Snowstorm at Cedar Creek

by J. L. Jarvis

“Just like that?”

  Annie looked straight at Finn. “Just like Connor and Ella.”

  Finn slowly blinked and shook his head. “Which is why their marriage touched a raw nerve.”

  With an understanding nod, Annie said, “Connor’s great. I just hope he’s great for Ella. Neither of them has had very good role models in the marriage department.”

  “That’s a sobering thought. So you’re basically saying they’re doomed.”

  “No, they’ll be fine.” She said it emphatically, overcompensating for her nagging doubt.

  “And how will you be?”

  She hadn’t seen that question coming. She wasn’t sure how to react. “I’ll be fine. I’m always fine.” That was a lie.

  He gazed at her intently. “You are, aren’t you? You’ve managed to raise a child on your own, and you’ve made it look easy.”

  It was Annie’s turn to chuckle. “Well, that was all smoke and mirrors.”

  “No, I mean it. You’re pretty amazing.”

  Annie rolled her eyes and made a goofy face that she quickly regretted. Why couldn’t she just take a compliment?

  Finn turned, put his elbow on the back of the sofa, and rested his chin on his hand. “I’ve wondered why you never remarried.”

  Annie’s heart leapt to her throat. “Oh. Well. I don’t know.”

  “Did you even date?”

  Annie paused as though she needed to think about it. “No.”

  “Not even once?”

  “Not even.” She shrugged as if it wasn’t much of an issue.

  He lowered his chin then looked up knowingly. “Annie.”

  She waited and hoped he would just let it go, but that stare of his was relentless. “Okay. The truth is, Ella was great, and I was okay. So why ruin a good thing? Bringing a man into our lives would’ve thrown off a delicate balance at best. At worst, well, I just didn’t want to go there.”

  The look in Finn’s eyes just about broke her heart. It was an odd mix of sympathy, grief, and buried pain.

  “In some ways, our lives weren’t all that different,” Finn said. “We both lived for our kids and set our own needs aside. You know, sometimes, when we were here in the summers, I used to wonder—” He stopped abruptly and stood. “I’m a terrible host. Let me get you something to drink. What would you like? Soda? Coffee? Beer?”

  Wonder what? She was willing to sacrifice thirst to know what he’d been about to say, but he was already halfway to the kitchen, so she called out, “Water’s fine.” Wonder what?

  When he returned with their drinks, Annie took a sip then set the glass on the coffee table. She blurted out, “Wonder what?”

  The way he flinched made her worry he might spit out his soda. He set down his glass.

  She repeated, “You said you used to wonder.”

  “Did I?” He looked up and slowly shook his head. “I don’t remember. Must not have been very important.”

  “Finley Hilderman Burton, you’re lying.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  But she did. When he lied, he always glanced up and either ran his fingers through his hair or tapped his fingers on something. Of course, she wasn’t about to reveal that to him.

  He sank back and rested his head against the back of the sofa. “Okay. What about you? Have you ever wondered about us?”

  “So you used to wonder about us?”

  “I’ve said so, haven’t I?”

  “Well, no. You said that in Europe, you missed me. That’s more of a homesick sort of thing—not an ‘us’ thing.”

  He gazed into her eyes then glanced away. He drew in a breath and exhaled. “You got married, then I did, and there wasn’t an us. But there were times when we’d see each other from our separate yards, in our separate worlds. You looked very alone, and I felt very alone. At times like that, I wondered about us.” Still leaning his head back, he stared at the ceiling.

  Annie didn’t know how to answer him. No, that wasn’t true. She knew exactly how to answer him, but she was afraid to say it. The fact that he had been thinking of her while he was backpacking in Europe had been an enormous revelation, but this was even bigger. He’d kept on thinking about her and wondering about them. Her emotions were so close to the surface that with one word, the floodgates could open. That was all they needed right now—these feelings gushing all over the place. The potential flood damage alone would be appalling. But he looked so vulnerable. It all seemed so surreal.

