Hidden Realms

by Dean Murray

  “Can you believe it? I’m so excited to get home. Don’t get me wrong, I could get used to pressing a button and having someone run through the door to get me a glass of water, but I’m definitely ready.”

  “Who’s your friend, Lauren?” Seth was behind me with his hands on the wheelchair’s handlebars. I was nearly oblivious to the fact that he was even in the room when Max walked in. I released Max’s hand as if I were a child just caught raiding the cookie jar.

  “Oh, that’s right, you haven’t met. Seth, this is the man who saved my life. Max, this is a friend of mine, Seth.” I couldn’t see Seth’s face, but he had to have noticed my reaction to Max. He would have had to be blind, deaf and dumb to not.

  Seth used his charming voice, “Hi, Max. Well, it’s really a pleasure to meet you.” He took Max’s hand in what looked like genuine admiration, “I don’t know how to thank you. Lauren is the most important person in my life. These last few days have been a roller coaster, but I’m thrilled that you made these last few days, and the next fifty years with Lauren, possible. You have our deepest appreciation.” Seth was clearly trying to correct the introduction where I only called him my “friend.” Seth switched his attention from Max to me, “Lauren, I think we’d better head down to the car. Molly’s waiting.”

  Max stammered, “Sure, ah…I was just doing my job.” There was an uneasy silence where no one spoke. Max was the first to recover, “Well, I’m glad you’re heading home; I guess I’ll see you around.” Max’s voice was discouraged.

  “Max, thanks for everything. Don’t be a stranger, okay?” was all I could manage to get out. I reached back to him and awkwardly squeezed his hand. I would call Max in a couple hours and apologize profusely, but for now, I just needed to find the nearest exit.

  Seth began pushing me toward the door while Max just stepped out of the way. We were down the hall, around the corner and waiting for the elevator before I said anything to Seth. Completely frustrated with the way our latest encounter had played out, “Well, thanks for letting me say goodbye.”

  Seth was still behind me, so I couldn’t see his face, but he replied, “It’s not like you two are going to be life-long pals. He was just being nice, wishing you well.” The elevator opened and he drove me in, turning me around once we were inside. I saw the elevator door beginning to close, and there was Max, slowly walking toward the elevator with his head down, not even noticing that we were right there. Seth’s hand reached over and pushed the “door close” button.

  When the elevator opened, an orderly took over the wheel chair for Seth. Mom was waiting by the front door when we came out. “Seth, do you mind driving Lauren home? The van is so full, I don’t think she will fit in mine.”

  “Sure, Molly. Lauren has to stop by the business office to sign some papers; we’ll be right behind you.” I was thankful for this immediate opportunity to talk to Seth alone. I’d be able to tell him exactly how I felt. I was sure he’d be hurt, but at least I didn’t have to do it at my house, in front of my mom.

  Seth brought his car around to the entrance from the parking garage. The orderly wheeled me to the passenger door, then Seth gently lifted me into the passenger seat. “Let me move the seat back so you have a little more room.” He reached down to the floor in front of my seat and pulled the lever to reposition the seat farther back. After the seat was as far back as it would go, he pivoted his body so his face was directly in front of mine. Seth moved his hand to my right knee, and leaned in to kiss me.

  I turned my head just enough so that his lips made contact with my cheek. The surprise on his face was evident, and I smiled saying, “Sorry, morning breath.”

  Seth smiled back, “I don’t mind.”

  Not wanting to start the conversation right there in the parking garage, “Well, I do, let’s get going.”

  Seth closed my door and put my wheelchair and crutches in the trunk. He got in the driver’s side and backed out. As soon as we were out of the parking garage, I realized this was the most opportune time to tell him.

  I took a deep breath, “Seth, you really are my best friend.” I patted his right arm trying to be reassuring. He looked my way, and I could see he had no idea what was coming. Knowing what had to be done, and how devastated he’d be, I tried to think of the easiest way to tell him.

  If it were me, I would want to know directly. I wouldn’t want him to beat around the bush about it. If I tried to soften the blow, he might get the wrong idea, and think that there was still a chance for us. I settled on the direct approach, “I don’t want to be your girlfriend, and I think it would be best if we dated other people.”

  Seth didn’t respond. He didn’t look at me, as if my words didn’t even register. I continued, “You deserve someone who loves you back - the way I know you want me to love you. I know that I won’t feel that way about you. You need to find the right person for you. I’m not her.”

  A long silence followed before he finally spoke, “So, you’re breaking up with me, is that it?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m not mad about you telling me to leave last night.” Of course, he would think this had something to do with me tossing him out of my room.

  “Good, but I had a lot of time to think, and I know I’m not the right person for you.”

  “You’re just under a lot of stress. You’ll feel differently in a few days.” He still didn’t look at me, and I was sure from his expression that he really didn’t believe me.

  “Seth, I’m not saying this because I’m stressed out. I’m saying this because it’s the truth, and it’s not fair to keep pretending that one day I’ll wake up and feel differently. We graduate in a few months. I think you should enjoy your last few months of college, not hovering around me like an old mother hen.”

