by Ireland Gill
Luka and I returned back to the house after taking Joel and Evan to the airport, and he decided to take Beau out for a walk. I swear he was getting more attached to that dog than I was the second time around.
I sighed and took in the quiet that fell upon the house once again, somewhat sad and somewhat relieved. But it was also an unnerving feeling, knowing that I didn't have the distraction of Joel and Evan to get me out of awkward moments with Hayden since Halloween night. I knew I'd have to get it over with, that first alone-with-Hayden-after-I-attempted-to-kiss-him-but-failed-miserably moment.
I took a deep breath and ascended the stairs, passing by Hayden's room. I crept up to the door and leaned against the frame as I watched him fan and re-fan out the top sheet to his bed. The laundry basket was sitting next to him. I smiled, taking in the moment as the sunlight shined into the room and casted light around his shadow. He looked over at me and smiled in mid lift of the next attempt of getting the bed sheet over the mattress.
“Hey,” he said.
I walked into the room. “Hey.”
“Send the boys off?” he asked, shaking the sheet out again.
I nodded. “Yup.”
He studied me for a moment before lifting the sheet again. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I'm good,” I said nonchalantly. “Need some help there?”
“Nah, I got it.” He shook the sheet out again and it floated further to the right this time. “Dammit,” he muttered.
I rolled my eyes as I saw him lift that damned sheet into the air again and jumped up onto the head of the bed to grab the other end before he tried fluffing it a fiftieth time.
I chuckled. “I thought you were good at everything,” I teased.
“Ha!” he guffawed. “So did I.”
I shook my head at him and laughed as I placed my end of the sheet down and smoothed it out evenly over the corners of the mattress, giving him a smug look.
He tossed the second sheet up into the air and I caught my end, but I was awestruck by the particles floating in the air and smiled at the memory of which I was reminded.
“My mom always used to tell me that the fuzzies in the air were angel dust,” I recalled. “She said the angels would come down and sprinkle your laundry to give you good dreams.” I breathed a laugh at the thought, shaking my head.
“You believed her for a long time,” Hayden added. It didn't surprise me that he had a comment. There were hardly any memories I had that he hadn't already witnessed. “Even after the whole Santa Claus thing,” he added.
We placed the down comforter over the top of the bed and threw the pillows up toward the headboard.
I looked at him and shrugged. “I never really had the bad dreams to ever prove her wrong.”
He looked over at me with a solemn expression. But, as if he were editing words in his head and deciding not to say them, he looked down at the bed and put his hands in his pockets. “Thanks,” he said with a simper, nodding at the bed.
“No problem.” I walked over to the empty laundry basket and picked it up. I grunted inside my head. I wanted to say something else. Anything. “You know,” I turned around with the basket on my hip, “maybe she was right.”
“About what?”
“Angel dust,” I answered. It may have sounded strange, but I knew that he would understand what I meant; my subtle way of telling him that I was okay.
He studied me for a moment, then finally grinned. “Maybe,” he humored me.
I carried the hamper and a coy smile with me as I walked out of the room.
10
The World is Darkest at Midnight
Another dream. A new feeling of tranquility. Sleep had become my sanctuary, a way to escape my new reality, and as far as I knew, Hayden had kept his promise of leaving my dreams private. That fact alone was another reason to love him even more than I thought was possible. We'd finally had an understanding, he and I. That felt good.It was the end of the second week with the dreamcatcher when the dream occurred. I'd had the pleasant dreams, as expected. Some consisted of my mother, Joel, Ms. Makerov, other acquaintances throughout my life that my mind had chosen to remember for some reason, and even some floating moments of Hayden that I was easily able to distinguish as indelible memories. But this one night, this one dream, a new presence became apparent. It was the dream in which I'd lost control again, unable to place myself where I wanted to be.
