The Ride

by Jaci J.

  A loud gunshot rings around the shop and in one swift second, everyone panics. Everyone is pulling guns, scattering around the room, taking cover. Time starts to move fast again and standing in the middle of the room, start to run.

  Blindingly fast, time starts to speed up. Tick heads for the bay door, completely forgetting about me.

  “Get her Meats,” Josh barks at him, pointing right at me. These sick fucks truly want this torture for me, want me to hurt so bad.

  Meats heads towards me with the thrill of the chase on his face. This is it. Grabbing for me he gets my arm in a vise like grip.

  “Ha, I got ya stupid cunt!” Holding on to me he rips me towards his body.

  “Shit! Get off of me!” I shout wiggling around, trying to get away.

  Pulling me to him I bring the knife up with me. Closing my eyes I swing at him. Right into the side of his body. There is no give or resistance from his flesh.

  “Oh, fuck!” he roars in pain. The knife slides in effortlessly. Letting my arm go I open my eyes to see Meat is clutching his side with blood soaking his shirt, seeping through his hands. He looks down at the knife still in my hand with his blood on the blade. Oh shit.

  Falling to his knees, his big body crumbles to the floor.

  “You stupid fucking bitch,” Josh screams wildly and nothing but sheer hatred in his tone. My body goes into autopilot. Turning to him I make a bee line for him. It's either him or me, and I'm sure as fuck not going to die tonight. This ends now.

  He doesn't retreat, doesn't take his eyes from me. Swinging the knife at him, he moves out of the way. The blade missing him by inches. Snatching me up from behind, he pulls my back to his front. Arms locked around my neck.

  Things fade away as my head grows light, the air being cut off. My focus is still on Josh and ending this shit. My heart beats in my ears, not from fear, but from enjoyment. Enjoyment at the thought of killing Josh. For ending this sick game.

  “Josh,” I choke out helplessly. His arms slip a little giving me just enough space to move. Side stepping as much as I can, I move my body a foot to the right of his, still caught in his arms, I have just enough room to step an inch or two to his side. With a swift downward motion, I bring the knife down with force. Inches past my side, right into his stomach. His body tightens for a moment before folding over as he groans in pain. Dropping his arms away from me, he goes limp into a heap at my feet and strangled groan dribbles from his lips. Stepping away I pull the knife away with me.

  “Lil!” I hear it. I feel his voice in my bones. Swinging my head around I see him.

  Tank.

  My mind zeroes in on life. His life. Our lives. His eyes are running over the damage to my body and yelling

  “Lil! Run baby!” He’s calling frantically, trying to wave me over to him with so much fear in those eyes. Looking back I see Josh on his knees.

  Gun fire, people are everywhere and all I can see is Tank. In slow motion I watch Josh reach behind him, pulling a gun from his waist and he aims it at us.

  Tank is holding his gun, aimed directly at Josh.

  “No!” Turning around I run towards Tank. My Tank. I feel his body. Tanks skin on my skin. Arms around me. It all hits me in a rush. Four loud pops. Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! I feel the slicing, burning pain radiating though me. My breath leaves me in a rush.

  “Lilly! Baby. ... No!” Tanks arms around me. I'm safe, I'm home. …

  35

  Tank

  It doesn't happen like it does in the movies. Nothing like those romantic movies with the powerful ending sending your heart to the moon and shit, where the final last words are meaningful and touching. There are no looks, no happy tears, no reaching for one another. There is no face caressing. No last word. There is nothing but pain. No locking eyes knowing everything will be okay in end. It doesn't happen that way.

  I knew walking in there I wasn't going to find my girl unharmed. I was just praying she was alive. I wasn't going to ride in on my bike, take her with me, and ride into the sunset. I was prepared for the worst case scenario. I knew there would be blood, bodies, and a war to fight.

