Heathens

by Eliza Marsh

  Letting out a hysterical sob, Jackie lurched up from the old couch and ran to the kitchen sink. She shoved the faucet on and filled her hands with soap, trying desperately to scrub the red color from her skin. Tears continued to flow from her eyes, distorting both her vision and her thought process.

  Dean gone. Ian dead. Oliver possibly taken away from her.

  Jackie yelled and swiped angrily at the items on the kitchen counter, though she got little satisfaction as they hit the ground loudly. Too lost in her breakdown, she barely registered Oliver’s continued cries from the living room. She sobbed, staring down at her hands, and noticed the blood splattered on her shirt. Her eyes widened, hands shaking as she grabbed at it and frantically pulled the shirt over her head.

  Throwing the offending item across the room, she turned and hit the cabinets, sliding down and landing harshly on the cheap linoleum flooring. Jackie pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking from the force of the tears she couldn’t control.

  Time slipped by without her knowledge as she continued to sit there in oblivion.

  “Jack?”

  Her head shot up as the deep voice startled her from her breakdown. Through her blurry, tear-filled vision, she could barely make out Nash standing several feet away from her, a hiccuping Oliver clutching him tightly. His heart broke as he took in the sight of the distraught mess of a woman on the kitchen floor.

  “I thought you were Dean,” she mumbled darkly, barely able to get the words out through her labored breathing. “But no, he won’t be walking through that door for a while, and I’m going to be all alone just like I knew was going to happen. I knew this was going to happen!” Her emotions turned angry as she finally began to run out of tears. “You guys talked me into coming back here. You promised everything was going to be okay. Well, it’s not okay, Nash! I watched Ian bleed out, and they’re threatening to take Oliver, and Dean is gone, and I don’t know what to do!”

  Nash slowly closed the distance between them, carefully reaching down to wrap a hand around her upper arm to haul her to her feet. The sympathy he felt began to fade, instead melting into a calm determination. “You’re gonna get up, you’re gonna go shower, you’re gonna finish crying, and then we’ll figure the rest out together. You hear me?” He lowered his head a notch to catch her gaze, raising his eyebrows expectantly when she didn’t answer. “Hm?”

  Nodding sluggishly, Jackie did her best to agree to his terms as the tears began drying on her face. “Yeah, okay.”

  “Okay. Get going.” He gave her a gentle shove towards the bedroom, the baby still comfortably resting in his other arm. When she disappeared, he shook his head wearily. “Fuck me, what a mess.” Nash turned his attention to the human now temporarily in his charge. “Ain’t that right, big guy? I bet you’re hungry. Let’s see if we can find you something.”

  He turned to the fridge, pleasantly surprised to find a supply of pre-filled bottles at the ready. “Well, would ya look at that?” Grabbing the closest one, he hesitated briefly before moving to the microwave. “This goes in here, right?” Nash looked down at Oliver expectantly, not surprised when he received nothing but a gurgle in response. “Hm, yeah, I think we’re supposed to nuke it for a bit.”

  Nash continued to talk quietly with the child as he prepared the bottle, then later settled himself on the couch to feed him. Feet propped up on the coffee table, the biker hummed under his breath as Oliver happily settled into the crook of the stocky set of arms to enjoy his bottle. Nash took the quiet time to try to sort his own thoughts on the events of the day and the future they had created. Things had certainly gotten out of control very quickly. There were now several moving parts in play involving both their personal lives and their business. It was a lot harder to do what they did for a living when you were down five guys.

  The pair sat on the couch for a while, enjoying the company of one another. Oliver had long since finished his bottle and was sound asleep in the safety of his uncle’s presence. When Nash finally heard the shower cut off, he rose from the couch and deposited the baby in the crib nearby, then sat back down to wait for Jackie to emerge.

  It was another few minutes, but she finally did exit the bedroom, dressed in clean clothes and using a towel to dry her hair.

  “Feeling a little better?”

