Safe House

by Charley Descoteaux

  Kyle waited a few moments to be sure Bran had finished, then unlaced their fingers and wrapped his arms around him. Kyle’s heart ached for Bran that he’d had to witness such a thing, that he’d had to leave the scene convinced that he hadn’t been able to save them.

  “I’m glad you came to me.”

  Bran’s arms tightened around Kyle almost to the point of pain, and he buried his face in Kyle’s neck.

  “I don’t have any magic words that can erase those pictures from your mind. I wish I did, because it isn’t right you should have them. If there’s anything I can do, anything you need, please let me help you.”

  “Is it okay if I stay for a while?”

  “You can stay as long as you want to. I would be happy if you moved in here with me for the rest of the year.”

  Bran stilled. Mostly. Tremors still coursed through his body, but they weren’t as violent as they had been even moments before. “The rest of the year?”

  “Once I have my certificate, I’m moving out to the camp. So in about nine months.”

  Bran sagged against Kyle. He seemed to go limp with relief, if Kyle was interpreting his accompanying sigh correctly.

  “Don’t worry about anything. Relax, and when you’re ready to eat, I’ll go steal a gyro back from Chase—if he hasn’t eaten them all.”

  Kyle ended up not going on a gyro-retrieval mission after all. They ate lamb shawarma and salad with falafel, and it wasn’t long before Bran fell asleep. Kyle stayed with him for a little while but then got up to study. He was grateful his desk faced the window and not the bed, because having Bran there was distracting and he needed to get that certificate. Every time Kyle thought about living at the coast, spending his days making the guests at Buchanan House happy and his nights making Bran happy, it seemed too good to be true. Just like when he’d given up tech to cook. Maybe he enjoyed starting over as much as the massage therapy program itself.

  That doesn’t seem normal.

  Concentrate!

  It was past two before Kyle stripped down to his boxer briefs and joined Bran in bed. Bran kicked off a lot of heat, but he’d been wrecked earlier and Kyle didn’t want to push. They’d discussed things well enough back at the coast, but it wasn’t until that night that Kyle started to trust their attraction, to really believe it could grow into something beyond the physical. He curled around Bran, and just as he got comfortable, Bran grasped his hands and pressed them to his chest.

  “I missed you.” Kyle kissed the back of Bran’s neck and nuzzled his hair.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yes.”

  Bran turned around in Kyle’s arms and embraced him. The night was warm, but the condo’s eastern exposure kept them from having to run the AC unless the temps climbed into the upper nineties. “Listen to us.” Bran kissed Kyle’s forehead and pulled him closer. His goal might have been to joke, but his tone missed the mark a little.

  “I don’t expect you to just shrug it off. You don’t have to pretend for me.”

  “I don’t want to bring that kind of thing here, between us. I don’t want to put that on you.” Bran’s arms tightened around Kyle, and he shivered.

  “Then it’s a good thing you retired.” Kyle’s smile quickly turned into a grin. He felt lucky, as though the universe had given him this extraordinary man as a reward for…. He didn’t know what he could have done to deserve this chance, but he was determined to rise to the occasion. And he wasn’t the only one rising.

  Bran’s deep voice rumbled in Kyle’s ear as he made a sound of agreement. His hot hand slipped down Kyle’s back and teased at the waistband of his shorts, taking his time. A welcome change from the rushed style—if you could even call it a style—of almost all the other men he’d known, the way Bran touched him made Kyle feel savored, treasured. He had been studying for hours, though, so he also felt tired. They made love at a mellow, easy pace, but not tentative in the least. Kyle thought Bran might be treating himself carefully—like he would if he’d injured an arm or a leg working out—but he didn’t hold back his affections. Kyle fell asleep smiling, nestled in Bran’s strong embrace.

  Chapter Seventeen

  BRAN WOKE with a warm body in his arms, silky hair fanned over his shoulder and tickling his back. He’d dreamed of this every day for the past two weeks—falling asleep and waking up with Kyle. Not literally dreaming, more like daydreaming. Maybe it was fantasizing, but that didn’t sound right. Nothing wrong with a healthy fantasy life, but a dream sounded more like something a man could achieve, something that—once you had it in your life—might stay.

