The Shy Captain

by Michelle Sutton

  Jimmy sighed and closed his eyes. He hadn't been on this road before. After numerous twists and turns, Jimmy opened his eyes. They had arrived at a stream near a small grove of trees.

  Boulders surrounded the area and a group of rolling hills dotted the background of the valley. Wildflowers were in full bloom, and hues of red, orange, yellow, blue, purple and white spotted the vast meadow.

  He had to admit the area where they parked was a great spot to relax and chat over a few beers. The stream gurgled in the background. Birds whistled and sang to one another. A cool, gentle breeze ruffled the leaves on the nearby trees.

  There were a few clouds in the sky, but not many.

  Chet pulled off to the side of the road. As if he'd read Jimmy's mind, he grabbed a cooler stashed in the back and cracked it open. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

  Peering at the contents, Jimmy winced. More temptation. How much could one man take? Surely one beer wouldn't hurt him if it meant he would bond more with this friend. Right, Lord?

  No answer.

  Chet stood up in the back of his truck and tucked the lid under the toolbox.

  "Hand me a beer?"

  Jimmy did as requested, then popped one open himself. He hadn't had a good bottle of brew in years and decided he'd be accommodating. He took a long swing. It tasted so good he sighed with pleasure.

  Chet laughed. "I didn't know you had it in you."

  "What?" Jimmy grinned and took another long pull on the bottle.

  His friend sat on the bed of his truck. "You're drinking beer. Isn't that like a sin or something for you?"

  Jimmy shook his head and climbed up next to Chet. "Only if it's done to excess."

  Chet hopped off the truck bed and grabbed something from inside the cab. He walked back to where Jimmy sat and grinned wide. "Here you go, bro. One for you and one for me. What you can't finish I'll help you with. Deal?"

  He looked at the large can of chilled imported beer that Chet had dropped in his lap. He couldn't drink more than one or two without getting stupid, so he decided to take his time. That way Chet would be way ahead of him and wouldn't notice when he stopped. He smiled at his friend and nodded. "Sure."

  "You're all right, Jimmy. I used to think you were a religious freak, but now I know you're cool."

  For obvious reasons, that failed to comfort Jimmy. That slippery slope he'd stumbled on was getting slicker by the minute.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sammie volunteered for grunt work to cover for one of her soldiers that couldn't make the trip due to illness. She didn't think it would be a problem to mingle with the regular soldiers just this once. It was certainly more interesting that sitting in an office all day.

  After several hours of hunching over to pick up trash, her back ached. She took a break and leaned against a phone pole. At least she'd eaten a reasonable breakfast that morning. When she finished resting she went to the cooler and cracked open a bottle of water. She'd never tasted anything so delicious in her life.

  Several soldiers watched her but the most part the guys left her alone. Right after lunch, however, the atmosphere changed. It was like some guys had a bet going on. They acted strangely toward her. Flirtatious even.

  A young soldier from another unit started coming on to her as if he had no knowledge of the fraternization rules. She found it annoying that he persisted even after she rolled her eyes and gave him the brush off. He didn't even care that she outranked him, and that really irked her to not be taken seriously. She should report him for his lack or respect, if nothing else.

  When he got down on one knee to beg her for a date she tried the humiliation approach and slapped him upside the head with his own cap. It worked, apparently, because after being harassed by his peers the soldier left her alone for the rest of the day.

  Right before it was time to go she thought she saw Jimmy drive by in someone else's truck. She ducked her head and hoped he hadn't seen her.

  She hadn't told him yet that she was a soldier. He still thought she just worked on post as a civilian. She wanted to tell him about her career before he discovered it for himself, but she didn't know how to broach the subject.

  And Jimmy hadn't called either last night or this morning. Maybe when she returned home after work she'd find a message on her machine. If not, she was going to pick up the phone and call him herself to find out what was going on.

  She didn't like the sinking feeling in her stomach. She needed to know what he was thinking and feeling before she did anything drastic like spilling the proverbial beans.

