Complete Works of D.H. Lawrence

by D. H. Lawrence

  “Well,” she said, when she was safely back in Manchester House, with the gas lighted, and as she was pouring the boiling water into the tea-pot, “You may say what you like. It’s interesting in a way, just to show what savage Red-Indians were like. But it’s childish. It’s only childishness. I can’t understand, myself, how people can go on liking shows. Nothing happens. It’s not like the cinema, where you see it all and take it all in at once; you know everything at a glance. You don’t know anything by looking at these people. You know they’re only men dressed up, for money. I can’t see why you should encourage it. I don’t hold with idle show-people, parading round, I don’t, myself. I like to go to the cinema once a week. It’s instruction, you take it all in at a glance, all you need to know, and it lasts you for a week. You can get to know everything about people’s actual lives from the cinema. I don’t see why you want people dressing up and showing off.”

  They sat down to their tea and toast and marmalade, during this harangue. Miss Pinnegar was always like a douche of cold water to Alvina, bringing her back to consciousness after a delicious excitement. In a minute Madame and Ciccio and all seemed to become unreal — the actual unrealities: while the ragged dithering pictures of the film were actual, real as the day. And Alvina was always put out when this happened. She really hated Miss Pinnegar. Yet she had nothing to answer. They were unreal, Madame and Ciccio and the rest. Ciccio was just a fantasy blown in on the wind, to blow away again. The real, permanent thing was Woodhouse, the semper idem Knarborough Road, and the unchangeable grubby gloom of Manchester House, with the stuffy, padding Miss Pinnegar, and her father, whose fingers, whose very soul seemed dirty with pennies. These were the solid, permanent fact. These were life itself. And Ciccio, splashing up on his bay horse and green cloth, he was a mountebank and an extraneous nonentity, a coloured old rag blown down the Knarborough Road into Limbo. Into Limbo. Whilst Miss Pinnegar and her father sat frowstily on for ever, eating their toast and cutting off the crust, and sipping their third cup of tea. They would never blow away — never, never. Woodhouse was there to eternity. And the Natcha-Kee-Tawara Troupe was blowing like a rag of old paper into Limbo. Nothingness! Poor Madame! Poor gallant histrionic Madame! The frowsy Miss Pinnegar could crumple her up and throw her down the utilitarian drain, and have done with her. Whilst Miss Pinnegar lived on for ever.

  This put Alvina into a sharp temper.

  “Miss Pinnegar,” she said. “I do think you go on in the most unattractive way sometimes. You’re a regular spoil-sport.”

  “Well,” said Miss Pinnegar tartly. “I don’t approve of your way of sport, I’m afraid.”

  “You can’t disapprove of it as much as I hate your spoil-sport existence,” said Alvina in a flare.

  “Alvina, are you mad!” said her father.

  “Wonder I’m not,” said Alvina, “considering what my life is.”

  CHAPTER VIII

  CICCIO

  Madame did not pick up her spirits, after her cold. For two days she lay in bed, attended by Mrs. Rollings and Alvina and the young men. But she was most careful never to give any room for scandal. The young men might not approach her save in the presence of some third party. And then it was strictly a visit of ceremony or business.

  “Oh, your Woodhouse, how glad I shall be when I have left it,” she said to Alvina. “I feel it is unlucky for me.”

  “Do you?” said Alvina. “But if you’d had this bad cold in some places, you might have been much worse, don’t you think.”

  “Oh my dear!” cried Madame. “Do you think I could confuse you in my dislike of this Woodhouse? Oh no! You are not Woodhouse. On the contrary, I think it is unkind for you also, this place. You look — also — what shall I say — thin, not very happy.”

  It was a note of interrogation.

  “I’m sure I dislike Woodhouse much more than you can,” replied Alvina.

  “I am sure. Yes! I am sure. I see it. Why don’t you go away? Why don’t you marry?”

  “Nobody wants to marry me,” said Alvina.

  Madame looked at her searchingly, with shrewd black eyes under her arched eyebrows.

  “How!” she exclaimed. “How don’t they? You are not bad looking, only a little too thin — too haggard — ”

  She watched Alvina. Alvina laughed uncomfortably.

  “Is there _nobody?_” persisted Madame.