I'd been playing the piano alongside my mother when the scenery had changed. I was standing on the shore, barefoot in the sand. I felt the wind lightly graze my skin and I looked down. I was wearing a light gray, cotton sun dress with some tiny, purple flowers embroidered around the waist line. In reality, it was a dress I'd shoved to the back of the closet and hardly ever wore unless there was an occasion that called for it. I looked up again, recognizing my surroundings as the beach closest to my home, and was going to shrug it off until I saw a figure walking toward me from only a few yards away. It wasn't someone I knew, but something inside of me told me I should.
A black dress shirt, completely unbuttoned and draped over his perfect chest muscles as he walked toward me with a swagger, his hands in the pockets of his loose-fitted khakis. The sunset highlighted his mocha skin and hairless head with a golden tint. I felt myself staring, taking in this new character. My first instinct told me that, due to his beauty he had to be an angel, one I hadn't met yet. It was during that thought that his grin grew from ear to ear, revealing his flawless, white teeth. It was a winning smile that only an angel could have possessed. I was sure of it.
He finally strolled up to me, putting his swaggering to a stop. I gazed at the man's handsome, ageless face and into his eyes. They were like the guilty gray that painted the sky after a devastating storm, the aftermath of destruction, defeat that followed a perilous battle. They were mysterious, with a slight sparkle I hadn't missed, an assurance to me that I had nothing to fear.
I giggled lightly in his presence, an uncontrollable release on my behalf. “Hello,” I simply said smiling with embarrassment.
He nodded once, holding his grin. “Good evening,” his liquid voice said as he lifted my hand gently to his warm lips to give it a tender kiss. He returned it to me so delicately. A gentleman, to say the least.
“Do I know you?” I inquired.
“I'm afraid that you do not, my dear, at least, not in this manner,” he said disappointedly. “But,” he perked, “I'm quite sure that you will....in due time.”
I looked at him curiously, slightly baffled that his identity was to remain a mystery, but it was an impossibility to argue with him – a skill of mine that was most prominent and I couldn't even bring myself to do it.
I heard an acoustic guitar echoing throughout the atmosphere, a hazy sound with no origin, but clear enough that I could recall the familiarity of the song titled “A Stranger.” Then his hand reached out for mine.
“May I ask you to dance, fair one?” His alluring grin held my gaze and my hand floated up to his involuntarily as I placed the other on his broad shoulder. He was warm to the touch. He placed his other arm around me, lightly pressing against the small of my back and pulling me toward him, but not too close.
I did as my body wanted and felt my feet step in time along with his. The sand under our feet became a small, wooden, dance floor, big enough only for us. The sun was still setting upon us and, in that moment when the words to the song were sung, I felt as if we were the only two left on the entire planet. An isolation of two strangers, together. And yet still, I felt no fear.
Our steps were slow, but even if they were faster, my feet surely would have been able to keep up. My body moved without my knowing. I put no thought to the motions as I stared into his eyes, thousands of questions pinging against the walls of my mind, aching to be asked.
The handsome stranger lifted my arm into the air with such grace, beckoning my body to twirl on its feet. And I twirled. My light dress flowed along with the turn and we were back in our original position
, his hand on my back once again, pulling me closer. I didn't retreat. I let it happen, still captivated by this stranger of my dreams.
I felt an urge trembling inside of me, an eagerness, the one that I'd had to hush lately. I didn't know what was going on with me and I was afraid to ask questions and was especially too afraid to know the true answers to them. What was it about this stranger that was doing this to me?
His expression was undaunted and he held me with such confidence, which also showed in his stature. His stare into my eyes was penetrating, and it was then that I started to falter. I begged my eyes to turn away from him, and they finally relented, looking down at the sand around the shiny floor upon which we were dancing.
I froze, hitching my breath and locking my eyes on them, the shadows. Our shadows. I felt my stomach drop at the sight. They were dancing together, but they were not alike. His body casted something of another world on the sand. I traced the outline of the shadow with my eyes; first, the large wings that spread from its back, and then to the head that towered over mine, an inhuman silhouette. He was not from my world, nor was he the angel I so ignorantly mistook him for.