  Jackie sighed and plopped down heavily on the yellow tweed couch next to the biker. “Feeling numb.” Nash nodded his head in agreement, once again leaning back against the cushion and putting a foot up on the table to get comfortable. Sitting up suddenly, Jackie swung her head to look at the man next to her, eyes wide and towel forgotten. “Has anyone called Charlotte to tell her about Elijah? She must be freaking out too, I should call her.”

  Nash laid a hand on her arm to both calm her and prevent her from getting up. “Relax, Luke called her already. She wanted to head to the station, but he managed to talk her out of it. He’ll swing by to check on her once he finishes with the lawyers.”

  “What about TJ? How’s he holding up?”

  “He was at the clubhouse when I got there. Him and a few of the mechanics were trying to clean up a bit, but it’s a complete mess. He’s got his wife to look after him. He’ll be okay.”

  She looked at him expectantly, placing a hand over his still laying on her arm. “And you? I know you and Ian were close.”

  Sighing, he broke eye contact with the woman and instead stared at his booted foot. “Yeah, we were. We were the only family he’d ever had. The club meant everything to him. I know he seemed like a goofball sometimes, like he was just there to grab ass at the parties, but he was as loyal as they come. A real friend, ya know?”

  Jackie leaned into his side to comfort him, taking her own solace in the arm he wrapped around her shoulders. “I know. I liked him too. He was always so accepting of me, from day one.” They sat in silence for a minute before she continued. “Who’s going to organize the funeral services for him?”

  “Luke has already put in calls to a few charters to get some extra bodies up here while we’re sorting this mess out. I’m sure many will just make the drive to honor Ian. Then it usually turns into a party at the clubhouse, but I’m not sure many will be in the mood after all of this.”

  She nodded her head, understanding the need to celebrate the life of the one who was gone, but knowing her heart wouldn’t really be in it either with the boys in jail. “I'll get the diner to put some food together. It’s the least we can do.”

  “He would like that, thanks.”

  They went back to silence as both of them were lost in their thoughts.

  “Was hoping I could crash here tonight,” Nash said quietly. “I don’t want you to be alone, just in case the Saints have any other plans.”

  She sat up from her leaning position, eyes widening in alarm as she hadn’t considered the rival MC in any of this. “Oh god, do you think they would attack again?”

  Nash was shaking his head before she even finished her question, regret filling him at putting the idea into her head. “No, I highly doubt they’d risk it knowing everyone would be on high alert after their stunt earlier. I just know Dean would feel better if you and Oliver weren’t alone right now.”

  “Right, yeah, I can’t say I disagree. You’re certainly welcome to bunk in here with Ollie, although I can’t guarantee you get much sleep with him around.”

  “That’s okay. I’m exhausted. Don’t think I’ll have any trouble sleeping.”

  The talk of sleep caused Jackie to yawn, revealing her own level of tiredness after such a whirlwind day. “Same. Guess I should head to bed now that I’ve cried myself into a stupor.” She got up from the couch, walking over to the storage ottoman to grab the spare pillow and blanket for Nash to use. “Help yourself to whatever is in the fridge if you want anything. You know the drill.”

  He chuckled, accepting the items she handed him. “Yes, ma’am. Go get some sleep.”

  “Night, Nash. And thanks for co
ming over and always being here for me. I really do appreciate it.”

  He grunted at the sentimental words, breaking eye contact and mumbling under his breath as he shifted himself on the couch to lay down. Jackie smiled at the tough guy, letting him keep to his image. She knew, however, that she and Oliver were now an important part of this family of misfits.

  44

  “It’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay.”

  It was the tenth time in the last hour Charlotte had tried to reassure Jackie that the world wasn’t actually ending.

  Jackie still didn’t believe her.

  The two women sat with their children and several bikers in the front row of the courtroom, waiting impatiently for their loved ones to be brought in for their bail hearing. Nash sat to her left, while Oliver was balanced carefully in her lap, and TJ sat to the right of Charlotte and Logan. Leaning against the divider separating the seats from the attorney’s tables, Luke was in a deep discussion with Lorraine and Carter regarding the options for the boys.

