Counting on Love

by R L Burgess

  She cleared her throat, taking a small sip of champagne as she waited for the room to quiet. “Okay. Welcome everybody. Another Friday, another excellent month gone by. I’d like to start by congratulating Meryl and Stacey in the Sydney team for their successful handling of the BioCon demerger.” A cheer came over the loudspeaker from the Sydney team, who were seen on the video link clinking glasses and patting a pixelated version of Meryl and Stacey on the back.

  “Not only did you finish a day early,” she continued, “the clients were highly satisfied and both parties have signed a partnership agreement with us for ongoing consultancy, so well done Meryl and Stacey.” She paused to look down at her list.

  “We’ve had some big jobs this month; John’s team has been working hard with Friedman Industries, and Thomus’s team has finalised the McFarlane audit. Thom, I hear there is a potential partnership in the works there too?” Reyna scanned the room looking for Thomus. She wasn’t sure he’d show up after their talk earlier, but she was relieved to see him stepping forward.

  “That’s right, Reyna,” he called. “I’ve been in negotiations with them and I’m hoping to have them signed up within the month. Given their international interests it will be quite a coup for the firm to have them on board.”

  Reyna resisted rolling her eyes. Of course he would take all the credit for the team’s hard work. Disappointing after the chat they’d just had. She knew his team would be smarting at his response.

  “Another great team effort,” she said, smiling around the room. “Well, I won’t take up any more of your time this afternoon. Thank you all for your continued hard work. Azoulay House would not be the same without each and every one of you. So raise your glasses and let’s congratulate…Meryl and Stacey—winners of this month’s innovation award.” The crowd applauded and the room dissolved immediately into loud chatter and a clinking of glasses.

  Platters of cheese and crackers had been set out around the room. Staff were encouraged to have something to eat and to drink responsibly. The last thing Reyna wanted was for anyone to have an accident on the way home. Since her sister and brother-in-law had been smashed off the road by a drunk driver, she was acutely aware of the toxic mix of alcohol and driving. Thankfully, she had only had to intervene a few times over the years—a firm hand under the elbow to guide someone away from the drinks table and into her office for a long and boring chat over a cup of coffee while they sobered up. People had caught on quickly and all it took from her these days was a meaningful look and her employees got the message. Friday afternoon drinks were not a privilege to be abused.

  Reyna circulated, making small talk with the staff. Nikki, her PA, hovered close by, ready to attend should Reyna indicate she needed anything, adamant that her role was to be by Reyna’s side at all times during business hours. Reyna had a sneaking suspicion that if she would allow her, Nikki would be by her side at all hours, regardless of business.

  “Excuse me, Reyna,” Kylie from IT broke in. “The national offices are signing off the video link now.”

  Reyna took the cue, stepping over to the webcam to thank the staff for attending. She reminded them to stay safe and drink within their limits, before shutting off the connection.

  She enjoyed spending time at the national offices but had limited her travel as much as possible over the last six months since bringing Holden home. He stayed with her parents when she had business that she absolutely had to attend to in person, but she felt strongly that it was important to disrupt his life as little as possible, given the trauma he had experienced. She relied heavily on her management team to run their ships smoothly, which was another reason why she was becoming so frustrated with Thomus. If he didn’t lift his game his attitude would start to undermine his team, and she just didn’t need that right now.

  And on that note, she was more than ready to wrap up her week and get home to Holden. If she left now she’d be in time for ice cream on the couch before bedtime. She also knew that if she let it drag on too long, people would drink more than was appropriate at work.

  “Nikki, let’s call it a day now, okay?” she said quietly into her assistant’s ear.

  “Absolutely.”

  Nikki snapped to attention, gathering up the detritus of the party. Reyna and a few others helped to stack plates and glasses into the dishwasher and clean off the benches while others slipped away, happily chatting with each other. It was important to Reyna to pull up her sleeves and show herself as an active and involved leader. Morale was high and she felt pleased with the way things were rolling out. She had worked with her HR manager to implement a new pay structure at the beginning of the year which had given many of the staff, especially the juniors, a helpful lift in their wages, and she was not immune to the effect it appeared to be having on their commitment. Staff retention was up, managers were coaching their staff toward career progression, and the firm was really growing into a proper, national family.

