Hidden Realms

by Dean Murray

  “Nothing …” Her tone told me differently. “I thought I saw a girl from my Spanish class.”

  The excuse might have worked on someone who hadn’t known her for years, but I wasn’t buying it. She’d gone pale. Her eyes were wide, frantically searching the room for something, not someone. Her gaze darted to corners, under desks, and on the floor.

  Not many students hung out there. “Did you lose something?” It was the only logical conclusion I could come up with to justify her odd behavior.

  “No.” She turned toward me, looking confused. Her skin was tight. A ruddy glow spread up her neck and her breath came rapidly. “I don’t know.”

  I touched her shoulder. “What is it? I’ll help you find it.”

  She sighed. “It doesn’t matter.”

  She was trying to dismiss the subject. I still had no clue what we were even talking about. “Hey,” she said brightly. “The first home-game is Saturday. You’re coming, right?”

  I mustered up as much animation as I could and plastered a smile on. “Wouldn’t miss it!”

  “Could you sound any more bored?” Her zeal heightened the intensity of her next words. “This is going to be a terrific game.”

  All games were wonderful to Cassie. She wouldn’t care if it was raining, snowing, or worse. She would find something to exaggerate about. “I’m excited. Really.”

  “Pretend I believe you,” she said dryly.

  I put a sly twist into my smile, thinking of our old games. “Sure. If you pretend I’m just as stoked as you are.”

  “Deal,” she said.

  I sauntered my way to my acrylics class, wondering if I expected way too much of myself. I had thought my art classes would be easy, but I found them more difficult than I had anticipated.

  The other day I went over my schedule with my counselor. If I had even a shot of getting into the FBA program, I had a lot of work ahead of me. The competition was fierce, and if I didn’t step up my game, I would be lucky to get my BA.

  Every art teacher I’d had since the seventh grade had raved about my talent. From the artwork I had seen already, all the students in the Fine Arts program had amazing gifts. What I had to find out was how mine differed from theirs. I loved all kinds of art: sculpting, writing, dancing, even drama — when other people did it — not so much when I attempted it.

  I especially excelled in painting. My dream was to become world renowned, but I had to have connections for that to happen. I just didn’t quite know how to get them yet.

  I hurried into the classroom and took out my supplies. The dull landscape on the easel mocked me. I’d gotten the composition right, but the colors needed work. I was going for serene, but I had missed the mark by a few thousand miles.

  Professor Brown said, casing the classroom, “How do you feel when you think about the place you have chosen? What noises do you hear? Is the wind blowing?”

  He stood near my shoulder, observing me. The scent of Irish Spring soap wafted around me, but it couldn’t mask the intimidation seeping into my heart. Did he want me to answer? I glanced at him sidelong.

  He shook his head fractionally. I waited for him to do it, but he didn’t roll his eyes. “Your job is to make me feel the wind, hear the birds, and smell the flowers. You need to create a mood with your color choices.” He put a pointed twist in his tone. “Exact matches of nature will only leave your work flat.”

  Thankfully, he moved on to terrorize a girl in the next row. I had always gone for realism in my work, but perhaps he had a point.

  I rearranged the pictures in my hands. Looking at the images brought back some of my happiest memories of mine and Cassie’s favorite spot to play, but those wouldn’t translate onto the canvas. I had to figure out how to capture my feelings with color. Cool tones were serene to me, but those were hardly hues associated with the desert.

  I spent most of class just trying to mix the right green. I was tempted to chuck my brushes across the room by the time I left. Professor Brown hadn’t come around again, and I was thankful.

  I nearly ran over Natalie Walker when I raced out of the building. A guilty smirk tugged on my lips. “Sorry. I need to pay more attention to where I’m going.”

  Her emerald eyes absolutely shone with hilarity. “I swear that was what you said the last time I saw you.”

  “Yeah, well, you’d think I would have learned my lesson.” I sent her a big smile. “How are things?” I liked Natalie. She was cheerful, which was something I could use in buckets.

  Her gaze darted around, as though she were a secret agent worried about eavesdroppers. She motioned me closer, whispering, “I had no idea that a barely concealed convent could be this much fun.”

  I didn’t know how the school compared to a real nunnery, but I shrugged at her irreverent statement. The whole Catholic thing was new to me. Maybe it was an inside joke? “Do you know something about this place I don’t?” I had done quite a bit since coming here, but I wouldn’t classify much of it as pleasurable.

  She looked confused. “You’re not enjoying your classes?”

  I shifted my backpack to the other shoulder. “It’s just harder than I thought it would be.” My gaze fell to my loafers. “It also doesn’t help that Cassie and I haven’t been getting along very well.”

  “That’s no good, but who’s Cassie?”

  I couldn’t believe I hadn’t mentioned her the other day. “My best friend. She’s also my roommate.” She was way more to me. She was like my sister — one that felt more like my second cousin twice removed on my great aunt’s side, lately.

  Natalie’s eyes narrowed slightly. She pursed her lips, shielding her eyes from the glaring sun. “You’re way braver than I am. I need my own space. It’s why I picked a single in Regina. Why are you fighting?”

  I didn’t know the answer to her question. I moved a little bit so she wouldn’t have to squint at me. “It’s a long story.”

  She grasped my arm, pulling me into motion. “I’m not trying to pry, but if you need to talk …”

  She didn’t have to say another word. I had to spill to someone or burst. “She’s refusing to tell me something, and I don’t quite know how to handle it.” Cassie and I hadn’t had a real conversation in days. The amorphous blob of tension in our room had become difficult to maneuver around. Time to change the subject. My problems with Cassie had already taken up too many of my thoughts today. “What are you doing that’s so much fun, anyway?”

  Natalie’s features turned bright. She squealed. “I met a guy over the summer.”

  From the look on her face he was the best thing since chocolate. “Lucky,” I said, if a little insincere. I didn’t need that sort of complication in my life. One thing had me curious, though. She couldn’t have been here much longer than I had. “That’s cool. I was about to ask you how you met him so soon? Boys are scarce around these parts.”

  She nodded. “He’s a student at Notre Dame, so I actually get to see him more now than when we were home.” Her eyes glazed over, while a pretty blush colored her cheeks. “I’ve only known him for two months, but it feels like years. You should have seen me when I found out he attended Notre Dame. They could barely get me off the ceiling.”

  I’d felt that way once, too. Infatuation is a dangerous thing. It masquerades as love when you don’t know any better. I hoped when I had the feeling again, I would be wise enough to tell the difference. I stopped my mind from rummaging through the place housing the emotions I once harbored for Brody Smith. He just wouldn’t stay buried.

  “What’s he like?” I asked.

  “He’s cute, funny, clumsy —”

  “I am not,” a man said from behind us.

  Natalie gasped, turning. Her smile, along with the blush coloring her cheeks, absolutely made her face glow. “Rayla, this is Sam.”

  He looked like he was a few years older than us. He had a flashy smile, deep brown eyes, a hawk nose, and straight black hair cropped below his ears. Natalie captivated him so much
he barely glanced at me.

  “Good to meet you,” I said.

  He grabbed Natalie’s hand and pulled her against him. “I might say the same if my girl here wasn’t making me sound like such a loser.” He cocooned her slowly in his arms.

  “I was not,” Natalie said indignantly, but her body language belied her tone, as she leaned into him.

  He tweaked her nose. “First of all, baby, no guy ever wants to be called cute. Second, clumsy is not a redeeming quality. And funny is for friends, not your hot new boyfriend.” With that said, he gave her a teasing smile.

  She shook her head in mock seriousness. “You didn’t let me get to the best part.”

  “Which was?” Sam asked.

  She craned her neck, her eyes sweeping over him before nudging him gently. “What a great kisser you are.”

  Sam took his turn at blushing. They were cute together. I felt uncomfortable.

  “Hey, Natalie, can I borrow your cell for a minute?” I wanted to find out if my hunch was correct: That I wouldn’t be able to make any calls home.

  When she handed me her phone, I stepped quickly away from the two of them. Oh, brother. The wallpaper was a picture of her and Sam kissing.

