Seaside Manor Bed and Breakfast

by Lilly Mirren

  He didn’t answer right away, she knew he’d be considering his words carefully. That’s how he responded whenever he was cornered — carefully, slowly.

  “They weren’t mine…”

  “Don’t try that with me. I asked around, turns out you were not only doing them you were dealing as well.”

  He laughed. “Well, I guess I couldn’t keep it from you forever, although it took you long enough to open your eyes. You were always so clueless.”

  Emily shook her head. How had she ever fallen for someone with so much disdain for her, someone who’d treat her that way? But he was right, she’d been naive for far too long. Perhaps she hadn’t wanted to see the man he was because she had no one else.

  “You were my family for a long time, Callum. I loved you… or at least I thought I did. But it’s time to put that all behind us. I wish you only the best.”

  He grunted. “Yeah, you too, babe. You too.”

  She hung up the phone, leaning against the kitchen bench with a sigh, her eyes squeezed shut.

  “Who was that?” asked Ethan in a soft voice.

  She blinked, focused on his handsome face. “My ex. He wanted me to move up to Airlie Beach with him, I told him no.”

  “I heard,” he replied.

  Ethan came to her then, and she rested her head on his shoulder as he wrapped her up in his arms.

  “I don’t know what I was thinking… I wasn’t thinking at all when it came to Callum. I left my friends, my job, everything in Sydney to move to Coffs to be with him. But all that time he was a completely different person to who I thought he was.”

  Ethan stroked the hair away from her face.

  “I think I did it because I was still grieving over losing Mum, and I thought I was all alone in the world. That he was the only person who cared about me, so if I didn’t have him — I didn’t have anyone.” She choked back a sob. “I wish… I wish I’d done everything so differently.”

  He kissed the tip of her nose. “Grief can make any of us do things we wouldn’t otherwise do. It’s the one thing we have no control over in life — we can’t decide whether or not we want to grieve. It pushes through us one way or another.”

  She smiled, through a blur of tears. “Thank you for being here.”

  He grinned. “You’re welcome.” Then he kissed her again.

  Sarah

  The cool wind whipped up over the jagged cliff tops. Moonlight reflected off the grassy yard and made the white walls of the cottage glow an eerie bluish colour. The moon hung overhead, low, and almost full, like a cozy night light.

  Sarah sat beside Mick on the swinging bench seat, her head on his lap, a blanket nestled around her shoulders. He swung the seat slowly, thoughtfully, as he gazed out at the expanse of dark ocean that stretched away into nothing.

  “What could be better than this?” he asked.

  She smiled, watching him. “Nothing.”

  He looked at her, caught her eye, his own sparkling. “This is the life.”

  Below Sarah, under her seat, she heard the faint thud of a tail beating against the floorboards. Oscar liked to be close to her, as close as he could manage. She never thought she could love a dog as much as she loved him. He followed her around during the day, slept on her feet in the evenings and did his best to crawl into bed with her at night — but that was a line she hadn’t let him cross yet, instead insisting he sleep in his own cushy bed.

  “Have you ever thought about tying the knot?” asked Mick.

  Sarah sat up with a start, pulled the blanket tighter as she faced him. “Well… yeah, I was engaged once. Remember?”

  He nodded. “I’d forgotten you two were engaged. So, you wanted to get married?”

  “I thought I did.”

  “And now?”

  Her eyes narrowed. What was he asking? “Do you mean, do I want to get married now?”

  “I’m curious,” he replied.

  She pursed her lips. “I don’t know. I almost got married back in Sydney, and now I can see that would’ve been a huge mistake. I don’t entirely trust myself, after that. And rushing into that kind of commitment… it’s not something I’ll take lightly. Especially after everything that’s happened with mum and dad.”

  Mick studied her, chewed his lower lip.

  Her heart thudded against her ribcage. She didn’t want to upset him, to push him away. But she wasn’t ready to commit her life to someone. Not yet. What if she lived to regret it for forty years the way mum had with dad? What then? She hated to think of herself wasting away in a loveless marriage for the best part of her life.