  While I was talking, his expression was tense, then it eased and relief spread across his face. “Oh, I get it. You’re worried that if I take care of you while you’re laid up, that I’ll miss out on some rite-of-passage? There’s no one, anywhere on earth, that I would want to spend time with more than you.”

  “No, Seth, really, I think you should get out and date. Meet new people.”

  “Where is this coming from? Is this because of last night? Lauren, I’m going to take care of you, not because I feel sorry for you, but because I love you. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” He reached for the volume on the stereo and turned it up in an effort to dissuade me from saying anything else.

  Frustrated at his complete disbelief and utter disregard for my wishes, I reached for the volume and turned the stereo back down. This couldn’t wait one more minute. “Seth, you need to decide right now if you want to continue being my friend. You are not my boyfriend as of right now, and if being my friend isn’t enough, then we are nothing to one another, do you understand?” My words sounded harsh, but I didn’t want for there to be any confusion.

  His obliviousness seemed to subside as I watched him, and saw that my words were sinking in. “Of course, I’m your friend. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I have half a mind to…to…” Seth trailed off, anger edging into his voice. He seemed unable to continue.

  Realizing for the first time how volatile this had the potential to be, I eased my annoyance with him down an octave and replied quietly, “I think it would be better if you just drop me at my house, and maybe we take a break from each other for a few days.”

  Seth didn’t respond. We drove in silence as I looked out the window, willing the pavement to move faster. I could see we were nearly to our houses and was relieved that this was almost over. A few final minutes passed before Seth pulled into his driveway. He got out, opened the trunk, and retrieved my wheelchair and crutches. I opened my door, and there was Seth standing with the wheelchair.

  “Here, let me help you.” Seth eased me into the wheelchair and wheeled me to the front door. We got to the bottom step, and he asked politely, “Do you want to give the crutches a try?”

  “Sure.” I took
the crutches and made my way awkwardly up the steps. Seth followed a few feet behind me, to make sure I didn’t crash. As he stood a few feet inside my house, I could tell he wanted to help me.

  “I’m going upstairs. I’ll be fine, Seth. Thanks for all your help. I really think it would be best if we don’t see each other for a while.”

  “Whatever you want, take your time. Give me a call when you want to see me again. I’ll be patient. Like I told you - I love you enough for both of us. When the realization hits you that you’ve made a huge mistake, call me. I promise not to hold any grudges.” Seth made an effort to kiss my mouth, but I turned my head again, so he kissed my cheek and gave my shoulders a gentle squeeze. Then his phrase that I have become so accustomed to was whispered one final time in my ear, “I miss you already.”

  Had last night not happened, had I not been so completely convinced that I had found the one person in the world I was truly destined for, my exchange with Seth would have likely brought me to tears.

  But last night did happen. I know Max and I were brought together by something so much more powerful than a simple accident. I felt terrible for hurting Seth. I knew this was something I should have done years ago; Seth deserved someone who could love him equally. It was selfish of me to keep leading him on. One day he would appreciate that I was finally honest with him.

  That day was not today.

  Chapter Eight

  I found Mom in the kitchen having just unloaded the last of the flowers. “If you are feeling up to it, I think it would be a good idea to send thank-you notes for all the flowers.”

  Appreciative of the distraction, “Sounds good.” I hobbled awkwardly to the bouquet from Melissa that had been by my bed in the hospital. I pulled the card that was in the card holder and panic hit me. Max’s card wasn’t there! Where was it? The memory of hearing his answering machine and me throwing his card away came into focus. I was furious with myself. What an idiot! How was I going to call him? Max didn’t have my number. I hid the dread I was suddenly feeling so Mom wouldn’t see. “I’m going to go up to my room to write the thank-you notes, okay?”

  Mom turned around, “It’s okay with me. Can you navigate the steps?”

  “We’ll know in a minute. If you hear me falling, we’ll both know I can’t,” I replied with a smile, hoping my humor camouflaged my frustration. She chuckled back at me as I collected all the mini cards from the card holders in the flower arrangements.

  “I’ve put all the cards and letters that came in the mail in your room. There must be fifty in the pile. I’ll run out and buy some more thank-you cards.”

  I made it up the steps without incident. I lay on my bed and reached for my phone and dialed information. The automated attendant transferred me to a real person, and the directory assistance human cheerfully informed me of seventeen listings for Max Meyers in the Charleston area. Having no idea where Max lived, I asked, “Could you give me all seventeen numbers?”

  The human stated, “I can give you five.” She rattled off the first five numbers of the seventeen. I dialed the first number and got an answering machine. I hung up without leaving a message, knowing that it wasn’t the same answering machine I had heard a couple days ago.

  When I tried the second number, a lady picked up on the second ring. “Hi, this is Lauren, I’d like to speak with Max?” The lady answered, “This is Max.”

  I know I sounded a little flustered when I asked, “I’m sorry, this is Max Meyer?”

  She answered, “Yes, Maxine Meyer.”

  “I am so sorry, I have the wrong number. We both hung up, and I called the other three numbers without hitting the jackpot.

