The Army Doc's Baby Secret

by Charlotte Hawkes

‘He already told me.’ Zeke wasn’t prepared for the grin that suddenly split his face. ‘He was really quite adamant about it.’

  ‘Yes, that’s Seth.’

  ‘If I remember rightly, his exact words were that a rhino shares about as much DNA with a triceratops as it does with a human.’

  ‘Did he mention that rhinos actually belong to the same order as horses? That’s usually one of his favourite facts.’

  It was the lopsided smile that got him. Exactly the same smile that had graced the face of his son only an hour earlier, like a tiny glimpse into the purest of souls.

  ‘He did actually—’ Zeke laughed quietly ‘—alongside a whole host of other facts which he had clearly decided I really ought to know. Then he told me they might have been the original unicorn, so I began to explain that unicorns didn’t really exist...’

  ‘I don’t imagine that went down well.’ She began to chuckle and Zeke’s chest pulled unexpectedly tight.

  Painful.

  How much had he missed that sound over the last few years? How had he forgotten the way it had always slipped through him, making him feel happy? Contented.

  Or maybe that was the point. He hadn’t forgotten. He’d merely thrust it aside, locked it in the deepest, darkest pit, and pretended that part of his life hadn’t existed. Because he hadn’t been sure if he deserved such happiness.

  He forced himself to smile. But not to feel anything more.

  ‘It didn’t. He cast a solemn glance at me and informed me, with what sounded a lot like disappointment, that obviously unicorns didn’t really exist, but that it was possible that rhinos had been behind the original myth.’

  ‘Oh, believe me, I know that tone.’ Tia laughed again, a deeper sound, which he couldn’t pretend he didn’t recognise.

  It was surreal.

  Five years ago they would hardly have been able to stand in this room together without tearing each other’s clothes off. Now they were standing here discussing their son.

  Their son.

  It didn’t seem possible.

  ‘You’ve done an incredible job with Seth,’ Zeke managed, suddenly.

  The laughter died on her lips as she chewed them uncertainly.

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘I mean it. He’s a bright, happy, confident little boy. I had no right the other night...threatening a custody battle with you.’

  For a moment, she didn’t answer.

  ‘I’m sorry, Tia. I really am.’

  She still didn’t respond, but began to move slowly around the room, dragging her hand over the few trinkets that he allowed to adorn the place. The things that made the place look, if not homely, at least less sparse.

  Belatedly, now, he realised they were all items that had been in the home they had once, briefly, shared.

  ‘I’d have thought you would have got rid of these.’

  He shrugged but her back was still to him. Probably he should have got rid of them. But he hadn’t. What else was there to say?

  Because he very much feared that they said too much as it was. That they revealed the sad truth that he hadn’t moved on from her, however much he’d claimed to have done. He had a new mansion, a new multimillion-pound business, and a new way to save lives.

  But ever since Tia had walked back into his life, he hadn’t been able to shake the unsettling feeling that all these achievements had been little more than him marking time.

  Waiting for her.

  It was pathetic. Infuriating. And regrettably undeniable.

  But the more she looked around his study, his private sanctuary, the more he feared she could read into his heart. Before he could think about it, he heard himself speaking again.

  ‘Come out with me tomorrow tonight.’

  Less of a request and more of a demand. At least it made Tia turn, and stop analysing his study.

  ‘To where?’

  ‘The Mayor’s Charity Ball.’

  She narrowed her eyes, assessing him.

  ‘It doesn’t sound like your kind of thing.’

  He grimaced.

  ‘Z-Black needs a new permit and the mayor isn’t convinced. I could do with a little moral support.’

  ‘Since when do you need any kind of support?’ Tia asked warily.

  There was no reason at all for his heart to be hammering so wildly. Like an adolescent boy asking out his crush for the very first time.

  ‘It couldn’t do any harm. It’s a nice night out, apparently, and you would be my date.’

  In an instant, Tia went from smiling to on edge.

  ‘I... I can’t.’

  ‘Why not?’ It was as though he could almost taste victory only for it to be snatched away from right in front of him.

  ‘Seth, for a start,’ she announced, as though convinced it would satisfy any concerns.

  ‘Mme Leroy would love to babysit for the evening.’

  ‘Right. Well. I don’t have a dress. Galas haven’t really been high on my priority list the last few years.’

  ‘I’ll have someone bring a selection over within the hour,’ he countered.

  She pursed her lips, leaning her hands on the back of the couch and eying him apprehensively.

  ‘Zeke, is this really such a good idea? Won’t people...talk?’

  ‘A married couple attending together. Yes, I can see how that would make the headlines.’ He laughed, making her feel foolish despite everything.

  ‘Surely you can’t really need me there?’

  ‘I do,’ he said simply.

  And when she blinked at the uncomplicated emotion in his words, something clenched low in his stomach. He found himself not wanting to give her the chance to back away.

  ‘Go and get ready to collect Seth, Tia, have some time together. I’ll set the rest up.’

  ‘I can help for a few moments.’

  ‘Go, Tia,’ he growled. ‘I’ll deal with it.’

  And then, before she could argue any more, he strode around the desk, tucked the rhino picture neatly under the glass paperweight on top of his desk, and flicked out his mobile phone, as though his momentum could somehow galvanise Tia, too.

  Either way he took it as a small victory when, a few moments later, she turned and headed out of his study.

  It felt like less of a victory when he heard his son’s shout of delight following a splash and found himself standing at the study window, which overlooked the covered infinity pool, less than ten minutes later, unable to drag his gaze from the sight of his wife stepping out in peacock-blue and executing a graceful dive into the perfectly still waters.

  He wanted her with an almost overwhelming intensity.

  What the hell was he playing at?

  Tia was supposed to be a part of his history, his past. Not something he had to poke at every available opportunity. Like sticking his tongue against a loose tooth when he’d been a kid.

  The sooner he remembered that, the better.

  * * *

  ‘Where’s Zeke?’ Seth demanded as the two of them headed to the pool together. ‘Isn’t he coming swimming?’

  ‘No, sweetheart, he had to work.’

  ‘Oh.’ Seth peered at her. ‘I thought it might have been because he couldn’t get his robot leg wet.’

  Tia froze, feeling as though her entire body were twisting itself around and around as she turned to her son.

  ‘What do you know about Zeke’s leg?’

  ‘Oh, he has one real one and one robot one,’ Seth declared. ‘Didn’t you know?’

  ‘Yes,’ she nodded, relieved he clearly didn’t know that she had been the one to amputate. ‘I did know that, actually. But how do you?’

  ‘I’ve seen it.’

  A gurgle rippled through her. Of course Seth had seen it; Zeke wore shorts out here. It was practical, and
suddenly a vivid memory rushed her of the time when, five years ago, the rehab centre had told her to stop worrying about Zeke hiding his leg and give him time, telling her that most of their amputees came to wear their limbs like a badge of honour.

  Back then, she’d never believed it would be Zeke.

  Every time he’d looked at his legs, he’d had such an expression of loathing. Whether at her for amputating, or at himself for living when his buddies had died, she’d never quite been sure.

  It was better than hiding away and feeling somehow ‘defective’, as Zeke called it.

  ‘Plus, you know, he has taken it off for me.’

  Tia snapped her head around to Seth.

  ‘Zeke has taken his leg off for you?’

  That was some level of trust. It was ridiculous that she should feel jealous of her son. Or that it rankled so much that Zeke appeared more comfortable to show Seth his amputation than he felt with her.

  She tried to shake the foolish notion off, but she couldn’t.

  ‘He took it off this morning to show the other kids with robot arms or legs.’

  ‘What other kids?’

  ‘At the sailing school we went to. You remember, Mummy.’