  Slowly, Kyle woke and snuggled against Bran. A small motion, but enough so he couldn’t ignore his physical response. Luckily, he wasn’t alone in that, and before long, a hope that Chase had his headphones on zipped through Bran’s mind.

  If I knew for sure he did, I’d encourage Kyle to keep up the dirty talk and raise the volume a bit.

  Bran was still panting when Kyle flopped onto the pillow beside him. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning.” Damn, he looks delicious, even first thing in the morning.

  “In a few minutes, I can run downstairs and grab you some fresh clothes from your car.”

  “Damn. I forgot to go back and get it.”

  “Your car?” Kyle turned onto his side and drew his hand across Bran’s chest, lightly tracing the outline of the place where pecs met delts and then curving around to the biceps. The expression on Kyle’s face spoke more to his feelings about Bran’s body than concern for… well, for anything beyond the bedroom. It amazed Bran. He’d thought he must have embellished or outright imagined how sexy he’d felt when Kyle looked at him or touched him. But if anything, he’d failed to fully appreciate the feeling.

  “Hmm, yes. It’s been a while since I came to Portland. I pulled into a garage to get my bearings.”

  “We almost never use the spaces that belong to the condo, so we can go get it. Sometime.”

  Kyle made breakfast, and it turned out they needn’t have worried about Chase hearing anything—he wasn’t there.

  It wasn’t long before they stood at the corner nearest the building, waiting for the light to change. Bran looked around and noticed they were the only ones waiting.

  “I’d forgotten about all the jaywalking.”

  “People jaywalk in Lincoln City.” Kyle sounded amused, more than the wattage of his smile suggested.

  “Not everyone. And not at every corner.” Bran felt Kyle’s attention on him and turned.

  “Nobody steals horses with you, do they?” Kyle winked. The light changed, so they started across.

  “I’m assuming that’s an expression.”

  Kyle laughed. Not his usual full-throated laugh that could’ve forced a stone statue to fight to keep a straight face—something much more subdued. “It is. But for the record, I’d rather rent a Zipcar.”

  They fell into a silence that wasn’t quite comfortable. At the next intersection, a Portland Police car sat halfway down the block, two officers standing beside it on the sidewalk. Bran noticed Kyle stopping short of the curb to wait for the light. He had also tensed quite a bit.

  A block and a half later, Bran asked if Kyle normally jaywalked.

  “Not always. I’m less inclined to when I’m by myself.”

  “Or when you see a patrol car nearby.” Bran studied Kyle’s reaction as best he could while walking. Kyle appeared to have done the emotional equivalent of circling the wagons. “Have you had more than the one incident?”

  Kyle had pulled ahead a few steps—energetic or anxious?—and waited at the next corner for Bran to pull even. After a moment he turned his body toward Bran. “Which garage?”

  “That way.” Bran gestured behind Kyle, and they turned together.

  “No. No more incidents. I try to be conscious of who’s around. It’s usually not an issue when I’m with Chase or Paulie and Nathan.”

  Bran wasn’t sure if he should push any further, so he decided not to. H
e’d invaded Kyle’s space earlier than expected, and even though he seemed happy about it, that didn’t give Bran permission to poke into every aspect of his life.

  The car was right where he’d left it, and even though Bran still didn’t feel 100 percent, he didn’t want to ask Kyle to drive. He did let Kyle guide him on the most direct route back to the building, mostly because the Focus was old enough that it hadn’t come with GPS. Kyle gave him the code for the keypad at the entrance, and a few moments later he pulled into the empty space.

  Bran turned off the engine and sat staring straight ahead until Kyle rested a hand on his arm. He didn’t turn to look until Kyle squeezed and pulled gently. “Don’t worry about it. Please.”

  “It makes me feel a little guilty. And I don’t know what to do with that.”

  “May I make a suggestion?”

  Bran nodded. “Please.”

  “Let it go. The only behavior you can control is your own, and I can’t see you putting much stock in profiling.”

