Desperately Seeking Roommate

by Smeltzer, Micalea

  “Why?”

  It takes my brain a moment to compute what she’s asking.

  “Because, you’re smart, funny, sassy, kind, gorgeous—everything. You’re everything.”

  “I-I should go.” She backs away from me, her steps jerky as her eyes land anywhere around the room except on me.

  I find myself desperate to keep her here. I don’t know why. It doesn’t make any logical sense, but suddenly the idea of watching her go while I stay behind isn’t appealing.

  “Stay.” I let the word I know I should keep caged fall loose from my lips.

  Her hands hang listlessly at her sides and when her eyes reluctantly meet mine I see the same question swimming in her eyes.

  Why?

  Mine answer, I don’t know.

  There’s no logical explanation for what I feel for her, how quickly I was drawn to her, but I know I don’t mind feeling this way.

  She’s one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met.

  The silence stretches between us and finally she replies, “Fine, I’ll stay. But only,” she wags a finger at me, “if you get me Starbursts.”

  I grin, shoving my hands into my pockets. “Are you going to share?”

  Her eyes sparkle back at me. “Only the yellow ones.”

  * * *

  I drop the Walgreens bag onto the kitchen counter. “Your Starbursts, milady.” I bow dramatically.

  She shakes her head at me, fighting a smile as she grabs the bag and opens them. Dumping out the contents she sorts the pink ones to her side, yellow to mine, and puts the rest back in the bag.

  I watch as she carefully unwraps one of the pink candies and pops it onto her tongue.

  With a challenging grin, I reach out for the Starbursts. Not yellow, but pink—and not one, but the whole pile.

  Her eyes narrow. “Don’t you dare.”

  I lay my large hand over the pink candy and all the squares nearly disappear beneath.

  “Abel,” she says my name slowly, in warning.

  In the blink of an eye, I swipe up the pink candies and make a run for it.

  “Abel,” she whisper-yells since the kids are sleeping, “I’m going to kill you.”

  I hear her feet padding behind me, but I’m taken off guard when the sound vanishes.

  I grunt as she lands on my back, wrapping her body around mine and holding on like some kind of sloth or monkey.

  “Give me my Starbursts back if you want your dick to ever feel the touch of a woman again.” She reaches one short arm around me, trying to grab them from me, but I easily hold them out of her reach. “Abel,” she growls, her hold tightening. “I will crush you like that Goddamn boa constrictor you made me hold.”

  “Is that a threat or a promise?” I glance at her over my shoulder and find her blue eyes barely peeking over.

  She narrows them as I grab one pink Starburst.

  “Don’t do it.” Her threat is clear, and I revel in the promise of it.

  I unwrap it.

  “Abel.”

  In my mouth it goes.

  “I hope you choke.”

  I grin at her threat, showing the pink Starburst in my mouth.

  I don’t know what she does, or how she does it seeing as her entire body is clinging to mine, but suddenly I’m falling with her still attached to my back like some freakish ninja.

  She doesn’t let go as we fall.

  I groan as I hit the hardwood floor and do, much to her satisfaction, choke on the Starburst as it gets lodged in the back of my throat. With a cough, it dislodges from my airway.

  Rolling over I clasp my hands around her so she can’t leave.

  “That wasn’t nice.”

  She stares down at me, her blonde hair every-which-way. “I told you not to touch my Starbursts.”

  I’d like to touch other things.

  “You should learn to share.”

  She smiles in challenge. “I’m an only child. Sharing isn’t in my vocabulary.”

  My fingers, of their own volition, skim the soft skin of her cheek. “You’re beautiful,” I murmur, and they flush.

  “You’re okay, I guess.” She rolls her eyes playfully with a small shrug. For some reason, we haven’t moved, but I find I’m okay with that.

  My eyes flick to her lips and once again the urge to kiss her sits in the pit of my stomach. Her eyes widen a fraction, waiting, maybe even hoping I’ll do it.

