by Ireland Gill
“I wasn't told much about you,” I answered honestly.
“Then, I believe that your Guardian has much on which to educate you,” he said facetiously.
“Then it was due to fear? No one called to you due to fear?”
He shook his head slowly. “It was not fear of me that kept them from calling my name. It was, and is always, fear of Him.” I thought about this statement, and it confused me even more. He continued. “You are the Brave One, as you may still fear me, but you do not fear changing the rules of this destiny, nor do you fear trying to alter the inevitability of your own fate in order to change the fate of others.”
How could he even know these things? How was it possible? I searched his eyes with curiosity. Something told me there was more to this creature than just an evil darkness. I wanted to believe this so much. “Am I wrong to think that I am capable of such a thing?” I started pacing slowly as I spoke, never taking my eyes from his, but trembling all the while.
His head cocked, and as his brow furrowed as he lowered his neck, bringing himself closer to me. This kept me from pacing and I froze. “You are wrong to think I am capable of such a thing, Fortis.” I stared at him with wide eyes and let him continue. His expression softened, which put me a little more at ease. “For, you must see something in me that the others never had?”
I thought for a moment, trying to examine my intuition, how my heart really felt about the devil. Finally, I felt myself slowly nodding. “Y-Yes. I feel this. I feel you must have some reason in you. Even an ounce of goodness inside you could make that possible. You were once full of light. That's the story I was told. You must still have some of that left, even after all this time.” My heart had hoped with all its might that I was right. I wanted to crack him somehow, to get him to search inside himself to find that bit of light that I could see in him.
“Ah yes, the unavailing gift you possess, this ability to find the good in others.” He rose a hand to his chin and started rubbing it as if he were pondering. “Can you honestly see a light within me?” His tone seemed condescending again.
“You're mocking me,” I stated disappointedly.
He crouched on all fours to my level again. “It is only my curiosity, Fortis.”
I nodded. “Yes, Alysto. I believe there is goodness and light in everything. Even in you. Some just get taken by the darkness. They let it embrace them and they lose themselves.”
He let out a booming laugh. “Indeed. But it is quite needless to say that the darkness always wins. Yes?”
I shook my head. “No.” I started pacing again while staring into his eyes. “The darkness doesn't always win. I know this.”
He gave me an incredulous stare. “I find it amusing that you preach this to me, that all can overcome the darkness, yet it is you who forces yourself to release the Seekers from their doom and all the while you do not see that light within them. And you never have, not once.” His stare was penetrating once again. “You struggle with this....because you can actually see what they've done to be placed in my realm.”
My stomach dropped again. How could he know these things? I was an idiot to think I could keep my feelings from him. He seemed to know it all.
“There must be a light within them if the Creator has chosen them to move on,” I argued as I lowered my head, becoming discomposed, “even if I do not.”
“So, you do admit that you must battle with yourself to save them? Am I correct?”
I became agitated. “It's not my choice.” I raised my voice and looked him in the eyes again. “God has mercy, something of which I never had, and something of which you've lost entirely.”
“Wrong!” he seethed through his teeth, furrowing his brow. I jumped at the boom of his voice. “Remember this, Fortis, and heed my words. I am no different from the Creator.” His face came closer to mine. I shivered. “If your God is so merciful, why it is that I even exist? Hmm?”
I couldn't help my short breaths, scared out of my mind. Alysto softened his expression, as if he felt regret in instilling me with the fear he could so easily raise in me. He looked at me with solemn eyes, and then as they narrowed. “And this tenebrae, this darkness within you? The darkness of which you have been repressing for a while now, will you have the strength in order not to let it destroy you?”
I froze again, realizing what he was referring to, the part of me that I feared. The part of me that I kept to myself. Alysto seemed to be the only one who could see it. I battled with myself, trying to tell myself that he was only using these things to make me waiver, to break me down. But I had no words for him. At that point, his uncanny knowledge about me was disconcerting and I felt sick to my stomach.
He let out a dramatic sigh. “It must be so frustrating, knowing that you are unable to avenge your mother now, is it not?” he asked me blithely.
I found my voice again as the subject sparked a new emotion. “What are you talking about?”
His smug look pierced my heart, as if he were proud that it was so easy to get to me. “Why, Mr. Carter is with me now, Brave One. And he will be for a very, very long time.” My face must have turned ashen. He smirked at me, realizing I'd understood. “Is it possible, Fortis, that you come to me with an agenda that is only to mask the real reason you are here before me right now? Is it possible that this impressive dichotomy of which you've controlled in yourself has finally started to unravel?” His face moved slowly toward mine, and I could feel the heat of his breath in my hair. I did not dare look up, but trembled in my stance. “Tenebrae,” he said as the back of his hand rose to softly graze my cheek. The heat was simultaneously icy and stifling as he touched me, but the pain I anticipated did not exist. “Is it possible,” he purred, “that the reason you called to me tonight is because you feel the pull of that darkness within you?”
I panicked inside. Was this a trick? Was this really just a trap that I'd set up on my own in order to give in to him? What the hell was my heart doing to me that I didn't know about? Was my curiosity going to be the reason that this entire legend would fail?