  *****

  Jimmy woke up the next morning with a severe headache. He knew he should've stopped after the first few beers but the more he drank the more comfortable he'd felt spilling his guts to Chet.

  "I love her and it's driving me crazy, man. I don't know what to do."

  Chet's mouth gaped. "You don't know what to do with a woman? Are you serious?"

  "No, I didn't mean that I don't know what to do. I mean what to do about these feelings I have for her."

  "What's there to think about? If you want to see her, then see her."

  "Of course I want to see her. It's just that… well… she's not a Christian and I don't want to date someone who doesn't share the same faith I do."

  "So don't date her."

  Jimmy's heart rate dropped. "You think I should stay away from her, too?"

  "No, that's not what I meant. I meant don't date her. Go ahead and get the goods and see her when you want to see her. If she doesn't let you do what you want with her then move on to someone else. Then it's her loss."

  "You're not hearing what I'm saying."

  "Yes, I heard you. I'm saying to do what you want with the girl as often as she'll let you and then when you get tired of each other, move on to someone else."

  "If you loved a woman, would you do that to her?"

  "Don't know. I've never been in love."

  "And you never will if that's how you treat the women you spend time with."

  "Honestly, Jimmy? I really don't care." Chet finished the rest of his beer.

  Jimmy couldn't help being thankful that he hadn't hardened his heart like his friend had. Maybe Chet would be more difficult to reach than he'd originally thought.

  That night, after Chet dropped him off, he tried to sleep. The world was spinning out of control. He put one foot on the floor so he wouldn't get sick. Stupid that he'd drank so much even after he told himself he wouldn't. And now that he'd talked to Chet about Sammie he wanted to see her more than ever. Chet was right. The fact that she wasn't a Christian could be a good thing when it came to having a physical relationship with her. No doubt if they dated long enough she would eventually agree to it.

  If he wasn't going to marry her anyway, then why not enjoy her company when they were together? He needed to stop beating himself up for the natural feelings he had when he was with her. Yeah, he still wanted to save himself for marriage, but what if that day never came? He didn't want to die a virgin.

  He also knew there was no way he could go to work this morning with such a wicked hangover. "Sam, I'm not going to make it in today. I feel horrible."

  "I still don't feel that hot myself, but the cold medicine is working and I don't think I'm contagious anymore. So what's wrong with you?"

  "I've got the worst headache in the world." That was certainly true.

  Sam chuckled. "That's how my cold started out. I hope you have an easier time of it than I did. Do you need me to bring some medication by your place? I have a lot left over now that I'm on the mend."

  "No that's okay. I'll be fine."

  "You sure?"

  He knew it was deceptive to let Sam think he had a cold, but he couldn't tell him the truth… that he'd been stupid enough to get drunk and earned himself a mean hangover. If Sam stopped over he would smell the alcohol still seeping from his pores.

  "I'm sure. Bye, Sam. See you tomorrow."

  "You probably won't feel better by then. I was sick for t
hree days."

  "Okay. See you when I feel better then."

  "That's the spirit. You get the rest you need. Okay, buddy?"

  Later than afternoon Chet stopped by and asked if he wanted to hang out. He'd seen enough of Chet to last him a lifetime, but he'd just gotten the call that his vehicle was finally ready and he'd needed a ride to go pick it up. He sure wasn't going to ask Sam to take him. His boss would smell the stale alcohol on his breath because it still seeped from his pores and no amount of breath freshener could totally suppress it when he exhaled. No doubt Sammie would notice as well. So when Chet volunteered to take him it seemed like the perfect solution.

  "Want to take another hike? That last one was really fun."

  Jimmy groaned. "We never left the bed of your pickup, you moron. And stop yelling. I've got a mean hangover."

  "I'm not yelling. You drank way less than I did. How can you be hung over?"

  "Because I don't normally drink." Jimmy heaved an exasperated sigh.

