A Secret Melody

by Hanleigh Bradley

  I ignore them as they pass us, but I can feel the tension waving off the boys behind me. I don’t have to look at them to know they are angry.

  Zach doesn’t bring up the conversation he had with Harry on the pitch but it sits heavily between us as we collect our lunch and make our way to a table in the corner. Even as we laugh and joke with Alex and Abby, there’s an awkwardness between us and I hate it. It’s strange having another person sitting with us but Alex seems completely at ease.

  First Zach. Now Alex.

  It’s not that I don’t want to be friends with them. It’s just strange.

  I usually like to keep people at arm’s reach. I don’t rush to let people close but once they are I stick to them like glue. Take Abby for instance. She’s my best friend. It took her almost a month to win me over but once she had, we were inseparable and had been ever since.

  “Mrs Partridge took your phone again?” Alex asks me.

  “Yeah.” I laugh. I’d only looked at it for a second. Zach had kept me focussed for the most part. Everything has become a bit of a competition between us and that conversation had kept me focussed for the majority of the lesson. It was only when I felt it vibrate in my pocket that I’d checked it. It had been a message from my big brother reminding me to practice my piano. Landon loves it when I play piano. We learnt together when we were smaller. He says I’m better than he is though.

  “You’re always losing your phone.” Alex chuckles. “Mrs Partridge doesn’t like you very much, does she?”

  “Nah. She hates me,” I tell him honestly.

  Abby smirks. “You’ll get it back later.”

  Zach is sitting beside me at the table. He’s quiet and I find myself worrying again about what Harry has probably said to him.

  I consider asking him but I can’t bring myself to do it, and definitely not in front of the others. Call me proud but I’m not accustomed to letting everyone else know my business. That had been the worst part about Harry’s lies. Everyone found out about my business without my consent.

  Alex brings it up, just as we’re finishing off our meal.

  “You shouldn’t let Harry get to you,” he tells me and I don’t really know how to respond. He huffs before glancing at Abby. I think she’s kicked him under the table.

  I love my bestie. She’s super protective sometimes.

  “Thanks.” I’m not sure who I’m thanking. Harry for his kind words or Abby for trying to protect me.

  “We all know it’s bullshit,” Alex continues.

  I struggle against tears that threaten to fall, keeping my eyes and forehead scrunched to hold them in. The best, most believably lies are always muddled with the truth. Not everything he’s told the whole school is lies. We did have sex. He did climb out of my bedroom window over Christmas Break. That much is true. The rest is pure lies. He’d been my first. I’d been a virgin. Not the whore he made me out to be. But I don’t want to have to walk people through what is true and what is false.

  Zach doesn’t look at me as he wraps a comforting arm around me.

  I’m equally grateful as I am resentful. I don’t want to need comfort. And I don’t want the people around us to think I’m weak. I struggle not to shrug him off as much as I struggle not to fall further into his side.

  I know I should say something but I don’t really know what to say.

  “It’s not all lies,” I practically whisper. I don’t know why I’m telling them. Abby is the only person I’ve spoken to about it.

  Abby frowns. “Most of it is, Mel. You don’t need to...”

  I grimace. “Abs, I’m not ashamed. I won’t let him make me feel ashamed. He’s a pig.”

  “He’s a complete arsehole,” Alex says but Zach stays quiet and I desperately want to know what he thinks. Harry had been a perfect boyfriend for the two months that led up to Christmas Break. Everything had seemed great until it wasn’t anymore. On the first day of school in January, I’d realised how much of a fool I’d been. That was when I first saw him with Hannah Veniff. We hadn’t even really broken up. He’d just gone quiet. No calls. No texts. No IMs. Nothing.

  “Come on. Let’s get out of here,” Zach says, taking my hand in his and the four of us head to our next lesson.

  Zach stays close to me, as if he’s worried about me but he doesn’t say anything.

  Chapter Eight – Zach

  It’s not until much later that I finally say what I should have said hours ago. We’re finally alone. Abby has gone off with Alex and Ben in search of chocolate, leaving me and Melody sat in the library, surrounded by textbooks.

  With Melody I’m never sure how to proceed. She’s a bit of a riddle – a problem I can’t answer. I’m not sure if my words will offend her instead of making her feel at ease but I have to try.

  “Melody?”

  “Huh?” She looks up from the book she’s studying.

  “I just want you to know that it doesn’t matter to me what happened between you and Harry. You’re my friend.”

  “Thank you,” she says quietly.

  “Don’t ever thank me for being a decent human being.”

  She gives me a small smile before allowing it to grow. “You’re only half way decent.”

  “Half way?” I laugh. “Thanks.”

  Melody waits a beat before adding. “I’ll tell you if you’re decent in a few months.”

  The next day Harry and his shit is long forgotten as we return to the routine we have been developing over the last week except where before there had only been the three of us now there is often four and sometimes five. Ben and Alex have infiltrated our little group overnight much to Melody’s irritation.

  I remind her to stop being antisocial every time she grimaces when the lads join us. I swear I can read her mind.

  “I’m not antisocial. I’m just not as quick as you at making friends.”

