“Thank you, Galen.” The gentle whisper of her voice is so quiet I can barely hear her. My name on her lips fills me with a warmth I don’t remember ever feeling before.
“Anything for you, Sparky. You know that. Take your time considering my advice. Just don’t take too long, Killian isn’t getting any younger.” I chuckle, letting her pat me once more, before I move away.
“I will think about it. Just don’t hold your breath though, okay?” She shrugs, moving to stand.
“As long as you think about it, then we’re good. I just don’t want you to regret not doing something when you had the chance. Got it?”
A few soft nods are her only reply. Reaching the barn door, she turns to me once more. “Bye Miggles. Thank you for listening and the advice. Give me a little time, I don’t want to rush into any decisions. I hope you can understand that.”
“Of course. Now go get some rest yourself. I’ll always be here. If you need me for anything, call out. Okay?”
I’m gifted with one of her beautiful smiles. It may be only a small one, but to me it is everything. She turns away and my eyes follow her as she slowly walks back toward the house.
I wish I could go with her.
I may have been harsh with her, but it was for her own good. I may have said nothing, but I heard her plea about how she wished she was brave enough to let Killian love her. I have no doubt that Killian already does, or is very close to it. As for Alina, she’s probably well on her way to loving him too, she’s just too scared and is refusing to acknowledge it. Hopefully, I have given her enough of a push in the right direction. I wish I could shed this form. I know if I could be a man again, I would shift in a heartbeat. I would charge up those steps, slam open the doors until I got to her, scoop her into my arms and kiss the ever living shit out of her. Thinking about it, I would probably do the same to Killian as well, just to see how he would react.
Sighing, I decide to go for a run. Sometimes running clears my mind so I can think straight. Except my mind goes back to the fact Vemnos was in her room last night. It makes my stomach turn and fills me with unease. What if he returns again? What if he takes her? Horrible thoughts bombard my mind, consuming me with dread, until the small faint whisper of “relax, I’ll be fine” filters into my mind. I take another steadying breath, anything to try to settle down.
She must have sensed my restlessness. It was her turn to comfort me. I will never get used to these consuming emotions. One minute I’m happy and carefree, the next scared and worried. What is this woman doing to me? Every moment I spend with her it feels like my heart swells a little more. Unfortunately, I’m not going to listen to my own advice about revealing emotions. How can I when I’m like this? Nope, instead I will tuck those little suckers down and not let anyone see them. Even if it hurts me in the long run, my priority is Alina. If I can make her happy, all this will be worth it.
I just need to convince myself.
5
Alina
The rest of the day passes by smoothly. Apart from coming out of his room for food or a drink, Killian spent most of it in bed. I tried cleaning up some of the house and a little bit of the farm as much as I could. Other than checking in on Killian a few times, I left him alone to rest. I brought Galen some food, but I may have avoided him a little for the rest of the day so he wouldn’t keep pestering me about talking to Killian.
I wasn’t feeling very hungry, so I had a sandwich for dinner. As Killian was sleeping, I quietly crept into his room and placed a sandwich and a glass of water on his bedside cabinet. After sneaking back out again, I made my way to my room to ready myself for bed. Once I’d had a quick shower, dried off then pulled on some sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, I climbed into bed. Exhaustion finally taking over, I reach over to switch the lamp off and settle myself under the duvet.
Thoughts and emotions dance around in my head, no matter how much I try to push them aside. After what seems like hours of just lying in the dark thinking, my mind settles and I finally drift off to sleep.
Blinking my eyes open, I look around. Thick mist coats everything around me, the bitter icy wind howling and beating against my skin chills me to the bone.
Great, I’m dreaming again. What this time?
I notice flames rising in the distance. So, it’s smoke surrounding me, not mist. I can taste the ash on my tongue as my eyes squint into the bleakness.
