by Emma Davies
‘Hello, Alys.’ You say it as if you’ve been expecting me and my throat tightens even further.
All my carefully rehearsed lines fly out of my head and I stand there feeling foolish, and very conscious that my nose must be bright red from the cold.
‘Nancy said I’d find you here,’ I say. ‘She said that you walk this way every day.’
‘Did she now?’ he replies, an amused expression on his face. ‘Well, she’s right, it’s my morning exercise routine. I haul my arse up here and then eat a croissant and drink a coffee through chattering teeth while filling my head with the metaphysical.’ He smiles again, lifting his notebook slightly. ‘Some of it even makes it down on paper.’
‘You always said you would write one day.’
He gives me a quizzical look. ‘I did, didn’t I? Well, I figured now was a good time to do so.’ He pauses for a moment. ‘My reward for making it this far through life.’
I nod. ‘Aren’t you cold?’
Sam pops his pen in a pocket before closing his notebook and hoisting himself to his feet. ‘Mind over matter,’ he replies. ‘As with a lot of things. But you look freezing.’ He indicates the harbour. ‘Let’s walk,’ he adds. ‘And you can tell me how you come to be standing on a quayside at the farthest tip of the country. When did you even get here?’
‘I drove down yesterday. I’m staying in an Airbnb place tucked off the road by the harbour. Just room for me and the cat… You know, the proverbial one.’
A warm smile settles over his face. ‘Ah yes, the one you swing, of course…’ He stops a moment to adjust the grip on his stick. ‘And you drove all the way down here? In the middle of January, when nothing is open and the weather is just desperate.’
He’s wondering why I’m here but I’m not quite ready to answer that question yet. ‘Have you spoken to Nancy?’ I ask instead.
He makes a show of thinking. ‘A few days ago, why? Should I have?’
I shake my head. ‘No, it’s just that… she mentioned you were thinking of retiring, selling your share of the business and settling down?’
His eyes are on my face now, searching for clues. ‘Did she now?’ He starts to walk again, his rolling gait pulling him away from me and then back like a boat bobbing on the tide. ‘Put like that it makes me feel rather old, but I’ve talked about it recently, yes. In fact, I’ve been doing quite a lot of thinking just lately. And this little corner of the country has always been a good place to think. I’m not as involved in The Green Room as I once was, but it still demands a lot of my time and energy and, while I used to think it was that which kept me going, now I’m not so sure.’
‘Oh?’
‘Well for starters I’m finding the travelling something of a strain so it would make sense for me to stay in one location. But that’s not London, I don’t want to live there any more. Plus, I have other things I’d like to do with my life, things which are a lot less stressful than running a business.’
He pulls a face. ‘I’m not getting any younger, Alys, none of us are, but this old body of mine’s a bit battered and if I don’t start taking better care of it, I’m not sure how long it’s going to last me. The way I’m living – long drives, hours sat in front of a computer, rubbish food because I haven’t got the time or energy to cook properly – none of this is helping, so something has got to give. And I think the business may well be it.’
‘I see,’ I say softly, trying to ignore the way my heart is sinking. ‘Well, that makes sense. And the sea air must be good here, I would imagine. Plenty of places to walk too.’
Sam doesn’t reply, just smiles, and we take a few more steps before he suddenly stops. ‘Where did you say you were staying?’ he asks.
‘I didn’t exactly. But it’s called Sailway, on Fore Street. Do you know it?’
He nods and then grins. ‘I should do. I live two doors down… White Cottage. It’s, um… white, would you believe?’
I roll my eyes. ‘I walked past it this morning on my way down here. If I’d have known you were there I wouldn’t have bothered freezing my butt off.’
‘Yes, I’m surprised Nancy didn’t mention it.’
‘Hmm, so am I,’ I say darkly, knowing full well why Nancy had suggested I meet Sam on the quayside. But when she dreamed up her foolproof romantic reunion she didn’t factor in the near minus temperatures.
‘How about I make you a hot chocolate?’ he says. ‘In return for your commitment.’
‘One of your special ones?’
Sam gives me a peculiar look. ‘Is there any other kind?’ he says.
We carry on down the quayside, pausing a moment to let a young boy and his father pass by. The lad has tight hold of a kite and Sam raises a hand in greeting.
‘Morning, William,’ he says, smiling. ‘Make sure you hold on tight to that today, there’s a fair wind blowing.’ The boy smiles shyly in return but he nods and I’m reminded that this is where Sam has made his home, where he is at home.
Minutes later we’re at his front door and I hold his notebook while he fiddles with his gloves and keys. Eventually the door swings open and a wave of the most delicious heat rolls out.
‘Oh…’ We’ve walked straight into the living room where a log burner is dancing with flame.
‘Nice, isn’t it?’ He indicates one of two squishy pale-blue sofas. ‘Park yourself there and I’ll get some milk on.’
I do as I’m told. The heat is wonderful but it isn’t what made me start as I entered the room. The room is almost identical to the tiny cottage I shared with Sam when we first got married. Except we didn’t have a log burner, it was an open fire, with a cast-iron grate that drew beautifully. It was one of the reasons we bought the cottage in the first place. And I can remember it as if it were yesterday.
