Hannah's Handkerchief

by Zina Abbott

  Charlie watched as the man turned away while he considered Charlie’s words. He decided to bring up another issue, although he doubted this soldier, by himself, could do much about it. “It does not help when the Americans build more forts and stagecoach stations. When they do, even more white men come, and they also hunt the buffalo. The roads and buildings drive the buffalo away.”

  The soldier turned back and looked him full in the face before he spoke. “I can see that. Unfortunately for the native peoples, the government considers protecting the mail that travels by stagecoach a top priority. I just don’t know the solution to the problem. Miss Atwell has told me somewhat of the Kaw tribe’s experience with reservation life. She assures me, if your people did not continue to hunt the bison, you would have a tough time surviving on what you manage to grow on your land. If that is the case everywhere, I’m not sure shoving all the tribes onto reservations will solve things.”

  Charlie already knew shoving tribal people onto reservations would solve nothing, especially not as long as the white Americans continued to break their own country’s laws and take away Indian land at every turn.

  He turned his gaze toward the blonde woman who had not spoken a word since he arrived. His neutral facial expression hid his surprise over her being the one to share with the soldier information about the difficulties his people faced on the reservation. He had assumed, because she always had stayed away, she lacked interest in the whole matter. Maybe not. Maybe she had spoken with her aunt who, several years earlier, tried to help the Kaw at the time the white men from Washington D.C. forced his people into giving away even more of their land.

  Then, concerned that the woman’s father might not approve of Charlie eyeing his daughter, he turned again toward Jefferson. “It is good to see you again, Mr. Atwell. I must rejoin my people.”

  Jefferson nodded in acknowledgement. “Thank you for visiting, Charlie. I wish the Kaw a successful hunt.”

  ~o0o~

  Jake rode back to the Atwell yard in silence as he thought about viewing the procession of hundreds of Kaw people as they traveled almost in single file. Although, on the surface, not much had been said, the messages behind the words left him with much to consider, especially regarding the opposing objectives of the United States government, policies and the native people. As it had been explained, Jake understood the frustrations of Charlie and his tribe. Charlie Gray Cloud’s comments about the stagecoaches and forts were probably true. Unfortunately, as a member of the Army tasked with protecting the westward expansion of settlers and the movement of mail, he could do little to resolve the issues favorably for all parties.

  After Jefferson dismounted, Jake held his mount steady while Hannah’s father helped her down from behind him.

  Henry walked over and took the reins of Jake’s horse.

  Jake rejoined Hannah and smiled. “Thank you for coming with me, Hannah. Charlie Gray Cloud is an interesting man. There’s something about him that seems familiar, like I’ve seen him before. I had the same feeling when I met him for the first time last spring.”

  Hannah took his arm and turned to walk them away from the house.

  Curious to know what she had in mind, Jake allowed himself to be led.

  “Jake, can you keep a secret, even from Capt. Prescott or anyone else in the Army, if I tell you something?”

  Surprised that she wished to share a confidence and the conditions under which she was willing to do so, he raised his eyebrows. He leaned over and studied her face. “It depends, Hannah. If it’s something which, if I did not disclose it, it would compromise the integrity of the Army or my mission, I would have to say no, I could not agree to those terms.”

  Hannah shook her head. “No, it’s nothing like that. It’s more to honor Charlie Gray Cloud’s wishes.”

  “I’ve told you where I stand. I have no reason or desire to bring harm to Charlie Gray Cloud. You’ll have to decide whether or not to tell me based on that.”

  Hannah sighed and turned to him. “The reason Charlie Gray Cloud looks familiar is because he’s the half-brother of Leander Jones. They inherited the same eyes as their father. Papa figured it out as soon as he saw the two together.”

  Jake scrunched the skin between his eyebrows as he looked away. He returned his gaze to Hannah. “That probably explains why he seemed so familiar. I’m not sure I understand the concern over revealing the relationship.”