I take a few tentative steps forward, seeing what appears to be the remains of a village. Billows of smoke and flames rise from the charred remains of houses, trees and to my horror, people. There are hundreds of decimated bodies surrounding me. I gag on the bile clambering up my throat, choking me from within. Hot tears prick at my skin as I survey the carnage all around me.
I don’t even need to guess who would be the cause of such a disgusting crime. There’s only one name on my lips. Vemnos.
Carefully stepping over the numerous bodies, I make my way to what I believe would have been the center of the village. There in the middle is an old stone well. That in itself would not have been of any concern. What is however, is the lone figure leaning against it, flames licking around them. How is one person still alive amongst this destruction?
“Excuse me, are you okay?” I call out, edging toward the figure. The closer I get, the more I can make out. I can just about see long brown hair and their body shaking in what I can only assume are sobs of despair.
The silence is broken when the woman lets out the most heart-breaking sound I have ever heard. She throws her head back in so much anguish my own heart breaks. I quietly edge nearer, trying not to startle her. I stop advancing when I can see her clearly through the bleakness surrounding us.
There’s no way she’s human.
Seeing her now, what I originally thought was a dress is actually her skin. Layers upon layers of bark coat her torso gathering into thick tendrils of roots which sprout from her body. They seem to sway and move with the breeze. What appears to be thick green moss grows in patches all over her, giving a dewy sheen to her pale sage skin. As I’m taking in her appearance, my eyes snap up to meet her luminous ice blue ones. The pale color of glaciers seem to shimmer in contrast to the rest of her earthly colored body. She’s truly mesmerizing.
I clear my throat readying myself to talk to her, when she abruptly stands rigid. She’s poised in such a way that she may be royalty. That’s when my slow sleepy mind catches up and I realize she’s a god. Or to be more exact, there is only one goddess to my knowledge that she could be. Zevanna.
I stare intensely at the one who is the closest thing I have ever had to a mother, standing strong amongst the wreckage.
She glances around surveying everything that has been destroyed. My gaze is transfixed on her as she tentatively walks over to a smoldering pile of ash. Tears cascade down her face and she moves to stand within the flames, as they lick at her body, rising up the roots.
I try to scream out to her but my voice comes out strangled. I can only watch in despair as the inferno rages around her.
My own tears cascade down my cheeks, as she lifts her hands up to the ash clouded sky with her eyes closed. Her long thin fingers splay and arc out into a beautiful pattern as though they are dancing with the wind. Flecks of gold and green light emanate from them as she moves in a symphony of despair and anguish.
I watch in amazement as her tears begin glowing bright blue like a beacon within the colors of the inferno. The flames are now against her face. I desperately want to race forward to save her, but I’m frozen to the spot.
Her stunning ice blue eyes snap open and focus on me. A soft gentle smile tugging at her lips.
“It’s okay Little One. This has already happened. There is nothing you can do to stop it.” Her rich earthly voice rises above the sound of the crackling flames. She smiles once more, her tears glowing brighter. “This was always meant to happen. I had foreseen for eons that I would give you the power to do what I cannot. To stop the evil before it consumes the world. I
have foreseen what will happen if the darkness consumes everything. I have witnessed first hand the destruction that can be caused and I refuse to let it happen again.”
My heart clenches tightly, as my own tears of anguish fill the air. Clasping my hands to my chest, I try to hold in the pain as it becomes too much.
One more sad smile traces her lips. “It will be alright Little One. I will always be with you. I am the whisper in the wind, the earth beneath your feet. I am the thunder, the lightning, the raging storms and the calm summer days. I am all around you and you will never be alone. No matter how hopeless you may feel, you will find a way. Now go, do what you must and remember, trust your heart.”
Tears stream down her cheeks as the fire appears to consume her body with a proud smile on her face.
A blinding light forces me to close my eyes. I strain to open them. When I do, Zevanna is gone and everything is silent once more. The fires have died out, only smoldering ash remains.
