by Cherrie Lynn
Her stark-naked image stared back at her. Flushed, wanton . . . a woman he’d been slowly introducing her to, a person she’d decided she liked and wanted to know better. She watched herself undulate over him, her hair falling around her breasts so that only the tips of her nipples peeked through the black strands. “Lift it up,” he groaned against her, and when she glanced down, she saw he was watching, too.
Every sensation seemed magnified as she did so. The hair she fought with on a daily basis, usually shoving back in a ponytail or a bun, was heavy and sensuous against her fingers. She gathered it high on her head, baring pale shoulders and breasts that Eli’s hands went directly to. He gently squeezed the aching buds of her nipples between his fingers, kneading soft flesh, doing unspeakable things with his tongue between her legs.
Almost out of nowhere, she shook apart, a full-body shudder engulfing her. No longer able to hold her arms up, she let her hair fell back around her shoulders, managing to keep her eyes open to enjoy the sight. Somehow, she managed to stay quiet, biting desperately at her bottom lip and grabbing Eli’s wrists as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her.
As soon as she had floated back to earth, he flipped her beneath him, raining kisses across her collar bone. “I want you,” she whispered, lifting her hips in blatant invitation. “Please.”
He reached between them, shoving his pajama pants down, freeing his cock. Letting the tip just kiss her where she was still so liquid and sensitive. “I know I said I could be quiet, but I’m afraid I’ll wake the whole bus if I get inside you right now,” he said in a breathless rush.
Iris squirmed against him, not even caring, but his next question brought her back to earth fast. “Are you on birth control?”
God, what he did to her. She hadn’t even thought. Fighting to catch her breath, she shook her head.
“Then we need to be careful.”
What frightened her most was that she didn’t want to be. She wanted to be wild. She wanted to take risks. She wanted to feel him lose himself inside her. Instead, she stayed quiet and suffered the cool air circulating over her skin while he crawled away from her to get a condom from the nightstand drawer.
“Are you okay?” he whispered as he settled back over her. He often asked her that, and never once had her answer been no. She wrapped him in her arms. His heat permeated her once again.
“I am now.”
He lowered his lips to her ear. “You do make me happy, Iris.” The breath shuddered out of her. Somehow, that simple statement seemed so enormous coming from him, who didn’t seem to have much happiness in life aside from his boys and his music. “You give me hope.”
“Everything seems so right when we’re here,” she said, stroking his hair. His hips shifted and, between her legs, she felt the rapturous push and stretch of him entering her, igniting sweet sparks as his breath rushed in her ear.
“Because it’s right,” he groaned. “This has never, ever felt so right. I’m so fucking into you.”
She knew he didn’t only mean his body. Need and fear and joy all warred for dominance in her heart. God, he felt good, his first thrusts slow and measured, steady and strong, until she could accept all of him. Iris let her hands travel to his ass, feeling the bunch and release of muscle there. Her slick walls still quivered around his thickness from the climax he’d given her moments ago, eliciting a quiet curse from him every time one of those shivery aftershocks worked through her.
She had never known anything could feel so good, the way she detached completely from all of her self-doubt and uncertainty, her entire being focused on the physical, on the way he moved inside her. “I don’t want to leave this place.” She hadn’t realized she’d spoken out loud until he answered, voice ragged with exertion and ecstasy.
“Don’t. Stay with me.”
He was almost too much. Too hot, too sweet. And he did do everything he could to be quiet, to the point that she feared her giggles might be louder than his muffled groans into the pillow he kept shoving his face into. But when passion swelled to a fever pitch, she found herself with only his neck and shoulder to stifle her own cries. After she came, the full-body explosion that left her clinging desperately to him, trying not to shriek, she pulled her mouth away to find deep pink indentions in his flesh, where her teeth had clamped down.
“Sorry,” she whispered, using her fingertips to stroke the ache she’d caused.
He only grinned down at her. “I didn’t even notice. Bite me all you need to, honey. I can take it.”
As she stared up into his heavy-lidded, utterly sated green eyes, Iris knew she could love him so easily. So fast, so madly. A mere few weeks ago, she’d never thought she would find what she had here with him. She’d never thought she would feel this safe with someone, especially a man who’d seemed to hate her on sight.
But it was all so fragile, and they were risking everything by being here like this. Now that ecstasy had receded and reality had set in, she felt a flutter of panic in her belly. God help her, she knew he saw it in her face. She didn’t have to say a word.
“Iris.” He stroked the side of her face softly with his knuckles. “Just be here with me. We can’t fix everything right now. We don’t have many of these moments anymore. Live in them while we have them.”
“Why are you so wonderful?”
“I can go back to being an asshole if you want me to.”
She chuckled, lacing her fingers behind his neck. “No.”
“We can stage a really big public fight. Make people think we hate each other.”
“That might be a good idea. I don’t think I’m that great of an actress, though. I’d start laughing and give the whole thing away.”
Grinning, he pulled himself away from her, securing the condom before withdrawing. For some insane reason, watching him do that made her long even more for the someday that would never, could never be. The thought of being with him this way every night.
The thought of giving him more children.
That were unquestionably his.