  With the kitchen put back to rights, she ducked into her office to grab her briefcase and a bunch of files she could work on over the weekend when Holden was busy. He liked to watch cartoons on Saturday mornings and she would open up her laptop and sit next to him on the couch, doing her best to concentrate against the background mayhem of Looney Tunes. Growing up, she and her sister had also watched Looney Tunes. It was hard to believe it still existed, but Holden loved it and she was happy to indulge him. She flicked off the light to her office and slipped out the door, closing it firmly behind her. It would be good to get away from the office for the weekend.

  “Night, Reyna,” a voice called behind her, causing her to momentarily startle.

  She swung around and saw Zoe walking up the corridor toward her.

  “That was some great work on the McFarlane audit, Zoe,” Reyna said, waiting for her to catch up as she locked her door. “I could see your hallmark stamped all over the outcomes there.”

  “Thank you.” A faint blush stole across Zoe’s delicate cheekbones. “It was definitely a team effort.”

  “Anything nice planned for the weekend?”

  “I’m doing Tough Mudder on Sunday with some friends. It’s an endurance-based, cross-country obstacle course,” she added, clearly sensing Reyna’s confusion.

  “Sounds intense,” Reyna said as they walked down the hallway.

  “Oh yeah, super intense. It’s basically twenty kilometers of insane challenges and mud. Lots of mud.”

  “And you’re doing this why?”

  Zoe laughed. “It’s actually loads of fun.”

  “Running for hours through mud?”

  “So much mud. We’ll all need a hose down afterward, that’s for sure. But yeah, we have a lot of laughs. How about you?”

  “Me?” Reyna was momentarily confused, wondering if Zoe was asking if she would need some kind of hose down.

  “Yeah, any weekend plans?”

  “Oh, right.” Of course, she thought, feeling strangely stupid. “Nothing too serious. Just a quiet one for me.” She was careful with her personal life at work. She felt no need to share her deepest, darkest goings on with one hundred and fifty of her colleagues. She knew she hid behind the distance that her role as CEO created, but she was thankful for it. She was not a fan of mixing her work and personal life.

  “Enjoy the run Zoe,” Reyna said by way of farewell as she pushed open the door to the car park and stepped out into the darkness. She wrapped her coat around her tightly, warding off the chill of the wintery evening.

  “Have a great weekend,” Zoe called after her as the door swung closed.

  Starting her car, Reyna cranked the heating, and pulled out of the car park, shivering as she waited for the warm air to permeate the car. A strange sense of loneliness crept over her as she drove, focusing on the flickering red taillights of the car in front. As much as she didn’t envy her running through all that mud, Zoe’s weekend did sound like fun. She realised she was jealous. It had been a hell of a long time since she had been free to muck a
bout with friends all weekend. She guessed Zoe to be early thirties, not so far apart in age from herself. She was obviously a capable operator, a real asset to the firm. Reyna didn’t know everyone in the firm, it had grown too large for that kind of personal touch, but with the results Zoe was achieving it was hard not to notice her. She was attractive too. Reyna couldn’t deny that. Zoe’s athletic build and wide-mouthed smile definitely helped her stand out amongst the crowd. If they had met in a bar, well, Reyna would have been interested, that was for sure. But that was not how they had met, she reminded herself sternly. She was Zoe’s boss and there was The Rule.

  Reyna had made The Rule for herself very early on in her career: Never Sleep With The Staff. It had stood her in good stead, even when it had occasionally been difficult to uphold. Of course there had been attractions, glances, and serious temptations, but Reyna had been steadfast. She had seen the result of management having casual dalliances with their staff at other firms—broken hearts, lost jobs, acrimony, and loss of reputation. None of that was for her.