  I walked over to a bench, dialing home. To my utter surprise, Jenny answered.

  My breath whooshed out when I heard her voice. “Hi Jen,” I said enthusiastically. “Is Grace home?”

  Jenny grunted, as if I had lost it. “She’s at work. How’s Snow?”

  Stupid of me. My aunt was nearly always out. I should have tried her cell, but why hadn’t Aunt Grace told Jenny I wasn’t in Utah anymore? I didn’t have the time or the desire to get into the subject. “It’s good — busy.”

  “I want details, Rayla. Have you met any cute guys?”

  She sounded so excited I couldn’t disappoint her. I still remembered the newfound interest I had for boys at twelve. “A few,” I lied. Sam was the first guy I had actually met since coming here.

  “I miss you,” she said suddenly, her voice cracking.

  Tears sprang to my eyes. I hadn’t considered how much I would miss my family when I decided to come here. I hadn’t thought about a lot of things. “Me, too.”

  She sniffed. “When are you coming home?”

  “I don’t know. I promise I will as soon as I can.” Guilt crept into my soul. She was really young, and I had left her to take care of Sarah. “How are things? Is Sarah minding you?”

  “It’s okay. It’s just not the same here without you.”

  I cringed. “Do you like your new room?” I figured she would be happy having some space to herself.

  “Yeah, it’s good. I’ve been using your lights, though. I think it’s going to take a little while for me to get used to sleeping alone.”

  I had hung Christmas lights across my entire ceiling, pretending they were for decoration. Fact was: I couldn’t sleep without them, not with the dark closing in on me. “Play the stereo, but not too loudly. Don’t give Travis an excuse to get you kicked out.” Travis had begged for my room, but Aunt Grace thought it was silly to move him and Jenny.

  “I’ll try that.”

  “I’d better go, Jen. Will you have Aunt Grace call me?”

  “I’ll tell her, but I’m not making any promises. She’ll be back at six.”

  I hung up more nostalgic than I could have ever imagined. Jenny was probably helping Sarah with her homework. Who would have ever guessed I would regret skipping that part of my day? I got voice mail when I called Aunt Grace’s cell. Figured.

  Natalie and Sam were making out under a tree when I rounded the corner. I was tempted to take off with her phone in case mine didn’t work later, but I interrupted them instead. “Hi.” I reluctantly held the phone out to her. “Um, here, Natalie.”

  She wiped her mouth, smiling. “Did I mention what a great kisser Sam is?”

  I nodded. “Got it.”

  Awkward.

  “Hey, come get something to eat with us,” she said.

  I was about to decline when Sam said they were meeting up with some friends. I could use more of those, especially now that Cassie was being so distant. Besides, I had time to kill before my last class of the day. It didn’t hurt that I had skipped lunch. Since coming here, my appetite had nearly vanished. Still, I could make myself eat.

  When we walked into the cafeteria, I searched the tables, wondering which group I would be joining. My eyes landed on the most striking man I’d ever seen. His walnut hair fell in a messy array around his tawny features. To my surprise, we headed toward him. The man smiled charmingly as we walked closer. His bright eyes pulled me in, trapping me.

  Thick sapphire halos encased his startling pale blue irises. When I got closer, I noticed a starburst of aqua around his pupil. It wasn’t the beauty of his odd eyes, exactly, that made my knees nearly buckle. I didn’t know what it was, but I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. My heart danced wildly to his tune.

  When the group stood, he towered over them, nearly a head taller than everybody else. He wore a black tee that clung in just the right places, with faded jeans slung low on narrow hips, and worn leather boots covering his rather large feet. I tried my hardest not to gawk.

  He smirked knowingly. I smiled as if I had just seen my first parade.

  The room full of people melted away, blocked out by the radiance of this one man — until Natalie cleared her throat.

  “Rayla, this is Zach.”

  “Hi,” I said breezily.

