Friends vs. Family

by C. L. Stone

  I laughed softly, bringing my fingers around to cover my mouth a little. “Victor,” I said, perplexed that he didn’t know. “You’re generous and strong and look out for me and fun and um...”

  “Handsome?”

  I giggled, nodding. “So if what's-her-name won’t talk to you, then she doesn’t deserve you. So next time you see her, go talk to her.”

  He backed his head up, eyebrows creasing in confusion again. “What do you mean?”

  I blushed. Helping out like this made my heart burn. But could I deny him my honesty? How much did I owe him for all the kind things he had done for me? “I said you should talk to her. What class is she in? She’s not in Japanese or history, is she? She must not be, or at least I haven’t noticed…”

  His lips parted and his cheeks tinted. He blew out a sigh, shaking his head as he swept a fingertip across his eyebrow. “God, Sang. I’m such an idiot.”

  “What did I say wrong? I’m sorry. I was just trying to help.”

  He laughed, shaking his head again. He dipped his hand into his pocket and removed a square black jewelry box. He opened the lid and held the box out to me.

  Inside was a small gold bracelet with a tiny heart charm.

  My heart fluttered. “It’s very pretty,” I whispered.

  Victor removed the bracelet from the confines of the box, and thrust the box back in his pocket. His eyes were a gentle rolling smolder. “I wanted to give this to you later,” he said. He collected my wrist to hold it up. With graceful fingers, he placed the bracelet on my arm. “I was never good at hanging onto gifts until the appropriate time. Besides, you’ve got all those new clothes. You need something nice to wear with them.”

  My face flamed, my lips trembled. “Victor,” I whispered. I understood what he was implying but the reality didn’t want to click in my brain. He couldn’t be serious. “The girl--”

  “Is beautiful, funny, and puts up with our wild, reckless group,” he said. He finished locking the bracelet on and held my hand up to let it glitter under the light from the garage. His thumb traced over the skin on the back of my hand. “And she’s the most brilliant and the most naive girl I’ve ever met. I’d give her anything she ever wanted to let me in. To trust me.”

  A thousand words jumbled into my throat, catching just short of my lips. What did this mean? I understood then that he had intended the bracelet for me and he had meant me the whole time. My mind tried to replay the conversation we just had. How could I have not realized who he was talking about? I wasn’t at all ready for something like this. The bracelet felt like it was burning against my skin at the same intensity as the fire in his eyes as he begged quietly for answers. I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t know the questions.

  “Hey,” a shout shattered through my awkward pause. Nathan hung from the inside garage door. “We’re going to eat it all if you don’t get in here.”

  Victor grumbled. “We’re coming,” he called back.

  Nathan disappeared back into the house.

  I sighed. “We should eat,” I said. It wasn’t what I really wanted to say. There was a lot I wanted to ask. Did this mean something? Was he still my friend?

  He smile softened and he took my hand, our fingers interlocking, his thumb traced my skin. “Let’s go.”

  As we walked back together, I fingered the bracelet on my wrist. I pressed my cheek to his shoulder.

  “You're welcome, Sang.”

  After everyone had eaten, I wanted to change into something else other than the skirt. It made it hard to sit in the bean bag chairs or on the floor. I took clothes with me upstairs to Kota’s bathroom and changed into the black shorts and a soft pink t-shirt I was going to sleep in.

  I leaned against the counter in Kota’s bathroom, tracing the bracelet at my wrist and thinking about Victor and worrying about my mother and the thousand other fears I’d pushed to the back of my mind all day. What happens on Monday when my sister and Danielle noticed the new clothes? How would I stop Danielle from taking everything if Marie let her? What would the other students think of my new clothes, mismatched on such a plain girl? What would my mother do to me if she ever learned the truth? And why was Victor so confusing?

  Everything was so far out of my control now, on the shoulders of guys from the Academy. That alone was the biggest cause for my fear. Before they invaded my life, I may not have been so free, but my life was predictable. Now I was a shattered mess, and the boys were blowing my tender shards across the floor, toward a destination I wasn’t privileged to know. Academy secrets.