  "Sure looked like you did fine to me." Chet elbowed him. "I'd never have taken you for a light weight."

  "Well, it's the last time I'm doing that kind of drinking. I feel horrible. I should never have taken that first sip. I know my own weakness, but for some reason when I'm around you I get all stupid and forget my convictions."

  "Maybe it's not me. Maybe your convictions suck."

  "You wouldn't understand."

  "I understand perfectly fine. You're saying it's my fault you made bad choices. But it's your own fault. Aren't you supposed to be stronger than me?"

  "Yes, and that's the problem. I wasn't listening to God. I was listening to my own evil heart and this is what happens when you disobey God."

  "What if you aren't a Christian to begin with? Then it doesn't hurt anyone, right?"

  "If you aren't a Christian to begin with it doesn't matter what you do because there is no hope for your soul. Jesus is the only way anyone is getting into Heaven. No one is good enough to get there on their own merit."

  Chet slammed on his breaks. "Almost ran a red light. Sorry!"

  Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck, thankful he'd worn a seatbelt. "Thanks for hitting the brakes."

  "No problem." Chet squinted. "Hey, look at those soldiers. That lady over by the phone pole with the big chest looks like your Lonely Lilly."

  Jimmy craned his neck but they'd driven by so fast he couldn't pivot far enough. "Nah, that's not her. She works on post but she's not a soldier. She's a civilian. If she would lie about something like that then she'd be the last girl I'd date."

  "Then maybe you should let me have her." Chet grinned so wide that Jimmy couldn't help laughing. "I don't care who she works for."

  "You're crazy if you think I'd share her with the likes of you."

  Not only was he going to stick with Sammie, but he decided he was going to treat her with respect. Despite Chet's advice that he enjoy her until they parted ways, he couldn't bring himself to treat her like that. He'd rather keep a physical and emotional distance than ruin what they had together.

  "Not as crazy as you are." Chet snorted. "You're the fool who is dragging your feet with that chick. If it were me I'd have gone all the way by now. No sense waiting. Live like you mean it, bro! That's what I'm doing with my life."

  Jimmy couldn't believe he actually liked this guy. Yet, despite their recent history and his wicked hangover, he believed there was still hope for Chet. He wasn't giving up just yet. Not on Chet or on Sammie.

  He wasn't that kind of friend.

  *****

  Jimmy sat in his office the following Monday listening to his client. At least he thought he'd been paying attention, but his mind wouldn’t focus. His thoughts kept drifting to Sammie and their last encounter. He all but sighed as he thought about her kisses and how much he missed them. This good behavior was harder than he thought it would be.

  "I don't think I can live this way any more. It's too hard."

  Jimmy snapped to attention. His client peered at him with such sorrow Jimmy wanted to smack himself for letting his thoughts drift. He hadn't heard the first part of his counselee's comment, only the tail end. Was he referring to possible suicide?

  "If you feel like killing yourself I need to get you to the hospital."

  His client's face contorted with confusion. "Over my cat dying last month? I'm sad about that but not enough to do myself in. I just meant I can't live without a pet anymore. It's too lonely with my Myrna gone. So do you think I should get another cat or consider a dog this time?"

  Jimmy's shoulders relaxed. He didn't have a suicidal client in his office, he just needed to pay better attention. "I think a dog is a great idea."

  "You do? Okay. I'll go to the pound tomorrow and see if I connect with any of the animals waiting to be adopted. Thanks so much." His client stood and shook his hand.

  "It's been my pleasure." Jimmy grabbed his appointment book. "So shall we meet again next week or the following week?"

  "I think I'll wait for two weeks. How about next Monday the fifth at four o'clock? I'm feeling stronger all the time. I really appreciate all that you've done for me."

  Jimmy checked his calendar and jotted down the appointment. "Great. See you in a few weeks."