  “According to my cousin, Charlie does not want most people to know he and his two brothers are related. He doesn’t want them to encounter prejudice or trouble with their business dealings if it’s widely known they have a half-brother who is part Kaw.”

  “I see. I can’t think of a reason why I should have need to share that information with anyone.”

  “Thank you.” Hannah craned her neck and glanced back at the house. “I think I better go to the kitchen and see what I can do to help Mama with the food.”

  The two turned in place, and Jake offered Hannah his opposite arm. As they walked in silence, a thought popped in his mind. Upon meeting the freighter, Leander Jones, and learning he was engaged to Hannah’s cousin, he had realized, if he eventually married Hannah, he and the freighter would have a family connection. It now occurred to him that, if he did eventually marry Hannah, he would also have a family connection—albeit one rather distant and indirect—to Charlie Gray Cloud.

  .

  .

  .

  .

  Chapter 20

  ~o0o~

  H annah smiled across the table to discover Jake’s gaze focused on her. She reached her hand to just below the collar of her gown and fingered the locket Jake gave her. Only her family and Jake ate dinner together. The Palmers shared Thanksgiving with the other Atwells, Hannah’s aunt and uncle. The three families planned to meet later at her parents’ house for desserts.

  Mary Palmer had readily agreed to invite Jake to stay at their house for the night. Shortly after the ride out to watch the Kaw people, Henry had taken Jake’s horse and tack to the Palmer barn and bedded the horse down for the night.

  Although Hannah and Margarete helped, their mother deserved the credit for planning and cooking a wonderful meal to celebrate Thanksgiving. As a break from beef, the family enjoyed two roasted chickens along with cornbread stuffing, mashed potatoes, canned green beans cooked with a bit of salt pork, cornbread, and three types of pickled vegetables.

  After the three females in the family washed and dried the dinner dishes, all settled around the fireplace in the main living area. Seeing where her father directed Jake to sit, Hannah returned to the kitchen and picked up her father’s chair kept at the end of the table. She carried the chair on a regular basis. Not only did she move it to sweep the floor, but she often put it next to the front window when she wished to better see her embroidery stitches. This time, Jake surprised her by walking up behind her.

  “Here. Let me get that for you.”

  Pleased by his show of gallantry, Hannah stepped back and allowed Jake to pick up the chair. She directed him to place it on the far side of the seating arrangement next to where he was sitting. As she passed Carl and Henry, she almost laughed at their dumbfounded expressions as they watched Jake carry her chair. When they turned to her with questioning looks, she merely smiled in response, even though she felt like telling them, “See? That’s how a gentleman behaves around a lady.”

  Hannah stayed quiet while Jake shared a few things about his family—something he did not discuss in his letters. She liked the way he included her younger siblings in the conversation—a risky prospect since, once Henry felt he was given leave to talk and ask questions, it was difficult to shut him up once more. Most of the conversation took place between him and her father. She did not say much, because she preferred neither her parents nor Magpie criticize her for it later.

  Once Hannah realized what she was not doing and the reason, she turned her gaze away from the others in the room and sought out a blank space on the wa
ll. Why am I acting like I am still being the perfect daughter? Breaking the habit of watching what she said to keep people from finding fault or looking down on her was not easy.

  A knock on the door and the sound of voices outside interrupted the conversation. Before her mother could stand and answer, the door opened. The first to walk inside was Grandma Mary.

  “Is everyone here ready for dessert? Mima baked two scrumptious pumpkin pies, and I brought my two desserts.”

  Along with everyone else, Hannah rose to greet the rest of her family that lived close by. They entered—some carrying sweet treats and some carrying extra dishes and forks—and placed them on the table before doffing and overloading the pegs by the door with coats, mufflers, and hats. After, they all turned to Jake. Hannah introduced him as her guest, but it was her father who announced that he had given Jake permission to court her.

  Once all settled down after that bit of news, desserts were dished and spread among everyone there. The younger ones stayed on the benches at the table—close to the treats—while Hannah’s father moved her mother’s kitchen chair to the living area where all the adults found places to sit and visit.

  Several times, Hannah turned to study Jake’s profile. What do you think of my family? Are they anything like yours? I hope you like them.

  The winter sun began to dip into the horizon. With the growing darkness, Hannah felt the sorrow of impending separation from Jake descend upon her. She knew Jake would leave soon to sleep in the spare room at the Palmers’.

  Grandma Mary Palmer who signaled it was time for the others to return home before it grew too dark. She turned to Jake. “I set an extra lantern on the porch for you to use when you’re ready. Just don’t stay too late. We turn in early.”

  Jake thanked her with a smile. “I’ll need to turn in early, too, ma’am. I hope to leave at dawn to collect my men staying in town so we can get an early start to return to Fort Ellsworth.”

  “I thought you came by yourself, but you have other men with you? Why didn’t you say something, young man? We would have found room for everyone at our place.”

  Hannah sensed Jake grow uncomfortable as he decided how to respond.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Palmer. Considering the situation with the hostiles, even though they are rather quiet this time of year, it was considered unwise for me to make the journey from Fort Ellsworth to here alone. I traveled with six men who were granted leave as a reward for good behavior. They…ah…they were looking forward to spending time in a city larger than the five buildings that make up the town of Ellsworth. Between them, they rented two rooms in the hotel.” Jake cleared his throat. “My hope is they spent more time in the restaurants than the saloons. If not, they definitely won’t be happy to see me first thing in the morning.”

  Mary raised her eyebrows and pressed her lips tightly together. “I see. Well, come to our place when you’re ready. I’ll plan to have coffee and breakfast ready for you in the morning.”

  Hannah grew self-conscious as Mary next turned her attention to her.

  “Don’t keep your young man up late, Hannah.”

  Hannah smiled. “I won’t.” But if I had my way, I’d keep him by me for forever. As the door closed, Hannah knew she did not want to rejoin her family. She wanted more time alone with Jake before he left her—not for the night, but probably for months. She pulled her cloak off the peg and turned to face her parents while she fastened the ties around her neck. “I’d like to speak alone with Jake for a few minutes. We’ll be right outside.” She felt a wave of relief when Jake, following her cue, claimed his coat and military slouch hat and put them on.

  “Stay where we can see you, Hannah, and don’t take too long. Lt. Burdock is expected at the Palmers’ soon.”

  Hannah turned to her father, who had spoken. She wanted to retort that she knew Jake needed to leave soon, that she had been standing right there and listened to Grandma Mary. Instead, she smiled. “I know, Papa. We won’t be long.”

  However, she understood the message behind her father’s words. He wanted her to behave. He wanted to be able to look out the window and not witness anything he would consider unseemly behavior.

  Hannah wrapped her hand around Jake’s forearm as if to guide him and walked in the direction of the door. Once outside, she allowed Jake to reposition her hand in the crook of his elbow. Using her free hand to hold her skirt up, she allowed him to help her down the stairs. From there, she walked ahead until they stood outside the glow of light coming through the front windows.

  Hannah returned her gaze to the front of the house. She knew Jake did the same. Although they stood a few feet back from the glass, backlit by the light still in the living area, she saw the silhouettes of Henry and Magpie watching them.

  Jake turned and claimed both of Hannah’s hands in his. “It looks like we have an audience.”

  “I know. I would think Mama or Papa would tell them to mind their manners.” In spite of the dim light, Hannah moved her eyes up and down, side to side, in order to study Jake. He stood before her with his coat still unbuttoned and his gloves still in his pocket. The brim of his hat shaded the top half of his face, rendering his eyes unreadable. Although she lacked the words, there was so much she still wished to tell him.

  “Perhaps they intend them to serve as chaperones.”