The music continued to play, but was drawing to a close as I slowly leveled my eyes with his once again. “Who are you?” I demanded, pushing against his chest in a panic. I gulped as my heart sped, searching deep in his eyes for an answer.
He stopped swaying and curled his lips into a wicked grin, lifting his smooth hand to my cheek; this time his touch was as hot as sunbathed asphalt, yet cold as ice. I couldn't decipher which I was experiencing.
“This, somehow, gives new meaning to the phrase 'dancing with the devil,' does it not?” He asked.
I sucked air, backing away from his touch. Alysto! I screamed in my head. That's when the sun was gone and the night had come. He'd disappeared. It was black all around me, and the silence was deafening, frightening. My heart sped, and my body's trembling began.
“Is it not true that you know yourself better in the darkness?” his liquid voice asked all around me.
I stood rigid, not knowing where to turn, but I was able to answer. “No,” I shook my head. “I'm lost in the darkness.”
“Oh, but I disagree, Fortis, Brave One. For, in darkness, you are home.”
My breath hitched again at his words. I couldn't breath, and I was afraid to even twitch. I wanted to wake up. This place was not becoming what was promised, my dream world had been infiltrated by an intruder. I had to wake up.
I looked around and into the black of night, took a deep breath and shut my eyes. I listened to my surroundings and heard only the wind softly blowing and heard what sounded like tall palm leaves and a creaking porch swing. I felt no change, but when I opened my eyes, the scene had become something else, entirely. I was in the yard behind the house. This time, it felt more real. It felt like that place between asleep and awake. I kept telling myself to run home, but my body was disobedient.
I felt a rumbling under my feet and the speeding increase of my heart. I wasn't alone, there was a presence unseen, but felt amidst the fusing heat that changed the air. A figure start forming in front of me in the tree line. I blinked hard and tried to keep an expressionless face. I didn't want it to know I was afraid, whatever it was. I didn't want it to feel the fear radiating from me.
But what I saw next was hard to fathom. Walking slowly toward me out of the night was a tall dark creature, much more majestic than the ones I'd encountered before. His wings were magnificent, putting a Drone's wings to shame. They spread out endlessly, filtering my view of the full moon light. The eyes of an ancient soul, that soft gray once again, this time like the calming clouds that would threaten an overcast, the kind under which I felt most content. It was hard to let my eyes wander to the rest of his features, but he stood close to seven feet tall with a gargoyle-like shape for his body. His dark gray skin was smooth, and every muscle on his chest and in his arms and legs was defined, in perfect proportion. I took in the gracefulness of his body movements. It was as if he were dancing slowly, so as not to make a wrong move that would startle me. In a sense, he was the beauty of the darkness.
“Alysto,” I gasped his name in disbelief.
He bowed his head slightly, giving me confirmation. “Yes, Brave One,” his seductive voice whispered down to me. “We finally meet.” I was even more mesmerized by him after he spoke to me again. He seemed to have the same respectable disposition he'd had in his previous form on the beach.
I hardly knew what to say next. I went blank. “Is-is this your true form?” I stuttered.
He gracefully lowered his back end to the ground and sat rigid with his shoulders squared and his head cocked. “It is,” he answered wryly. “However, you seem to have the ability to see my less monstrous appearance, what I used to be. This is apparent.”
I swallowed hard. “You did not will yourself to appear that way?” I asked.
He shook his head slowly. “I did not. For, this is the form in which all perceive me, what I have become.”
A chill crept down my spine. “And is this still a dream?” I asked.
His deep laugh was patronizing, “It is now very much reality, Brave One.”
I froze, unable to look at anything but his dark eyes until I was finally able to curl my bare toes, feeling the ground beneath. The wet grass was cold and soft under my feet.