  “And yet people are queueing up to be your friend, strangely enough.”

  “Well, obviously they have good taste.”

  “Clearly,” I reply sarcastically.

  After school I manage to talk Melody into letting me accompany her to her piano practice. She says I will just distract her but I don’t care if I have to sit out of sight. I want to hear her play again.

  I keep my distance at first, making myself comfortable in a corner and pulling out a textbook so I can at least pretend to be doing my homework when really my attention is on her.

  I’m not convinced there’s anything she can’t do. The only thing bad about her is the slight antisocial streak that she likes to believe doesn’t exist. I don’t tell her I like her – antisocial streak and all – but I do.

  Her fingers fly across the instrument and I think I could listen to her play forever. I think her fingers would get tired of playing long before my ears would get fed up of listening.

  She’s the first girl I’ve really considered liking. Perhaps it’s because for the first time, I don’t think I’ll be moving school anytime soon and so I can actually picture myself still being here in a few months’ time or maybe it’s because she’s not like the girls from the other schools – or even the other girls in this school for that matter. I’m not sure what it is but I know I’m beginning to like her quite a lot.

  After about twenty minutes of sitting here listening, my feet are itching to go and interrupt her, get closer. From where I’m sat, I can’t see her face. I want to see that look on her face that she gets when she plays. I stand and make my way towards the piano as quietly as possible, until I’m stood in front of her. The melody changes when she looks at me; she weaves an intrinsic pattern with the notes. I don’t understand how she does it. She’s incredibly talented.

  On Thursday, the girls remind me that they have promised to take me out on Saturday to the local town.

  “It’s nothing to write home about,” Abby tells me. “It’s just nice to get out of the school.”

  Ben and Alex don’t wait for an invitation. “We’ll see if we can get permissi
on,” Ben tells us.

  “Yeah. A Saturday out is exactly what we all need.” Alex nods excitably.

  Melody surprises me when she smiles in response to their blatant self-invitations. Perhaps she’s warming to them.

  “We can go to the beach,” she tells me.

  “Do you like the beach, Mel?” Alex asks, eager to talk to her.

  “Love it.”

  “Me too,” he says. I think he likes her and that irritates me a little bit. The problem is though everyone likes Melody and I can’t get annoyed with everyone so I’m going to have to get over it.

  “What about you Zach?” She asks, bringing a smile to my face.

  “I’ll go wherever you want.” The words are directed at her, not the others and it might be a little too obvious.

  The February wind is bitter as we leave the school grounds on Saturday morning. There is still frost on the ground because the girls insisted that we leave straight from breakfast. It’s not even nine am and we’re well on our way up the drive.

  Ben and Alex are squabbling about some game they were playing last night. Abby seems to find their behaviour entertaining. Melody is quiet, but she doesn’t seem unhappy as she walks beside me. She shivers even though she looks snug, wrapped up in her coat, scarf, hat and gloves. She looks pretty cute with a bobble on her head.

  I pull her into my side without a thought for what it looks like or what it means. Right now, all that matters is that she’s cold. I rub my hand up and down her arm in an attempt to warm her up. A shy smile covers her face as she glances up at me before looking over to the others, perhaps concerned that they might have noticed. They haven’t. They’re now engaged in a conversation about the premier league.

  The town, when we finally reach it, is as small and uninteresting as the girls had promised it would be. But I don’t care. I’m just happy to be out. We go to several shops, the girls having timed it perfectly so we arrive just as everything opens.

  Ben and Alex complain good naturedly as the three of us sit, waiting for the girls as they search through racks of clothes. The complaints grow a bit louder when it approaches noon and the two lads grow hungry. Melody takes pity on us, ignoring Abby’s grouching that she isn’t finished yet. I offer to carry Melody’s bags by way of saying thank you. I might not have complained like the other boys but I have seriously been suffering from retail overload.

  The five of us have a quick lunch in a little café before the boys drag us off to their favourite sweet shop. Melody and I stay further back as we trek to the beach, everyone’s pockets stuffed full of sweets. The wind is stronger the closer we get to the edge of the cliff.

  “Anyone remember where the stairs are?” Alex asks.

  “As if you can’t remember!” Abby teases him. “I thought you loved the beach.”

  “I do.” He manages to look really awkward as he runs a hand through his hair, causing me to guff out a bark of laughter.

  “It’s just a ten minute walk,” Melody tells them, pointing in the direction that we should go.

  We follow after the others, her close to my side, even though we don’t touch each other at all. I’m hyper aware of her, keen to keep the distance between us as small as possible. Talking about our lessons and teachers, we keep our conversation light as we walk slower than the rest. There is only the occasional hint of teasing as she reminds me that I have yet to beat her in any of our competitions. I return her teasing by threatening that I’ll beat her next time. She doesn’t look convinced.

  “When you beat me, I’ll...” She pauses, apparently failing to think of anything.

  I can think of several things I’d like her to do if I win but I shake my head, trying to clear it. “Don’t make promises you might regret.”

  “Who says I’ll regret it?” She retorts, her competitive side showing.

  “No one – no one at all. Make all the bets you like. I’ll happily reap my rewards when I win.”