I close my eyes and lean back against the cushions. I should never have come. This isn’t my house, it’s Sam’s. The place he’s made his home, his life, and one which is over four hundred miles away from mine. I was silly to think that there was even the remotest possibility… I thrust the thought from my head as Sam reappears in the doorway.
‘Have a look at this while you’re waiting,’ he says. ‘And let me know what you think.’
He hands me the piece of paper he’s holding. It’s from an estate agent. The same agency that Ruth owns. I stare at the sheet in my hands, at the warm red-brick cottage with traditional flint panels.
‘The village is pronounced Stew-key,’ comes the voice from the kitchen. ‘Not Stiff-key as you might expect.’
I can’t help but smile. ‘What is it with you and places that aren’t pronounced the way they’re spelled?’
Sam’s face reappears around the doorway. ‘Oh yeah… I hadn’t thought of that. What do you think anyway?’
I scan the details, flipping the sheet and studying the full-colour photos. ‘Beautiful…’ It’s stunning actually; a three-bedroom detached cottage with a landscaped garden on three sides and oozing charm. But I don’t really want to say any more because I’m not yet sure what I’m holding in my hands. So instead I lay it on the coffee table in front of me and unwind my scarf, taking off my coat and draping both over the back of the sofa. And then I sit, staring at the flames in the log burner until Sam reappears carrying a mug.
‘Are you not having one?’ I ask.
He puts the mug down on the table, a gentle smile creasing his face, and I wince at his back as he retreats. Of course he’s having a drink, except that he can’t carry two while his other hand is holding his stick.
‘Sorry, Sam,’ I say just as soon as he reappears. ‘I wasn’t thinking… I’m not…’
But he holds up his hand. ‘No apologies,’ he says. ‘I know you’re not used to this.’ And his eyes lock on mine. ‘Yet.’
He takes a seat beside me, not close, but enough to set the air vibrating between us. ‘So… the cottage in Stiffkey, do you like it?’
‘It would be hard not to,’ I reply. There’s another question I need to ask but I�
�m afraid to, the answer might not be one I want to hear. But then again, there’s a reason I drove for seven hours to get here. ‘What’s it for? A holiday home?’
‘No, not really,’ he replies, leaning forward to pick up the details. ‘But I’m glad you like it because I had an offer accepted on it yesterday. And it’s only an hour away from Norwich. Half an hour from Blickling Hall.’
I swallow. ‘Is it?’
Sam grins. ‘Yes, it is…’
It’s beginning to feel very warm in here.
‘But I thought… when Nancy said you were looking to retire and settle down, I thought she meant, well I…’
‘You thought she meant here, in Mousehole?’ He shakes his head in amusement. ‘I love it here, but it’s not somewhere I could retire to – too many bloody hills for starters, the old legs would never cope.’ He places the paper back down. ‘But this, this is somewhere I can settle. For all sorts of reasons, not least of all because curiously I’m finding myself drawn to the wide open spaces of Norfolk…’ He grins. ‘But it’s a good job you came when you did. One day later and we would have missed one another.’
I catch the look in his eye. ‘That’s beginning to be something of a habit.’
‘Isn’t it?’ he replies. ‘Makes you wonder…’
I can feel a warm glow blooming on my cheeks. ‘It does…’ I trail off, giving him a curious look. ‘Although, where were you off to this time?
‘Norfolk,’ he replies. ‘I have a few things to do. People to see…’
‘Oh…’
He smiles. ‘So now are you going to tell me why you drove for seven hours just to be here? And before you answer that, Alys, can I just say that if it wasn’t to see me I shall be deeply disappointed.’ Sam drops his head, suddenly fascinated by something on the floor. And I realise that this is as hard on him as it is on me.
I’m just wondering what to say when he suddenly looks up again. ‘I know about Hugh,’ he says.
And I realise I already have my answer. ‘Well then you do know why I’m here,’ I reply. It’s been two months now since Hugh and I split up. ‘There’s a very long story, but the short version is that, in the end, things between us just didn’t work out. We tried, and I almost thought we might make it, but with Esme finally beginning to live the life she wanted, the ties that bound Hugh and I together just weren’t there any more. And in the end we found we had nothing much in common. In fact, all we did have were the differences between us. It was Hugh who suggested we part, actually.’
I smile wistfully. ‘He said that for once in his life he was going to do the decent thing. In fact, what he said, very eloquently for him, was that I wasn’t a glass treasure he could keep locked inside a box. And that by doing so all these years, he’d never seen the best of me either. He’d never seen me shine.’
I’d expected Sam to smile, or laugh, passing off Hugh’s comment with a caustic remark, but he doesn’t. Instead he purses his lips together and I instinctively know what he’s thinking.
‘I know what he did, Sam,’ I add. ‘I know what he said to you. You mustn’t blame yourself for what happened.’
