Strange Cosmology

by Alex Raizman

  Like that’s new. Ryan had often posted things to social media that had her concerned: depressing song lyrics, memes about depression and anxiety. But now she wasn’t worried about how he was doing, but about the people that were trying to kill him...and if they’d come for her.

  Jacqueline turned back to her book, trying to push thoughts of Ryan out of her mind. I am going to enjoy the rest of my morning and my goddamn coffee, thank you very much.

  “Excuse me.”

  Jacqueline looked up to see a petite Asian woman standing beside her table.

  “I’m sorry to bother you, but it’s very crowded. Would you mind if I shared your table?”

  Jacqueline did mind, a little, but not enough to say no. “Go right ahead.”

  “Thank you.” The woman sat down and extended a hand. “My name is Dianmu.”

  “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jacqueline.”

  “A pleasure. Well, I won’t disturb your reading.”

  Dianmu turned her attention to her phone, and Jacqueline returned to her book.

  A few minutes later, Jacqueline’s phone rang. She answered absently. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Jacqueline. It’s Ryan. Listen, Dianmu’s a friend, but she’s never been seen with me, so you’re safe. I have another friend watching the guys watching you, and he’ll signal Dianmu if they get too close. Right now they can’t overhear, so you can talk safely. I don’t know if your phone is tapped, but this isn’t your phone, so we’re good.”

  The rush of words set Jacqueline’s head spinning. “Wait, what? Ryan? What do you mean this isn’t my phone?”

  “I switched them when you weren’t looking,” Dianmu said helpfully. “It looks just like yours, so the spooks won’t be suspicious.”

  “What spooks?” Jacqueline asked.

  “The ones watching you,” Ryan replied. “Sorry to have to break it to you, but you’re under surveillance.” A pause. “That’s my fault. Sorry. And don’t look for them. It’ll be suspicious.”

  Jacqueline had been about to do just that, but she forced herself to keep her eyes forward. Dianmu gave her an encouraging smile.

  “Ryan,” Jacqueline said, “what the fuck is going on here?”

  “Did you happen to see the news about the government attacking an apartment building in California?”

  “Of course I did. The President said you were there and had attacked civilians.”

  “Partly true. I was there, but they attacked me. That was Isabel’s place, and I was visiting her. They were watching her, the same way they’re watching you, and probably anyone else they think there’s a chance I’ll contact.”

  “Oh my God. Is Isabel okay? She didn’t get hurt, did she?”

  “No, she’s fine. I got beat up pretty bad, but Crystal got her out safely.”

  “Hold on,” Jacqueline said. She hit mute on the phone-which really was exactly like hers, including the scuffed Starry Night case-and looked at the woman across from her. “Tell me who you are and what you’re doing here.”

  Dianmu took a sip of her drink. “Again, my name is Dianmu. I am a storm goddess, and I am allied with your former boyfriend, who we hope you still count as a friend. I am here to facilitate a private conversation with Ryan, and, along with another associate, ensure your safety.”

  Jacqueline frowned. That matched what Ryan had said. She hadn’t precisely doubted Ryan’s word, but she didn’t really know him anymore, and the recent news about him had been...disturbing.

  “He sounds weird,” she blurted.

  Dianmu laughed. “He’s very nervous about this conversation, and probably trying very hard to hide it.”

  Jacqueline took the phone off of mute. “All right, Ryan. Tell me what’s going on.”

  “Well, I mean, nothing too crazy. I’ve been practicing my cooking, thinking about picking up DnD with a new group, and I kind of found a pocket universe that gives me crazy powers and now I’m desperately trying not to get killed by the U.S. government.”

  “Oh, is that all?” Jacqueline snapped. She was scared to death, and he was making jokes.

  “No, that’s not all. I also bought a new set of knives.”

  “Knives,” Jacqueline said, flatly.

  “They’re very sharp,” Ryan confirmed.

  Despite her fear, Jacqueline almost laughed. “I swear to God, Ryan, you haven’t changed a bit.”

  “Hey now, that’s not true. I have more friends than I can count on one hand, and I climbed Mount Olympus.”

  God, how quickly we fall into old habits. Jacqueline thought. This was how it had always been. They were rarely serious with each other, even about serious things. Strangely, Ryan’s joking, while still slightly annoying, was also starting to make her feel better.

  “You couldn’t climb a hill, and you want me to believe you climbed Olympus?” she asked.

  “Well, you did say you wished I was more active.”

  They’d argued about that about a dozen times throughout their relationship. Jacqueline had wanted to do outdoor things, like hiking and camping and going on float trips. Ryan had been of the opinion that the outdoors was all very well and good, so long as it remained outside of doors where it wouldn’t bother him. He’d gone along sometimes for her sake, but it had put a strain on their relationship. Not as much as other things of course, but still...strain.