I’m startled by the sound of a baby’s cry echoing into the dark night. With shock and awe I hesitantly look down, my heart beating an erratic pace within my chest.
With wide eyes and a gaping mouth, I spy a tiny baby lying in the charred ash. Little arms flailing around as her cries pierce my soul and swirls of gold dance around her tiny hands and feet.
Movement out the corner of my eye has me turning my head swiftly toward a hooded figure. I’m frozen in place, as the figure moves closer to the crying baby. I want to jump forward to protect the child, but my feet are still unable to move. A hand reaches out from under the cloak toward the hysterical baby. What I thought at first was a blue glove is actually their natural skin color. Another god.
The blue fingers reach out to tenderly stroke against the child’s cheek and the crying immediately stops. Deep, rich cooing sounds fill the air as the unknown person soothes the baby. They reach out to gently scoop the tiny bundle into their arms, wrapping them within their cloak. I watch in wonderment as the figure carrying the baby walks away from me and fades into the distance.
Through my astonished tear-filled eyes, I understand what I had just witnessed before everything fades to black.
My birth.
I slowly open my eyes. My pillow is damp from the tears I shed in my sleep. Slowly moving to sit up, I wrap my arms around my knees and rest my chin against them.
I not only just witnessed my birth, I’m sure I also saw the death of a goddess.
What am I meant to do with this new information?
“What’s up, Sparky? Are you okay?” Galen’s rough sleep filled voice startles me.
“Do you know exactly how I was created?” I question, a mix of concern and anger filling my veins at the idea he may have not told me the whole truth when he explained how I came to be.
Silence is my only answer until his quiet pained voice resonates through me. “Maybe you should come to the barn. It’s for the best if we speak face to face. Just bear in mind I was only allowed to tell you certain things before you shout at me.”
“I’ll be there in a moment. And Galen, I need some real answers. Not half assed truths.”
“I understand.”
Putting my emotions in check, I quickly grab Killian’s shirt from where I discarded it when I got ready for bed. I quietly make my way out of the house and walk toward the barn in the dead of night. I reach the door and pull it open to step into the warmth. Clicking on the overhead lamp, everything comes into focus with a soft orange glow. In the corner I can see Galen on his knees watching me as I walk in.
“Did Zevanna sacrifice herself to create me?” I choke out, moving to crouch down in front of him.
“Since that dreadful night there has been no sign of her. It was presumed she perished in the fire. Please remember I was warned to only let you know certain things at any given time. Believe me Sparky, it wasn’t by choice.” He bows his head down as he speaks with sadness in his tone.
“Does this mean you were aware of her sacrifice all this time?”
A weak nod is the only answer I get. I realize I should be angrier, but seeing Galen like this, and not the strong magnificent beast I know he is, hurts me more than him not being entirely truthful with me.
“Why weren’t you allowed to say anything else? You could have told me about Zevanna.”
“Seeing as everything was speculation and never confirmed, it was thought you may not wish to know the entirety of what happened. Come to think of it, how do you know? I never mentioned anything to which I can recall.” Galen’s puzzled voice has me reliving my dream. If that’s what I can call it. I inhale a shaky breath and look to Galen for answers.
GALEN
I wait as Alina gathers her thoughts in front of me, lines furrowing her forehead.
“I dreamt it. I watched as it happened. The village, the bodies, the fire, and Zevanna in the middle. I believe I saw her get burned alive. I was frozen to the spot. There was a blinding light and when I opened my eyes again, there was only ash and a small baby. I couldn’t move when the hooded figure appeared and gathered up the baby, I mean me, and walked away into the distance. Who was that anyway? All I saw were blue hands.”
“Blue hands? The only people I know with that coloring is Draythys and her twin brother Dhysysus. It may have been one of them. I’m so sorry you had to witness that Sparky. It sounds like a vision, similar to Killian’s. Although yours is of the past rather than the future.”
