Hard Pass: An Enemies to Lovers Romance

by K. G. Reuss

  “Here?” I asked softly, my heart fluttering as I gazed up at him.

  “It’s where dessert should be eaten,” he answered, pushing my back flat to the table.

  I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. The words faltered on my lips as he shoved my skirt up and tugged my panties down. His warm mouth met my hot center, his tongue delving inside.

  I let my legs fall aside.

  Who was I to deny a hungry man dessert?

  Friday passed in blissful togetherness. It felt so real, being with Travis. We laughed and teased and watched movies and acted like a real couple. And the sex… The sex made everything between us so much more intense. I didn’t want our alone time to end. But we only had one day left before Ava returned and our vacation from the real world was over.

  Part of me didn’t want to open my eyes because I wanted to pretend our time together wasn’t almost over. But the other part of me wanted to enjoy every possible minute with Travis while I could.

  Slowly, I stretched my legs, enjoying the slight ache. After a night with Travis buried to the hilt inside me, we awoke to sunlight streaming in through my bedroom window. Or at least I did. Travis lay with me in his arms, staring at my ceiling.

  “Morning,” I murmured.

  “Hey,” he answered back softly.

  “Are you OK?”

  His Adam’s apple bobbed before he cast me a quick smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

  “Yeah. No. I don’t know.” He rubbed his chest, his brows crinkled.

  “Do you want to talk about it? Bad dream?”

  “No. I, uh, think I should go. I haven’t been home in a few days. Brandon might have burned the frat house down with his attempt at a late Thanksgiving dinner.” He untangled himself from me and got to his feet before pulling his boxers and pants on. I watched him with a frown on my face. His movements seemed stiff.

  “Did I do something—”

  He leaned down and gave me a soft kiss. “No. You’re perfect, Lexy. I’ll see you later, OK?”

  “OK,” I managed to say, worry coursing through me as he finished dressing.

  He was acting weird. This wasn’t the Travis I’d come to know.

  I sat in bed, my sheets tangled around my body, as he left the room without looking back.

  “Hey, what are you doing sitting in the dark?” Ava asked as she stepped into the living room later that evening with her suitcase in hand.

  “What are you doing home early?” I asked.

  “It’s a long story. Now, you didn’t answer my question. Why are you just sitting here in the dark?”

  “Moping,” I muttered.

  “Why?”

  I dropped the spoon into the container of ice cream I’d been devouring and let out a sigh. Travis hadn’t text me all day. I’d been tempted to message him, but it felt needy and weird, definitely two things I wasn’t. Or hadn’t been.

  “Ava? Can I talk to you?”

  “Sure, babe.” She padded over to me in her socks and sank onto the couch beside me and took my ice cream. I watched as she placed it on the table. “Spill.”

  “You’re going to be so mad at me.”

  “I’ve never been mad at you a day in my life, Lex. Come on. What’s going on?”

  “Travis,” I whispered.

  “Travis? What did that ass hat do now? I’ll beat his ass, Lex. Just say the word.”

  “Shit.” I rubbed my eyes. “I don’t know how to say this.”

  “OK. Now you’re scaring me. Tell me before I have a panic attack.”

  “I slept with him.” The words came out in a rush. Ava’s eyes widened, and her mouth fell open.

  “Wait. What did you just say?”

  “It was in Vegas,” I continued thickly.

  “I knew it!” Ava shouted, finally snapping out of it. “I knew it! You guys were being way too weird! Oh my god. Tell me everything. How was it?”

  “I don’t remember. I was drunk.”

  “Damn,” she muttered, flopping back against the cushions.

  “But the next time was really good. Like amazing.”

  “Wait.” She sat up, her eyes wide again. “You did it more than once?”

  I nodded slowly.

  “Wow. This has been going on since Vegas?”

  I shrugged. “We just started sleeping together recently. We have an agreement.” Then I launched into telling her the details. She gaped at me wordlessly until I finished.

  “And you think you might be catching feelings, and he’s not interested,” she summarized with a sigh.