  I took out Tick as soon as I was off my bike. Rounding a corner, I came face to face with that piece of shit and broke his neck. Snapped that motherfucker and watched his body hit the ground without a second thought. Walking around the building to the door, Gin and Tiny on my heels, I found something far worse. Something that made me sick to my stomach. That motherfuckers arms around my girl’s neck. Her bloody, beaten, dirty body shaky and pale with a long gash down her thigh bleeding heavily. I watched my baby fight for her life. I couldn't get a clear shot ‘cause he was using her as a shield, but I watched that fight in her and watched her take his life. She was dirty and bloody, but fucking hell, she was breathing. Everything just faded into unimportance. Gin and Tiny have my back; I just need to get to my baby. Just needed to have her in my arms. I'd figure the rest out later.

  There's not many of them, we've got far more, we came thirty deep. It wasn't looking good for them in the end. In nauseating slow motion I saw that gun. Josh wasn't done with her yet. All that shit they told me about him came back tenfold. He's not going out without her. I saw him take aim. He was going to take her from me, that forty-five pointed right at her. I had to watch it go off three times. Each pull of his finger making me sick. I tried. Fuck did I try. Her body hit mine hard. She hits me with enough force to knock me down. Falling right into me. I knew. Felt that shit like it hit me. Felt it in my bones. I heard the metal hitting flesh and bone.

  “Fuck no. Lilly!” I can hear Gin's agonized growl from somewhere behind me his gun shots loud and ringing in my mind.

  “Oh fuck, no.” Tiny's voice stunned and soft. I knew it when that sweet face paled. Those big brown eyes flutter closed and I heard her gasp for air. Three small strangled breaths leave her body and I held onto her. Hands instantly around her back, my mind trying desperately to fix whatever damage he caused her, that somehow, praying to God that my hands can fix her. Sitting up, I take her body with me. It was real when I felt it. Warm sticky blood on my hands. So much fucking blood. Warm wet blood everywhere, all of it, my baby's blood. This was it. I only got five months with her. There was no more for me. The moment I lost the only fucking person ever loved.

  Holding her to me, all that selfish shit hits me like a blow to the chest, completely crippling me. The worst pain I've ever felt consumed me and all the things I'd never get to have with her clouded my mind. All the things I wouldn't be able to give her. It all hit me hard. I'd never again hear her voice, or get to feel her warm soft skin on mine. There would be no Christmas, no holidays together. I'd never again hear that sweet laugh, or see those innocent brown eyes look at me like I was the best thing she'd ever seen. I would never be able to watch her dance around smiling and she wouldn't be at the club during the day making life that much better just because she was breathing. There would be no more fun and joy. She wouldn't be in my bed at night. Those vacations, trips, and get-together's would be dark without her. I'd never get to marry my girl. Never see that flat stomach round and pregnant. There would never be a forever together. No gray hair, no wrinkles. Nothing. I'd never get any of that shit with the girl that deserves it the most. She deserved everything out of life.

  I just held her to me. Tried to slow the inevitable. I can never forget that face. All I could do was wait for those final words from her. A 'goodbye' or an 'I love you', something so I could at least hear her voice one more time, to make this bearable.

  Her beautiful face is pale, her eyes closed. Her breaths are short and strangled. I know she's choking, so I try to hold her up to keep her from choking on her own blood ‘cause it’s all I can think to do to stop some of her pain. That body that was always going, always dancing is just limp and unmoving. A war going on around us, but she's all I can see. Knowing this is it. This is all the time I have left, and I pray for a bullet to my head. Anything to end this quickly.

  “Tank! … Jesus Christ, L
illy!” Gin's shouting at me, shouting for Lil. I just don't give a fuck. Shot gun in hand, I watch Gin take down five guys on his way to Lil. One after another they fall. For a moment there's chaos, then there's nothing.

  Silence.

  Running to me is Gin screaming with so much pain in his voice, tears streaming down his face. “No! No! Not my sister! Lilly!” Grabbing around Gin's shoulders, Tags holds onto him trying to stop him.

  “Get the fuck off of me! Please! I need to get to her!” Gin swings at Tags, and Rampage helps Tags hold him.

  “God, not Lilly!” Devastated screams coming from one of the strongest motherfuckers I know. Tears in Rampages eyes as he watches me hold Lil. “Lilly! My Lilly. Oh … fuck …. no!” Gin’s strangled sobs hurt. I can feel his pain in my soul. Sitting on my ass I just hold her to my chest. Arms limp and lifeless, I fight the need to be sick. I can't let her go. Tiny goes for her trying to take her from me.