  “What about kids? Do you want kids?” he asked.

  She smiled. “Yes, I definitely want kids.”

  He grinned in response. “Me too.”

  That wasn’t something Sarah had to think about. It didn’t scare her the way intimacy did. She knew she wanted children, as many as she could manage. She loved kids, always had. She couldn’t wait until she was ready for a baby. Something about the idea of it lit her up inside.

  “What about you? Would you ever remarry?” she asked.

  Mick didn’t hesitate. “Yes, I would. I want to.”

  She loved the way he knew his own mind so well. Knew his desires, what he wanted from life. She was never as certain as him, always had doubts floating around inside her head.

  What if? What about? Maybe… might… possibly… could…

  She couldn’t stop the barrage of questions, concerns, worries, whenever she thought about things like getting married, raising a family, changing careers, starting over. It was almost paralysing, until she was thrown into those decisions by something as impulsive as quitting her job or leaving her fiancé.

  But seeing Mick’s resolve, his determination, and his love — bubbles of happiness welled inside her and drifted like balloons, growing as they rose.

  She smiled. “I’m glad you’re so certain about it, and I love that you’re willing to jump in again even after you were so badly hurt.”

  “Let’s get married,” he said, tracing a line down the side of her face with his fingertips.

  The look in his eyes woke a passion inside her that built and grew with heat as its fuel.

  She leaned forward, kissed his lips, revelling in their warmth, softness and the invitation that lay there.

  “I want to…” she said. “But I can’t make that decision yet. I’m still… it scares me. I’m sorry. I have to know I wouldn’t be making the same mistake as mum. She thought she knew… she loved dad and look what happened to them.”

  Mick inhaled a sharp breath, stood, and combed hands through his hair, standing the dark blond locks on end, as his gaze returned to the ocean. “Fine. I get it.” He spun on his heel to face her. “But just so you know — I’m not your father. I’m not like him, I wouldn’t do that to you. I thought you understood me better than that.”

  Chapter 26

  Diana

  The white walls of the Seaside Manor Bed and Breakfast rose majestic beside them. Diana lowered herself into one of the rocking chairs on the front porch, Ben sat beside her. His luggage waited near the front steps, a simple shoulder bag, nothing more. He hadn’t intended to stay in the Cove so long, but they’d been enjoying spending time together and now she was sad to see him leave.

  After all these years, she had a son. They’d taken beach walks together, visited the Murwillumbah Art Gallery with Rupert and sipped coffee while discussing which local artists they loved best. The three of them had shopped for things she and Rupert needed at their new home, things that fit snug into small spaces, since they’d had to leave so much behind at the Manor. Things that were too big for a retirement unit. And Ben’s help had been invaluable.

  She finally understood what it was like to have someone so much like her to spend time with — he looked like her, but also shared so many of her personality traits. And there were glimpses of Andrew in him as well. She’d been counselling herself not to push those away, but to embrace ev
ery part of her son — Andrew had helped bring him into the world and for that she’d be forever grateful, even if she did regret the hurt they’d caused, she couldn’t regret what’d happened now. Not since it’d brought her Ben.

  “Rupert wanted to come and say goodbye, but he wasn’t feeling well this morning,” she said.

  “I hope he’s not coming down with something,” replied Ben.

  She nodded. “It has been cold the past few nights.”

  “I’m glad I came,” he said.

  She smiled, reached for his hand, and squeezed it. “So am I. So glad.”

  “You’re not sorry?”

  “You can’t possibly know how much I’ve longed to know you. I only wish it’d happened sooner.”

  He beamed. “Good, so let’s stay in touch. Okay? And I’d love you to come up to Brisbane to meet my parents. They’re not very mobile these days, but I know they want to see you.”

  She was nervous to meet them, but knew it was important to him. What would they think of her? A woman who would give up her child? But she hadn’t been a woman, she’d been a girl. “Yes, I’d love to meet them. We’ll do that soon, perhaps when Rupert is feeling a little better… I hate to leave him alone for long these days and I’m not sure he’s up to the trip at the moment.”

