My Heart Skips a Beat

by E. L. Todd

  My Heart Skips a Beat

  Book Ten of The Forever and Ever Series

  E. L. Todd

  “Two people in love, alone, isolated from the world, that's beautiful.”

  Milan Kundera

  Chapter One

  Cayson

  Slade and I sat together at the bar. He was on his second beer and I was on my third. A game played on the TV. We both watched it, but I wasn’t really paying attention.

  Slade snuck glances at me every few minutes. “Is everything alright?”

  “No.” I didn’t see the point in lying about it.

  “You want to talk about it?” he asked quietly.

  I rested my elbows on the table and stared at my bottle. “I thought I’d be able to get over what she did but…I don’t think I can. Whenever I’m around her, I fall for her again. But then I’m pulled back even further from where I started.” I rubbed the back of my neck just so I had something to do with my hand.

  “Is this because of her trying to sleep with you?”

  “I guess…for the most part. I just felt used…like I didn’t mean anything to her. And that’s always been my biggest fear. It was like she was playing out my nightmare on purpose.”

  “I doubt she meant it in that way…” It was the first time he ever rooted for Skye. He usually tore her down and told me to forget about her.

  “I just wish I wouldn’t feel this way. And these feelings will never go away.”

  “Maybe you should give it more time before you completely take her off the table,” he suggested. “No one blames you for being this upset. But it’s only been three months since you moved here. Take more time to bounce back.”

  “I just…I don’t think it’ll make a difference.”

  He drank his beer then returned it to the table. “Let me say something.”

  I turned to him, detecting the tone of seriousness in his voice.

  “I don’t like Skye. I think she’s a selfish brat who doesn’t give a damn about anyone but herself. She’s clueless to everyone around her and she thinks she can get away with anything. That being said…I know how much you love her. She’s the one to you. Cayson, you’re never going to find someone else and feel the same way. Every other girl will just be insignificant comparisons. Only because you’ve loved her since you were fifteen you should try to make it work.”

  “But I don’t want to be in a relationship again—ever.”

  “So, you just want to be single for the rest of your life?” he asked incredulously.

  “Exactly,” I said. “You’ve always told me it was the better choice.”

  “The grass is always greener on the other side,” he said. “I would have said that two years ago, but now that I’m with Trinity I don’t feel that way anymore. I’ve known more happiness with her than all those lonely nights. Just take my word for it, it’s not for you.”

  “And I have other things to live for. I want to make a difference in the world, not deal with heartbreak.”

  He sighed. “I know people go through this stage in their grief. They’re so upset that they never want to have another emotional connection. When my dog died, I was the same way. I refused to get another. But I know one day I want one again. He’ll pass away and break my heart all over again, but that love is worth the pain. It’s better to love and lost than not to love at all, right?”

  “The only people who say that have never been in love.”

  He turned his attention back to his beer. “Just give yourself more time.”

  “I already told her we’re done.”

  He stilled. “You did?”

  “Yeah…” My heart cracked all over again. “She came to my door and apologized. A part of me wanted to forgive her, but a bigger part of me wanted to slam the door in her face. I’ve never been this angry before. I’ve given it plenty of time and nothing has changed. Despite my anger, I’m not cruel. I don’t want to give her false hope and drag her through the mud. I love her…”

  Slade stared at my face with a sad expression. His eyes were lifeless and hollow. I assumed he would be happy with this revelation, but he didn’t seem thrilled at all. “All I want is for you to be happy,” he whispered. “And I honestly don’t think this is going to make you happy.”

  I stared at the table.

  “But I’ll support you no matter what.” He moved his beer against mine and tapped it. “To new beginnings.”

  I drank my beer and downed the entire contents. Then I ordered another.

  Chapter Two

  Skye

  I sat in my office and finished a report when there was a knock on the door.

  “Come in,” I said without looking.

  Dad stepped inside. “Can I have a word, Ms. Preston?”

  I hated the formality. It was stupid and fake. “You may.”

  He closed the door behind him then sat across from me. “You seem…down lately. I couldn’t help but notice.” He crossed his leg at the ankle and kept his body rigid like I was a client.

  “I’m fine,” I said automatically. I moved papers across my desk even though they weren’t in my way.

  “It’s okay if you aren’t,” he said. “I’m just checking. You seem distracted at work and extremely quiet. You keep to yourself all the time and never have lunch with me or Uncle Mike.”

  “I’m not hungry,” I blurted. “Besides, I have too much stuff to do around here.”

  “There’s always time to eat,” he said. “Especially with you.” There was teasing note in his voice.

  “I’m fine,” I repeated. I didn’t look at him. “I have a lot of stuff to do, so if you don’t mind, let yourself out.”

  He didn’t move. “Skye, talk to me.” He was more aggressive than before, pushing me without letting up.