  Finally, she managed to speak. “The thing about being alone is, it gets lonely. And you’re inside your own head all the time. It makes it hard to keep things in perspective.”

  “Perspective?”

  “Yeah?” Perspective. Brilliant.

  His eyes narrowed as he turned and stared. “Now who’s lying?”

  She could not look away. She felt breathless and helpless to do anything but tell him the truth. “Okay, yes. I wondered.”

  There! Are you happy? Because I have a feeling you’re about to break my heart all over again. So I hope you’re pleased with yourself! But if that’s what you wanted to hear, feel free to leap over to my side of the sofa and kiss me! Actually, I don’t care if you wanted to hear it or not. Just catapult that toned body over here and plant your lips on mine.

  Finn’s lips parted. He looked stunned, confused, and a tiny bit terrified.

  The door swung open, and Connor barged in. “I can’t talk about it now. I’m going to bed.”

  Like two deer facing headlights, Finn and Annie watched Connor storm past and climb up the ladder to his loft. Annie used to think the loft was so cozy and charming, but it was open to the downstairs. That meant they couldn’t talk, which apparently wasn’t a problem, since they seemed only able to stare at each other.

  Annie stood. “I should go home.”

  Finn sprang to his feet. “I’ll walk you home.”

  “That’s okay.”

  “Remember that time the summer after sophomore year in high school when we found that bear pawing at the garage door?”

  “Okay. Walk me home.” Finn grabbed his gun and holster from the gun safe, threw on a jacket, and turned on the outdoor floodlights, and they left.

  Anything important they might’ve discussed was left back in the cabin. They talked about the weather and how little snow they’d had so far this winter. When they got to her door, Finn said, “Are we still on for shopping on Saturday?”

  “Yes—provided Ella and Connor have worked things out by then.”

  Finn exhaled. “Couldn’t we just put them in time-out while we’re shopping?”

  Annie laughed. “I’m not saying the concept doesn’t have its merits, but probably not.”

  Finn shook his head and sighed. “That’s a shame. I’ll just pencil you in for Saturday.”

  “See you then.”

  As he walked away, he said, “Good night, Oakley.”

  11

  Annie was somewhat relieved to have a day off from Finn. A little distance might help improve her perspective. The timing couldn’t have been better. Ella and Connor weren’t arguing anymore. In fact, they weren’t talking at all. Annie couldn’t have taken the radio silence, but Ella was stubborn.

  Annie decided a little baking therapy might help shed light on the issue. They hadn’t had a good heart-to-heart talk since Ella had arrived, so this was a perfect opportunity for it. Annie pulled a batch of brownies from the oven while Ella dropped cookie dough onto baking sheets.

  Annie couldn’t seem to find the right words for her question, so she just asked it. “What happened? I’m sorry if I’m prying, but I don’t know how to help you.”

  Ella fixed her eyes on her mother for several long seconds. “You were right, okay?”

  Annie was taken aback. “That’s not why I was asking.”

  Ella sighed and glanced toward Finn’s cabin. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ve got a short fuse lately.”

  That was a gross understatement, but Annie ignored it. “That’s o
kay.”

  Ella put two cookie sheets into the oven and plopped down on a chair at the kitchen table. “Okay. We were at a Christmas party. He disappeared. I went looking for him. And I found him in the bedroom where the coats were laid out on the bed, tangled up in some woman’s arms.”

  “They were in bed?”

  “No! Sorry. I didn’t explain that very well.”

  Annie sighed with relief then hoped she hadn’t done it too loudly.

  “They were standing inside the door.”

  “Maybe they were just talking.” Even as she said it, Annie didn’t feel convinced.

  Ella stared knowingly.

  Annie averted her eyes. What was there to say that would help? Since Ella and Connor had arrived, Annie assumed they’d been arguing about petty household things, the sort of things couples quibble over when they’re really just having trouble adjusting to living together. But this was a whole other problem, one she couldn’t solve.

  Ella continued, “He might look like his father, but he’s just like his mother.”