  I nodded morosely. “There’s more.”

  “Oh my god. Tell me you aren’t pregnant.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Then what the hell else is there?”

  I held up my hand with my wedding band on it.

  “Are you fucking kidding me? It’s real?” she yelped, getting to her feet.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. “Yep.” I popped the P and sat back against the cushions.

  “Travis was being honest in that interview he gave. Holy shit. What are you going to do?” She sat beside me again.

  “We agreed to stay married until after the football season. It goes hand-in-hand with the other plan. Play pretend until it’s over.”

  “Jesus, Lex. I thought you guys were just playing, but this is super serious. Babe, are you OK? Like, for real.”

  “I don’t know. He left so fast this morning and was acting weird. I’m not this girl, Ava. What the hell is happening to me?”

  “You’ve been Travised. That boy leaves a trail of heartbreak wherever he goes. You know that, Lex. You need to talk to him. Break this off early before you fall too hard.”

  I nodded and bit my lip. “I should, but I don’t know, Ava. I don’t know if I can, you know? What if this is all there is? I’m having fun. He makes me happy.”

  “Oh, sweetie.” She sighed and squeezed my hand. “Do what makes you happy. But know that it can end with you being miserable. I’d still talk to him. I think that’ll help you decide the next step.”

  “Yeah. Or maybe I wait for him to come back. If he doesn’t, I’ll let it go.”

  “Do you think you can let it go if it comes to it?”

  “Yes. I have to. I mean, I should try to distance myself a little so it’s not such a blow. It’s definitely going to happen. We’ll go back to whatever the hell we were before all this shit. It’ll be fine.”

  The dubious look on Ava’s face said all it needed to say. I brushed it off.

  “How was your weekend?”

  She smiled sadly. “Not great. In fact, there’s something I need to tell you too.”

  “Will we need more ice cream?”

  “Yeah,” she chuckled softly and wiped a tear from her eye. I leaned forward, concern flooding me.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Well, while you’ve been with Travis, I’ve, um, been seeing Alex.”

  I had to lean into her to hear her.

  “Alex?”

  She nodded sadly. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have. I should’ve told you, Lex. I’m a screw up too. We fought all weekend and broke up.”

  I reached out and hugged her, both of us rocking one another.

  “I’ll get more ice cream,” I murmured. “Tell me everything.”

  She sniffled and pulled away, her voice cracking. “OK. I’ll turn off our phones.”

  I nodded and got to my feet.

  It was going to be a long night.

  Fifty-Two

  Travis

  I’m an asshole.

  As I sat on my bed after my shower, I scowled down at the ring I’d bought Lexy in Vegas. It was the one she’d looked at in that damn window. I didn’t even know what I was thinking when I’d bought it. Or maybe I did and just didn’t want to explore it. All I knew was she liked it, and I thought it was perfect for her, unlike me who’d been a total dick to her earlier by bailing without a believable explanation.

 
I’d freaked out and left Lexy after spending an incredible weekend with her. My feelings for her choked me. The possibilities.

  I knew I’d told myself to hell with it, but those what ifs kept racing through my head. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. When this was over, I still wanted her to talk to me.

  It all started as a game. Now I was in too deep and struggling to find my footing. I needed something to ground me.

  It came in the form of Brandon.

  “Bro! Party on Dodge Street. Lacrosse team is having a rager to celebrate Thanksgiving before classes start again.” Brandon pounded on my bedroom door. Going wasn’t the best idea, but it was better than sitting around pissing and moaning about what an asshole I was being.

  I left the bathroom and got dressed. Then I made my way downstairs to find Brandon, Mason, and Alex all standing around.

  “There he is? How many chicks you tag over the weekend?” Brandon grinned at me.

  “Only one.”

  “One?” He lifted a brow at me. “We’ll fix that tonight, man. Those numbers are too low for you. You sick or something?”

  “Something,” I muttered. “And I’m not interested in fixing them,” I added when Mason shot me a warning look.