  The fact was, her love prospects were slim to none right now. And it wasn’t like she was getting out and about to meet people. These days she was lucky to squeeze in time with Samira and John. All the rest of her socialising, if you could call it that, was done with her staff, and they were covered by The Rule. These days she felt like her closest relationship was with her laptop. Or Nikki. She shuddered, thinking of her well-meaning but officious assistant. Not only was Nikki far too young for Reyna’s tastes, she was painfully self-conscious and took herself very seriously. Nikki had a habit of looking at her like a starving cat planning an attack on an unsuspecting mouse, and the last thing she needed was a lovesick kitten for an assistant. She needed someone who could get the job done. With a sigh, she realised she would need to keep an eye on Nikki and make sure things didn’t get out of hand.

  Setting a high standard for herself was important to Reyna. She knew others would be happy to cut corners and obfuscate the truth in order to make a deal, but she would not tolerate the merest whiff of that. It had been a strain having to watch Thomus so carefully recently, but thankfully he didn’t appear to be doing anything untoward, just not doing too much of anything at all, she thought ruefully. Reyna had climbed the career tree quickly herself. After university, the combination of her natural intelligence and learned business acumen had seen her through some high profile managerial positions, allowing her to rapidly build experience. She had taken a leap setting up Azoulay House seven years ago, but it had paid off in spades. Her love life, however, had not seen such success. And, she admitted to herself, things were unlikely to improve any time soon, given her work and child-rearing commitments.

  The reflection of the streetlights shimmered on the wet road, like a mirage. A light, romantic rain had begun to fall and she flicked on her windscreen wipers. Tonight would have been the perfect night to have a lover to come home to. Someone to curl up with and listen to the rain on the roof, feeling safe and secure inside the bedroom together. Unbidden, an image of Zoe came to mind, curled up on Reyna’s couch with a book, looking at her with inviting eyes. She quickly chased it away. It wouldn’t do to entertain those kinds of thoughts. She knew from experience that even thinking about breaking The Rule was tantamount to disaster. Anyway, regardless of all her rules and (lack of) opportunity, it would be madness to even consider starting a relationship with what she had going on right now. No, her love life was so firmly off the table. It wasn’t even in the same building as the table. Or the same street. Or universe.

  She had to face facts. She had prioritised her work over her love life, and now she had a child to put in front of everything and everyone, so things were doubly doomed. She pushed her clamouring libido down and turned onto her street, enjoying the arch of the trees that lined the little cul-de-sac. The warm twinkle of the lights in her neighbours’ houses reminded her of the comforts of home. She was not alone she told herself as she pulled into her driveway. She had her parents and now there was Holden to love. And love him she did. Already, over the past six months, a fierce desire to love and protect him from the world had arisen within her, surprising her with its intensity. For the first time, she was learning to put somebody else’s needs entirely before her own. She stayed in the driveway for a moment, the engine running as she enjoyed the warmth of the car, the chilly winter evening uninviting. It wasn’t that she had been selfish before; she knew she was a good friend, she always did whatever she could to help her parents out, and she had loved her sister devotedly, but her sister had moved to England a long time ago and their relationship had sustained itself with annual visits and long chats on the telephone. She just really hadn’t had the need to sacrifice herself for anyone else. Until now.

  She snagged her briefcase and left the warmth of the car, trotting up the front steps of her house. She heard Holden’s laughter from within and paused in the hallway, taking a moment to enjoy the sound. She was actually quite terrified of her new role as quasi-mother. There were no rulebooks here. She had had no training as a parent. She had read a bunch of books when she had first brought Holden home with her, but they had made her even more stressed, talking about the importance of the bond created at birth, the partnership between parents, etc. It had filled her with anxiety—she had none of that. She knew she could never replace his parents and she would never want to. She just wanted to do her best to give him a good life.

  “You worry too much,” John had told her. “Just let your instincts take over. Your heart knows what to do.”

  “Yeah,” Samira agreed. “And don’t forget, you’re a CEO. That’s like being a parent to hundreds of crazy, messed-up adults, who will probably be far more challenging and difficult than Holden will ever be.”

