Counting on Love

by R L Burgess

  They pedalled the short ride back in silence, Zoe’s inner voice more than making up for their lack of conversation. What the hell had she just done? Probably cost herself her job, that’s what. Why on earth hadn’t she thought of that before? You couldn’t just go around kissing the boss and not expect there to be ramifications!

  At the bike shed they parted quickly, Reyna thanking her briefly for the ride, Zoe nodding, doing her best to avoid Reyna’s gaze.

  With the bikes securely returned to the shed, Zoe hightailed it to her room, sinking onto her bed and curling up with a pillow. She didn’t even bother to turn the lights on, the darkness of the room suiting her mood. She had made a giant error of judgment and she cringed, imagining what her friends would be saying if they were here.

  She cried hot tears into the pillow, furious with herself. Reyna could accuse her of sexual harassment. It was a disaster. She was a disaster. Peeling off her clothes she made for the shower, running the water hot and hard as her tumultuous thoughts finally settled. Undoubtedly, not her finest professional moment. She should have been focusing on her presentation and thinking about how to make the most of what the conference had to offer, but instead, here she was larking about like she was some kind of kid on a school excursion with a crush on the teacher. Even if she discounted the stupidity of her actions, it was embarrassing. She had set herself up for instant rejection, and her rebellious heart smarted, thinking about the look in Reyna’s eyes as she stepped away from the kiss. What had it been? Compassion? Pity? She was hard to read.

  Towelling herself off she gave herself a stern look in the mirror. Should she call her friends? Ask them for advice? That would just add to the embarrassment, she decided. What she needed to do was apologise to Reyna, quickly, before things got out of hand. Maybe if she wrote her a note and slipped it under her door, she wouldn’t have to actually see Reyna and speak to her. That way she couldn’t be accused of harassing her any further.

  She wrapped the towel around her resolutely and grabbed her notebook from the bed, scribbling quickly before she changed her mind. Sunrise must have addled my brain. I’m really sorry. I acted inappropriately. Can we please pretend that didn’t happen?

  She used one of the hotel envelopes on the desk to seal the letter and wrote Reyna’s name on it. She could deliver it now while Reyna was at breakfast and then try to stay out of her way for the rest of the conference. She hoped fervently that Reyna would be understanding. It was all she could really hope for.

  Zoe dressed quickly in a sleeveless, collared shirt matched with a pair of light trousers, and slipped on her sandals. It was set to be another warm day and the heat greeted her as she stepped out of the building and made her way back down the path to Reyna’s room.

  At the door, she paused. Should she knock? Should she just slip the note under the door? She was just trying to decide what to do when the door flung open and Reyna stepped out, right into Zoe’s arms. Zoe jumped back, letting her go as if Reyna were a burning ember. Reyna looked confused as she regained her footing.

  “I didn’t hear you knock.”

  “I hadn’t yet. I was just coming to give you this,” Zoe handed Reyna the envelope.

  Reyna took it and nodded, a muscle in her jaw flickering with tension.

  “It’s an apology. I hope you can forgive my behaviour. I don’t know what came over me but please be assured it won’t happen again.”

  “Okay, yes thanks.” Her tone was clipped. Zoe’s heart sank. Reyna was obviously really angry.

  “Really, Reyna, I’m so sorry, I—”

  Reyna cut her off, “Actually, you couldn’t have come at a better time.”

  Zoe paused, confusion warring with contrition in her mind. “Sorry, what?”

  “I can’t seem to log on to the Azoulay House network and the file I was working on for my presentation is on the network drive. I should have saved it onto a USB but I didn’t. I just assumed I’d be able to get it from the network drive, but now I can’t access it. Do you know your remote login details?”

  “Oh no, that’s awful. I can log in for you, but that will only help if you’ve saved it in one of public drives.”

  Reyna’s face fell. “It’s in my personal folder. And I can’t get through to IT to work out what’s wrong.”

  “Do you want me to take a look? It could be that your network folder has unlinked itself from your profile. That’s happened to me a few times and I think I can remember how to get it back.”