  I tried to keep my cool. “This conversation is completely inappropriate. We’re working. Professionalism dictates appropriate subjects. This definitely doesn’t qualify. And if you want me to be tough and strong in the workplace, then stop trying to get me to open up emotionally. I only get through the day by not thinking about my own problems. So, back off.”

  He stared at me then brought his fingers together. “Forget what I said for a moment. It’s okay, Skye. Take a break and tell me what’s going on.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to,” I hissed. “My personal life is none of your business.” I felt bad for lashing out at him, but I wasn’t in a very good place at the moment. I felt cornered. I thought I did a good job fooling everyone into thinking I was fine, but apparently not.

  “Skye…I’m asking as a friend. We’ve always talked about stuff.”

  “What happened to not babying me?” I demanded.

  “If you were Roland I would still initiate this conversation. Now talk to me.”

  I stared at my computer like there was something on the screen. “Cayson and I are done…forever.” The words left my lips and made me feel cold. I didn’t like admitting it out loud. The truth was already difficult to accept, but much harder to speak.

  Dad leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Are you sure?”

  “He made it pretty clear,” I said bitterly.

  He massaged his knuckles. “People say a lot of things when they’re upset…”

  “Not Cayson,” I whispered.

  “Nothing is set in stone…”

  “Please stop trying to make me feel better. I understand the consequences of my actions, and I know he can’t trust me again. I put him through hell. Stupidly, I assumed his love for me would allow him to forgive me. I guess I was wrong…”

  “I don’t think you are.”

  “Well, you weren’t there.”

  “Skye, I told you to give him time.”

  “I�
��ve given him plenty of time,” I snapped. “It’s been three months. He moved all the way here for me but he still can’t look past it. If he hasn’t by now, he’s never going to…”

  “Don’t give up—”

  I slammed my folder on the desk. “Mr. Preston, I’m finished with this conversation. Please leave.” I stared him down until he rose to his feet. He didn’t say anything as he walked out. When he closed the door, it hardly clicked.

  When I was alone, I turned in my seat and stared out the window. The city was below my feet. I could see the skyscrapers in the distance all the way until the bay. Whenever my emotion became too difficult to bear, I counted the number of windows of the buildings until my mind was clear. When Cayson was gone, when my heart had slowed down, and the moisture behind my eyes had been dried, I turned around and got back to work.

  Chapter Three

  Cayson

  Working at the hospital was exactly what I thought it would be. My job was to take samples from patients and isolate the microorganisms in their fluid. When anything dangerous passed through my microscope, I reported it to the Center for Disease Control and the National Institute of Health, and they isolated the patient before an epidemic broke out. I didn’t save lives, necessarily, but my job was important.

  When I got home, I scrubbed myself down so I wouldn’t trail anything in my apartment. The last thing I needed was to get sick from my own doing. After I was done, I dried off then lay in front of the TV. Naturally, I wondered what Skye was doing. My heart ached when I thought about her, and no matter how hard I tried not to think of her, it happened anyway. When I thought about our last conversation, my eyes burned in unspent tears. I wished things could be different. I really do.

  A knock on the door made my heart jump. My natural instinct was to hope it was Skye. The idea of getting over her seemed impossible. Every time I heard a knock on my door, I would always hope it was she.

  When I looked through the peephole, I saw her father on the other side.

  What was he doing here?

  I opened the door. “Hey, Sean. What brings you here?”

  He wore a suit and tie, and his shoes were shiny like they were just polished. He must have just got off work. “I wanted to stop by and see your place.”

  “Well, come in.” I opened the door wider and allowed him to enter.

  “Nice place,” he said. He looked at my small kitchen and pathetic living room.

  “I’ll get something bigger eventually. I just wanted to make sure I could find a job first.”

  “I understand,” he said. He looked at the TV. “Celtics are winning?”

  “Yep. And Slade owes me fifty bucks.”

  “I feel bad for his wallet,” he said with a laugh. He sat on the couch.

  I moved to the other. “How was work?”

  “Boring and uneventful like usual.”

  “Skye made it sound like it was chaotic.” I couldn’t pretend she didn’t exist, not to her father.

  He looked at me. “She was overwhelmed at first but she’s fine. I told her to take up golfing to relieve some of the stress.”

  The idea of Skye golfing made me laugh. “She’s too uncoordinated to handle a club. She should stick to running.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” His mood suddenly turned somber. The light left his eyes. He grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. “I talked to Skye today…”

  I should have known that was why he was here. “Yeah?”

  “She told me you two couldn’t work it out.”

  “I’m afraid not.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  “I’m sorry, but I have a hard time believing that,” he said bluntly. “I know how much my daughter loves you. She’s practically a zombie at work, trying to pretend she’s alive when she’s dead on the inside. I know you aren’t doing much better.”

  “I’ve seen better days…”

  “Then you owe it to yourselves to try.”

  “It’s not so simple, Sean.”

  “With love, it never is.”