  “Don't touch her!” He's not fuckin’ getting her. This is my last time with her. This is it for me. This is all the time I have left with my girl. He got years, he's not taking her.

  “Tank we've gotta get her help brother.” Tiny pleads with me on his knees crying right in front of me. I can't let her go. Shaking my head I rock her slowly in my arms. I tell her it'll be okay. I tell her I'm sorry for letting her down again. I tell her how much I love her. I want her last moments to be peaceful. I want her to know she's safe now. She'll always be safe with me because I've got her now.

  I can feel her getting colder. Her skin is always so warm and soft. It's always supposed to be warm. Never cold.

  “Please Tank,” Happy is begging me now. God, I can see the anguish in his always happy face. He’s always happy, just like my girl. I just can't. Not now, not yet. Reaching a hand out, Happy goes for her.

  “No,” I scream at him. Looking me square in the eyes I see the tears. The same tears I know I've got running down my face.

  “Tank, I love her too. We've gotta try to save her.” Save her? She's gone! There’s no time and too much damage done to save her, I can feel it. Feel that shit deep down inside of me.

  I watch as Happy puts his fingers at her neck and wait in shocked silence as he feels for a pulse. His face expressionless as he touches her.

  “Fuck me, it's faint, but it's there.” A tiny bit of hope settles over everyone, all the brothers standing around watching as tears fall from every fuckin’ one of these guys.

  Faint sirens fill the silence when Low's hoarse voice hits me.

  “No baby! … No! Not my baby girl.” Kneeling down in front of us, he takes her from me. Takes my girl right from my arms. Cradling her in his arms he stands up, walking away from all of us, holding her to his chest. The sick emptiness settles over me. I don't think I can do this. I can't live without her.

  Watching, I just stare at her. With everything in me I study and memorize everything about her. Running a hand over her hair, Low cries. “It's okay baby. It'll be okay. I've got you. You'll be okay,” he chants softly to her. I just want her back. I want to go back. I want to tell her I'm sorry. Tell her I love her. I just want her back.

  Looking around, there are bodies everywhere. Blood all over my hands, arms, and shirt. The sirens get closer.

  “Gotta get the fuck outta here. There'll be questions.” Tiny tells everyone. Every brother walks past Low holding his girl, my girl. Touching her as they go, they tell her they love her. I'm not leaving. Not leaving her side. Lows bloodshot eyes find mine. I shake my head. I'm not leaving.

  “You gotta go Low. Those charges are gonna stand if they getcha,” Tiny says. Walking towards me, he kisses her forehead.

  Face pressed into her neck he sobs, “I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe baby girl. I love you Lilly.” Kissing her head one last time, he hands her back to me. I've got my girl back. Holding her to me, I wait for help.

  ************

  She died twice last night. Code blue was called over that hospitals intercom with nurses and doctors rushing in and crowding around her. I watched that monitor flat line two times. Each time shattering my fuckin’ heart into pieces, thinking this was it. All of this is the worst thing I've ever lived through. Hardest thing I've ever had to watch. There was nothing I could do but sit there and be helpless.

  Three bullets to her back. The first hit her in the upper right hand side under her shoulder blade. That one nicked her lung and an artery. It caused the most damage and she almost drowned in her own blood.

  The second one hit her in the lower back, hitting her kidney. The third went through her side, hitting me in my side. It's only a flesh wound. I didn't feel it, still don't. I'm numb. Her body just off centered enough from mine that when it went through her, it hit me. She came into the hospital and went right into a six hour surgery. The doctor came out of the operating room with a grim face and her blood all over his scrubs. I couldn't do anything other than listen to him tell me she didn't have much of a chance.

  “Right now, Lilly has a thirty percent chance. The next twenty-four hours will be the hardest. This will be the test to see if the sutures take and the bleeding stops.”