When he came back from the bathroom, he took one look at her expression and said, “Lighten up, buttercup.”
Both Iris’s hands flew to cover her face. “Oh my God. Stop.”
“You still owe me a rhyme.”
“No I don’t. No way. You want something dirty, I can tell.”
“I’m going to get it eventually. I have my ways.”
“The boys are still out, right?”
“Changing the subject?” He crawled across the messy covers to reach her, pulling her to his side and tossing the blankets over them both. “Yeah, they are.”
“We can’t fall asleep here, Eli.” The highway noise was already lulling her, and given her orgasms and his calming presence, she would be gone within five minutes.
“I know,” he murmured, turning his face into her hair. She let her fingertips glide over the ridges of his abs, following the dips and curves, the line of dark hair that disappeared into his pajama bottoms. He gave a breathy laugh. “Keep doing that, Nanny Iris, and you’re going to get in trouble.”
“Ew. This isn’t all about some kind of twisted fantasy fulfillment for you, is it?”
“Banging the babysitter?”
“Eli.” She gave his pectoral muscle a teasing bite.
“Keep doing that and you’ll really get in trouble.”
“You like it?” she asked shyly, lifting her head to look at him.
“I like all sorts of things.”
What if he had some really out-there needs he hadn’t sprung on her yet? What if she couldn’t keep up? “Anything I should know about?”
“You look worried.”
“Maybe a little.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Thirteen or so years ago, I probably would’ve been a nightmare for you. I’d tell you to run from that guy. But I’ve slowed down a lot.” He smirked with devilish mischief. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d still love to see you tied up to my bed if you’d
be into something like that. I’d love to have you any way you would let me. But if all we do is what we’ve been doing, that’s fucking fantastic, too. I’m adventurous but not outlandish. Not anymore.”
That didn’t sound so bad. After a moment, she told him so. He only said, “Of course it’s not bad. It’s fun. That’s all it’s meant to be.”
She was a little jealous, she realized, of all those women in his past. Oddly enough, however, she could find no jealousy for Heidi, the one who had stolen his heart in what sounded like the midst of all his hedonism.
How had she done it? Was it because she had been as wild as he was? What had he seen in her that drew him so? “Did Heidi . . . partake in all that with you? Was she the same way?”
“Do you really want to talk about this?”
She considered for a moment before giving her sober reply. “Yes.”
“All right. We lived it up until she got pregnant. I don’t think she got it through her head that I quit when she did. I didn’t want to bring our kid up in that environment. She’d grown up in an unstable home, but I hadn’t. I had roots to go back to. I stayed with my parents and detoxed, just to remove myself from everything and focus on myself. Pissed Heidi off, but it was what I needed. After that, I never looked back.”
She loved his parents even more for being the support he needed during that time. “It must take amazing willpower with all the temptations out here.”
His gaze shifted to the closed door, beyond which his children lay dreaming. “They keep me grounded. And I’ve seen it too many times: you change, or you fade. Or worse, you die.”
Iris lay quietly for a moment, listening to his breathing, feeling his heart thud hypnotically beneath her cheek. She replayed conversations in her head, all the times Heidi had run him down, poisoning her thoughts until in Iris’s mind he had been the villain. “I need to tell you something. Just so I can have a completely clear conscience.”
His breathing hitched. She raised her head again, making herself face the cautious questions in his eyes. “When we first met, you said you knew Heidi was sending me to spy on you. You weren’t wrong. She wanted me to do that. I lied to you when I said she didn’t. But I promise, it was never my intention to do that to you. The only time I even thought about it was when I thought I heard you with a woman, and I was so angry and jealous, but I couldn’t do it. Not even then. I couldn’t bring myself to run to her and tell on you.”
“Iris. That wasn’t me you heard. You know that, right?”
“I know. Somehow I think I knew all along you wouldn’t behave that way.”
“I should have said something. But as far as Heidi’s concerned, you’re not telling me anything I didn’t already know. I was still pissed about it and thinking you overhearing something like that was a perfect opportunity to prove myself right. When I never got an angry phone call from her, it told me that you really weren’t here for that.”
“I’m not, and never was. But still, I lied to you. I’m sorry.”
“Baby. I get it. You were loyal to her. It’s not something you could necessarily come clean about, and I’m sure I didn’t help by ranting at you about it.”
What a horrible day that had been. Thinking about it now made her cringe, even after everything that had happened. The anger in his eyes. She never wanted to see it there again, especially directed at her. Even so, she couldn’t resist the playful urge to give him a hard time about it. “That’s true, you didn’t. Mr. Vance.”
He grinned. “When you say it like that, I could get used to it.”
“Yeah?”
For a moment, he simply stared, until she began to wonder what was going on in that complicated head of his as the smile slowly fell from his face. Then she realized he was thinking of that day, too. “I was so fucking out of line. I wanted you off the tour so bad at the beginning I’d have done some dastardly shit. I almost did. If I could’ve found some way to get you in trouble or caught up in a scandal, I’d have taken it in a heartbeat. So I’m way worse than you, Iris. You were the bigger person. I was actively looking for ways to get rid of you, and I’d have jumped on any chance to get someone to help take you off my hands. It wasn’t until Quin made an ass of himself that I cut you a break, but it shouldn’t have taken that. I was a real bastard to you, and I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do to make up for it.”