  Extremely frustrated with myself, I got ready to dial information again. I looked at the stack of unopened cards and all the cards I had pulled from flower arrangements. I found that I wasn’t feeling very thankful for anything and lay down on my bed. After a few minutes, I felt myself drifting off to sleep and did nothing to resist.

  I found myself in a fitful sleep, with images of the shooter, of Max in my night-washed room, of Seth’s hurt look this morning, all mixed together. The dream of Max coming to me and telling me how urgent it was for me to find him, got all jumbled up with the events at the hospital, with the exchange between Seth and Max, Felecia worried about my heart monitor, then - a ray of hope. Doctor Gracie told me he had received several calls from Max. I awoke with a start, sitting straight up in bed. He must have Max’s number, or at least knew a way to contact him! I dialed information again, but asked for the number to the hospital this time.

  When a receptionist at the hospital came on the line, I asked if she could connect me to Doctor Gracie. I was connected to his voice mail and left a message, “Doctor Gracie, I’m sorry to bother you. This is Lauren Davis, your gun shot patient, and I was hoping you could give me a call at your earliest convenience…” I left my number and sat back in my bed, thrilled that I’d soon have Max’s number.

  I grabbed the stack of cards and opened each one. I was shocked that only five came from people I knew. I counted sixty-one from complete strangers. One message tugged at my heart more than any other.

  Dearest Lauren,

  I have no idea how to thank you. Fred is my son. You saved his life yesterday. No amount of money will ever repay your sacrifice, but I felt it necessary to do something. Please accept this as a small token of my appreciation and know that for the rest of my life I will remember what you did for my son and our family. I wish you a speedy recovery, and, if there is ever anything I can do for you, please don’t hesitate to ask.

  Love,

  Maggie Lawrence.

  Inside the card was a check for twenty thousand dollars.

  Shock overtook me. How should I write a thank-you note for this one? Could I even keep this money? I’m sure my parents would say no. I set it aside as I opened the rest of the cards. I was shocked by how many cards from strangers came with cash and checks. One from a car dealer said I could have any car on his lot at cost. All the inscriptions were much the same, calling me a hero, saying how brave I was, or thanking me for a friend or a loved one who had been in the restaurant during the robbery. It was overwhelming, and all told I had received more than twenty-five thousand dollars from grateful strangers.

  I began writing thank-you notes, but after ten handwritten notes, I realized that this was something I would have to pace myself for. I had been at it for a couple hours, and my hand was throbbing. When the phone rang, I picked it up on the first ring, hoping to catch it before Mom could.

  “Hello,” I responded into the receiver.

  “This is Doctor Gracie from Saint Joseph’s. Is Lauren available?”

  “Hi, Doctor. This is Lauren. Thanks for calling me back!”

  “Lauren, are you okay?”

  “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Safe and sound at home. I have a weird request for you. Max Meyers was the paramedic who got me to the hospital. Do you know how I can reach him?”

  There was an audible sigh on the phone. “Lauren, I’m not an answering service. I’m very busy.”

  “Doctor Gracie, I’m so sorry to ask, but I needed to ask him something about what happened at the restaurant, and I misplaced his number. I tried information, but I don’t know if he’s listed, and there are a ton of Max Meyers in the area. You mentioned that he called you a few times that first night, so I hoped you knew how I could reach him.”

  Unenthusiastically, Doctor Gracie responded, “Hold on, I’m sure I’ve got his number here somewhere.” He did find it and gave it to me. I thanked him profusely and assured him I was fine.

  I dialed the phone immediately. It wasn’t the number I had called before; it must have been his cell phone. Max picked up on the second ring. “This is Max.”

  A thrill rang through my voice. “Hi, Max, it’s Lauren.”

  Nothing. Silence. Did I dial the right number? “Hello? Are you there?”

  “Hi, Lauren, you must’ve made it home okay.” His words were something close
to monotone, and I knew he was still stung by Seth’s words this morning.

  “Yeah, a couple hours ago. I’m sorry about this morning. I was thrilled to see you, but unfortunately I didn’t have time to talk to Seth alone before you arrived.”

  “Yeah, I got that. So did you talk to him?”

  “Seth drove me home, and on the way I broke it off officially with him.” There was a hopefulness in my voice that this would somehow fix the hurt I knew I had caused.

  More silence, then Max asked, “So how’d he take it?”

  I thought about it for a second, realizing I was so focused on convincing him that I was really serious, it didn’t occur to me how well Seth took the news. “Actually, he took it very well. He didn’t raise his voice or call me names or anything like you see on TV. He argued with me a little, telling me that I didn’t know what I was saying. But in the end he understood.”

  “How clear were you?”

  “I was very clear, and if you don’t mind I’d rather not talk about Seth, other than to say I’m sorry for our abrupt departure. I was just so thrown I didn’t know what to say…so, like a coward, I didn’t say anything at all. Are you mad?”

  “Not mad, just…I wasn’t sure what I should have said. I wasn’t expecting to have your boyfriend tell me he was all set for the next fifty years because you were okay.”

  “Well, you said to call you when I was single. So…I’m single and I’ve officially called.” I was clueless as to what to say after that. Maybe something to the effect of you rocked my world and I wanted to see if you could do it a second time? Or you are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen?