Desperately Seeking Roommate

by Smeltzer, Micalea

  When I finish, she steps back. “I’m going to mur—muppet him.”

  “Muppet him?”

  “It’s code. You can’t be an accomplice.” I laugh and she grins. “Just remember, you’re worth more. Our value isn’t determined by what others think of us, but what we think of ourselves. He doesn’t deserve you, but somewhere, out there, is a man who does. When you find him, it’ll be magic.”

  “This felt like magic,” I admit, biting my lip to hold back more tears. I’m sure I look ridiculous with puffy eyes and a stuffy red nose.

  Her lips thin. “We can fool ourselves into believing something is magic just because we want it to exist. Let it come to you.”

  “I didn’t go looking for him. It just … happened.”

  Her frown deepens. “Are you sure she got panties from his room?”

  “Yes!” I cry, throwing my hands in the air. I storm around her and head to my room, where she follows. It looks like a darkened dungeon and I know Abel should be coming home any minute. I don’t want to see him, because I’m scared when I do I’m going to beg him to tell me I’m wrong. But I’m terrified that even if he lies straight to my face about nothing happening I’ll believe him because I care for him that much.

  Flopping dramatically onto my bed I cuddle a pillow to my chest, tilting my head so I see Miranda as she sits on the end of my bed.

  “I’m sorry.” She reaches out, brushing my hair off my forehead. It’s something my mother did when I was little and I feel a pang of homesickness hit me square in the chest. “Guys suck. It’s in their DNA or something. They can’t help it.”

  “I’ll be okay. I always am.”

  “Love you, girl. I have to go.” She bends down and hugs me awkwardly since I’m sprawled on my bed.

  “Love you, too.”

  I watch her leave, hearing the door shut behind her. I should get up and lock it, but I don’t want to move.

  It isn’t long before the door opens again.

  I hear Abel’s duffel bag drop to the floor and then the sound of the door clicking shut and locked.

  “Lou?”

  My body stiffens and I squeeze the pillow tighter.

  A moment later the door to my room squeaks open.

  “Lou? Are you okay?”

  No, I’m not.

  “I think I’m sick,” I mumble, turning my head away from him.

  “Oh. Can I get you anything?”

  “No.”

  He continues to stand there.

  I feel the need to yell at him rise inside me, to rant and rage, but I refuse to give voice to any of it.

  “Well, if you need anything let me know.”

  Blessedly, he leaves and I’m alone once more with thoughts I wish I could silence and a breaking heart that even the strongest glue can’t keep together.

  28

  Abel

  Lou emerges from her room the next morning with her hair a mess, her eyes red and tired looking, with a slouch to her shoulders. She wouldn’t eat anything last night, even when I offered to pick up some soup. I ended up sleeping in my room, which was weird by myself. We’ve been sleeping together in one of our beds and I missed her presence, but since she’s sick, I respected her need to be on her own.

  “Hey, how are you feeling?” I turn from the stove where I’m making scrambled eggs to see her grab a blanket and roll into a burrito on the couch.

  “Just smashing.”

  “All right, Nigel Thornberry.” I wait for a small chuckle or a snort of amusement, but I get nothing in return. “Do you want some eggs? Toast? Starbursts?” I tack on the last thing, once again hoping for some spark of life.

  “No.”

  “Should I take you to the doctor?” I’m getting worried now.

  I slide the eggs onto my plate alongside the spinach I already prepared and carry it over to the chair by the couch.

  She draws the blankets over her face and gives me another mumbled, “No.”

  “Lou, shit, tell me something I can do. You’re worrying me.”

  “I don’t need your help.”

  There’s a bite to her words and I feel like I’ve been slapped. “Fuck, what’d I do? I’m trying to help.”

  “And I said I don’t need your help.”

  “Fine.” I stand up with my plate. “If you change your mind you can holler for me.”

  I swear I hear a sniffle like she’s crying, but I can’t be sure. I carry my breakfast into my room and shovel it down even though it tastes rubbery. I know something more is going on with her than she’s just sick.

  She’s being fucking weird.

  A thought hits me like a freight train and the plate drops from my hand, the remains of my breakfast splattering on the floor.

  I fly out of my room and Lou’s head pops up from her bundle of blankets at the sound of my quickly approaching footsteps.

  “Are you pregnant?”

  It doesn’t seem plausible, but shit happens, and it would definitely explain her behavior.

  She sits straight up. “Are you crazy? I just had my period. I’m not pregnant you ignorant dick-bearer.” Not sure exactly what that’s supposed to mean. “Now leave me alone.”

  She lies back down, covering up with the blankets.

  Well, then.

  Taking her dismissal for what it is, I get dressed and head out for school. I know when I’m not wanted, and I won’t force my presence on her.

  She knows how to get ahold of me if she wants to talk or needs me for something.

  If I don’t hear from her … I’ll think about what that means later.

  * * *

  The whole day passes without a single text or phone call from Lou. I have no clue whether she stays home or comes to school. I send a few texts after the last of my classes but they all go unanswered. It leads to me being extremely frustrated during practice and more aggressive than normal.

  Stomping into the locker room, I tear off my uniform as quickly as possible, which isn’t quick at all. Every piece wants to stick to my sweaty body and I slam my fist against my metal locker in agitation.

  “Whoa,” Kit calls out from a few lockers down, “a little frustrated over there? Is your potato puff not giving it to you good enough? There’s a cure for that, you know. Hotter girls.”

  I swivel around to face him. “Shut. Up.” I bite out the words, my shoulders rising almost to my ears, with my hands clenched at my sides. I’ve never wanted to deck someone so badly before, but Kit? He fucking deserves it. He’s a disrespectful asshole and he hurt my girl with his words and actions, and clearly he doesn’t find anything fucking wrong with it.

  He raises his hands innocently, a towel dangling from one hand as he prepares to head to a shower. “I’m just speaking the truth, man. What do you see in her? I mean, a one-time thing, sure. I tapped that. But to enjoy my sloppy seconds over and over again? Man, Abel, you don’t have to stoop to that level.”

  Red.

  Red descends over my vision like a curtain closing and an inhuman growl erupts out of my throat. Before my brain can process what I’m doing my body launches at Kit and his eyes widen in shock a moment before I collide with him, tackling him to the ground.

  My fist rears back and into his face, over and over.

  “Don’t fucking talk about her like that!” I yell as he punches me back.

  We’re scrambling over one another trying to get the upper hand.

  Suddenly, a whistle blows and we jump apart because we both know what it means.

  Coach.

  “What are you ladies doing? Break up this ridiculous catfight and get your Goddamn showers so I can go home. This is not fucking Gossip Girl. Keep your shit in check or both of you are sitting out the next game!”

  “But Coach—” I start, wanting to explain myself.

  He holds up a hand. “Never expected to see this kind of shit from you, Russo. Have to say, I’m disappointed. Thought you were better than letting petty locker room talk get to you. And you,” he p
oints a finger in Kit’s face, “watch yourself. Being on this team is a privilege.”

  Coach stomps back to his office, and I look around facing all the guys.

  Laurent gives me a sympathetic look because he knows I don’t lose my shit like this.

  “Keep your mouth shut,” I mutter under my breath to Kit.

  I swear I hear him say I hope you suffer, but when I turn back around his head is hidden in his locker.

  * * *

  This has been the day from hell. Parking my truck, I grab my shit and head inside. I want to change my clothes and crash, but not before I talk to Lou.

  When I open the door the apartment is dark. Her car was in the lot, but it’s possible one of her friends picked her up.

  Turning on the lights I search for a note but find none.

  “Lou? Are you home? You feeling okay?”

  Nothing.

  I venture to my left to her room, pushing the door open with the palm of my hand.