  Annie knew she was treading on dangerous ground, so she didn’t say a word. Ella said, “His mother left Finn for somebody else. She had a wandering eye, and so does her son.”

  “You don’t know that—about either of them. They were married for over two decades. She couldn’t have wandered that much. It might just have been the one time.” Why am I defending Georgina? “And it doesn’t sound as though you’ve given Connor a chance to explain.”

  “Explain? Oh, I think I get it. People cheat.”

  Annie desperately wanted to find the right words, but what could she say? She didn’t want to believe Connor would cheat, but denying the possibility wasn’t fair to Ella either. “Okay, I’ll admit that it doesn’t look good.”

  Ella took a breath, but Annie continued before she could speak. “But what you saw could have a logical explanation.”

  Ella muttered, “Well, I’d like to know what it is.”

  Annie said gently, “You might try to give him the benefit of the doubt until you hear his side of the story.”

  “I heard enough, and I saw plenty. He’ll just keep making excuses.”

  “Like what?”

  “That she came on to him. Some nonsense about how he was just on his way to the bathroom when she appeared out of nowhere and threw herself at him. Like he wasn’t strong enough to defend himself against a woman a foot shorter than he is?”

  She understood how it must have made Ella feel, but the explanation sounded plausible to Annie. “Connor’s a good-looking guy.”

  Ella pouted. “I know. He put in a lot of gym time in college. You should see his abs. They’re amazing. And his shoulders. They’re all muscly. I’ll miss his shoulders.” She appeared close to tears.

  “So some woman found him attractive.”

  “I should have married a dumpy guy.”

  “Were they… kissing?” Don’t answer that. I don’t think I want to know.

  “No, but she had her arms around him like some sort of evil octopus woman!”

  “Look, I know I wasn’t crazy about the idea of you two getting married.”

  “If you’re going to say you told me so, I get it.”

  “No. I was going to say I know Connor. I’ve known him since he was a baby. I honestly think Connor is one of the good guys, so maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt.”

  Ella had the same wide-eyed, trusting look she had as a girl.

  “What if some guy cornered you at a party. Wouldn't you want Connor to believe you?”

  Reluctantly, she said, “Yeah, I guess.”

  Annie left out the part about how good people made mistakes too. Connor might be one of those guys. No one wants to think that the person they’ve fallen in love with could hurt them, but people did. How many women stayed in relationships with men who repeatedly hurt them? Annie would not let that happen to Ella. But before they went there, Ella needed the truth.

  “How will I know if I can believe him—read his mind?” Ella asked.

  “Maybe you could read his heart.”

  Ella leveled a condescending look at her mother. “Well, that’s a very romantic notion, Mother, but life isn’t like that, is it?”

  “Maybe not always, but I’d like to believe there are people in this world we can trust.”

  “Like you trusted my father?” It wasn’t like Ella to be this sarcastic.

  “Trust wasn’t the problem with Matt. He was just so caught up in his own life that he couldn’t bring himself to come back down from those thrilling heights he loved climbing to. I think he forgot I was there on the ground.” Annie was lost in the past for a moment. “But he was ecstatic about being a father. He adored you and couldn't wait to meet you.”

  Ella stared at the counter, deep in thought, then spoke softly. “Thanks, Mom.”

  “For what?”

  “For you.” She threw her arms around her mother’s neck.

  Annie hugged her. As she said a quick, silent prayer for her daughter, she lifted her chin and sniffed. “The cookies!”

  She pulled the two smoking cookie sheets out of the oven, each of which contained a dozen evenly spaced but charred discs. As Annie opened a window, she said, “If anyone deserves coal in their stocking, we’ve got it covered.”

  Connor followed Finn to the eighth tee. “Dad, nobody plays golf in December, at least not in upstate New York.”

  “They do if there’s no snow on the ground.”

  “Look around. We’re the only ones out here.”

  Finn stood tall and surveyed the landscape. “Fantastic, isn’t it?”

  Connor raised an eyebrow.

  “Come on, where is your spirit of adventure?”

  “I think it’s frozen, along with my toes.”