  She remembered that Zeke and Seth had been spending some time getting to know each other whilst she was carrying out the medical training that morning. But she’d had no idea Zeke had been planning to take his son to a sailing school. And certainly not that it had been for other amputees. But how utterly Zeke.

  It was wonderful that he was bonding with his son, over something he loved so dearly. And it was utterly nonsensical for her to feel excluded.

  So why did she?

  ‘I didn’t know you were going to a sailing school, that’s all.’ She plastered a bright smile to her lips. ‘I think sailing is a lovely hobby to have.’

  ‘Come with us,’ Seth declared suddenly. ‘We’re going back tomorrow. I think there’s going to be a race.’

  ‘I have to lead another medical training exercise,’ she realised. ‘But Zeke will look after you. Just remember to listen to everything he tells you to do. He’s an incredible coxswain.’

  ‘That’s the person who steers the ship,’ her son told her proudly. ‘Zeke explained it to me today. He told me that he set up the sailing school to help children who lost their arms or legs just like he did. Only he was a soldier, Mummy. Like you were. Isn’t that cool?’

  ‘Very cool,’ she agreed, cranking her tight smile up a notch.

  The last thing she wanted was for Seth to think that she objected to him spending time with his father—not that he even knew that was who Zeke was.

  Lifting her hand to her head, she massaged her temples. It shouldn’t feel this complicated, and she should be pleased that Zeke was sharing such a vital part of his life with his son, and it was clear he was doing it in such a way that Seth thought it all terribly cool. But there was a part of her that felt...odd.

  As though Zeke was able to open his life up to his son in a way he had never been able to do with her.

  Even before the accident.

  But surely that was insane?

  Still, she couldn’t escape the disconcerting notion that he had avoided doing anything with his leg since she had arrived. The way he’d been getting out of his wet gear at the lifeboat station that night. The way he’d been at his house when she’d been there. Even here.

  As though he was okay with her seeing it if he was dressed, but that he couldn’t let her see him with nothing but the prosthetic.

  Which was ridiculous, given the way he’d made her orgasm with such wild abandon.

  But, as she sat at the poolside, her feet dipped into the cool water, Tia pondered the problem and wondered if tomorrow she might now find a way to pop down to the sailing school and see Zeke in action, after all.

  Not that she wanted to get closer to Zeke for her own benefit, of course. But it would be a good thing to do now that he was going to be a part of Seth’s life.

  CHAPTER NINE

  ‘YOUR LITTLE BOY is loving his time here, isn’t he?’ Netty, one of the other mothers, laughed as she watched Seth run after her own son, both of them shrieking with delight.

  Tia also watched the boys play. Seth and Robbie—who had lost his right arm aged two because of meningitis—had apparently become firm friends in the week they had been together. It was a shame that in a few days Netty would be taking him home, her week-long holiday over.

  ‘Seth adores it,’ Tia acknowledged. ‘And Zeke loved sharing his passion for sailing with him.’

  ‘So you and Zeke are...?’

  Tia paused.

  ‘Zeke is Seth’s father, if that’s what you’re asking,’ she admitted.

  There was something about Netty that was instantly trustworthy, and Tia hadn’t had anyone but her father to talk to in a very long time. And because there was no point pretending otherwise. Not when the two of them were heads together as they so often seemed to be.

  ‘But...?’ Netty prompted gently.

  ‘But...we’ve only just...reconnected. And Seth doesn’t know.’

  ‘Yet.’

  ‘Right.’ She gritted her teeth. ‘Yet.’

  She sensed rather than saw Netty’s sympathetic smile.

  ‘You could do a lot worse than Zeke, you know.’ Leaning sideways, she nudged Tia softly in the arm, like a show of solidarity. ‘There are plenty of women here who have been trying to land him ever since he founded Look to the Horizon a few years ago. Some of them are even married.’

  ‘And Zeke has...been tempted?’