  “Not now,” said Alvina. “Absolutely nobody.” She looked with a confused laugh into Madame’s strict black eyes. “You see I didn’t care for the Woodhouse young men, either. I _couldn’t_.”

  Madame nodded slowly up and down. A secret satisfaction came over her pallid, waxy countenance, in which her black eyes were like twin swift extraneous creatures: oddly like two bright little dark animals in the snow.

  “Sure!” she said, sapient. “Sure! How could you? But there are other men besides these here — ” She waved her hand to the window. “I don’t meet them, do I?” said Alvina.

  “No, not often. But sometimes! sometimes!”

  There was a silence between the two women, very pregnant. “Englishwomen,” said Madame, “are so practical. Why are they?”

  “I suppose they can’t help it,” said Alvina. “But they’re not half so practical and clever as you, Madame.”

  “Oh la — la! I am practical differently. I am practical im-practically — ” she stumbled over the words. “But your Sue now, in Jude the Obscure — is it not an interesting book? And is she not always too prac-tically practical. If she had been impractically practical she could have been quite happy. Do you know what I mean? — no. But she is ridiculous. Sue: so Anna Karénine. Ridiculous both. Don’t you think?”

  “Why?” said Alvina.

  “Why did they both make everybody unhappy, when they had the man they wanted, and enough money? I think they are both so silly. If they had been beaten, they would have lost all their practical ideas and troubles, merely forgot them, and been happy enough. I am a woman who says it. Such ideas they have are not tragical. No, not at all. They are nonsense, you see, nonsense. That is all. Nonsense. Sue and Anna, they are — non-sensical. That is all. No tragedy whatsoever. Nonsense. I am a woman. I know men also. And I know nonsense when I see it. Englishwomen are all nonsense: the worst women in the world for nonsense.”

  “Well, I am English,” said Alvina.

  “Yes, my dear, you are English. But you are not necessarily so nonsensical. Why are you at all?”

  “Nonsensical?” laughed Alvina. “But I don’t know what you call my nonsense.”

  “Ah,” said Madame wearily. “They never understand. But I like you, my dear. I am an old woman — ”

  “Younger than I,” said Alvina.

  “Younger than you, because I am practical from the heart, and not only from the head. You are not practical from the heart. And yet you have a heart.”

  “But all Englishwomen have good hearts,” protested Alvina.

  “No! No!” objected Madame. “They are all ve-ry kind, and ve-ry practical with their kindness. But they have no heart in all their kindness. It is all head, all head: the kindness of the head.”

  “I can’t agree with you,” said Alvina.

  “No. No. I don’t expect it. But I don’t mind. You are very kind to me, and I thank you. But it is from the head, you see. And so I thank you from the head. From the heart — no.”

  Madame plucked her white fingers together and laid them on her breast with a gesture of repudiation. Her black eyes stared spitefully.

  “But Madame,” said Alvina, nettled, “I should never be half such a good business woman as you. Isn’t that from the head?”

  “Ha! Of course! Of course you wouldn’t be a good business woman. Because you are kind from the head. I — ” she tapped her forehead and shook her head — ”I am not kind from the head. From the head I am business-woman, good business-woman. Of course I am a good business-woman — of course! But — ” here she changed her expression, widened her eyes, and laid he
r hand on her breast — ”when the heart speaks — then I listen with the heart. I do not listen with the head. The heart hears the heart. The head — that is another thing. But you have blue eyes, you cannot understand. Only dark eyes — ” She paused and mused.

  “And what about yellow eyes?” asked Alvina, laughing.

  Madame darted a look at her, her lips curling with a very faint, fine smile of derision. Yet for the first time her black eyes dilated and became warm.

  “Yellow eyes like Ciccio’s?” she said, with her great watchful eyes and her smiling, subtle mouth. “They are the darkest of all.” And she shook her head roguishly.

  “Are they!” said Alvina confusedly, feeling a blush burning up her throat into her face.

  “Ha — ha!” laughed Madame. “Ha-ha! I am an old woman, you see. My heart is old enough to be kind, and my head is old enough to be clever. My heart is kind to few people — very few — especially in this England. My young men know that. But perhaps to you it is kind.”

  “Thank you,” said Alvina.