  Finn clapped a hand on Connor’s shoulder. “Man up, son!”

  Connor turned a blank stare on his father. “Those parts are frozen too.”

  Finn suppressed a mischievous smile. Truth be told, he was chilled through. “How ’bout we finish the front nine and go grab a beer?”

  “Yes!”

  When they finished the ninth hole, Finn bent down to get his ball and stood up to find Connor had shouldered his bag and was on his way back to the car. It was Finn’s turn to keep up with Connor. “The clubhouse is closed for the season.”

  Connor muttered, “Can’t imagine why.”

  “So we can stop at the bar in the village.”

  “Sounds perfect.” Finn was sure Connor would have found pretty much anything perfect by this point.

  On the way back to town, they dissected their golf swings and putting techniques. By the time they took their seats at the bar, they were ready for a new topic, which Connor quickly supplied. “So, what’s going on with you and Annie?”

  Blindsided, Finn drew back. “Going on?”

  “Oh, come on, Dad. It’s obvious. You two have a vibe.”

  “A vibe?” Finn’s mind raced. He couldn’t just keep echoing Connor.

  “Ella and I both picked up on it. It’s okay. Mom has moved on. Now it’s your turn.”

  “There’s no vibe, and I don’t need to move anywhere.”

  “I didn’t mean literally.” Connor looked a little surprised by his father’s reaction. “I just meant you don’t have to hide it from us.”

  All Finn could manage was a numb stare. If he didn’t shut this down, it would only get worse. “I think it’s nice that you and Ella have so much time on your hands to talk about us, but the more important question is, what’s going on with you two?”

  Connor clenched his jaw. “Ella is wrong, and she’s stubborn.”

  Finn slowly nodded. “It’s a good thing that you’re not.”

  Connor stared at his beer. “You don’t understand.”

  Finn narrowed his eyes. “You’re right. How could I possibly understand what it’s like to be married?” He added under his breath, “For a week.”

  “Okay. Short version
: She thinks I did something wrong. I did not. And she doesn’t trust me.”

  Finn might have found it amusing if Connor weren’t so clearly distraught. “Whatever it is, this issue isn’t going anywhere unless you two talk.”

  Connor shook his head. “If she doesn’t want to listen to my side of the story, then fine. It’s a matter of pride.”

  “Pride has no place in a marriage.” Finn was only half joking. “Look, why don’t you tell me what happened?” While Connor mulled it over, Finn ordered another round.

  Connor stared at the bottles lined up on the bar then drew in a breath and began. “We were at my office Christmas party. I’m the new guy, so I had to go. I don’t start until after the new year, but my boss thought this would give me a chance to meet everyone. I didn’t really know anyone yet, so it was going to be awkward. We were just going to make an appearance then duck out and go have a holiday drink somewhere festive. We’d been there for maybe a half hour. We were actually having a good time. The people were nice. We even had some decent conversations, which doesn’t always happen at that sort of thing. I was heading to the bathroom for a pit stop when a woman I had chatted with for maybe two minutes stopped me and asked if I knew where the coats were.

  “I didn’t even remember her name. I didn’t care. She looked a little unsteady, so I thought I should help her and maybe call her a car share. She was in no shape to drive. So if anything happened, I’d feel terrible. So we walked past a couple rooms, found the coats piled on a bed, and we looked for hers. She crawled onto the bed. I thought she was going to pass out. By that time, I decided this was above my pay grade, and I needed to get the hosts involved. I was on my way to the door when she came up to me, grabbed my necktie, and tried to pull me into her arms.” Connor glanced at his father. “I was pushing her away when I saw Ella in the doorway.”

  Finn peered into Connor’s eyes, searching for any of the usual signs he was lying. Finn never had very much reason to doubt his son, but sometimes people were tempted. People made mistakes.

  Connor looked straight into his eyes. “Dad, nothing happened.”

  Finn believed him. If Connor was lying, he deserved some sort of acting award. But he’d seen his son’s fourth-grade play. Connor couldn’t act this well.