  Maybe I would have been dead by now if they never intervened. I wasn’t ungrateful. I really liked them and hoped this family thing was true. I didn’t understand how it worked. Would I ever?

  I folded the clothes I had taken off and ran back downstairs to evade collapsing in on myself from all the overhanging fear and worry.

  Downstairs, the guys were waiting with a comedy paused on the title screen.

  “Hurry up, Sang,” Gabriel said.

  I ran over to where our book bags were and put the new clothes on top of mine. Kota, Silas and North were sitting together on the couch so there wasn’t any more room there. I scrambled over until I was in front of the bean bag chairs. A couple of them patted the empty seats next to them.

  I was about to plop down next to Gabriel since he was the closest when Luke bellowed. “No,” he said. “Over here.”

  I popped up and slid on my feet on the carpet over to Luke’s seat.

  “Sang Baby,” North said. “Will you sit that beautiful ass down, please?”

  “I’m trying,” I said, ignoring the compliment, assuming he was teasing me. They all laughed at me.

  I was lowering myself next to Luke when I felt a pinch on my butt. I yelped and jumped up, rubbing at the spot.

  Luke laughed, his hand on his chest. There was a roar of chuckling from everyone.

  “That’s it,” North said. He snapped his fingers at me. “Get over here.”

  “Uh oh,” Nathan said. “You’re in trouble now.”

  “Trouble is who she is,” Gabriel smirked at him. “That’s what I’ve been telling you.”

  I pushed my finger to my lip and crept over. I couldn’t believe Luke did that and now I was getting reprimanded. I glanced quickly at Victor, who seemed strangely at ease at the moment. He jerked his head toward North, as if to tell me to go.

  North leaned forward on the couch, curling his fingers at me. When I was close enough, he grabbed my hips and dragged me down until I was on his lap. I gasped in surprise, my face heating.

  “Looks like the only way we’ll get through this movie is to make you sit where I can reach you,” he said. He turned me until my back was against the side of the couch. He brought my legs up until my feet were tucked between his legs and Silas’.

  Silas shifted, picking my feet up and moving them until my knees were over his lap, his palm rested against my knee. My feet ended up in Kota’s lap.

  “We want her down here,” complained Gabriel. “Let her come back.”

  “No,” North said. “You guys had her all day. It’s our turn now.”

  “Let her come sit by me,” Luke said.

  “You lost that privilege when you pinched her,” he barked at him. “Now shut up and watch the damn movie.”

  My mind was whirling so much that I missed a good portion of the first part of the movie. All I could feel was North’s body against mine, with the fingers from one hand wrapped around my side and almost tickling my stomach. His other hand dropped onto my thigh. Silas had a hand on my knee. Kota’s fingers wrapped around my feet, warming my toes.

  It was like sitting in all of their laps at once. My heart thundered. My mind whirled. My body stiffened because I wasn’t sure if I should enjoy it. I wanted to but it was overwhelming. Again, I glanced at the other boys, especially at Victor. But no one seemed surprised. Victor shared a sympathetic smile with Luke. Nathan and Gabriel turned back toward the movie.

&
nbsp; North adjusted underneath me. He tucked his head until his lips traced my ear. “Relax, Sang baby.” He sucked in a deep breath, inhaling my new fragrance before he put his head up again to watch the movie.

  I tried to. I leaned against him more, resting my head against his chest as I tried to focus on the movie. I was breathing in the musk of his cologne, catching how it mixed with mine in such a pleasant way. I snuggled into him and stilled. He seemed happy with this, as his palm massaged at the small of my back.

  Halfway through the movie my butt was asleep. I adjusted so his thigh wasn’t pressed up against my butt bone. My shifting woke Kota up. I couldn’t see him behind Silas’ frame but his fingers started working over my feet. He started massaging my toes with an exquisite precision. I wriggled, forgetting the movie and feeling lost in touches and closeness and aromas.

  “Keep still,” North whispered to me.

  I tried to, snuggling into him. I moved my hands from my stomach and slipped a palm against his chest. My fingers trailed over his shirt against his heart.