  “I think I’m gonna throw up,” Jackie said, her voice shaking. “ I can’t do this.”

  “Don’t be dramatic, cupcake,” TJ said loudly from his end of the bench, trying to play off his own nervousness that was evident by the bouncing of his leg. “It’s just the bail hearing, nothing crazy is gonna happen.”

  “We’re prepared for the fact that they won’t get bail, not with their records. But that’s okay.” Charlotte spoke with a forced calmness to her voice, keeping her tone strong. “The lawyers will figure something out like they always do.”

  The courtroom went quiet as a side door opened, and the group of five were ushered in, hands cuffed but otherwise looking well. They were dressed in nicer clothes to seem respectable, but that worked for some better than others. Carter stepped forward to direct each to a specific seat at the table, and Jackie was thrilled that it seemed he had assigned them with a purpose. Dean and Elijah ended up in front of the ladies, both sending smiles and waves to their families before being told to sit down. Lorraine stood on the opposite side of the table, quietly addressing the men as to the proceedings about to take place.

  It took everything Jackie had not to reach out and grab Dean, to have him tell her everything was going to be okay. Instead, she took Charlotte’s hand in hers and held it, giving the woman a tight smile of encouragement.

  The hearing itself lasted only a few minutes once the judge finally arrived. To nobody’s surprise, the men were not granted bail due to their extensive criminal histories and involvement with what the judge called a known gang. Murphy scoffed at this, while Mack and Elijah remained stoically silent. The sound of the gavel striking the desk signaled the end of the hearing, and the judge was out as fast as he’d come in.

  The bikers got up, many of them turning to the row of people behind them to get in a quick word. Jackie immediately took the opportunity to grab Dean’s hand as she stood, Oliver in her arms.

  “Are you okay?” she asked quickly, eyeing the court officers that were making their way to the handcuffed group.

  “I’m fine,” Dean replied, lifting his bound hands to rub Oliver’s fuzzy head. “How are you holding up?”

  “We’re okay. The boys are looking out for us.”

  Dean looked to Nash and nodded in thanks at hearing his family was being cared for in his absence. “Good. That’s good.” There was so much to say, but so little time to say it. “Look, I’m sorry about-”

  “I know,” Jackie replied shakily, tears threatening to fall as she tried to hold it together. “I know.”

  The guards arrived at the table, ready to escort the prisoners back to their holding cell, but Carter stopped them. “Guys, c’mon. They’re fathers, give them thirty seconds to say goodbye to their families.” Glancing at each other, the two officials briefly conversed in silence before reluctantly nodding, much to Charlotte and Jackie’s relief.

  Elijah carefully hugged his wife and child as they whispered softly to each other, heartbroken at the thought of being apart. The sight nearly caused Jackie to lose it, and she sniffed back her emotions roughly before turning to the biker next to Dean. “You okay, Murph?”

  The blonde sent her a cocky smile, nothing phasing his cheerful demeanor. “Of course, I’m okay. You just hang in there, dollface. We’ll be out in no time.”

  Jackie tried to return his smile, but she struggled to complete the gesture. Dean’s cuffed hands reached up to cradle her face. “Hey,” he said quietly, looking down at her with an uncharacteristically soft expression. “You’re gonna be okay. You don’t need me. You never have.”

  “Oliver needs you,” she replied with a sniff.

  He grimaced, lowering his gaze at her words. “I haven’t exactly been a stand-up father for him. It’s probably for the best I won’t be around to influence him for awhile. But I swear, I’m gonna get my shit straight while I’m inside. I'm gonna get clean.” He paused, looking unsure of himself as he tried to organize his thoughts. Before he could voice anything else, the court officers approached the group.

  “Time’s up fellas.”

  The men began to move, waving farewells to the family and friends on the other side of the divider. Dean lingered a moment, leaning down to kiss both Jackie and baby Oliver. His eyes connected with Jackie’s as he pulled back, trying to convey everything he wanted to say, didn’t know how to say, in one look. A guard appeared at his side, urging him to follow his fellow bikers back to the holding cell.