  “Please. I was just on my way to the conference IT crew to see if they could help, but if you think you might be able to take a look?”

  Reyna stepped back from the doorway, holding the door open for Zoe to come inside.

  “Sure, of course.”

  She followed Reyna into the room, trying not to look too curiously around her. The room was set up differently from her own. Where hers was simple and functional, Reyna’s had a touch of opulence that was missing from Zoe’s. The tasteful, dark grey carpet was thicker, and the bed was a king size with what appeared to be an inordinate number of pillows. The sheets were still rumpled and Zoe averted her eyes, trying not to imagine Reyna lying between those sheets, possibly in her pyjamas, possibly not. There was a large mirror, edged in a wooden frame set behind the desk, upon which sat the offending computer. Zoe drew up the plush leather desk chair in front of it and took the mouse.

  “It lets me log in to the main terminal, but from there I’ve got nothing, no network drives, no personal drives, just a blank screen.”

  Zoe skated the mouse over the screen, hoping like hell she could remember the complicated set of instructions she had received from IT when this had happened to her. Thankfully she loathed calling IT so much she had taken notes the first time it had happened, following them successfully when it had occurred again. She hovered over the start menu, scrolling through options until she found the control panel, trying to visualise her notes now.

  “I’m pretty sure you have to disconnect all the preference settings and re-map the drives. I think I can remember how you do it.”

  Reyna didn’t answer. She stood behind Zoe, looking over her shoulder. Her eyes met Zoe’s in the mirror in front of them, her mouth set in a tight line, her brow pinched with worry.

  “Do you want to grab a cup of tea or something while I do this? It could take a while.”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “Right.”

  Zoe navigated her way through the control panel, trying to ignore Reyna’s scrutiny.

  “Oops,” she said as she realised she was in the wrong menu. “Not this one.”

  She tried a few other options, her eyes once again meeting Reyna’s in the mirror.

  “Do you think you can remember?”

  Zoe nodded. “Yeah, just give me a sec. I need to find the thingo.”

  “The thingo?”

  “It’s some kind of menu,” she replied with a grimace. “I forget what it’s called but I’ll know it when I see… Wait, this is the one.”

  Relieved to be looking at a list of options she recognised, she carefully checked the boxes she remembered and went through the advanced suite of options, muttering the steps under her breath as she proceeded.

  “There,” she said. “I’m pretty sure that will have fixed it. If we restart the computer now it should all come up.”

  They both watched as the screen flashed blue, waiting in silence for the login box to reappear. When it did, Reyna leaned over her shoulder, tapping in her username and password. She held her breath, conscious of Reyna’s cheek so close to her own, Reyna’s hair brushing against her ear, her breath on her neck. She didn’t move as the company logo appeared and the home screen loaded, Reyna continuing to lean over her as she took the mouse and navigated to the files menu. She could feel the curve of Reyna’s breast pressed against her shoulder as she clicked through the file stems, accessing her private folder, until she reached the presentation file itself, double clicking on it to open it.

&nb
sp; “Oh my god. Thank god, it’s here,” she breathed as the screen filled with the first slide of her presentation. Zoe took a shaky breath as Reyna walked away from the desk and sank into an armchair across the room, another feature that was noticeably missing from Zoe’s own room. “I appreciate your help, Zoe,” Reyna said, her tone once again formal, in control.

  “It’s no problem.” She stood, hovering near the desk. “I’ll leave you to it then.”

  Reyna looked up at her wearily, her face drawn and pale. “Before you go, we should probably talk. Can I make you a cup of tea?”

  “Oh, no, I’m fine really. It’s fine, I can just—”

  “Please. Sit.”

  She slid back into the desk chair, tucking her hands under her thighs so she wouldn’t fidget.

  “What happened this morning was…” Reyna paused, turning her head to gaze out the window as if something outside could help her find the right words. “…outside the scope of our operational relationship.” She turned back to Zoe with a searching look. “Do you understand what I mean?”