  “I’m so sorry, Jacqueline,” Ryan said into the sudden silence. “I know I keep saying that, but I am. About what happened between us, about all the things I didn’t tell you. I could have explained what was going on, and I should have trusted you enough to do it. It was all my fault.”

  “Ryan,” she said quickly, “You know I’m married, right?” She didn’t think he’d call her after all this time, amid all this insanity, to try and rekindle their relationship, but...

  “I know,” he said. “I follow you on Facebook, remember? I saw all the pictures. I didn’t call to talk about us, but I owed you that apology.”

  “It’s fine,” Jacqueline said. “Ancient history. So why did you call? Or was it just to warn me I was being followed?”

  “Well...I kind of need your help.”

  Now Jacqueline did laugh. She couldn’t help it. “Seriously? You become an all-powerful being, you fight a centimane in the streets, you nuke Canada, and you need my help?”

  “Technically, it wasn’t a centimane, it was a hecatoncheires.”

  “Technically, I don’t give a shit. Ryan, why the hell do you…” she caught herself. “No, I was going to ask why you thought I’d help you, but that would be the wrong question. If you were in a tight spot and having problems, I’d be happy to help. You’ve known that for years. That isn’t the problem.”

  “Then what is?”

  “It’s the kind of trouble you bring with you right now, Ryan,” Jacqueline said. “It’s about the fact that you are wanted by the United States government. It’s about the fact that you fight monsters in the streets now. That all fine in books and games, Ryan, but I don’t want that in my life. I’m already, apparently, being followed by nameless goons.”

  “I’m sorry. I...wouldn’t call if there were any better options, Jacqueline. I hate asking you to risk anything, but I need you. I promise you’ll be safe.”

  “Like you kept Isabel safe?”

  Ryan was silent, and Dianmu winced. Jacqueline immediately regretted saying that. “Ryan, I-”

  “I screwed up,” he said quietly. “I let myself get blindsided. That won’t happen this time. I can promise you that.”

  “I believe you,” she said, surprised to find that she actually did.

  “Oh, and you’ll have some gods that owe you a favor. That’s a pretty big deal.”

  “Oh, I’ll have gods that owe me a favor. That’s a perfectly normal thing to offer in exchange for helping a freaking fugitive. Is Jehovah going to come knocking at my door and offer to pay off my student loans? Is Thor going to slide down my chimney and find my husband a job that doesn’t require so my trav
el? Is Horus going to pop by and offer me a chest full of gold so I can live in luxury?”

  “I mean...that last one isn’t impossible.”

  Jacqueline blinked. “You...you’re serious.”

  “Hold on, let me send him a message.”

  “Send him a message? Horus?”

  “He’s the one watching the men who are watching you,” Dianmu said helpfully.

  A minute later, Ryan said, “Horus says, ‘I was a god of Egypt, Nascent. If you don’t think I have more than enough gold to pay off any mortal, you truly are as ignorant as I thought you were.’ So, yeah, a chest of gold is totally on the table.”

  “I...for fuck’s sake Ryan, what am I supposed to say to that?”

  Ryan got serious. “You could say yes, Jacqueline. Please. I’m out of options, and the entire world is at stake. I know it’s a shitty thing for me to do, but I swear to you that I will keep you safe and I will make it worth your time.”

  “Walk me through the plan,” Jacqueline said after another pregnant pause. “Tell me what’s going on, and what you want me to do...and then I’ll decide.”

  Dianmu beamed at her. “I’ll go and get you another cup of coffee.”

  Chapter 18

  Meet the New Boss

  The moment the others left Crystal’s staging area, the strange urge to drop into her nanoverse’s time stream vanished, along with the strain of holding back the desire to exercise power over the others. Now she could focus on her power over her nanoverse, and that thought immediately created a spike of fear. She took a moment to center herself, breathing slowly and fixing her eyes on the floor, letting her shoulders relax.

  Once she felt fully in control of herself, she brought her eyes up to the ruined mess of her nanoverse.

  When she’d shown the real display to her companions, she’d expected it to be bad. She’d assumed they would see the wrongness of the stars and the unnatural gaseous nebula stretching between them, but she’d also thought that she would be able to see the improvements from her last visit. Instead, she discovered that her work on her prior visit had been for naught.

  The entire universe had turned into a putrid, disgusting mass. While the others had been focused on how the stars pulsed unwholesome colors, Crystal had been looking at the planets. Even from a distance, she could tell that her improvements had not stuck. The worlds were clearly choked with unnatural clouds or covered with strange-colored vegetation. Even without a closer look, it was clear that the revitalization she had set in motion had been halted and reversed.

  Maybe it’s just from a distance, she told herself now, going over to her control panel. Maybe things up close aren’t as bad. Filled with desperate hope, she began to navigate her staging area to the homeworld of the Sur-nah-him.