  His body stiffened as bad as mine had earlier. I thought perhaps it tickled, so I switched from fingertips to the flat of my palm to smooth out the shirt.

  He grunted, hooked his arm under my thighs and picked me up. He deposited me into Kota’s lap and walked around the couch. I heard Kota’s bedroom door open, close again and North’s footsteps on the stairs.

  “Kota,” I whispered. “What...”

  He pushed a finger to my lips, stopping me from saying anything. “Don’t ask,” he whispered back.

  I snuggled into Kota’s lap, worried that I did something wrong. Kota’s hands rubbed at my back. He wasn’t massaging like before, but tracing his fingers over my shirt. I relaxed, my cheek pressed into his collarbone. I wasn’t facing the movie any more. With Kota rubbing me, I closed my eyes and listened to the boys laughing.

  F irst ever sleepover

  I woke up when the light was flicked on. The movie credits rolled on the screen. I rubbed at my eyes, sitting up and yawning.

  Kota laughed at me, brushing a lock of hair away from my cheek. “I guess it’s time to get some sleep,” he said. He picked me up as he stood and deposited me on Silas’ lap.

  Silas’ muscled arms wrapped around me, cradling me. It was almost warm and cozy enough to fall back asleep.

  “I’ll go get blankets,” Kota said.

  I blushed, wondering why I was deposited with Silas instead of just being put down on the couch but I was too lazy and comfortable to care. I didn’t mind anyway, I was just curious and confused.

  “You better keep your eyes on that one,” I heard North say behind me to Silas.

  “What’s the matter, North?” Silas asked. “Scared of a little girl?” There was a thud and Silas flinched but his eyes were laughing. I could only guess that North punched him in the arm.

  The others moved into action repositioning the bean bag chairs off to the side by the wall. Some of them left to go change and the others took over laying out blankets. I pushed myself off of Silas’ lap so I could help Victor when he came in with an armload of pillows. Silas got up and walked off to change.

  Seven makeshift beds were made across the floor, one on the couch. Gabriel wore red pajama bottoms and a fitted black tank shirt. Nathan, Silas and Luke wore shorts, no shirts. Victor had a white t-shirt and gray striped pajama bottoms. North wore black pajama bottoms and his black t-shirt. Kota wore a soft gray t-shirt, green pajama bottoms.

  We sat together as a group on top of the blankets in a circle. The others were talking about the movie. I sat between Luke and Nathan. Luke had a glass bottle in his hand and was taking sips from it.

  “What’s that?” I asked, nodding to his drink, noting the milky dark liquid. “Isn’t that coffee?”

  His eyes narrowed at me and nudged me in the arm with his elbow. “Maybe.”

  “Won’t that keep you up all night?”

  A chop landed on my head and Nathan leaned into me. “Drinks one coffee and she’s suddenly an expert.”

  I laughed. “I was just asking.”

  “Oy,” Gabriel said from across the circle. “Alright we’ve got do some girl shit,” he said.

  The others laughed at him.

  “No,” he said. “I mean for Sang.” He looked at me. “Girls do something like truth or dare or pillow fighting or something like that, right?”

  I blushed, shrugging. “I don’t know.” Who did he think I was? I’d told them before no one really talked to me and I wasn’t close to anyone. Didn’t they believe me?

  “What did you do...” Gabriel started but he caught on to my confused look and slapped a palm to his head, laughing. “God damn it, Sang. Why didn’t you tell me you’ve never done a sleepover thing? I thought girls did that stuff all the time.”

  Seven pairs of eyes landed on my face, seeking a million answers and my cheeks were radiating. My finger pushed at my lower lip. “I just... I mean... I don’t know.”

  “You all are forgetting her parents,” Nathan said, wrapping his fingers around my wrist to pull my hand away from my face. “She’s not even supposed to be here right now.”

  “We are all getting arrested if they figure this out,” North warned.

  “We’re not getting arrested,” Kota said. “But let’s stop talking about it for now.”

  “Right,” Gabriel said. He clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “Since it’s Sang’s first time, we’ve gotta do some girly shit. It’s truth or dare time.”