  She smiled, hearing her dad give a roar of mock rage as Holden came pounding up the hallway, grinning like a banshee.

  “Aunty Rey,” he exclaimed breathlessly, grabbing her by the waist and swinging around behind her. “Protect me! I stole Papa’s last cherry and now he’s going to eat me for dessert!”

  Chapter Five

  Zoe (Friday p.m.)

  Zoe lay in the bath, luxuriating in the deep, permeating heat. Why did she always make such an idiot of herself around Reyna? She absentmindedly swirled her hand through a patch of bubbles. If she was not careful, Reyna might mistake her for a dithering fool. And she wasn’t. She was a calm, intelligent, capable woman who was punching far above her weight at work. She knew of course that nothing would ever come of her silly crush on Reyna, but for some reason she just hadn’t been able to let it go.

  She let her ears slide under the water, momentarily blocking out the sounds of the apartment around her, amplifying the beat of her heart in her ears. Really, how had she developed such intense feelings for a woman she barely knew? She didn’t even know if Reyna was gay or straight. Not that it made a difference. Reyna was entirely, firmly, one hundred percent off limits. It was the glimpses, the moments watching Reyna giving presentations, speeches, leading a group, conducting their business like a choirmaster that had caught her eye. She made Zoe want to sing. Not that Zoe knew anything about music, but she imagined it might be that way.

  She resurfaced, wiping the ticklish bubbles away from her ears. Honestly, this just would not do. Her friends were over it, and Mel clearly thought she was losing the plot. This evening after she had bumped into Reyna in the corridor at work, she had been as giggly as a teenager. Mel had rolled her eyes, steering her down the corridor to her little blue cubicle.

  Leaning against Mel’s desk, careful not to disturb any of the teetering piles, Zoe had allowed Mel’s admonishments to wash over her.

  “Zoe Cavendish it is time for you to wake up and smell the roses, or whatever the saying is. You’re acting like a schoolgirl. You need to snap out of it.”

  “Snap out of what?” Zoe said, aiming for a nonchalance she didn’t feel.

  “You cannot stalk Reyna in the halls and moon over her.”


  She tried to be indignant. “I am not stalking her in the halls. Or mooning over her for that matter. I just happened to bump into her.”

  “Well, stop bumping into her okay? It’s not doing you any favours.” Mel sighed. “We need to get you out and about and get your mind off her.”

  “Why don’t you get out and about? It’s not like you’re seeing anyone.”

  Mel blushed, piquing her interest. “Wait. Are you seeing someone?”

  “No, I…” Mel shook her head, suddenly interested in a book on her desk. She picked it up and turned it over, studying the blurb. “I’m not.”

  “You are,” she crowed. “Why the secrecy? Who are you dating?”

  “I’m not dating anyone,” Mel hissed, looking sharply around the cubicle as if worried they would be overheard. “Keep your voice down would you?”

  “Why? Why should you care if anyone from work hears us discussing your new girlfriend?”

  Mel hushed her furiously. “I do not have a new girlfriend. Drop it, Zoe.”

  She stared at her friend for a moment, confused by the secrecy. They had always confided in each other. “I don’t know what’s going on here.”

  “There’s nothing going on,” Mel said, tidying up her desk and grabbing her briefcase. “You’ve got the wrong end of the stick. Just as you do with this ridiculous crush on Reyna. You have to let it go now, okay?”

  She had agreed, just for the sake of keeping the peace. And anyway, she knew deep down Mel was probably right.

  Zoe skimmed her hand over the surface of the bath, gathering a fresh trail of bubbles. It was weird, but she supposed Mel would tell her what was going on in her own time. There was no point in rushing her. Trying to push Mel in a direction she did not want to go was like trying to stop a freight train with your bare hands. Or a tornado. Or a supernova. Still, she felt a twinge of anxiety. Mel was like family to her, closer than her own family really. They had done so much together and it felt strange to think that she might have a secret.