  “I think so. You mean we work together so we shouldn’t, uh…”

  “Yes.”

  “Right. Understood.” Her chest felt heavy, empty, as if someone had scooped out her lungs and her heart and left her with a raggedy hole.

  “I want us to be clear. I am not in the market for a relationship, and even if I was, it would never be with someone from the firm. I hope I hadn’t given you the wrong impression. I apologise if I had.”

  The hollow feeling in her chest expanded, and she nodded, not trusting herself to speak in that moment. Reyna apologising to her. She had not envisaged this. “You hadn’t,” she managed.

  “Good. Well I’m glad we’re clear. I value your input at the firm. You’re an intelligent and skilful operator and I hope this morning’s…strangeness hasn’t jeopardised that.”

  “No, of course not. If you don’t mind me asking, why aren’t you in the market for a relationship?” She bit her lip, wishing she could have stopped the question before it had popped out. Way to make things worse, Zoe, she chastised herself. Couldn’t she just quit while she was ahead?

  Reyna studied her, a wariness in her eyes, and then she nodded and said, “My nephew, the firm, my family. I can’t… Well, let’s just say there’s too much at stake. Those are my priorities and there just isn’t room for any other…distractions.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “No hard feelings?”

  Zoe dialled up a weak smile. “None.”

  “Right, well…” Reyna stood and Zoe followed suit. “I think we can agree to put that behind us and move on. Thank you again for your help, Zoe. Have a great day.”

  Have a great day, Zoe thought as she left the room, cognizant of the sound of Reyna’s door softly clicking shut behind her. She had slept like hell, missed breakfast, and badly messed up with her boss and it wasn’t even eight o’clock yet. Not exactly the makings of a great day. Oh well, at least she hadn’t been fired.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Reyna (Tuesday, p.m.)

  Reyna slipped into her bathers and donned a pair of sandals, wrapping a sarong around her waist. She grabbed her room key and her book, put on her sunglasses and headed for the pool. She had opted to skip the last presentation for the day, which promised to be both dry and ponderous, never her favourite combination, in favour of a quiet moment by the pool. Her head felt thick and heavy, and as she opened the pool gate, she was grateful to see there weren’t many with the same idea.

  She neatly folded her sarong and dropped it on a banana lounge in the shade with her book and kicked off her shoes. If there had been a beach or a river nearby, she would have gone there, but given she was in the desert and the nearest watering hole was at least fifty kilometres away, she settled for the pool. It actually looked quite inviting, its peacock blue, shiny tiles sparkling in the afternoon light. There were a few people sitting at the bar in the middle of the pool, sipping colourful cocktails and laughing. She didn’t feel too much like laughing, she realised. With a sigh, she eased herself into the water and ducked her head under. The cold shocked her and she rose above the surface, pushing her hair out of her face and gulping air.

  What a day. She leant back against the side of the pool and tipped her head back, squinting toward the sun, which was still high in the sky. Hard to believe that was the same sun she had watched come up this morning. That felt like a lifetime ago.

  A thrill ran through her as she reviewed the events of the morning, remembering Zoe’s lips, light as a feather, touching her own. A sudden, sweet ache arched through her abdomen and she ducked her head under the water again, trying to short circuit the memory. Oh body, don’t betray me, she begged. Now was not the time to forget herself over a pair of acorn-coloured eyes and a head of auburn-streaked hair. Not to mention a set of the softest lips that had ever touched her own. Her lungs burned and she came up for air, propelling herself along the length of the pool with a lazy breaststroke.

  Her presentation had been well received, and she was glad to be done with that. There was always a tension that hung over her before she gave a talk. Now she could try to relax and enjoy the rest of the week. Without thinking about Zoe. Clearly that was not going to be as easy as she’d hoped.