  But I took our first kiss, she owes me the next.

  Somehow I find the will to stand us both upright.

  She looks crestfallen that I didn’t capitalize on the moment. Perhaps it’s stupid of me, wanting her to come to me this time, but I want to know she feels something for me too.

  “We should get ready for bed.”

  Her head nods jerkily and she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “Y-Yeah, we should.”

  I’m surprised she’s not insisting on actually leaving considering what just went down, but maybe she’s too stunned.

  Grabbing my overnight bag I start to head to the bathroom to change when Lou speaks up from the kitchen.

  “Abel?”

  I pop my head around the corner. “Yeah?”

  “I don’t have anything to wear, considering, ya know, I was supposed to be home hours ago.”

  I should feel bad for asking her to stay. She probably had plans, or homework, or something far better to do than hang with me and three kids. But I don’t. I’m glad she’s here.

  Unzipping my bag I pull out my favorite t-shirt for the football team and toss it to her.

  She holds it up. “What exactly is this going to cover?”

  I grin. “I’m curious to see.”

  “Ugh,” she groans, the shirt flopping dramatically in her hands. “You’re impossible.”

  She storms off in the direction of one of the bathrooms and I head to the other.

  Since she took my shirt I end up only having a pair of my gym shorts to sleep in.

  She’s not back by the time I finish brushing my teeth and changing, so I fix the couch into a bed for myself, planning to give her the guestroom.

  “I hate you.” At her voice, I flip around and my throat goes dry.

  Nothing could possibly prepare me for the sight of her in my shirt. It hugs every curve and barely skims the tops of her thighs. I can see a hint of pink panties peeking out from under the gray cotton tee. I should look away, staring is rude, but I can’t help keeping my eyes latched onto her.

  She’s the most magnificent woman I’ve ever seen.

  “This doesn’t fit.” She tugs on the bottom, trying to cover her legs more.

  “Stop,” I plead. My voice cracks and it’s a higher pitch than normal. Her eyes flick up to meet mine.

  “Oh, for fucks sake, now you’re shirtless? Don’t you guys know those shorts make women’s brains go in all kinds of directions and without a shirt it’s even worse.” She waves her hand dramatically at me and then her eyes drop, her lips parting, and I know she’s seen the bulge I can’t hide. As soon as I laid eyes on her my dick came to life. “Oh,” she whispers.

  I flop my body onto the couch and grab a pillow, using it to cover my erection that’s growing by the second and her staring isn’t helping.

  “Sit down,” I beg, instead of command, looking at her over the back of the couch. “Let’s put Psych on and then you can head up to the guestroom.”

  She moves around the couch, standing in front of me. Still she tugs on the bottom of my blasted shirt.

  I’ve never wanted to be a piece of fabric so badly in my life.

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Her eyes drop to the pillow in my lap before darting back up to me.

  “If you go up to bed now all I’m going to be able to think about is what I want to do to you. I need a distraction.”

  Her eyes flash with something—interest, desire maybe—but it’s gone too quickly for me to be sure what exactly it is.

  “Okay.” She grabs the remote and turns the
TV on.

  I let her take care of everything, hoping the show will distract me, but instead all I can focus on is the two feet separating us. I want to scoot closer to her, but I know it’s a bad idea.

  Staying away feels like an impossibility, but I know it’s what I have to do.

  * * *

  The sound of Cristian crying from the monitor wakes me from a deep sleep. I’m not comfortable and as I blink my eyes open I see why.

  Lou and I are tangled together with half of her body between my legs and the other lying across my stomach. She’s on her stomach too, with her head twisted to the side. She’s fast asleep and I don’t want to wake her, I’m certain I could stay like this forever, but the screaming baby demands attention.

  “Lou?” I give her a gentle shake. She doesn’t stir. “Lou?” A little more insistent this time and she stirs, groaning in her sleep.

  “Hmm?” she hums, blinking sleepy eyes at me. “Oh my God.” She reels back and falls off the couch in her haste to get away from.