“Hmm. Dreams,” he said distantly. “Any good slumber is a rarity on my list of activities. I am sure you can find relation to this statement, yes?” His mannerisms were that of a cat giving into its curiosity.
I looked deeper into his dark eyes and focused on the tiny sparkle I'd caught in them earlier, hoping that this meeting was meant to be non-threatening. “Yes,” I nodded slowly. “I, too, do not see much sleep anymore.” I assessed his expression minutely, so eager to know why we were meeting. I forced myself to ask the question. “Alysto, why did you call upon me?”
His eyes narrowed. “Call to you?” His brow cocked as he lowered his head to mine. “Fortis, I've only answered to the your call upon me. Perhaps, a particular instrument has been beneficial in this matter?”
I looked at him curiously. “Instrument?” I inquired. I thought for a moment, but it didn't take me long to figure it out. “The dreamcatcher,” I breathed out in awe. He gave me an expression of satisfaction which gave me my answer. The giant angel came to mind, and I cringed. “Jericho,” I whispered, narrowing my eyes and flexing my jaw. I knew there was a reason that angel left a bad taste in my mouth. “He did this? Why?”
“Let us not cast blame just yet, Warrior. You've taken just as much a part in this encounter as my ally.” He let out a musing sigh. “There are many riddles in life that will never be understood, Brave One. But know this; that which is dark is not always evil. And that which is light is not always good.”
“But I don't understand. It was you who brought me here,” I retorted.
“Was it?” he asked. His eyes lowered to my chest and he slowly rose one of his massive claws, touching it tenderly against my heart. “I believe your heart is following a different path, Fortis. It knows what it wants.”
I shook my head, not wanting to believe him. “No.”
“Then let us explore other theories, shall we?” he laced his long claws together and looked up in thought. “Do you not think it plausible that not only has your God abandoned you but that you have abandoned your faith in God?”
He was right. I'd lost faith years ago, all three of them if you wanted to get technical. I stopped trying to follow any sort of path or faith, but I didn't want to agree with him. I shook my head violently this time. “I don't want to believe that,” I said unconvincingly.
“No?” he asked in a patronizing tone. “But deep down, and more recently I might add, your heart feels it. Does it not?”
I was afraid then. A new fear swept over me, and I'm sure that it emanated from me. Was he right? Oh, God, he was. I'd felt so many strange emotions after leading this new life and they
were all dark, wrong. What if my heart really was trying to tell me something?
He continued.“Perhaps there is a reason that one of my children saw something in you that night not too long ago? He saw something different in you, Fortis, something of which could never be found in the others.”
I stiffened as he rose to pace around me, circling the ground on which I stood. He was waiting for an answer.I continued to argue.
“The only reason I would call to you would be in the hopes that I may better understand your reign over the Seekers, perhaps ask a request of you, to discontinue this imbalance and to reign over them as you were meant to. My destiny is to fight against you, but I don't want to if there is chance that you may have reason in you.” I started to falter again, fumbling over my choice of words. “Th-that would be the only reason my heart would have had any desire to call to you.”
“I see.” He stopped pacing and planted himself in front of me, lifting his head. His eyes widened with enthusiasm. “That is a reasonable theory, Brave One. However, I hope you do not take offense to my lack of motivation in making any attempt at changing this imbalance, as you call it,” he huffed with a small laugh, then slowly took in his wings and laid them into his body. His movements were soundless.. He studied me for a few seconds. “Optime,” he said to himself. “Although....,” he looked at me with his alluring eyes, “Be honest with me, Brave One. Do you see a light within them? When you save these wicked souls, do you truly find even the slightest bit of compassion within yourself to know you are really doing the right thing? I do find it intriguing that you would determine that your heart's desire to beg me to let these souls all move on is your only reason for calling to me.”
I looked at him, confused. “Intrigued? Why is that? And why am I, what you call, Brave One?”
“Do you not know the history of the Soldiers of the past, before your time? Not one has called my name in good standing.” He watched me, waiting for an answer.