  Hannah shook her head. “That won’t do.” She turned her back on the house and began to walk away. She angled to the right. Looking behind her, and no longer seeing anyone standing at the window, she tugged on Jake’s arm. “Come with me. I know where we can stand without anyone spying on us.” Relieved that Jake followed her, she led him to the corner of the house east of the kitchen window and stepped into the darkness on the side next to the garden.

  Hannah turned to face Jake and began speaking before she lost her nerve. “Jake, I want to thank you so much again for the locket.” She reached up and ran her fingertips across the gold surface. “It’s beautiful, and it means so much that you thought of me.”

  “Of course, I thought of you, Hannah. I wanted to give you something that might mean as much to you as your handkerchief means to me.”

  “You still have it?”

  Jake reached inside his coat and patted the left side of his uniform blouse. “Right here. I’ll admit, it’s not in as nice of condition as when you first gave it to me, but it reminds me of the night we met. I told you I hold you in high regard, and I mean it, Hannah.”

  “I feel the same about you.”

  In the dark, Hannah heard Jake exhale.

  “Hannah, I’m grateful your father agreed that I may court you. I would like to court you, but I realize I cannot offer you any promises or even hope of more within the next several years. I hope you will enjoy owning and wearing the necklace, no matter what happens between us…or to me.”

  “Please don’t say that, Jake. It frightens me.”

  “I must, Hannah. Where I serve—the situation all of us out there must live with—anything could happen. I don’t want you to stop living while you are waiting for me, Hannah. In all seriousness, I beg you. If too much time passes and you grow weary of waiting—if you meet someone else you feel drawn to—I’ll not hold it against you if you do not wish to continue any understanding my being given permission to court you implies.”

  Hannah reached up and placed her fingers against Jake’s lips to stop his words. “No, Jake. No. Please, don’t say these things.”

  Jake wrapped his hand over the back of Hannah’s. He brought her palm to his lips and kissed it. “Yes, Hannah. Please, don’t throw your future away or pass up a good man who can provide you your own family because of your memory of me and what we share now. If I could promise you more, I would. I can’t. I only want you to be happy.”

  Tears filled Hannah’s eyes. “How can I be happy when the same day you ask to court me, you tell me to not feel bound to you? I will not find anyone else. I have no intention of looking.”

  “I want what’s best for you,
Hannah. Ever since the dance, I’ve felt a special connection to you. That won’t change.”

  “I can’t forget the dance either, Jake, or the kiss we shared.” Through her tears, Hannah laughed. “I was having so much fun kissing all those men, especially having permission to do it because it was for a good cause.” Hannah’s tone then changed to reflect the truth she now realized. “But, you, Jake, your kiss is the only one I remember. You are the only one I want to kiss again, none of the others.” Hannah’s throat tightened with emotion, and she swallowed in an effort to again find her voice. “You are the only one I’ll ever want. Your kiss—you.”

  The air between them fell heavy with the silence that followed.

  “You want to kiss me again—perhaps a repeat of the chaste kiss we were limited to by Mrs. Prescott’s rules? I can probably manage that, even with my hat on.”

  Hannah preferred the teasing tone that entered Jake’s voice over his earlier words spoken in all seriousness. Even though she doubted Jake could see her, she shook her head. “No. That high regard you say you hold for me? I want you to kiss me like you really mean it.”

  Hannah held her breath in the silence that followed. She felt Jake’s hands on her shoulders as he gently pulled her to him. She raised her arms and swiftly swung her elbows in a backward arc to push the edges of her cloak behind her. She closed her eyes and sighed as his arms slid around her back, and he pulled her to him.

  Hannah stepped into Jake’s embrace. Grabbing his hat brim in one hand, she pulled it from his head and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pressed against him as she lifted her lips to meet his.

  Just as she remembered from the dance, his lips were warm and tender and kissed her with a sweetness she could not get enough of. As the kiss deepened—grew more intense—she lost awareness of everything around her but Jake and his kiss, and how she wished that they would never be apart. Please, let this never end.

  Slowly, Jake released his hold on her and eased his lips away.