  “Look in my closet,” he said over the man’s head towards Jackie. “Inside those boots you hate.” Her face scrunched in confusion at his words, thinking of the beat-up work boots at the bottom of his shoe pile as Dean disappeared from sight.

  “You good?” Nash asked quietly, eyes surveying the room as people began to vacate.

  Jackie nodded, clearing her throat as she composed herself. “Not the first time I’ll be on my own, we’ll manage.”

  “You’re not alone.”

  She looked to Nash, who met her eyes only briefly before averting them elsewhere. Smiling softly, she simply nudged him with her elbow in response, not wanting to make the situation too sentimental for his sake. Instead, she turned her attention to Charlotte, who was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue as TJ occupied the kid.

  “You gonna be okay?” Jackie asked the dark-skinned woman as she wrapped her free arm tightly around her friend’s shoulders.

  “Of course,” Charlotte replied haughtily, squaring her shoulders. “We’re capable of anything we want to do. So we are going to rock this time without our men and take over the whole damn city.”

  Jackie laughed at the grandiose idea, glad that at least someone was trying to stay positive. “I’ll settle for just not going broke or ruining my child.”

  45

  The clubhouse was packed with bikers from other charters, in town to celebrate their fallen brother as well as provide reinforcements should things with the Dead Saints kick off again. They had just finished the graveside ceremony for Ian, a hundred bikers there to show support. Now, the group was piling into the parking lot of the East Side Mechanics’ auto garage.

  It had been two weeks since the incident, two weeks since Ian had been killed, and half the charter was locked up. Things were finally starting to get back to normal. Repairs were ongoing, but with the extra hands around, they had been able to clear out the debris from the shoot out and at least have the clubhouse habitable for the party. The mood was sober, but celebratory despite their missing friends.

  Tyler and Jagger barged through the door, shouting at everyone to get out of the way as they both precariously balanced several large, aluminum foil pans of food in their hands.

  “Move or go hungry!” Jagger barked, stomping over to the bar and all but dropping the trays on top of the wooden surface. “There’s more in the van,” he said to Nash and TJ, who both rolled their eyes and dutifully left their barstools to assist.

  Taking a sip of his beer, Luke eyed the trays c
uriously. “This all from the diner?”

  “Most of it. Charlotte pitched in as much as her little kitchen could spit out in the last twenty-four hours,” Jagger replied, sliding the trays one by one down the bar counter to set up a buffet line.

  “Make sure we pay the ladies generously for their contributions.”

  Tyler grinned as he began ripping the lids off of the pans to reveal the food. “Already done. Gave Jackie even more when I saw the number of pies she packed up.”

  Luke shook his head, wondering just how much he’d ended up paying for all of this, but knowing the money was well deserved considering the circumstances. “When are you two headed back?” he asked.

  “We’re not,” was the simple reply he received from Jagger, who merely shrugged at Luke’s raised brows. “You’re down more than half your charter. You’re gonna need some extra hands to deal with the Saints, not to mention actually running this garage and trying to salvage the car business.”

  “And Jackie needs us,” Tyler added with a lopsided grin. “That’s mainly why we’re staying.”

  Luke shook his head with a resigned smile. “I suppose I should just be grateful no matter the reason. She coming by this afternoon?”

  Tyler nodded, moving away from the bar as bikers began to swarm the food. "Said she'd be by in a bit. Had to take care of some things at the diner first."

  Luke's attention turned towards the door, where Nash had just re-entered with a pair of newcomers following behind him. “The lawyers are here,” he said to the Lakeside bikers and pointed towards the quiet meeting room before heading that direction. Nash and TJ entered a few seconds later, followed by the always-statuesque Lorraine Davis and her partner Carter.

  “Well, it could have been worse,” Lorraine said as soon as the doors were closed behind her, not wasting any time. “The DA knew there were too many wildcards with going to trial. Women and children being shot at usually make a jury pretty sympathetic, not that we could have guaranteed a win. So it was in the best interest of everyone to do a plea deal. A year of jail time, eight months max if they can keep their heads down.”