  “There! From the head Thank you. It is not well done, you see. You see!”

  But Alvina ran away in confusion. She felt Madame was having her on a string.

  Mr. May enjoyed himself hugely playing Kishwégin. When Madame came downstairs Louis, who was a good satirical mimic, imitated him. Alvina happened to come into their sitting-room in the midst of their bursts of laughter. They all stopped and looked at her cautiously.

  “Continuez! Continuez!” said Madame to Louis. And to Alvina: “Sit down, my dear, and see what a good actor we have in our Louis.”

  Louis glanced round, laid his head a little on one side and drew in his chin, with Mr. May’s smirk exactly, and wagging his tail slightly, he commenced to play the false Kishwégin. He sidled and bridled and ejaculated with raised hands, and in the dumb show the tall Frenchman made such a ludicrous caricature of Mr. Houghton’s manager that Madame wept again with laughter, whilst Max leaned back against the wall and giggled continuously like some pot involuntarily boiling. Geoffrey spread his shut fists across the table and shouted with laughter, Ciccio threw back his head and showed all his teeth in a loud laugh of delighted derision. Alvina laughed also. But she flushed. There was a certain biting, annihilating quality in Louis’ derision of the absentee. And the others enjoyed it so much. At moments Alvina caught her lip between her teeth, it was so screamingly funny, and so annihilating. She laughed in spite of herself. In spite of herself she was shaken into a convulsion of laughter. Louis was masterful — he mastered her psyche. She laughed till her head lay helpless on the chair, she could not move. Helpless, inert she lay, in her orgasm of laughter. The end of Mr. May. Yet she was hurt.

  And then Madame wiped her own shrewd black eyes, and nodded slow approval. Suddenly Louis started and held up a warning finger. They all at once covered their smiles and pulled themselves together. Only Alvina lay silently laughing.

  “Oh, good morning, Mrs. Rollings!” they heard Mr. May’s voice. “Your company is lively. Is Miss Houghton here? May I go through?” They heard his quick little step and his quick little tap.

  “Come in,” called Madame.

  The Natcha-Kee-Tawaras all sat with straight faces. Only poor Alvina lay back in her chair in a new weak convulsion. Mr. May glanced quickly round, and advanced to Madame.

  “Oh, good-morning, Madame, so glad to see you downstairs,” he said, taking her hand and bowing ceremoniously. “Excuse my intruding on your mirth!” He looked archly round. Alvina was still incompetent. She lay leaning sideways in her chair, and could not even speak to him.

  “It was evidently a good joke,” he said. “May I hear it too?”

  “Oh,” said Madame, drawling. “It was no joke. It was only Louis making a fool of himself, doing a turn.”

  “Must have been a good one,” said Mr. May. “Can’t we put it on?”

  “No,” drawled Madame, “it was nothing — just a nonsensical mood of the moment. Won’t you sit down? You would like a little whiskey? — yes?”

  Max poured out whiskey and water for Mr. May.

  Alvina sat with her face averted, quiet, but unable to speak to Mr. May. Max and Louis had become polite. Geoffrey stared with his big, dark-blue eyes stolidly at the newcomer. Ciccio leaned with his arms on his knees, looking sideways under his long lashes at the inert Alvina.

  “Well,” said Madame, “and are you satisfied with your houses?”

  “Oh yes,” said Mr. May. “Quite! The two nights have been excellent. Excellent!”

  “Ah — I am glad. And Miss Houghton tells me I should not dance tomorrow, it is too soon.”

  “Miss Houghton knows,” said Mr. May archly.

  “Of course!” said Madame. “I must do as she tells me.”

  “Why yes, since it is for your good, and not hers.”

  “Of course! Of course! It is very kind of her.”

  “Miss Houghton is most kind — to every one,” said Mr. May.

  “I am sure,” said Madame. “And I am very glad you have been such a good Kishwégin. That is very nice also.”

  “Yes,” replied Mr. May. “I begin to wonder if I have mistaken my vocation. I should have been on the boards, instead of behind them.”

  “No doubt,” said Madame. “But it is a little late — ”

  The eyes of the foreigners, watching him, flattered Mr. May.

  “I’m afraid it is,” he said. “Yes. Popular taste is a mysterious thing. How do you feel, now? Do you feel they appreciate your work as much as they did?”