  “I just can’t trust her after what she did.” I ran my hand through my hair. “Every time I try, it hurts. Loving her isn’t the problem. I’m sorry…”

  “I understand that. I really do,” he said quietly. “But you guys are different than other people.”

  “I know we are,” I whispered. “I do. But I can’t…”

  His eyes fell in sadness. “Just try. Take it one step at a time. Skye would never hurt you like that again.”

  “She didn’t even tell me the truth,” I snapped. The anger emerged. “Trinity did. Skye chose to keep everything a secret. If Trinity hadn’t cracked, I never would have found out. Skye was perfectly fine with letting me believe a horrible lie.” I stared him down. “And don’t act like you didn’t know either. And I know Scarlet knew too. You let this lie continue. What kind of parent are you? You were the one who was supposed to tell her that lying like that was completely wrong. But you didn’t.”

  If he was offended by my disrespect, he didn’t show it.

  “All three of you are responsible for hurting me. You and Scarlet aren’t exempt. Trinity redeemed herself by having some form of integrity. What’s your excuse?”

  He remained calm and rubbed his palms together. “Skye wanted to make sure you achieved your dream no matter the cost. She understands that there are more important things than her.”

  “Bullshit,” I snapped. “There is nothing more important than love. There is nothing more important than friends. And there is nothing more important than family. She disgraced her love for me and spat on it. I’m more important than what school I go to. So is she.” My hands shook in anger.

  “I understand why you’re upset,” he said calmly.

  “You obviously don’t,” I hissed. “If you did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Maybe you and Scarlet are used to lies, deception, and betrayal, but I’m not. I can have a relationship and get it right the first time.”

  He stared me down then slowly rose to his feet. He suddenly seemed taller, darker. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that to me.” His eyes contained his menace. “You can insult me all you like, but leave my wife out of it.”

  I stood my ground but remained silent.

  “You and Skye aren’t like Scarlet and I. And there’s nothing wrong with that. If anything, you’re more meant for each other than she and I are. There’s nothing you guys can’t conquer if you just try.”

  “Easier for you to say,” I snapped. “What has Scarlet ever done to you?” It was common knowledge that Scarlet was perfect. Sean was the one who messed up their relationship more times than he could count.

  “She could do anything to me and I would still be here. Because I love her.”

  “Or because you’re pathetic.” I’d never been disrespectful to anyone like this, but he was forcing me to have a conversation I didn’t want to have. He was asking me to do something I wasn’t ready for. He was poking at a wound that was hardly covered.

  His chest expanded with a deep breath, and he clenched his fists with the force to break them. “You’re lucky you aren’t Roland. If you were, I’d make sure you’d regret what you just said. And you’re lucky I’m compassionate enough to let your comments slide. I know you’re going through a hard time. When I walk out that door, I will forget this ever happened. All I’m asking is for you to try and make it work with Skye. I love you like a son and I know you’re the key to her happiness. I’m doing this for her. But I’m also doing it for you because I know you need her as much as she needs you. Take the time you need to heal and deal with the pain she’s caused you. But please don’t let her go. It would be an insult to love if you did.” He gave me a final look before he walked out and slammed the door.

  Chapter Four

  Trinity

  When I left work, my paycheck was in my hand. Too excited to head to the bank without opening it, I ripped open the top and pulled it the check. My
eyes widened and practically fell out of my head.

  I made that much as an intern?

  It wasn’t a fortune, but it was enough to get my own place in the city. Even though there were people passing on the street, I jumped up in the air and squealed. Like typical New Yorkers, they kept walking and ignored me.

  Putting up with that cunt Galaxy was totally worth it. I skipped then practically ran to the nearest bank. I’d never had an account before because I never had a job. My dad just gave me his credit card and I used that to pay for everything.

  But now I didn’t need him. I had my own job and I could take care of myself.

  I headed to S and P bank then walked inside. It was quiet and hushed. My mind was booming with techno music because I was so excited. My head bobbed to its own tune while I patiently waited in line.

  When I finally reached the front, I asked to open an account. Then I was directed to a seating area where I had to wait for the next representative. My mood was slowed slightly because I couldn’t cash my check immediately. But I was still thrilled I had money.

  Slade texted me. How’s my lady?

  Good. I’m at the bank.

  Why? Robbing it?

  I didn’t address his comment. I’m cashing my first check.

  Sweet. How much is it?

  None of your business.

  We both know you’re my sugar mama.

  A man approached me. His shiny shoes were in my line of sight. I put my phone away since I was being rude. When I looked up, I flinched.

  Reid stood with his hands in his pockets, and he stared at me with surprise in his eyes. He took in every feature, his eyes lingering on mine. “What a nice surprise.” He smiled at me then extended his hand. “It’s nice to see you again.”

  I was totally caught off guard. My mouth was open and my jaw was practically on the floor. “You too.” I extended my left hand then switched to my right to return his embrace.

  He returned his hand to his pocket. “So, here to open an account?”