  “Back at you,” he replied with a cocky, lopsided grin and a barely noticeable lilt to his deep voice. Slight dimples lent a boyish charm to his otherwise chiseled features. “Come sit by me, Rayla.” He held his hand out to me expectantly. “I was beginning to feel like the odd man out.”

  No wonder. We were surrounded by couples. Natalie and Sam hadn’t bothered to mention that. I took a deep breath, lacing my fingers with his — and gasped. When his fingers touched mine, an electric anticipation ran up my hand then, spread throughout my entire frame like a warm flowing spring.

  Zach studied me, peering down through narrowed lashes. “Something wrong, love?”

  Chapter Five

  Love? Where exactly was he from? “I’m fine,” I said. I was anything but, really. My body hummed melodically every time his thumb traced my skin. It seemed to take us a year to get to our seats.

  Natalie grinned when Zach didn’t let go of my hand. I shook my head fractionally, eyes wide, trying to get her to stop embarrassing me.

  I hated being introduced to this many people at once. I usually feel uneasy around a group this large, but today was worse. There were eight people I couldn’t converse well with because I didn’t want to say “Hey, you.”

  “So, Rayla, what brings you to St. Mary’s?” Zach asked. The lilting way he said my name enveloped me like a sweet ballad.

  I tried to wipe the perm-a-smile from my face, but it refused to budge. “I liked what they had to offer.” My reasoning had been way more complicated, but such information wasn’t the sort of thing to get into after just meeting someone.

  “I’m thinking I agree with you.” He winked. “Too bad they won’t let the likes of me in here. I’m lucky to be eating lunch with you.”

  Sam leaned toward me conspiratorially. “There he goes again. You better watch out. He’s bound to start an uprising.”

  Zach inclined his head, looking down his straight nose toward Sam. “Why should a beautiful woman such as Rayla be secreted away from the masculine persuasion? I tell you it is a crime, to be sure.”

  Had I heard that right? He thought I was beautiful? A pleasurable shiver slipped up my spine. I laughed. “I haven’t exactly been hidden.”

  He squeezed my fingers gently. “Have you not, now? If you were at Notre Dame, I would never let those stormy eyes of yours out of my sight. They remind me of the clouds here just before it snows.” He smiled mischievously, running his thumb leisurely over my knuckles. He came nearer, his mesmerizing eyes e
ntrancing me. “I’d even change my major to be near you, lass. Now, I can’t do that here, can I?” He stiffened his back, running his hand down his silhouette, as if emphasizing his height. “I could dress up as a girl, but I hardly think anyone would buy it.”

  I sure wouldn’t. I couldn’t even picture him in women’s clothes, and I had always had a great imagination.

  One of the guys shook his head. “Such a declaration might mean more if you didn’t change your major daily.” He elbowed Zach in the side. “Can’t you see you’re embarrassing the girl? She’ll mark you as some sort of lunatic stalker if you don’t lay off.”

  My face was aflame. It had to be two shades redder than Rudolph’s glowing nose. I hadn’t ever had someone come on to me so strongly, especially not someone as attractive as Zach. Well, to be fair, I hadn’t ever seen someone like him. He wasn’t pretty-boy handsome like Brody. He was pure muscles-bulging-everywhere-rugged man with high voltage eyes and a mystifying smile.

  Zach turned toward me, concern clear on his face. “I’m used to being a bit bold around women I find irresistible. Do you wish me to tone it down?”

  My stomach did a flip at the sultry look he shot me. “Maybe a little,” I mumbled. He was a lot to handle, even without his brazen advances.

  “Okay, love, we’ll take it slow.” He nudged my foot under the table, and a calm sensation rushed through my veins, reigning in my heartbeat. “How’s that sound?”

  I smiled, wondering why I had gotten so freaked out. Zach already felt like an old friend, and I had only known him a few minutes. “Better.”

  We talked about our majors, everyone except Zach. He slumped low in his seat, casually listening to each one of us discuss our reasons for existing. He threw out the odd pithy comment, but other than that, he didn’t say much. I had never laughed as much as I had today. Even though he was the silent, brooding type, he was still fun to be around. I sort of liked being the object of his affections. Something not quite tangible about him set me at ease.