She rests on her knees in the hay, glancing down at her hands. She chews her lip from either worry or thoughtfulness. I can’t be sure which. Her stunning fiery eyes catch mine and I can see the pain within their depths.
“Zevanna spoke to me. She called me Little One and told me about my power and how I have the ability to destroy the darkness.” She takes a sharp intake of breath. “Zevanna said that I will never be alone. That she is always with me. She spoke as if she were actually there with me. I just don’t know what to think anymore. I was told to trust my heart. But how can I trust it when I’m not even sure what it’s even telling me?” Reaching a hand up, she runs it through her hair, grasping at the ends. Her brow is furrowed with what I can only imagine is the multiple thoughts going through her head.
“I think you know what your heart is telling you. It’s your thoughts that are clouding your judgment. I’ve already spoken to you about this. I’ve told you my thoughts on the matter. It’s up to you now to decide how you move forward. You can’t change the past, but at least try for a future.” Leaning forward, I use my nose to nuzzle against the hand tugging at her hair.
Alina lets out a defeated sigh. It sounds like the weight of the world is resting on her shoulders. To some extent it probably is. I wish I could do more to help her, but even I’m not sure of myself anymore. I know what I want, it’s just the going after it part I’m struggling with.
“I know you’re right. I wish it was easy for my mind and heart to get into sync with each other. I need time. And I understand there isn’t always going to be a lot of it, but I need to decide this on my own. These past few weeks have been a complete mind fuck and I need a little time to think things through. Especially after learning what I did tonight.”
“I understand Sparky. Sometimes your heart and head can be your greatest enemies,” I reply softly.
She slides to the side so her legs are tucked underneath her as she moves closer to me. I watch her out of the corner of my eye as she nestles herself into my side, leaning against my muscled shoulder. I can feel the warmth emanating from her and the soft rise and fall of her breaths. Although it feels wonderful having her so close, tucked safely into my side, I still pray to the gods to be a man once more. I would give anything for the chance to hold her in my arms, to run my own fingers through her fiery hair.
“What are you doing Sparky?” I love the feel of her against me as she fidgets to make herself comfortable.
“I don’t want to go back up to the house just yet. Is it alright if I stay here with you a little longer?”
Her sad eyes appear hopeful.
“Why don’t you see if Killian is awake and snuggle in with him for a bit?” I offer with a wink. I’m elbowed in the ribs as she glares back at me.
“Stop trying to push me. I will figure things out on my own. I’m staying here for now. But I don’t really want to talk if that’s okay?”
“Of course, Sparky. Look, I’m sorry if it seems like I’m pushing you too hard, I’m just trying to help.”
“I know, I know. And I’m grateful. Honestly, I am. It’s just a lot to process, just give me time. Please,” Alina once again rests her head against me, taking a deep breath and nuzzling in closer.
A faint lingering hint of cinnamon and cloves enter my nose as I inhale her soothing scent and enjoy the feel of her small warm body next to mine. I rest my head on the hay-covered ground, tucking her in against me.
It’s not long before her gentle snores fill the surrounding silence. Her fingers are wrapped softly around my foreleg, holding me close.
My own eyes grow heavy as sleep begins to overtake me.
It’s not long before they snap open again when I hear the door opening. Blinking, I see Killian quietly walk in holding a large thick woolen blanket.
“Is she okay?” he whispers, moving closer.
“You don’t need to whisper. Open your mind and you’ll be able to talk to me that way.” I casually remind him as he crouches down in front of me and Alina.
“Oh yeah. Sorry I forgot. Is she alright though? I heard the back door opening, and I presumed she came down here to check on you. When she didn’t come back, I was worried. I thought she may be cold, so I brought this with me,” he quickly rambles out, holding up the blanket. He cautiously drapes it over her, fondness shining in his eyes as he gently tucks her in. “Take care of her okay.”
Whispers of Tomorrow (The Alina Chronicles Book 2) Page 4