  She replies with a shove to my side. I wrap my arm around her, holding her close.

  The weeks that follow are better than the time I’ve spent in any of the other schools I’ve attended. Partly because for the first time I don’t think I’ll have to leave but mostly because I spend them with Melody.

  The more time I spend with her the more I like her.

  I’ve known her for almost a month now. Our relationship hasn’t really changed except we flirt pretty much none stop, teasing each other constantly, competing against each other at everything. Our friends give us knowing looks every time they catch us. As if they know something we don’t. We know it; we just haven’t said it. Yet.

  We barely spend any time alone so I’m not sure when I’d get a chance to actually tell her I like her. The only time we get to ourselves is those brief moments when I steal into her piano practice sessions. Then I get to spend time with just her. I live for those moments.

  I’m constantly trying to sneakily touch her – innocent touches – a hand on her shoulder as I say good morning to her, a brush of a finger as we exchange books in the library, a knock of two knees beneath the desk in Math class, and an arm on her chair in the canteen. My heart races when I finally man up enough to take her hand in mine, where it sits on the desk in the library one evening.

  She doesn’t say anything but she doesn’t pull away either. For me, that moment is like a secret victory and I’m doing a lap of honour in my head.

  Chapter Nine – Melody

  His hand holds mine. The others will be back soon but I don’t take my hand away. We don’t say anything. My heart is rushing in my chest as I struggle to pay attention to the book in front of me. When our friends approach us he still doesn’t let go and when I go to, he just pulls my hand under the table still in his.

  “Oh my god!” Abby is being far too loud for the library as she takes a seat opposite us. “You won’t believe what we just saw.”

  “What?” Zach asks. I don’t know how he can pay them any attention at all. My mind is full of thoughts of his hand in mine, his thumb drawing circles on the back of my hand... My mind is fuzzled, my heart skipping erratically and my palms are beginning to sweat. EWW.

  Alex is no quieter as he tells us that they just caught Harry making out with Zoe Parkton. She’s in the year below us and clearly stupid.

  Poor Hannah, I can’t help myself thinking. She might be a cold faced bitch but no one deserves to be cheated on.

  I don’t know what reaction they expect so I settle for a sad smile. “That’s a shame.”

  I refuse to gloat. I know that as nice as my friends are, right now that’s what they want. They want to bitch, gloat and enjoy someone else’s pain but I won’t do it.

  Zach sighs. “Oh well. None of our business, anyway.” I’m grateful that at least he’s willing to be mature about it. With his words the topic is dropped. My hand remains in his until it’s time for us to leave the library sometime later.

  The next few days are chaotic as the school turns the shitty story about Harry and Zoe into the ‘Must Know Gossip’ of the month. If Hannah expects sympathy she’s delusional. She doesn’t get it. Far from it. Everyone is quick to remind her that karma is a bitch.

  Things get a little crazy during PE class. The bitchy snark turns into outright bullying as the girls pummel footballs at her while we wait for the teacher to join us.

  “That’s enough,” I shout out but they don’t listen. They are an angry mob. I step out in front of Hannah, right into the path of the onslaught of balls.

  One ball hits me square in the face before the girls realise that I’m not their target.

  “Shit!” The girl who threw the ball that hit me cowers back. “Sorry Melody.”

  I glare at her. I don’t want her apology. I want her to realise that they have massively gone overboard. “Enough. Hannah doesn’t deserve this.”

  The girls all talk at once, clearly disagreeing with me. “No one does,” I say through gritted teeth.

  The girls back down. I turn a half
fraction towards Hannah, wondering if she’ll be grateful or pissed that I dared to help her.

  Her face is masked, as she tries not to show how much everything is getting to her.

  I’m never going to be her friend but I can show her a little kindness. “Shit happens,” I tell her. “You’re better without him.”

  She doesn’t respond. I don’t really give her time to as I walk away.

  Zach’s fucking livid when he sees the black eye that is getting darker and darker by the second. It’s lunch time and the boys have saved a place for Abby and me in the queue for the canteen.

  His hand reaches out automatically, causing me to flinch as he touches my bruised skin.

  “What happened?” His face is all hard lines as he takes in the sight of me. “Who?”

  I brush him off. “It’s nothing.”

  “That’s not nothing,” he argues angrily.

  Abby cuts in. “It wasn’t aimed at Melody. Our girl here decided to get in the ball’s path.”

  “So it happened during the game?” He asks her, clearly thinking he won’t get a sensible answer out of me. The tension in his shoulders eases slightly as he begins to think that this is just the result of a particularly rough game of football.

  “Not so much but they were aiming for Hannah Veniff, not Mel.”

  “And Melody just thought she’d get between Veniff and the ball?” Zach asks. The word Veniff drips with loathing the way he says it.

  “Well it wasn’t just one ball. They went way too far.” I don’t know why I’m defending myself, perhaps it’s because I also don’t know why I defended Hannah.

  “She’s lucky you’re a decent person,” Zach says bitterly. “I’d have let her get hit.”

  There is a murmur of agreement from the other three.

  “No, you wouldn’t.” I know him better than that.

  Chapter Ten – Zach