She’d suspected all of this all along. “Now here we are, in a scandal of our own,” she mused out loud.
“Tell me about it.”
“Well . . . I’d rather be in it with you than anyone else.” Iris was striving for lightheartedness, but he shook his head, his expression obstinate.
“Don’t let me off the hook that easy.”
“I can’t help that I forgive you. It was a terrible situation we were put in, and maybe we reacted terribly. But it led us to find each other. I can’t have any regrets about that.” No matter how it turns out? she asked herself silently. If she lost him, if she lost everything, would it have been worth it?
They toyed with each other’s fingers while she pondered the question, finally placing their palms flat against each other’s, her hand dwarfed by his much bigger one. Those hands she had always admired, his fingers long and tapered, callused enough to create delicious, shivery friction along her nerves. Gentle enough to soothe those nerves with a single stroke. Firm enough, deft enough to arouse her to a frenzy.
She looked at his beauty, his strength, and imagined it being out of her reach forever.
Would it be worth it? She honestly didn’t know.
Thirty-five
They had just boarded the chartered yacht in Miami when Dylan said his tummy hurt.
Eli didn’t think much of it. Kids’ tummies seemed to hurt all the time, and most often when they were having to do something they didn’t want to do. Dylan and Seger both would have preferred to stay inside attached to their electronics, but Eli hadn’t given them that option. It was a beautiful day, hot, sunny and breezy, and the water was calling to him.
He tore his longing gaze from where the sapphire horizon met the clear sky and looked at Iris, who was in the process of slathering Dylan with sunblock and frowning at the boy from beneath her floppy hat. She placed a hand to his forehead. “Yeah? Did you get into the cookies when I wasn’t looking?”
He gave a shrug of one shoulder, a sure sign of guilt. “I only ate two cookies.”
“Well, you do feel warm, but it’s hot out here. I bet you’ll feel better in a little while once you start having fun. Maybe once your dad gets you out on the jet ski.”
Dylan accepted this and, his slight body adequately defended against the sun’s rays, ambled over to sit on the white circular couch by his equally pouting brother.
Iris stood from her kneeling position and moved to Eli’s side. She wore her modest black bathing suit today, probably not realizing it made him salivate just as much as the more indecent one she’d worn for him at his parents’ house. If not more. “Do you think he’s okay?” she asked. “I hope he isn’t coming down with something again. Seems too long since we were all sick for him to relapse.”
“I’m sure he’s fine. He didn’t want to come anyway.” That spoiled mentality got under his skin sometimes. These boys hadn’t grown up like Eli had, only a step away from poverty, or they would appreciate outings like this more. He hadn’t set eyes on the ocean for the first time until he was in his twenties and Ruin’s debut album had been a moderate success. “Seventy-foot yacht, and they’d rather stay on the bus. I would have loved to do something like this at their age.”
“I know,” she said gently, lifting a hand from the rail and quickly putting it back. He thought she might’ve meant to touch him before she caught herself. He often did the same thing with her. “Same here. But don’t be too hard on them. They don’t realize. How can they?”
Her coconut scent drifted to him on the breeze, along with her calming, always wise words, and he felt his agitation slip away. She was right, an
d there was no explaining it to them. This was the world they knew, and it was full of excess. Everything he’d always wanted to give them, he could and did, even though lately he feared it wasn’t the best thing for them.
Still, dammit, they were going to have fun today. In excess.
Iris gazed out at the bay, her expression unreadable behind her oversized sunglasses. How he would love to give her everything too. Take this boat and cruise with her over to the Bahamas. They could be there in only a few hours. Make a week of walking the white sand beaches, holding her hand for all the world to see.
He shouldn’t be fantasizing about indulgences with her when he couldn’t even offer her his hand to hold.
Such a classic, natural beauty. He could hardly take his eyes off her, even when it was necessary. Like now. Before he could, her head turned toward him and those generous lips opened, but the sweetly dirty words he’d love to hear, of course, didn’t come out.
What came out was “Did you put on sunblock?” Her prim tone yanked him rudely from his visions.
He scoffed. “No.”
“You need it.”
“I’m good.”
“You are not good. Let me put some on your back at least. You’re going to fry out here.”
Ah, hell, her touching him at all was dangerous, but he didn’t really need to be in agony tomorrow for the show, so he relented. And for the first time, Iris put her hands on him in front of his boys, her supple fingers slicking the cool lotion over his shoulders and down his back. She did so with almost clinical efficiency, and he tried to maintain his stoic annoyance with her efforts, but it was all he could do not to groan out loud.
“Now,” she said once she was done, her manner scolding in a way he’d love to spank her for later, if she’d be into that. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
He grunted. “Do you need some?”
“No, I managed by myself.”
That was probably for the best. Not that he wouldn’t love to get his hands on her sun-warmed skin, but that would be even more risky. He beat a hasty retreat over to his sons as the captain began to navigate them into the intracoastal.