  With a great effort, Bran pushed that guilt away—but it still hung around the outskirts of his mind. “Probably because I’m biased enough to think everyone needs to be arrested for something.” His grin must have looked as good as it felt, because Kyle laughed. For real.

  They took the stairs instead of the elevator, and Kyle warned Bran that he had a couple of hours’ worth of studying to do that day.

  “I should text Mom. After that, maybe I can find something to read. I used to read for pleasure but haven’t done it in a while.”

  “Minnie texts?”

  “She’s as fast as a teenager with her tiny fingers.” They shared a smile, and Kyle pushed the door open to let them out of the stairwell. “She loves tech and picks up a new gadget or program every few months or so. She’s the one the folks at the senior center go to first for troubleshooting.”

  Kyle had just asked about the last tech toy Minnie had bought when they entered the condo.

  Chase stood from his spot on the couch. “Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to dump Kyle last night.”

  “Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Chase.”

  “You did too, don’t deny it.”

  Bran turned to Kyle and raised an eyebrow. The way Kyle turned and sped into the kitchen said Chase was right.

  “So I went to visit Garrett on the job, to give you two a little privacy. Nobody likes an audience when they beg.” Chase grinned, but he was obviously relieved. “Are we still hitting the brew fest tonight?”

  Kyle offered Bran a bottle of water, and he drank deeply to keep from commenting on the whole “dumping” thing. “How’s Garrett?”

  Chase shrugged. “He’s Garrett. Says the job isn’t even half-finished.”

  “Let me get back to you about tonight. I have some studying to do, but I should be able to knock it out in time.” Kyle headed for his bedroom, and Bran followed.

  Before he could get far from the door, Bran took Kyle’s arm and stopped him. Kyle didn’t seem to want to turn and face him, but Bran applied gentle pressure until he did.

  “Why did you think I was going to dump you?”

  Kyle shrugged and used the motion to mask an attempt to free himself from Bran’s grasp. Bran was afraid he’d keep trying, and Bran would have to release him to keep from bruising his soft skin. “You showed up early, without even an overnight bag. And you just looked… well, now I know you weren’t ticked, but then I didn’t.”

  “You thought I was angry with you?”

  “I don’t know.” Kyle pulled his arm away again, and Bran let him go. “It just…. You didn’t look happy to be here, and the kiss didn’t resemble what I’d gotten out on the coast.”

  “I’m sorry.” He approached Kyle and rubbed his upper arms gently. “I didn’t realize how I must have sounded.”

  Kyle smiled and stepped closer. “Nothing to apologize for.” He combed his fingers through Bran’s hair and kissed him softly. It ended on a groan. “I really do have to study. I have an exam and a project due in two days.”

  “Should I come back in a few hours?”

  “You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to. I think I can concentrate even with you here.” Kyle’s expression looked wistful, and he ran a hand over the anterior head of Bran’s deltoid almost as though he were cataloging it.

  “And then we’ll catch dinner at the brew fest.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Bran stayed at the condo for almost two weeks, and they spent every moment together when Kyle wasn’t in class. He discovered that he enjoyed being a study aid for Kyle’s anatomy class almost as much as he looked forward to Kyle practicing massage techniques on him. For the first time in his life, Bran felt truly relaxed and happy, and he never wanted it to end. He knew he had to get back to Minnie and his monthly Little League meeting, but he wasn’t relishing the thought of spending a week without Kyle. Especially not the week leading to the follow-up appointment with his doctor.

  Chapter Eighteen

  KYLE ALMOST didn’t want to go to the coast, but his reasons were those of a five-year-old—if I don’t go, he can’t get to the doctor; if he can’t get to the doctor, he can’t get any bad news.

  Instead of a Zipcar, Kyle rented a BMW sedan for the drive—a car he could keep longer than seven days if the need arose. Bran wasn’t tall, but the man was gloriously built, and he didn’t deserve to be squeezed into a subcompact clown car. Kyle didn’t think he would complain—they could have taken Bran’s car, but Kyle wanted to drive him. Earlier in the year, when he’d gone for his physical therapy appointments, Kyle could have easily driven himself, especially after the first two weeks. But it felt good to have his friends drive him—it made him feel cared for and loved. That was the least he wanted Bran to feel.