  “Of course,” he replied, standing to his feet.

  They embraced, and she waved as he carried his luggage to the car and drove away. Her heart ached and tears lodged in her throat as his car disappeared around a curve in the road.

  How empty her days would be now that he was gone. She might go inside and see if Emily had time to share a pot of tea before she went home.

  Just as she was about to open the Manor’s front door, she noticed Cindy watering plants in her garden next door. She could see her over the fence from where she stood. Cindy had her back to Diana. If she was quiet, she might make it over there before Cindy saw her and had time to escape. Cindy had been avoiding Diana ever since their argument.

  She crept down the front steps, along the garden path that led to the street, then bent as low as she could manage to stay hidden by a hedgerow before turning into Cindy’s long, wide driveway. The drive curved towards the garage, with turning circle in front of the house. Cindy was watering the flowers that lined the circle.

  Diana hurried along the driveway, careful to keep her footsteps as light as she could — something that wasn’t so easy these days. She always intended to go on a diet, to lose some of the weight that’d gathered around her waist and thighs in recent years but could never manage to stay away from sweets long enough to do it.

  “Cindy Flannigan!” she called when she was close enough to do it without shouting. That was something her mother had taught her that she’d never managed to shake — a lady doesn’t shout. Even now, so many years later, she found herself holding in her voice until she was near enough to someone to use a ladylike voice. The ridiculousness of that gave Diana’s cheeks a flush of heat and put vigour into her final steps before she reached Cindy.

  Her friend turned, a look of surprise on her face that was quickly replaced by a stubborn anger.

  “Oh, it’s you. Go away, I would’ve thought by now you got the point — I don’t want to talk to you!”

  Cindy stormed towards the house, the watering can dangling from one hand and spilling water on the ground with each step she took.

  “You have to talk to me, we’re best friends,” cried Diana, trailing after her.

  “Not anymore, we’re not.”

  Diana stopped, pressed her hands to her hips. “That’s ridiculous, Cindy. We’ve been friends since we were girls, you can’t let something that happened more than forty years ago ruin that.”

  Cindy whirled about, her eyes flashing. “You let it ruin us! You did it. I can’t believe you’d do that — can’t believe you’d betray me that way. Andrew… yes of course. I’d believe it of him. He did it often enough to establish a pattern of behaviour, so we all expect it of him. But you?” Cindy’s voice broke. “I don’t want to talk to you right now, you really hurt me. I can’t help thinking that all these years, you were hiding that from me — you didn’t really love me the way I thought you did, the way I loved you. You were secretive, and betrayed me, and I don’t want to see you!”

  Cindy climbed the stairs in a rage and slammed the front door behind her.

  Diana watched her go, mouth agape, still puffing slightly from the efforts of hurrying up the long driveway. Grief welled up within her, and her eyes blurred with tears.

  She spun on her heel and returned the way she’d come, this time with dragging feet. She’d expected Cindy to be angry with her, but not this angry. It was so long ago, almost a lifetime. So much had happened in that time, and surely Cindy could understand that she’d been a silly, immature girl who hadn’t thought it through entirely. Surely.

  Well, she couldn’t stay angry at Diana forever. And Diana would simply have to think of some things that she could do to win her friend back. She’d start with baking, it’s where she always started whenever she had a problem to ponder over. And Cindy couldn’t resist Diana’s baking.

  She wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand and headed for her car, parked on the curb in front of the Manor. She climbed inside and sat in the driver’s seat a moment, gathering herself. She didn’t want Rupert to see her so upset, he’d want to know what’d happened and she had no desire to talk about it, to relive what her friend had said to her.

  When her phone rang in the purse on the passenger seat it startled her. Heart thudding, she dug through the black, leather bag to locate the phone and pressed it to her ear.

  “Hello, this is Di.”

  “Diana Jones?”