  “Are you okay?” I sit up and offer her a hand.

  “I mauled you in my sleep.” She clutches a hand to the collar of her shirt—well, my shirt—and I’m pretty sure if there was a pair of pearls there she’d be clutching them instead.

  “You didn’t maul me. We fell asleep watching TV.”

  “My face was practically on your dick.”

  “I mean, as long as you don’t bite I’m quite okay with that.”

  “Oh my God,” she cries again, jumping up. I can’t help but stare as her breasts jiggle with her hasty motions. “I should’ve gone home.” She tugs on her hair, looking anywhere but at me.

  “You do realize I’m your roommate now, correct? That means we live together. You can’t exactly escape me.”

  Cristian’s cries sound through the monitor.

  “The baby.” All thoughts of me flee from her mind as she runs for the stairs. “Why are we arguing when he’s crying?”

  It’s been a minute, maybe less, since we started arguing, but I don’t tell her that as I run behind her up the stairs.

  She pushes open the partially closed door into the master and picks up Cris gently cradling him into her arms. He instantly quiets.

  “Can you make a bottle for him?” She rocks him in her arms, looking at me over her shoulder.

  “Yeah.”

  I should take him from her, tell her to go and I’m sorry for asking her to stay, but I don’t. Instead, I do as she asks and go downstairs to make a bottle for the little guy.

  When I carry it back upstairs I find the master empty.

  Down the hall I find her in the nursery, rocking him in the chair and singing a lullaby softly. She has a nice voice. It’s raspy, not at all what I would’ve expected.

  I could stand there all day and watch her, but instead I force my feet one in front of the other and hold the bottle out to her.

  “Thanks.” She takes it and presses it to his eager mouth. “I’ll get him settled back down.”

  It’s code for go away I don’t need you, but I don’t budge. I sit down on the floor by her legs and she exhales a breath.

  “What are we doing, Abel?”

  “I don’t know.”

  It’s hardly an answer, but it’s the only one I have.

  19

  Lou

  “Boys suck.” I wrap my lips around my Starbucks pink drink, making an awful sucking noise in the process that earns me a few glares from other guests in the coffee shop, but I hardly care.

  “You’re not telling me anything new,” Miranda huffs, adding sugar to her already sugary latte. I take another sip, savoring the strawberry flavor on my tongue. Anything strawberry I’m a sucker for—clearly. “So, what’s pretty boy done now?”

  She stirs her drink, waiting for my reply.

  “I haven’t seen him much this week. It’s like he’s avoiding me.”

  “You did fall asleep on his dick.” She places the lid back on her cup and lifts it in a toast. “That’s unacceptable during a blowjob.”

  “I wasn’t giving him a blowjob.” She knows this. “And he asked me to stay.” I exhale a heavy breath before continuing my rant. “Guys think girls are so complicated, like we’re the ones who send mixed signals. I call bullshit. They’re way worse than us.”

  “I mean … you could finger his asshole and probably get all kinds of answers. Some guys love that shit.”

  “Miranda,” I whine, nearly spitting out my drink, “I didn’t bring you here for this.”

  “You didn’t even bring me. I picked you up.”

  “Semantics. Besides, I bought the coffee.”

  “You’re not even drinking coffee.”

  “Semantics.”

  “God, you’re moody today. Are you on your period?”

  “No,” I snap. When she narrows her eyes I add, “I’m supposed to start tomorrow, okay?”

  “Mhmm.” She hums as she takes a sip of her extra sugar latte. “Where’s Slim Shady today?”

  “He said something about going to the mall.”

  She grins wickedly and I know something terrible is about to go down.

  “Then so are we.”

  * * *

  “This is ridiculous.”

  “You didn’t say over.”

  “This is ridiculous. Over.” I speak into the walkie-talkie Miranda gave me.

  I don’t even want to know why the fuck she has walkie-talkies and disguises in her car as if this is an every day occurrence.