  The moment she saw it, she wanted to weep as her hope shriveled. The giant oozes that had fed upon the world and its people were gone, but now the planet was covered with massive insects she could see from the edge of the atmosphere. They worked their way along the ground like maggots on an apple.

  She couldn’t bring herself to look closer. Not yet. She synced her staging area’s time stream to the nanoverse’s, so this moment of grief would not prolong anyone’s suffering and collapsed into the chair.

  Now that she was truly within the nanoverse, she could practically hear the Sur-nah-him’s cries for relief.

  Relief that, so far, she’d failed to provide them. Hands down, without question, she’d utterly failed them. The people here were her responsibility. Their lives were dependent on her, and she had the power to ensure their needs were met. So what had she done? She’d given them Band-Aids for an infected wound. What defense did she have? “I was worried about the people of Earth, so I just did the minimum and bounced, hoping it got better?” “I didn’t know what it would do?” Those were a weak excuse, mainly because the truth was so apparent. I was afraid.

  She’d been afraid, and she’d let her fear cause them suffering.

  How many prayers have they made to me since my last visit? Crystal wondered, fighting a wave of nausea. How many of them begging me for succor, for hope, for anything other than the bloody hell I’ve left them trapped in?

  With a growing certainty, Crystal realized there hadn’t been many. In a universe like this, why would you think to pray to God? You’d probably want to do whatever you could just to avoid drawing her attention. If this universe has a devil, they’re probably a sodding hero.

  Crystal took a deep breath. She’d let this go on too long. She’d let these people suffer from her own cowardice for millennia upon millennia. It had to stop. The half measures had to stop. She was not going to leave again until she was sure she had fixed it, no matter how long it took. She’d trust the others - even Horus - to look after the fate of the Core for however long she was in here.

  Resolved, she stood up and tried to take better stock of what, if anything, her changes had accomplished. There was one spot of hope: the absence of the lake-sized amoebas had given the Sur-Nah-Him an opening to build a single city. At least I accomplished something, Crystal thought.

  Then she turned her attention to those insects. Dreading what she would see, she magnified her view. They were enormously engorged centipedes with lamprey-like mouths that were surrounded by tendrils. Those appendages forced everything in its path, even the dirt, into their gaping maws. They scurried about, unchecked, devastating the landscape.

  Crystal swallowed bile. This was a new super-predator, something that had arisen to fill the ecological niche she’d left when she’d wiped out the oozes. Evolution should have taken millions of years to produce these things...and it’s only been a few hundred. I wasn’t gone that long. Frustration and anger bubbled up within her. She’d tried and accomplished almost nothing.

  Damnit. Damnit damnit damnit. Crystal slammed her fist against the console. It kept happening like that. She tried to will improvements, and her nanoverse spawned Phoberia to stop her. She created a virus to wipe out the Phoberia, and monsters swarmed individual worlds to devour the inhabitants. She got rid of the monsters, and new monsters emerged.

  She was fumbling as badly as a Nascent trying to create a utopia.

  There IS something intelligent out there. Something trying to keep things terrible. It was time to face that fact. No matter what Crystal did, her adversary would twist and distort it, or just create some new awful scenario. All she was doing was forcing him or her or them to be more creative. Stop trying to fix the symptoms. You have to find the root cause, and you have to eradicate it. Otherwise, it’s never going to get better, yeah?

  She began to lower her staging area into the atmosphere.

  One of the centipede monstrosities was scurrying after a group of fleeing Sur-nah-him. Crystal’s lips pulled back from her teeth in a snarl. Here we go again.

  She teleported out of her staging area and appeared before the rampaging beast, hand outstretched. The creature roared at the new prey, and its fetid breath washed over her.

  With a flick of her finger, Crystal transformed it into a swarm of butterflies that scattered to the four winds.

  Immediately, the Sur-nah-him dropped to their knees. “Please spare us!” one of them wailed.

  “Oh bloody hell,” Crystal grumbled. “Get up. Up! I’m not going to be destroying anyone today.”

  “Goddess,” one of them said in their tongue, although Crystal knew that the word could also mean “destroyer” and “glutton”. He continued, his voice resigned, “I thank you for sparing us slow digestion by The Hunger that Walks, and beg you to swiftly end our wretched lives.”

  Crystal blinked a few times, buying herself time to make sure she properly understood them. “Oh bloody hell,” she said, dropping the imperious tones. “I’m not going to kill you.

  The Sur-nah-him wailed in terror. “Please, Goddess, I beg you. Spare us whatever living death you have in mind. Give us true death and allow us to embrace oblivion.”

  Crystal took a few deep breaths, su
ppressing a flash of irritation. These people are fatalistic because you let their world rot, Crystal. You let this entire nanoverse rot. Don’t blame them for confusing you with whatever monster you left in here with them.