  I find her buried under the covers, just the top of her messy blonde hair peeking out.

  “Lou,” I breathe out, “I really think you should go to the doctor if you’re this sick.”

  She sits up so fast it’s like something out of the Exorcist and I jump a step back.

  “The fact you don’t know what’s wrong with me says a lot.”

  “Whoa.” I raise my hands. “What the hell is going on?”

  “Ask your side piece.” She lies back down, her voice becoming muffled by all the blankets.

  “My side piece? What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “Danika showed up. She got her panties she left here last weekend.”

  Last weekend? Danika? Panties?

  “Are you fucking with me?”

  She sits up again and if looks could kill I’d be dead right now. “Don’t play dumb with me. I’m not stupid.”

  “Lou,” I plead, fanning my hands in a placating gesture. “I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. Danika hasn’t been here since that day after I moved in, and I didn’t have sex with her.”

  “Whatever.” She flops down. “Lies are ugly and I can’t look at you right now.”

  “You seriously think I slept with Danika last weekend? I mean, fuck, Lou. It seems pretty damn obvious to me and anyone who knows me that I’m crazy about you. You’re all I think about. I’ve never touched Danika. Never.”

  “I don’t believe you. I know what I saw.”

  Hurt flares inside me, my chest actually aching. “You have to be fucking messing with me right now.”

  “I’m serious as a heart attack.”

  I yank the covers off her and she glares but I’m tired of arguing with a pile of blankets.

  “You mean to tell me you believe some catty ass girl over the guy who … the guy who…” I exhale a breath, in complete disbelief that it’s this moment where I have to confess how I feel. “Over the guy who loves you more than anything in the world. I didn’t expect you, Lou, or plan for you. It just happened and I fell hard. I think I’ve proven that in my words and actions, and the fact you’d believe Danika over me is fucking maddening.”

  “I know what I saw!” she shouts, her face turning red.

  “What did you see?” I yell back, my tone not angry, just desperate.

  “She got her nasty ass lacy thong from your room!”

  “Did you see her get it from my room?”

  This has to be some cruel joke. I’ve never fucking touched Danika. I don’t want to, not now, not even then.

  Her eyes look lost for a moment and then she stutters. “Y-Yes.”

  I shake my head rapidly back and forth. “I didn’t touch her.”

  “I don’t believe you.” Those words again. They’re like a punch delivered straight to my heart. After everything, the girl I love doesn’t believe me. I know it all comes down to how she’s been treated in the past, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. “I want you to go.”

  “Go?” I repeat in disbelief.

  “Leave, please.” Her tone is soft, begging, and it breaks my fucking heart even more.

  I believe in fighting for what I want, what I believe, but I know I won’t get anywhere with her the way she’s acting right now.

  “Fine.” My shoulders slouch in defeat, my head bowing. I head toward her door and stop, glancing back, to find her gathering the blankets up and around her once more. “You might not believe me, but I’m telling you the truth. I never touched her, never would. I hope by the time you realize that it isn’t too late for us.”

  Her bottom lip trembles and she covers her face with the blankets.

  Gathering a bag with my stuff, I leave behind the first girl I’ve ever loved and a piece of my heart with her.

  29

  Lou

  The incessant banging on the door wakes me from a deep sleep. I pop my head out of my burrow of covers like some sort of underground mole or something.

  The knocking continues and it doesn’t help the headache pulsing behind my eyes. I’ve barely eaten in two whole days and my body is clearly begging for me to fuel it.

  Pushing off the mountain of covers I stand up and thrust my feet into my slippers, gathering my robe around my body.

  Padding into the living space, I swing the door open and find Miranda and Tanner standing outside of it.

  Miranda pushes past me inside before I can even utter a word.

  Tanner gives a sympathetic shrug and follows suit.

  “What are you guys doing here?”