There is the ghost of a smile. ‘He told me I wasn’t good enough for you,’ he replies, a slight tremor in his voice. ‘And when it came down to it, he was right, wasn’t he? I never fought for you, Alys. And I should have. What your life became, all of it, that was down to me, I—’
‘No! You had enough of a battle on your hands, Sam. You didn’t need another one. And no one is to blame for the way my life turned out – not you and not Hugh either. I have to take responsibility for my own decisions too. If I couldn’t stand up for who I am, then I certainly shouldn’t have expected other people to.’ I pause. ‘And I had Esme too, don’t forget… It wasn’t all bad.’
There’s a softness to Sam’s face as he turns to look at me, the light from the fire giving his face a golden glow. ‘We have Esme,’ he replies, almost a whisper. Or a wish…
I reach out my hand. ‘We do,’ I say. ‘We always will.’
Sam glances down at the piece of paper still on the coffee table. ‘I heard about your job too,’ he adds, clearing his throat. ‘Congratulations.’
I nod. ‘Thank you. I start on the first of February, although in truth there won’t really be any change to what I’m doing now. Except that I’ll get paid of course. That always helps.’
He nods, weighing up this new information. ‘But what will you do? About the house?’
‘We’ll sell it,’ I reply. ‘It’s the obvious thing to do. A new start for both of us.’
‘I’m sorry,’ says Sam.
‘Don’t be. It isn’t the house that will make me happy. It’s not about material things, is it? It never has been.’
‘No,’ says Sam, quietly. He stares into the fire and, as I watch, a small smile turns the corners of his mouth. ‘I was just thinking,’ he continues, knowing that I’m looking at him. ‘About the little boy with the kite, about what Hugh said.’
I give him a puzzled look.
‘Do you know that William goes down to the quay nearly every day, whether the wind is blowing or not. He takes his kite and if he’s lucky he’ll get to play out its string and watch it fly. It doesn’t always happen of course, but he simply waits for when it does, and then… then you should see his face, Alys. It’s full of wonder, of admiration, of awe… from something as simple as watching a kite fly. And that’s how I always felt when I was with you. Oh, the joy I got in watching you fly. But all the while I knew that there was still this thread between us, almost invisible at times, and that when the wind wasn’t full, or its energy was spent, I would be the one you would return to… always.’
I stare at him, at the face that looks so very different from the one I first knew, but underneath it all, the same man I fell in love with. So different from Hugh who only ever wanted to keep me locked within a box so that he, and only he, could be the one to take me out, to give me my freedom. Whereas Sam, Sam wanted me to go wherever the wind took me, wherever my ribbons shone brightest and fluttered the hardest, and all he ever asked of me was that he could be there to watch me as I did so.
I inch my fingers along the settee until they’re just brushing his. ‘Do you know one of the most wonderful things about Norfolk is that it has these big wide open skies… it’s perfect for flying kites.’
Looking for another page-turning emotional rollercoaster that you can read in one sitting? My Husband’s Lie is a gripping family drama about the secrets you might uncover when you move back into your childhood home.
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My Husband’s Lie
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When I stumbled across the listing for Pevensey House I knew I had found a way for my family to be free and I didn’t hesitate. I should have, I know that now…
When Thea sees her old family home is up for sale – a beautiful old rectory in the small town where she and her childhood sweetheart, now husband, Drew, grew up – she knows she has to have it. Her parents moved her away suddenly when she was eleven, but her childhood there was filled with happy memories. Drew seems less sure, but Thea is certain it’s the perfect place to raise their two children.
But as the last boxes are unpacked, Thea can’t seem to settle. She thought the move would bring her family closer together, but Drew is getting more distant by the day. And why do old friends cross to the other side of the road when they see her coming?
Alone in the house, exploring the creaky corridors she used to cartwheel down as a young girl, Thea smiles as she slides open the loose panel she once used as a hiding place. But it only takes one look at the faded local newspaper clipping hidden inside for her world to shatter.
It’s not long before news of the scandal spreads further and the whole town turns against her. Thea’s life is in free fall as her head and her heart wrestle between taking the blame, and fighting for her innocence. She is sure of only three things: her husband has a secret, her idyllic childhood is a lie,
and they never, ever should have moved back here…
This heart-wrenching and gripping family drama will have you hooked from the very first page. Perfect for anyone who loves Amanda Prowse, Liane Moriarty and Diane Chamberlain.
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Books by Emma Davies
The Wife’s Choice
My Husband’s Lie
A Year at Appleyard Farm
The House at Hope Corner
The Beekeeper’s Cottage
The Little Shop on Silver Linings Street
Lucy’s Little Village Book Club
The Little Cottage series
The Little Cottage on the Hill
Summer at the Little Cottage on the Hill
Return to the Little Cottage on the Hill
Christmas at the Little Cottage on the Hill
Letting in Light
Turn Towards the Sun
Available in Audio
My Husband’s Lie (Available in the UK and the US)
Lucy’s Little Village Book Club (Available in the UK and the US)
The Little Cottage series
The Little Cottage on the Hill (Available in the UK and the US)
Summer at the Little Cottage on the Hill (Available in the UK and the US)