  “What’s with you guys?” Brandon scoffed, glancing at Alex who looked like someone just informed him his birthday had been canceled.

  “I had a bad weekend,” Alex grunted. “Fucking chicks, man.”

  “Good grief. Let’s go, you whiney asses,” Mason grumbled, nodding for us to follow him to the door. We all went outside and piled into Brandon’s car. I peered down at my phone, feeling sad. I wanted to text Lexy. But I couldn’t. Not yet. My head needed to be clearer before I had any sort of conversation with her.

  I darkened the screen and stared out the window, listening to Mason and Brandon bicker about what song to play. When we got to the party, we made our way inside. Loud music, strobing lights, and smoke greeted us.

  “Oh my god! Travis!” Stephanie squealed, rushing over to me.

  Mason shot me another look that I chose to not acknowledge.

  “Hey, Steph,” I greeted her awkwardly, moving away from her attempted drunken hug. She giggled and came in for a second try. I gave her a quick pat on the back and cleared my throat.

  “I’m so glad you came out! You’ve been MIA so long! And you never texted me back yesterday after you told me to text you sometime. What’s up with that?” She jutted out her bottom lip at me.

  “Got busy.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Alex, can you believe Travis and your sister are trying to make this thing happen?”

  “What?” Alex frowned, leaning in to hear her.

  She rolled her eyes. “Travis and Lexy. He told everyone in that interview they’re married. They play house together and everything. How stupid is that?”

  Alex glanced at me, his frown deepening as I shifted uncomfortably in my spot.

  “It is stupid. But it’s for their project.”

  “He spent the night with her over the weekend, though.” Steph pouted.

  Alex glanced at me again. “What? Did you?”

  “We had Thanksgiving together. I helped her cook. Fell asleep there,” I muttered.

  “It’s cool, man. Let’s get a drink,” Mason cut in, clearing his throat.

  Alex grunted and cast me one more scrutinizing look before following Mason to the keg. Brandon hovered awkwardly.

  “Travis, Brian is here. We should, uh, go see what he wants.” Brandon nodded his head to Brian, one of the football guys.

  “Yeah. We better,” I said. “Steph, I’ll talk to you later.”

  “We won’t do much talking.” She winked at me before going up on her tip toes and whispering in my ear, “We’ll be too busy for that.” And with that, she sashayed away, drink in hand.

  I sighed and looked to Brandon.

  “You’re welcome. That chick is crazy as shit.” Brandon grinned.

  “She’s something.” I followed him through the room. Alex and Mason had vacated the keg and were talking to a couple lacrosse guys.

  “So what’s going on with you and Lexy? Anything happen with that yet?” Brandon handed me a cup of beer.

  I slammed it down, my chest aching. I didn’t want to be there. All I wanted was to see her.

  “I’m in over my head,” I said sadly, taking another beer. “I just want to get drunk and forget, OK?”

  “Consider it done.”

  We clinked our plastic cups together and drank deeply. It didn’t help. By midnight, I was so wasted I could barely stand. And everything I wanted to forget seemed more in focus. I had to push Steph away two more times before I stumbled outside with Mason behind me.

  “You’re so fucked up.” Mason chortled as I leaned against the side of the house, my world spinning. “Is it helping?”

  “It’s making it fucking worse.”

  “You’re an idiot. Just go to her. Jay’s sober like always. I’m sure he’ll take you if you ask.”

  I hauled in a deep breath and pulled out my phone. I’d set a photo of the two of us as my homescreen. In it, she was beside me in bed, smiling a tiny smile as I nuzzled her neck. It was a bold move because if Alex ever saw it, he’d kick my ass. I knew that going into this. I knew it more tonight when he’d looked at me. Lexy was off-limits. That hadn’t changed.

  But I didn’t care. I wanted to see her. I needed to apologize. It ate at me to the point where staying at the party was only causing me more harm than good.

  “Get Jay,” I slurred, downing my final drink.