  “What are you doing missing two days of classes?” she counters, tossing her purse on the couch and planting her hands on her hips. “No guy is worth all this pouting. It’s disgusting. Have you seen yourself? Or smelled yourself?”

  I sniff inconspicuously at my shoulder, near my armpit.

  Oh, nasty.

  “Mhmm,” she hums. “It’s bad. I also think there’s way more going on here than we know.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You haven’t seen it?” Her eyes narrow and she grabs her purse, digging through it. “It’s all over campus.”

  Locating her phone she hands it to me.

  “What am I supposed to do with this?”

  “There’s a video.” Finally Tanner speaks.

  “A video?” My brain automatically goes to a sex tape starring Danika and Abel. “No, thanks. I don’t want to see this.”

  I thrust the phone back to Miranda and she shakes her head. “No, girl. Watch it.”

  Exhaling a sigh, I start the video. I can tell it’s in a locker room and two guys are going at it, throwing punches like they mean business. A coach steps in and when the guys break apart I see it’s Abel and Kit.

  “Apparently happened yesterday.” Miranda takes her phone back from me before I can rewatch it.

  “I don’t understand what this means?”

  “All I know is Kit and Danika have been spending an awful lot of time together. They’re both snakes in the grass if you ask me. The hiss, hiss motherfucker type if you know what I mean.”

  “Um…” I hesitate, my eyes bouncing from Miranda to Tanner who looks just as lost as I am, though mildly amused.

  “I need to investigate this. I’m going to need a disguise and then change the batteries in my walkie-talkies.” She taps her lips in thought. “Possibly some rope if he tries to fight me.” Tanner’s eyes widen and bounce to me. “And a quiet place to hold him for questioning.”

  “What the hell are you planning?” Tanner blurts, looking like he’s ready to run out the door.

  “Well, something is clearly amiss here. As much as I’d love to nut-punch Abel for hurting my girl, I’m not sure he’s the problem.”

  “Miranda! You’re supposed to take my side!”

  “You didn’t see him moping around campus today or that Danika chick following him like a dog in heat.” My expression sours. “He didn’t pay her any attention.”

  “It doesn’t matter. What he does isn’t my
business.”

  “Sometimes I want to slap you. I get it, Lou. You’ve been hurt. I have been too. It happens. It’s part of life. Without the sting of hurt we wouldn’t appreciate the high of happiness. Not everything is rainbows, sunshine, and unicorn farts. But Abel,” she shrugs, giving me a sheepish look since she knows she’s pissing me off, “I see the way he looks at you and I don’t believe he did this. If I’m wrong, I’ll still punch him in the nuts for you.”

  I give a small laugh at the visual. “You can do whatever you want, Miranda. But I know what I saw.”

  Her eyes slide to Tanner. “You ready to kidnap a football player?”

  “No,” he squeaks.

  “That’s okay. I’ll get you ready.”

  Tanner gives me a pleading look, but I can’t save him, not when Miranda is on a warpath.

  She grabs her bag and takes Tanner by the arm, tugging him out of the apartment.

  I want to think she’s kidding about kidnapping Kit, but with Miranda I can’t quite be sure.

  30

  Abel

  “Can you hold Cristian?”

  It’s a question, but one I don’t get to answer as the screaming baby is planted into my arms. My sister races to the oven to pull out whatever meal it is she’s prepared.

  I rock Cris in my arms, trying to soothe him, but the way his mouth keeps opening and closing I know he wants a boob, which I definitely can’t help him with.

  I could fix him a bottle, but I know my sister only likes him to have a bottle if she’s not around, so the poor little guy is just going to have to wait.

  “G, I could’ve done that.” She flits around the kitchen gathering plates like a madwoman. Her in-laws are coming into town and it’s the first time they’ve seen the baby. My sister always goes into a panic when her husband’s parents come, but I don’t understand why. They’re cool people.

  “No, no. It needs to be perfect.”

  She starts cutting perfect squares of the lasagna she prepared and placing them exactly in the center of the plates.