  Netty tipped back her head, her rich laughter almost as gloriously warm as the sun itself.

  ‘Never once, Tia.’

  ‘Oh, right.’ It didn’t mean anything. It didn’t change anything.

  ‘And before you ask...sure, I’ve been tempted. I mean, Zeke’s set up this charity to show kids like Robbie that they should never be constrained by what society tells them they should or shouldn’t do.’

  ‘As Seth would say, setting up this sailing school is way cool.’

  ‘Way cool,’ Netty agreed. ‘But Zeke also teaches these kids a whole lot more than just sailing. He inspires them to be proud of themselves, and he shows them how to stay mentally strong when people are unkind or impose limitations. He defines the very idea of a kind, caring guy and he’s one heck of a role model. And let’s face it, he’s also fit as hell.’

  ‘True,’ Tia agreed, baring her teeth in what she hoped looked like a smile.

  ‘Relax.’ Netty laughed again. ‘I said I’ve looked. Who wouldn’t? But I’ve never acted. I got the impression that he was closed off to the possibility of relationships. I always suspected that his heart was taken by some special girl. And here you are.’

  ‘Oh, no. No. It isn’t like that at all...’ She faltered as Netty reached over and placed her hand on Tia’s arm.

  ‘Tia, take it from someone looking at the two of you with no preconceived notions. It is exactly like that.’

  ‘He hasn’t looked this way once.’ She would have swallowed the words down if she could have. But they evaded her attempts to capture them. ‘He doesn’t even know that I’m here.’

  ‘Trust me, Tia. He knows. Now, stay here, I’m going to get us a refreshing drink. It’s roasting out here today.’

  Tia murmured a word of thanks, her eyes still on Seth and Robbie, who had already raced back to Zeke and were listening attentively to whatever it was he was teaching them.

  Emotion banded around her chest.

  This was a side of Zeke she’d always wondered about. If it lurked beneath the surface of their tempestuous, stymied relationship. She’d certainly never known it. Maybe it was meeting too young when his own father’s lessons had been too close to the surface, or maybe it was marrying as kids where he’d wanted to prove
himself the alpha male; either way it came down to poor timing.

  He hadn’t even told her directly that this charity was his. When she’d asked him about it he’d simply said that when Z-Black had taken off, he’d realised that he had the chance to build something quite special. Not just teaching a few kids a few skills, but teaching them something as challenging as sailing. Helping them to see it less as a disability. Even just assisting them to get the right prosthetics.

  Basically everything that Netty had said, only she’d been full of admiration where Zeke had dismissed his own work.

  It was so far removed from the young, arrogant, almost selfish Zeke of old. Like the man she’d always imagined he was, but who he hadn’t been. Not back then. He’d been too young. They both had.

  Netty was wrong, Tia thought sadly. She didn’t have Zeke’s heart.

  She never had.

  * * *

  It took a superhuman effort for Zeke not to look across the harbour to where Tia and one of the other mothers sat, apparently deep in conversation.

  However much he tried to push her out of his thoughts, she was still there. Setting his body on fire just by being in the same house as him. The same country.

  He could still taste her, feel her, picture her. The very thought of her took him out at the knees.

  He grimaced at his own dark humour.

  Bringing Tia and Seth out here had been supposed to have been about him getting to know the son who she had denied him for the past four and a half years. That was certainly what he’d told himself. The truth was that he couldn’t drag himself away from her.

  He should resent her for those unilateral decisions she had made. Instead, he still wanted her—just as he had five years ago. Ten years ago. Even fifteen years ago.

  He still craved her.

  And for Zeke that was a weakness that he despised.

  Bringing them out here might have given him an opportunity to develop a relationship with his son, but it had also been because a side of him had desperately wanted Tia to see the success he’d made of his life.

  That kid from the dirtiest house in Westlake. The kid who her father had tried to keep her away from. The kid she had chosen to marry.