  Her day had been peppered with flashbacks of the surprise kiss at inappropriate moments: introducing herself to the audience, chatting with an old colleague over lunch, listening to a lecture on government lending for private business. She had finally surrendered and left the conference for the day, realising that the thoughts were not going to leave her alone until she sorted through them. She swam harder, pushing herself through the water until she arrived at the other end of the pool. Clearly she was attracted to Zoe. It wasn’t an entirely surprising revelation, but she hadn’t exactly been prepared for this either. Alarm bells had tolled when she had agreed to the early morning bike ride, but she had chosen to ignore them. Just some sightseeing, she convinced herself. She knew Zoe had been the one to kiss her, but somehow she felt guilty, as if she had willed Zoe to do it and then slapped her for it. Not cool.

  So now she would just have to avoid Zoe. It couldn’t be too hard given the number of people at the conference, but it wasn’t ideal. And if they did bump into each other, she could always hide behind her role as CEO and be strictly business. Thankfully, Zoe had taken it well when she had broached the subject this morning, but Reyna was pretty sure Zoe would be giving her a wide berth from now on anyway. She had invited Zoe in to her room on impulse, but she wondered now if that had been a wise move. She had sincerely needed the help at that moment, and what else could she have done? The woman was literally standing on her doorstep in her hour of need. It had been hard though, not to pull her in for another kiss, for a taste of her soft, wide mouth.

  Her groin pulsed, heat generating between her legs despite the cold pool water. Oh god, she thought, climbing out of the pool and heading for her sarong. Wrapping her sarong around her, she set her mouth in a firm line, summoning her inner strength. She sat down on the banana lounge, opening her book to the folded page. This morning had been an aberration. Time to move on.

  From behind her closed eyes Reyna felt a presence move in front of her, changing the light behind her eyelids.

  “Catching up on some sleep?” came Jessica’s drawl.

  Reyna’s eyes flew open. “It’s called relaxing. You should try it sometime.”

  “Actually, I do it all the time. I’m just surprised to see you doing it.”

  She shrugged. “I needed some time out.”

  “Right, well don’t forget we’re going to that rooftop bar tonight. I’ll meet you out the front at nine, okay?”

  She had forgotten Jessica’s plan from the night before. She couldn’t possibly go out for drinks with Jessica and Zoe now. That would send entirely the wrong message. “Oh, no Jessica, I think I’ll stay close to the hotel tonight. I’ve had a big day and I’m not in the mood to go out.”r />
  “What! Not you too.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Zoe also begged off. Said she’s got a headache or something. Seriously, you Melbourne girls are no fun.”

  Oh well, she supposed if Zoe definitely wasn’t going to be there, there was no harm in her going. “Fine, fine, I’ll come.”

  “Good.” Jessica smiled archly. “You won’t regret it.” She waltzed away from the pool area leaving Reyna to wonder if Jessica was flirting with her. Jessica, she realised, flirted with everyone. It was her modus operandi.

  She sighed and reopened her book, trying to find the place where she had put it down and closed her eyes earlier. Clearly she had romance on the brain today.

  At ten past nine she made her way past the front desk and out to the hotel’s entrance. She had opted for a simple, sleeveless black dress which gently hugged her curves, leaving her hair to fall across her shoulders. She saw Jessica on the steps with a small group and headed toward her.

  “Reyna,” Jessica called. “Fashionably late as always. I’ve picked up a few others to join us. You remember Walter and Caroline from Silo Corp? And Jacquie from Waterhouse Group?”

  Reyna nodded, saying hello and smiling at the group. She had met Walter and Caroline at various functions over the years. She had actually worked in the same company as Jacquie not long after university for a few months.

  “Here’s our taxi,” Jessica said as a van pulled up in front of them. The driver got out, opening up the side door and gestured for them to enter.

  “I ordered a maxi to fit us all in. We’re just waiting for…Ah, here she is.”

  With a jolt, Reyna looked over to see Zoe trotting down the steps to join them.

  “Sorry I’m late.”

  She looked a picture in a sea-green shirt that exposed her midriff, and a pair of flared black linen pants, cuffed around her waist with an oversized belt. Flashes of the tanned skin around her flat belly were visible, sending off warning signals to Reyna who froze with her hand on the taxi door. What was Zoe doing here? She was supposed to be feeling unwell.