I was breathing heavily, but composed myself before I spoke. “No,” I shook my head as I looked up into his eyes once again. “If my heart's agenda was to meet you, then I've come to you in order to plead with you to let go of the Seekers that are supposed to move on as they were meant to move on.” I gained some of myself back and tried to regroup my confidence. “Alysto, I plead with you to reign the underworld the way you were meant to reign it. I want that balance back for all of mankind and for all of the lost souls, but most of all, for me.”
He looked at me inquisitively, then smiled wryly. “You do see the things they've done. I was told this.”
“By a traitor to the Council!” I said angrily.
“And a rogue angel I no longer need,” he added.
I ignored his remark. “If you do possess that light I see in you, then you will, at the very least, think about my request. We can achieve balance again as long as you agree to it, or else I'll just have to save a thousand times more Seekers than any Warrior before me.”
He spoke through his teeth, frustrated, whispering into my ear. “What is it that makes you think any of them are even worth saving at all? You see the evil they've done. When you save them and you die for them, do you even shed an ounce of empathy after witnessing the horrid mess they've created for themselves and for others in your world? How is it that you would even come here in hopes to save those miserable mutants from the hell that they deserve?”
His discomposure was surely apparent then, and I could see that this subject had angered him, but I had to save myself. I wanted to say it aloud, not only for him, but for myself to hear. I needed to know I was there for the right reason, even though I had no recollection of calling to him. “Because that was the balance that was created and meant to be followed. You chose to break the balance in order to gain more power. All the Seekers who have served their time with you have been with you long enough. It is time to let them go
.”
He pulled himself away and sat rigidly again on his hind legs, huffing, his wings loosening. He was smirking at me again. “Why do you think it is, Brave One, that I gain more power from keeping them imprisoned with me?”
I shook my head and shrugged. “I don't know.”
“Oh, come now,” he said. “It is because the darkness within them has never subsided. I was meant to hold onto them and call them forth on their judgment day, and to release them to the Creator's World of Light. I, like you, still see a part of them that others do not, but I see that darkness is still within them. But even they do not see it, or feel it. I ask that you remit me for my paltering, but you must see that I have good reason of my own to deny you of your request. There will be no relinquishment of the reign that I have over these wicked wanderers.”
Like you. The words sounded over and over inside my head. I was nothing like him. He was supposed to be the epitome of the evil I was to rise against and overcome, and he had the audacity to claim we were anything alike? I felt angry about what he'd said, but I wasn't sure if I was more perturbed that he would voice such a falsehood or if I had been angry with myself at the thought that he may be right, that we were alike in some way. Could this be? Our gifts in seeing a concealed truth in other beings, was it possible that we shared the same gift? I decided to argue.
“We are nothing alike,” I said to him sternly as I tried to convince myself.
He narrowed his eyes, searching mine once again. “We are more alike than you wish to realize, Brave One. I only need to wait for your surrender to the calling. For, you cannot escape who you are or what you were meant to be.” We stared into each other's eyes with intensity, and then he spoke again. “I do wish that you could see this my way.” He sighed. “Nonetheless, we must continue with this balance.” He rose above me and stood tall, unfurling his wings and raising his head high above me. “As I have once said, your Guardian has much on which to educate you.” His smile grew wider. “And I do admit that even I feel rather anxious to know when certain things have come to light for you, Fortis.”
I searched his dark eyes curiously. “Certain things?”
“Oh,” the beast's eyes narrowed, and his lips curled into a wry smile, “there is much to be revealed to you, fair one.” His head jerked away. “But you will find out in due time.”
I swallowed hard, afraid to ask for specifics, and afraid to move, mesmerized by this creature.
“I do hope that you've been enjoying my gift to you,” he said.
“G-gift to me?” I was confused. “What is that?”
“My children have been ordered not to harm you for the time being. I'm sure you've noticed things have been much...quieter since the last attack, yes?”
Favors again. I was getting them from every direction. “Yes, my Guardian has been worried about this.”
“Ha,” he guffawed. “There is no need to worry right now, Fortis. Things will be as they are meant to soon enough.” He narrowed his eyes. “But I do suggest that you keep this encounter between us, as I am sure it would be devastating for you to witness the terrible things that I could inflict upon him, should your Guardian get involved,” he threatened. I narrowed my eyes, feeling protective and helpless. He seemed pleased that his threat bothered me, and then continued. “After all,” he continued, “it was your invite tonight. That fact alone would be something he could never bear to hear.” Guilt pierced my heart at his words. “You and your Guardian have your faith and I, of course, have my own. I've had centuries to acquire the virtue of patience, something of which you do not have.” He laughed lightly and continued. “I do not need to use force on you, Brave One, as I know if I wait long enough, you will surrender. Until then, I bid you adieu and shall gravel in my acquired virtue. Time is always on my side, unlike yours,” he teased as he inched himself closer, towering over me. My eyes met his chest and I could feel his hot breath fall over me. “Unless of course, you should choose to surrender to my world now, to surrender to that darkness I see that you have within you?”