  “It’s not ridiculous. And don’t forget to use my code name. Over.”

  I press the button, speaking into the tiny device I’m pretty sure she bought at a kid’s store. “I’m wearing a fucking mustache and bucket hat speaking into a walkie-talkie. People are staring.”

  She doesn’t respond.

  “Miranda?”

  Nothing.

  “Do you see him?”

  Oh My Fucking God, she’s really going to make me do this.

  “MacDaddy-Spank-My-Titties, are you there? Over.”

  “Why, yes, I am, Louis-Vuitton’s-Dirty-Ball-Sack. No, I don’t see him, and let people stare. They’re just jealous they don’t have a fake mustache and a walkie-talkie. This is very important spy business. Over.”

  “We look like we’re twelve.”

  Nothing.

  “MacDaddy-Spank-My-Titties, we look twelve. We need shorter code names. These ones are ridiculous. Over.”

  “LVDBS, you vetoed the My Little Pony ones I came up with. Over.”

  “MDS—oh fuck this shit, it’s stupid. Where’d you even go? Over.”

  “Fine, forget the code names. Just look around the corner. Over.”

  I lean around the potted plant I’m hiding behind, not very well I might add, and find Miranda waving at me from behind a column that’s in plain sight of everything, wearing a large hat with yellow feathers.

  She looks like fucking Big Bird.

  “These disguises suck. Over.”

  “Stop dissing my idea. We need to keep our eyes open for the subject. I’ll check out another part of the mall. Over.”

  “Ditch the hat first, Big Bird. Over.”

  “You suck. Over.”

  I watch as she grabs the hat and dramatically tosses it in a trashcan, leaving behind a trail of evidence in the form of yellow feathers.

  The two of us head in different directions of the mall, searching the stores for Mr. Popular, but never see him. I feel stupid, even once I toss the bucket hat and fake handlebar mustache in a trashcan. This is borderline stalkerish … okay, actually stalkerish, and I don’t know why Miranda thought this was a good idea.

  Yes, it’s been a week since Abel and I have actually talked other than a quick how are you or see you later, but this is insane. I don’t know why I let Miranda talk me into this.

  I’m on the far end of the mall, inside the Belk store I’m ninety-nine point nine percent positive Abel would never set foot in when Miranda screeches across the walkie-
talkie earning me glares from the old ladies shopping.

  “The subject has not been spotted. I repeat, has not been spotted. He’s nowhere to be found. Over.”

  “Well, I’m hungry. Over.”

  “Me too. Over.”

  “Food court? Over.”

  “Yeeeees,” she drawls. “Over.” She tacks it on at the end in a stern tone.

  Turning off the walkie-talkie I stuff it in the back of my jeans pocket and head across the mall to the food court.

  Spotting Miranda I direct her to the line for Chinese food. “You get lunch, I’ll get dessert.”

  “I like the way you think.” She salutes me, her brown locks swishing as she twirls dramatically and heads for the end of the line.

  I stand in line at the donut stand, a new addition to our mall and perhaps the best thing here.

  My mind strays to Abel, even though I’ve tried to keep those thoughts on a careful leash, but I’m completely baffled by the kiss beneath the pavilion and then last weekend with the kids … it seemed like things were headed in a certain direction and now he’s been radio silent.

  Maybe it’s presumptuous of me to assume it has anything to do with me. He could be stressed about classes, or football, or any number of things in his life that I have no idea about.

  Finally it’s my turn to order, and I get a dozen for good measure. I don’t want to know any psycho who only gets what they need. You always need more donuts.

  Grabbing the box, I head in Miranda’s direction, finding her struggling with a tray of food and our drinks. I grab the drink holder from her and we pick a table near the windows, overlooking the parking lot and movie theater attached to the mall.

  “I’ve never been so hungry.” She plops down with her declaration, opening her Styrofoam takeout box.

  Setting everything down, I grab my food box and a fork.

  As soon as I open the lid, I’m hit with the delicious tangy smell of sesame chicken.