  “Yes, speaking…” Who was it? The screen had shown an unknown number, but the only people who ever called her on her mobile were Rupert, Emily, and Cindy.

  “Mrs Jones, this is Adam Brown from the Tweed Emergency Services. I’m calling to let you know that we have your husband en route to the hospital in an ambulance.”

  Diana’s heart leapt into her throat. “What? Rupert? What’s happened? Is he okay?”

  Her hands shook as she held the phone to her ear.

  “I’m afraid he’s in cardiac arrest, Mrs Jones.”

  “A heart attack?” Her head spun, and lights danced before her eyes. This couldn’t be happening.

  “Yes, that’s all I know for now. We’re expecting him to arrive at the Tweed Heads Emergency Department any minute now, if you’d like to head over there to meet him.”

  “Thank you, I will.”

  She hung up the phone and started the car, before screeching out onto the road. Usually she was acutely aware of keeping her speed to a minimum in neighbourhoods, but all she could think of was getting to Rupert before it was too late.

  When she pulled into the hospital parking lot, she felt numb. She hadn’t allowed herself to follow her initial train of thought into the realm of what could go wrong, what might happen, what if he died? She’d pulled herself out of that spiral of thinking halfway to Tweed Heads and instead, sat in silence merely looking ahead and going through the motions of driving. She had to believe her husband would get through this, that he’d be okay. She couldn’t imagine life any other way.

  Diana clutched her purse to her shoulder and bustled into the Emergency room, through wide, glass doors that swung open as she approached. She hurried by the rows of seats, dotted with people waiting and approached a reception counter, shielded by glass. She peered through an opening at a woman, typing on a computer, dressed in something resembling scrubs.

  “Excuse me?”

  The woman nodded, smiled. “Just one moment please…”

  “I’m in a hurry, my husband came in via ambulance… Rupert Jones…”

  The woman’s lips pursed. “Okay, let me see where he is.” She pressed a few keys on the keyboard and studied the monitor. “Yes, I see… he arrived about fifteen minutes ago via ambulance and
is currently in one of our rooms being treated by a doctor.”

  “Can I see him?” asked Diana, panic rising in her throat.

  “Come with me,” said the woman, compassion softening her face.

  She disappeared for a moment, then emerged through a nearby doorway and beckoned Diana to follow her. With her purse tight beneath one arm, Diana trundled after her with her legs tiring as the adrenaline in her system began to fade.

  They reached a room, sectioned off from several others by drawn curtains. Behind the curtains, voices murmured. The nurse she’d been following, she assumed the woman was a nurse, stepped behind the curtain and spoke with a man in a hushed voice. Then, the curtain drew back slightly, and he stepped out to see her.

  The doctor wore green blue scrubs with a face mask pulled down, hanging around his neck. His matching blue cap covered most of his greying hair, his eyes were brown and crinkled at the edges when he saw her.

  “Mrs Jones, come over here with me, let’s sit down and I’ll update you.” He took her by the elbow and led her over to a small room with chairs and a table inside. He shut the door behind them.

  She sat down, released her grip on the purse, feeling the blood drain from her face. “Where’s Rupert? Is he okay?”

  The doctor sat beside her. “Rupert’s heart attack was a severe one. The paramedics did everything they could for him. We tried to revive him when he arrived here at the hospital. But I’m sorry to say that Rupert died in the ambulance and we weren’t able to bring him back.”

  Diana’s world crumbled around her. Her mouth opened but she couldn’t speak. Instead, she heard a wail and wondered where it came from.

  “I’m so sorry, Mrs Jones. It happened quickly… if it’s any consolation to you, he didn’t suffer for long. From what I understand, he died soon after the paramedics arrived and got him into the ambulance. They did everything they could to revive him, and we picked it up when they got here, but we were unsuccessful.”

  Diana dropped her head into her hands, the tears hot and wet on her cheeks. She sobbed as a swell of grief crashed over her. She raised her head, her vision blurred with tears. “Did he say anything?”