His taunting angered me, and despite his efforts to be civil, I felt a rage that took me over. I pushed against his chest to move him away, my right wrist pressing hard against his heart. A singing pain burned within my wrist as it touched his skin, and I heard him bellow a loud roar, backing away from me holding his chest, panting. I looked down at my burning wrist and saw that my birthmark had become darker as it throbbed. I held it against me to try to get the pain to go away as I looked back at Alysto. He was observing the mark left over his skin, the mirror image of my negative zero. It was a frightening site. Backwards. I gasped.
“So,” he said between his panting breaths, “it is not the Devil that marks the astray child, but the astray child that marks the Devil.” He looked at me in amazement for a moment, then curled his mouth into a smirk, caressing the new scar over his heart. “Such a team we would make, Fortis.”
I stared deep into his dark, ancient eyes. “Never,” I said, still holding my throbbing wrist.
“Numquam?” his thick brow rose. “Very well then.” He bowed his head to me in a gentleman-like fashion. “Although, I'm not entirely convinced that you'll be able to keep that promise to yourself.” He laughed again. “Bona fortuna, Fortis, dum conaris retinere lucem tecum.” He flashed me a devious smile, then he slowly backed away into the tree line. I was still frowning at him as he prepared to leave. “Vale, Brave One.” And then he was out of sight, darting off into the air with bullet speed. He may as well have just disappeared.
I was left alone in a heavy silence. The night around me felt cold and unwelcoming. The pale moon light brought me back to reality as I let my eyes get used to the darkness again. I concentrated on the ground below me, digging my toes into the grass. It all felt so real, and it was, just like the sick feeling in my stomach. It hadn't been a dream. I checked my surroundings once again and found the direction to run back to the house.
It was unexplainable. What was to become of this? Why would he want me in his world? I found the good in people. Tried to anyway.
I thought about the possibility of how much power he could be acquiring through keeping the lost souls within his realm. He was the Keeper of the Wicked, but somehow turned into this monster. I couldn't help thinking there was still a chance to reason with him, though. Something had to be enough to make him give in to my request, I just didn't know what.
I tiptoed back into the house, checking the clock.
It was a little past midnight.
I looked down at my soiled feet and gasped, mechanically walking to the bathroom. I needed a shower to clear my head and to cleanse myself entirely. It was too bad that the water couldn't erase that night's events. I couldn't fall back to sleep that night thinking about the intense visit with Alysto. It bothered me that he said he found a darkness inside of me. Had I not felt it myself recently, I would have thought it a trick on his part to throw me off course, so-to-speak. But I did feel it, I was trying to repress it. What did that mean?
As I thought about all of these things, heading back upstairs to my room, I saw my journal laying open on the bed. I grabbed the book and read the page to which it was opened. Something told me I'd already written about that encounter with the devil, but I had no recollection of it. The entry was undated.
Crash, Burn and Crumble
When we collapse
Adapt to the waiting
Crash, Burn and Crumble
We'll all stop breathing
The dreams I dream
The dreams I seek
Will make me fall
Will make me weak
Deep in your thoughts
Deep in your wake
I will take your place
For everyone's sake
Lost once again
Cannot be found
Taste nothing but fear
Hear only one sound
The last beats of my heart
Which split in two
As I end this
life
That I once knew
I gasped after reading it. I stood from the bed, shaking as I read the poem over and over again, each time a little less cryptic. I paced the room, calculating what I was going to do next. I threw the journal into my nightstand drawer and pulled out my ash tray, staring at it, wondering if I really wanted to do what I was thinking I had to do. My eyes averted to the ornament above my bed, the one thing that was supposed to give me peace at night.
Alysto could threaten me all he wanted, but I wasn't going to give in. I would never let him or his pathetic, angel-ally bring me down, nor would I ever let them touch my angel. I felt fierce and protective as I ripped the dreamcatcher off of the nail in the wall and tossed it into the ashtray. A blast of thunder and pelting rain solidified that I was furious. If destroying the dreamcatcher was the one thing I had in my power to keep Alysto away, then I would do it, even if that meant sacrificing my nightly bliss. The responsibility was clear.
I turned out my light and lit the match, watching it burn for a few seconds before tossing it into the ashtray. The dreamcatcher caught flame in record time and singed into nothing but ash after a few minutes. I lay in my bed, staring at the flame until it went out completely and listened to the rain outside while I fantasized that Jericho could feel his wings burn.
It was dark then.
I sat motionless, reluctant. Any move I made, it all led to Hayden. I wanted to be near him. I needed to be with him. I finally walked down the hall to his room, and a new shiver sent itself up my spine, setting my feet at an urgent pace. I couldn't get to him quickly enough.
I stood in the light of the doorway, listening to the light rainfall and focused on his face as he slept so peacefully in the bed, the moonlight glazing his face with a soft, pale blue. As if something woke him, his eyes fluttered open and he looked at me, startling me instantly.
“Evika?” he said sleepily as he sat up. “Are you okay?”
At first, I couldn't move or speak when he asked me. I just shivered, holding my arms across my body. Finally, I found my voice, ready to answer. “I....I get it now.”