  Madame watched him with her black eyes.

  “No,” she replied. “They don’t. The pictures are driving us away. Perhaps we shall last for ten years more. And after that, we are finished.”

  “You think so,” said Mr. May, looking serious.

  “I am sure,” she said, nodding sagely.

  “But why is it?” said Mr. May, angry and petulant.

  “Why is it? I don’t know. I don’t know. The pictures are cheap, and they are easy, and they cost the audience nothing, no feeling of the heart, no appreciation of the spirit, cost them nothing of these. And so they like them, and they don’t like us, because they must feel the things we do, from the heart, and appreciate them from the spirit. There!”

  “And they don’t want to appreciate and to feel?” said Mr. May.

  “No. They don’t want. They want it all through the eye, and finished — so! Just curiosity, impertinent curiosity. That’s all. In all countries, the same. And so — in ten years’ time — no more Kishwégin at all.”

  “No. Then what future have you?” said Mr. May gloomily.

  “I may be dead — who knows. If not, I shall have my little apartment in Lausanne, or in Bellizona, and I shall be a bourgeoise once more, and the good Catholic which I am.”

  “Which I am also,” said Mr. May.

  “So! Are you? An American Catholic?”

  “Well — English — Irish — American.”

  “So!”

  Mr. May never felt more gloomy in his life than he did that day. Where, finally, was he to rest his troubled head?

  There was not all peace in the Natcha-Kee-Tawara group either. For Thursday, there was to be a change of program — ”Kishwégin’s Wedding — ” (with the white prisoner, be it said) — was to take the place of the previous scene. Max of course was the director of the rehearsal. Madame would not come near the theatre when she herself was not to be acting.

  Though very quiet and unobtrusive as a rule, Max could suddenly assume an air of hauteur and overbearing which was really very annoying. Geoffrey always fumed under it. But Ciccio it put into unholy, ungovernable tempers. For Max, suddenly, would reveal his contempt of the Eyetalian, as he called Ciccio, using the Cockney word.

  “Bah! quelle tête de veau,” said Max, suddenly contemptuous and angry because Ciccio, who really was slow at taking in the things said to him, had once more failed to understand.

  “Comment?” queried Ciccio
, in his slow, derisive way.

  “Comment.” sneered sneered Max, in echo. “_What? What_? Why what did I say? Calf’s-head I said. Pig’s-head, if that seems more suitable to you.”

  “To whom? To me or to you?” said Ciccio, sidling up.

  “To you, lout of an Italian.”

  Max’s colour was up, he held himself erect, his brown hair seemed to rise erect from his forehead, his blue eyes glared fierce.

  “That is to say, to me, from an uncivilized German pig, ah? ah?”

  All this in French. Alvina, as she sat at the piano, saw Max tall and blanched with anger; Ciccio with his neck stuck out, oblivious and convulsed with rage, stretching his neck at Max. All were in ordinary dress, but without coats, acting in their shirt-sleeves. Ciccio was clutching a property knife.

  “Now! None of that! None of that!” said Mr. May, peremptory. But Ciccio, stretching forward taut and immobile with rage, was quite unconscious. His hand was fast on his stage knife.

  “A dirty Eyetalian,” said Max, in English, turning to Mr. May. “They understand nothing.”

  But the last word was smothered in Ciccio’s spring and stab. Max half started on to his guard, received the blow on his collar-bone, near the pommel of the shoulder, reeled round on top of Mr. May, whilst Ciccio sprang like a cat down from the stage and bounded across the theatre and out of the door, leaving the knife rattling on the boards behind him. Max recovered and sprang like a demon, white with rage, straight out into the theatre after him.

  “Stop — stop — !” cried Mr. May.

  “Hake, Max! Max, Max, attends!” cried Louis and Geoffrey, as Louis sprang down after his friend. Thud went the boards again, with the spring of a man.

  Alvina, who had been seated waiting at the piano below, started up and overturned her chair as Ciccio rushed past her. Now Max, white, with set blue eyes, was upon her.

  “Don’t — !” she cried, lifting her hand to stop his progress. He saw her, swerved, and hesitated, turned to leap over the seats and avoid her, when Louis caught him and flung his arms round him.