  “Try to keep the dares to a minimum,” Kota begged. “My mom’s probably asleep by now.”

  “Sang,” Gabriel said, fixing his crystals on me. “Truth or dare.”

  I pushed my lip into my lower teeth, tracing my finger across my mouth. “Truth?”

  Everyone groaned.

  “What?” I asked, and laughed. “I thought I had a choice.”

  “You’re no fun,” Gabriel said, he brushed his palm against his chin. “Okay, I know you haven’t kissed anyone but has a guy ever wanted or tried to kiss you?”

  Some mouths dropped open. Victor was sitting back against the base of the couch and his fire eyes caught mine out quickly. “You’ve never kissed anyone?”

  “Shut up,” Gabriel said. “I’m asking the question. I’m telling you, she’s never done it.”

  “We should do it now,” Luke said. “Get it over with.”

  “No,” Nathan barked at him. “First kisses are supposed to be all nice and stuff. You’re going to scar her for life making her do it now. No kiss dares.”

  There were arguments about this. Luke and Gabriel were vocal about getting kissing out of the way and one of them should do it. Nathan, Kota and Victor argued a first kiss for a girl had to be special. I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs and pressed my cheek to my knee. If I wanted to stop them from fighting again, I had to distract them.

  “There was a boy,” I said a little loudly to get their attention. When they heard me, they quieted. “I was in third grade,” I started, “it was snowing outside for recess and I was supposed to remain in the classroom. I had been sick the day before and my parents didn’t want me out in the cold. There was someone else there with me, I don’t remember who. He was playing on the computer in the back and I was just kind of watching him. Another boy walked in. He got sent in for being in trouble out on the playground.”

  “Huh,” North said. The others hushed him.

  “I don’t remember his name,” I continued. “He came in and watched whatever the other guy was doing for a moment and then asked me to follow him. I never talked to him before so I guess I was kind of surprised he wanted to. He had me go with him into the coat closet...”

  “I don’t know if I want to hear the rest of this story,” Luke said.

  There was a chorus of shushing.

  I pulled my cheek away from my knees to look up. “When I was inside, he closed the door and he said he wanted to kiss me. I was so shocked that
when he stepped up to me, I pushed him away.” I started to smile at the memory, shaking my head. “I don’t remember how it happened but he pushed back and suddenly I was on the ground. He was wrestling me, trying to kiss me. I remember really not wanting to. I think mostly it was because he was trying to make me and I didn’t think I needed to be made to kiss anyone.”

  “What an ass,” Gabriel said. “Did you make it out of the coat closet?”

  “That’s another question,” Kota said, grinning. “You only get one.”

  “It’s part of the same... God damn it, Kota.” He pulled a pillow out and tossed it at him.

  Kota caught the pillow in the air before it hit him. “Besides, if she’s never been kissed, then she got out of the closet fine without doing it.”

  “Oh yeah,” Gabriel said. “Good point.”

  “Your turn, Sang,” Nathan said. “Pick someone.”

  I closed my eyes and let my finger fly around the circle randomly. When I opened my eyes, I was pointing at Victor. “Truth or dare?” I asked.

  “Truth.”

  Everyone groaned again.

  I bit my lip trying to think of what to ask him. There were a million questions in my mind right then. What does this bracelet mean? What does opening up to you mean? I didn’t think it was the appropriate time, but it was tempting. I settled for something simple. “What did you say to me in Japanese on the first day of school? The kirei.. um...”

  Victor’s face turned red. “I don’t want to say it.”

  “You have to,” Gabriel said to him. “It’s the rules. You picked truth.”

  Victor grunted. He curled his fingers at me and leaned into the circle. “Come here. You’re asking. You’re the only one who gets to know.”

  “Oy! Cheating!” Gabriel howled.

  “Keep it down,” Kota said. “He’s right. She asked. He only has to tell her.”

  I crawled over until I was close enough for Victor to whisper in my ear.

  “Your eyes are beautiful,” he whispered.

  I blushed, trying to remember that day. He still barely knew me!