  “Thatta boy.” Mason clapped me on the back and ran off. I stared up at two moons, or one blurred into two, and let out a sigh.

  “Lexy,” I whispered her name, my heart racing. “I’m coming, baby.”

  Fifty-Three

  Lexy

  Ava and I had lamented our woes into our ice cream containers and watched sad romance movies for the rest of the day. It did nothing for either of us but make us more misty-eyed, so I retired to bed early. She followed soon after, her door clicking softly behind her. I’d given her my blessing with Alex, but she said it was over. It wasn’t over. I recognized that look in her eyes. She wanted him. They’d be good together, so I hoped they’d find their way back.

  I didn’t bother texting or calling Travis because he’d been so weird when he left. I knew the look on his face. Fear. Regret. They’d kept warring it out. It wasn’t the first time I’d noticed it on him either.

  So when there was a loud pounding on my door in the wee hours of the morning, I shuffled out of bed and peered out the peephole to see Travis leaning against the doorframe. I tugged the door open and stared up at him.

  “Travis?”

  “Wife,” he slurred.

  I wrinkled my nose as the smell of alcohol permeated from him.

  “Ugh, are you wasted?”

  “Like a trash can, baby.” He stumbled into me, his hands cupping my ass cheeks.

  “How did you get here?” I asked, looking past him as he buried his face in my neck and kissed me.

  “Jay and Mason. And Brandon. I told them I was going to go see my wife.” His hands moved up to my waist. “God, baby. You smell so good.”

  “Travis, why are you drunk?”

  “What? I can’t go out with my boys now?” He pulled away and frowned down at me.

  “You can do whatever the hell you want until it involves me holding you up as you stumble and slur.”

  He frowned, closed his eyes, and hauled in a deep breath. “You’re right. I’m being an asshole. I’m trying to work on that, you know.”

  “I know,” I muttered.

  “Hey, I’m sorry. I should’ve called you. I got caught up in…I don’t know. I went to a party. Steph was there—”

  “You went out with Stephanie?” My voice rose an octave.

  His frown deepened as he opened his eyes. “I didn’t go out with her. She was already there when we got there. It’s not a big
deal. Cami was there too, I think. The brunette—”

  “I don’t give a shit who she is,” I snapped, untangling myself from him. “Why are you here, Travis?”

  “What?”

  “Why are you here? Clearly you were at a party with your boys and hanging out with Stephanie.”

  “Because you’re my wife.” His voice was small as he tried to focus his gaze on me.

  I shook my head and glared at him, pissed because he’d blown me off all day only to come to me drunk off his ass.

  “Honey pot, don’t be mad. I missed you. I came to you.” He stumbled toward me and pulled me in for a hug. “Don’t be mad. Please.”

  I grunted, not saying anything. What could I say? We were only playing pretend. I shouldn’t care what he did or who he did it with. Shaking the hurt over his actions was hard though.

  “I’m not. I’m tired. I should be sleeping.”

  “I’m sorry. I got caught up with the guys a-and with all my shit, Lex. I should’ve called you,” he slurred again.

  “You don’t need to call me, Travis. This isn’t real, remember?”

  “Feels real to me,” he murmured. “You feel real. Making love over and over all weekend felt real. Pretty sure you’re denying what this is, Lexy.”

  “What is it?” I asked, tensing as I waited for his answer. Would he say he wanted this? Would I say I did too?

  He pissed me off like no one else, but yes. God, yes. I wanted this. And that was where all the hurt and anger came from. I didn’t want to want it. We were too different. Our lives were headed in opposite directions. Could it even work?

  “You already know,” he said softly, kissing my lips.

  My heart thudded in my ears as I waited for his judgement.

  “Do I?” I asked, not kissing him back, which took all the willpower I had.

  “Mhmm. You’re my wife. My sweetheart. My good luck charm. I’m a better man when you’re around.”

  “Is that all?”

  “No,” he chuckled softly, his words slurring. “The rest is a secret.”

  My chest deflated. He wasn’t giving up the secret.