  The moment his client left his room Jimmy rested his head in his hands and sighed. God help him, but he was letting his feelings for Sammie slip into his job and if he was going to be of service to his clients, that needed to change. One slip from him could really hurt someone. He'd already done enough damage to Sammie as far as he was concerned. He wouldn't let his relationship problems affect his work, too.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Six weeks had passed and still James showed no sign of remembering her as Sam, the girl he'd kissed when they were young. If he did recognize her, he sure hid it well. She had dropped occasional hints and even used his given name a few times. He acted like he didn't have a clue.

  On the rare occasion that they had a date, Jimmy was the perfect gentleman when they went out. Not once had he attempted anything more than reaching for her hand. But the more they got to know each other, the more she liked him as a person.

  The lack of physical affection in their relationship bothered her, but so far she couldn't muster the courage to do anything about it. A few times she considered kissing him first, but James kept a friendly distance, not giving her even as much as a friendly hug.

  She had told herself that she'd let him lead in their relationship. It was killing her to wait, but so far she'd stuck to her commitment. At least he was still calling her and talking to her like they were friends. And he hadn't pushed his faith on her or anything, which intrigued her even more. It was like he was a different man. In fact, he acted almost too Christian, too decent.

  What stumped her was how she could flirt with everyone in Tombstone but Jimmy without breaking out into a sweat. With him things were different. Maybe because she had sincere feelings for him—intense emotions—and the rest of the guy were just for the show.

  Today she decided she had waited long enough. She planned to muster the courage to steal a kiss from Jimmy after the cowboy poet gathering. She smiled as she imagined standing on her toes and pulling his head down to meet her lips. She hadn't been brave enough to kiss him first after that one time when she initiated it. But there was something about poetry that stirred her heart and inspired her to hum love songs.

  Maybe she'd just think about him kissing her until he finally broke down and did just that. To increase her chances of success she planned to wear that sexy black dress with the spaghetti straps that had been sitting in her closet collecting dust. She'd wear it without an underlying bra for support. If that didn't get him, nothing would.

  The sound of gravel crunching on the road told her James had arrived in his refurbished Jimmy. She scurried around her little house as she collected her purse and jacket and draped them over her forearm. Adjusting the spaghetti strap on her dress, she appraised herself in the mirror. The dress h
ad just enough of a dip in the neckline to be distracting without looking smutty. Perfect.

  Pulling the door open before he knocked, she greeted him with a broad smile. "Jimmy, it's good to see you. Do you have the tickets?"

  He pulled them out of his back pocket. "Right here."

  "That's wonderful." She noted his appreciative stare, which made a delicious shiver shoot up her spine. She missed kissing him so much, but she refused to be too forward again.

  "Are you cold?" His face turned bright red. "Here, let me help you with that."

  Disappointment washed over her, until she looked down and saw why he wanted her to cover up. Before she could protest, he took her knitted shawl and draped it over her shoulders with an affectionate squeeze. His warm breath caressed her neck for just a moment. Her mouth went dry as she gazed at him, her lips parted.

  The darkening of his pupils was becoming a familiar sight.

  So was his predictable dismissal. If he didn't remember her as Sam by the end of the night she was going to part ways once and for all. She couldn't handle any more disappointment. Lately when they were together, that was all she felt because he avoided her on both a physical and an emotional level. She refused to allow the distance to grow between them any longer.

  He cleared his throat and stepped back. "Let's go. We don't want to be late."

  She blinked back tears of hurt. Was he ever going to remember her?

  As usual, he broke the tension with a smile. Sometimes she wondered if she had read him wrong. Maybe he was just being careful not to go too far with her. It made sense given the few slip ups they'd had last month. At first she thought it was because he'd seen her that day she was cleaning the road with the other soldiers. He'd never brought it up, though, so she must've been mistaken.

  That was another problem. He still didn't know she was active duty military. She mentioned once having a job on post. At some point she had planned to tell him there was more to it, but after hearing his negative feelings about the military because of his father's death, she had clammed right up and hadn't had the guts to bring it up again.