It looks happy, and I’m all about the happy these days.

  “Can I help you?” the sales associate asks. “You’re Alexa, right?”

  Surprised this stranger would know my name, I stop and give her my undivided attention.

  “Hi, how do you know me? I don’t think we’ve ever met.” I cock my head to the side in question. She’s pretty, maybe twenty-five, with blonde hair and blue eyes. I’m guessing her name could be Daisy, although I think Melissa is a better fit.

  “Everyone knows you. It’s a small town. You can’t drag a bitch by the hair out of the bar and not have people talk.”

  “Oh, my God, does everyone know?” I look around me to see who’s watching, but it’s just her and me.

  “Pretty much. You would have to be deaf not to have heard the buzz around town that day. Don’t worry, though, no one liked her. She thought she was a gift to mankind.”

  “She was out of line, and she was disrespectful to Zane.” I begin to walk around the store while she continues to speak.

  “I hear you and Zane are an item. You moved in with him, right?”

  “Wow, nothing gets past you, does it?” I don’t know if I should be flattered or flustered.

  “Ashley is my baby sister. She told me you moved in and you were sick. I hope you’re feeling better.” Her smile and concern seem genuine.

  “Now that you mention it, you and your sister have similar looks. She’s a very sweet girl, and she takes exceptional care of Aaron.”

  “She loves her job. Zane pays the girls really well, and my sister knows there’s a line of women waiting to help out if needed. Although, I’m sure it’s dwindling now that he’s declared you as his.”

  “This is just a guess, but does your mom work at the assisted living center?” That’s the only place he’s declared anything in public I can remember.

  “No, my aunt does.” She begins to laugh. “What brings you in?”

  “I have a date tonight, and I wanted to get a new dress. I was drawn in by your window display.”

  “Well, welcome to Daisy’s. I’m Daisy, by the way.” She reaches out and shakes my hand. “What about this soft blue dress, it’s my favorite. When I saw it, I had to buy it.” She pulls it from the rack and hands it to me.

  It’s a cute dress. I like the V-neck, the cinched waist, and above-the-knee length. I take it to the dressing room and slip it on. Daisy gave me the perfect size.

  “What do you think?” I ask as I walk out of the changing room. I twirl around in front of her.

  “I love it. What are you going to do with your hair?” she asks. She reaches up to touch my limp brown locks. “I think you should leave it down with loose curls. You know men. They like long hair.”

  “That’s what I was thinking as well. What about accessories? Can you hook me up?” I can tell I’m speaking her language. She takes my elbow and leads me to a rack near the register. Hanging from the hooks are cute, one-of-a-kind pieces. I let my fingers skim the glass beads. It’s been so long since I felt this happy, this normal.

  I rummage through several necklaces to find the yellow creation hanging toward the back.

  “What do you think of this one?” I ask as I bring it up to my chest. “I love blue and yellow together.”

  “I would have picked the same one. I think it’s perfect. I have the companion earrings to match, if you’re interested.” She begins to thumb through the rack in search of the ideal earrings.

  I change back into my clothes and carry my treasures to the register.

  “I appreciate your help today. I hope to see you again. You should come by the bar sometime.” I pull out my debit card to make my purchases.

  “I think I will. I should hate you for taking the only decent looking bachelor in town, but I can’t help but like you. I think you and I are destined to be friends.”

  “I’d like that, Daisy. Have a great day, and make sure that you stop by and say hi.”

  She hands me her business card and walks me to the door. This is turning out to be a great day.

  When I walk in the house, I am greeted with a vase of fresh flowers on the table. The kitchen is spotless, and the house smells like freshly squeezed lemons.

  Zane turns the corner wearing green rubber gloves. In his right hand is a sponge and bottle of cleaner. I have to say, I used to think a man in a suit was sexy, but a man who cleans is beyond enticing.

  “Hey, how was your day out? Did you get what you needed?” He walks up to me and gives me a peck on the lips.

  “Yes, it was a phenomenal day. I met a new friend, and I was able to pick up some things I needed. The best part of the day is coming home to find you cleaning. It’s the best type of foreplay imaginable. I just love a man with dishpan hands. It’s a total turn on.”

  “Did I mention I do laundry?” he says as he peels off the gloves and pulls me into his arms. “I’m really good with a vacuum as well,” he mutters between kisses.

  “You’re a shameless flirt, and just for the record, there’s nothing wrong with your suction.” I hop up, wrap my legs around his waist, and smother him with my lips. Judging by his smirk, and his erection, I think he liked my reference to his suction.

  “The flowers are for my date. Do you think she’ll like them?” He places his hands under my bottom and walks me to our room.

  “I love them. How did you know I liked mixed flowers?” He drops on the bed and leans over me.

  “You are a bit unconventional, so I fig
ured roses are too traditional and carnations are too boring. You’re anything but boring, and I think you’re turning to the wild side, so a wildflower bouquet seemed appropriate. Before you know it, I’ll have you on the back of my bike doing seventy down an open stretch of highway.”

  “Only seventy? And I thought you were a bad boy?” I bite his lower lip.

  “Ouch,” he calls out as he pulls away from me. “I’ve had to tone my badness down now that I have people depending on me. The only place I can be bad is in the bedroom.”

  I shake my head back and forth. “I hate to burst your bubble, but when it comes to the bedroom, you’re not bad…you’re exceptionally good.”

  Just as he leans in for a kiss, our built-in romance wrecker lets out a wail that could wake the dead.

  “He’s becoming less cute with each interruption,” he teases.

  “I’ll get him.” I squeeze from beneath Zane and rush to the screaming baby.

  I lift him from his crib and pull him to my chest. His crying settles immediately. I take him to the changing table to get him a dry diaper. Once he’s changed, we sit in the rocker and have a long talk.

  “I got you,” I whisper. “I know how scary it is to wake up alone and feel vulnerable. That’s how I woke up every day until I met your daddy. We are so lucky to be rescued by him.” I kiss his little nose before I stand up to go in search of his next meal.

  When I enter the kitchen, my sexy man is leaning against the counter with a prepared bottle in his hand and a grin on his face. His eye travels to the little white box on the counter. He’s been eavesdropping again.

  “It’s not polite to listen in on a private conversation.” I try to act as if I’m appalled.

  “There are no secrets in this family,” he says gruffly. His smile breaks through his stern disposition. He fools no one but himself. “I have to run out for a few minutes. Can I leave the baby with you, or should I take him with me?”

  “Go—we’re bonding. I have more secrets to tell him anyway.” I stick my tongue out at him like a child would. I don’t know what compelled me to do that, but I did.