  It's now been twenty-four hours. I haven’t slept or eaten. Fuck. I can hardly think or breathe. I just want my baby back. These last twenty-four hours, the doctor said would be the test. If she made it through, we'd be out of the woods. His words sure as fuck didn't make me feel any better. Sitting by her hospital bed, I just watch her, watch the monitors that are keeping her alive and breathing. Constantly praying, asking God to take me and spare Lil. This is all a helpless situation. No matter what I do, I can't help her. No matter how much I love her, I can't fix this. Holding her hand I don't let it go, needing her warmth and the reassurance that she's still alive.

  “Brother, ya need to change. Get a little rest. I'll stay with her.” Gin offers. He's been sitting here since she was brought in. He can save it, I'm not going anywhere.

  “Not leavin' her.” Shaking his head he puts his hand on my shoulder. I know he's hurting too, but I just can’t care right now. The only thing I care about is lying lifeless in a hospital bed.

  “You love her, yeah?” There is no question.

  “More than anything.” Nodding, he stands up taking Peaches hand in his.

  “We’ll bring ya some clean clothes and somethin' to eat man. Call me if anything changes.” Peaches sniffles, eyes red and puffy. Kissing Lil's cheek, she chokes back a sob.

  “I love you, Lilly. Please, for me, you have to get better because I need you.” she whispers. Walking to the door, she whimpers and Gin follows suit. He kisses Lil's forehead, tears in his eyes,

  “Love you sis. Hurry and get better ‘cause Peaches is drivin' me nuts without ya.”

  Cali does the same, “I love you boo boo,” she says, her words broken. Stitch can't even look at her without losing his shit. Low can't come in because of the police and his outstanding murder charge, so he's stuck and losing it too.

  All of this hurts. It hurts to watch her lay there unmoving and silent, to watch everyone say goodbye, not knowing if or when they get back she'll be alive or not. It just hurts not knowing if and when she'll come back to me. I'm mad as fuck this shit happened like this. Lil should have never been alone. If I wasn't such a selfish prick she wouldn't be in this Goddamn hospital bed fighting for her life. None of this would be happening if it wasn't for me. For the rest of my life, I'll blame myself. For the rest of my life, I'll love this girl the ways she deserves whether she wants me or not. I'll live a life without Lil as long as I know she's alive.

  ************

  Seven days in this hospital room. A few hours ago they stopped the medication that was keeping her in a coma. Now it's a waiting game. Seems her surgery went well after all. They did a full examination of her body. Three gunshot wounds, multiple broken ribs, twenty-seven stitches for the gash on her thigh, two fractured wrists, and all the bruising and welts from being beaten. and The sick asshole didn't feed her for four
days, but may have given her a glass of water or two. But no other sustained injury. No sexual abuse. I gave a million thanks that at least she didn’t have to endure any of those sick motherfuckers raping her.

  Doctor said it was all up in the air after stopping the medication. She could never come back to me or she could recover fully. That's a shit answer, but it's my reality.

  “When’s this shit gonna wear off?” Gin barks impatiently at the doctor.

  Giving him the same answer, “Only time will tell,” he says with a grim smile. After the doctor leaves, we wait.

  Gin, Peaches, Cali, Stitch, Tiny, Kiki, and Low wait with me. Police finally backed off of Low so he was able to see and be with her. We've been waiting a while now. The nurse bustles in with a smile on her face. She's sure as shit an optimistic one.

  “When's my daughter wakin' up,” Low snaps at the cheery nurse. Looking at Lil softly and back to Low she smiles.

  “Lilly's a strong gal. She'll come back to us when she's ready.” Oh yeah, great fucking answer. I can't take much more of this shit.

  “I'd suggest you all get a little rest. I’ve seen this a few times and it takes people a while to come back. Usually twelve to twenty-four hours, so I suggest you get rested up, because when she wakes up, she's going to need you all.”

  Low grumbles something and heads for the door. “Call me the second somethin' changes, yeah?” Nodding my head I watch as he leaves.

  The rest follow. I watch as the nurse checks her vitals, smiles at me, and leaves. I look at my girl. Her beautiful face is still pale. With her eyes closed, her long lashes fan her cheeks, leaving shadows. She looks like Lil, except she's not the laughing, smiling girl I know. I want my Lil back.

  “Please baby wake up. I miss you so fuckin' much. I can't do this life shit without you and I sure as hell don’t want to.”