  On the drive, Kyle had plenty of time to think about everything that had happened over the past six months—the setup and how it had gone so horribly wrong, and everything they’d gone through before it had turned out so fabulously right. Neither of them had actually come out and said the L word, but it was there in every touch and every look, in the way Bran made a special effort to be supportive of Chase. He’d had dinner at the Shimoda family home not once, but twice.

  If that’s not at least pre-love, the real thing would probably be more than I can handle.

  He also thought about how it could all be taken away. Bran seemed healthy—he seemed more than healthy—he was vibrant and more alive than most of the people Kyle had known in his life.

  Slightly biased, but I’m fine with that.

  But the news could still be bad. It was a simple fact of life that nothing was permanent, everyone had a finite amount of time allotted to them, and it could be over in the wink of an eye. He resolved to make the most of every moment he had with Bran, which made him roll his eyes at himself for even thinking it. Sure, that sounds great, but what does it really mean? It might mean going to appointments and sitting with Bran through chemo treatments and making sure he ate whenever he was able, and things Kyle couldn’t even begin to know. Or it could mean growing old and feeble together, finishing each other’s sentences and good-naturedly arguing about whether laws against jaywalking were just.

  Kyle’s phone pinged with the familiar tones that said he’d just received a text. He’d made it as far as the north end of Devil’s Lake, so he pulled off Highway 101 to see who it was from.

  I just pulled the cherry crisp out of the oven. Shake a leg if you want some, it’s Bran’s favorite. SYS.

  Kyle answered with Thanks, M. I’m only a few minutes out. SYS.

  He’d never thought he’d be texting shorthand to a boyfriend’s—a partner’s—mother, but Minnie had started the SYS, “see you soon,” with Bran, and she’d brought Kyle into that circle as soon as she got his number.

  Kyle might have broken a traffic law or two on his way up the hill, but if Bran suspected, he didn’t mention it. He was waiting on the porch when Kyle pulled up, and he met him at the driver�
��s door before the car had come to a full stop. They embraced in the driveway, and Bran’s fierce hug couldn’t mask the tremors coursing through his body.

  “Zipcar’s gone upscale?” Bran teased. His voice quavered the slightest bit, but Kyle ignored it.

  “It’s not a Zipcar.” Kyle kissed the side of Bran’s head and squeezed him tightly. “I’m driving you tomorrow, and you’re going to be comfortable.”

  Bran buried his face in the crook of Kyle’s neck. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then stepped back and leaned against the car. “You don’t have to do that. I mean, when you were going to PT—”

  “But I will just the same.”

  “Thank you.” Bran reached out, and Kyle took his hand and held it loosely. “I have to tell you something. I… maybe I should’ve said something sooner, but after last time, I had genetic testing done, and I have one of the genes that causes breast cancer.”

  “What exactly does that mean? I’m an engineer, not a doctor.” Kyle tried to smile, but he felt a little blindsided.

  “It might mean I have a higher chance to get cancer. Or it might not. They’re not 100 percent on that yet.”

  “Then why do it? I assume your doctor suggested it?”

  “Yes. I’m not sure. But I thought it was only fair to tell you.”

  Kyle squeezed his hand and felt an answering squeeze. “Okay. But you should know I don’t place much faith in ambiguous medical tests, on principle.” Somehow he managed to find the strength to grin and must not have done too badly, because Bran answered with one of his own. After a moment to will his stomach and heart to stop flopping around, Kyle asked, “Did you eat all the cherry crisp?”

  KYLE AND Bran and Minnie spent a companionable and yet tense afternoon in the little house on the hill. Bran asked Kyle out to dinner and suggested they take his car, but Kyle saw past his invitation to the fear beneath. For some reason he was worried about Bran bailing on the test the next day, so Kyle insisted on driving. Bran didn’t really seem the type to do anything that foolish, but Kyle had to admit he didn’t know him well enough to be sure. After dinner they spent the night at the safe house. The sheets were fresh, the refrigerator was well stocked for at least a couple of days, and not one speck of dust marred any of the windowsills.